The world's shortest horror movies

A group of teenaged camp councilers decide to reopen the old campsite where years before, a masked killer went on a rampage and massacred everyone at the site. Suddenly remembering that the masked killer seems to reappear every time anyone tries to start the camp back up, they decide maybe it's a good idea to just leave it undisturbed and return to their normal job, where they can fuck and do drugs with no fears of being killed.

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A group of teenagers gets stranded on the side of the road and come across an abandoned house where a gruesome cannibal family lies in wait. Before entering the house, however, the teens spot a gas station with a working phone and decide to go there. The cannibal family just shrug their shoulders and wait for a less intelligent bunch to come along.

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In an arctic research station, a team of American scientists come across an alien figure in a block of ice. They decide to leave well enough alone and return to their base without the speciman.

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No one moves to Elm Street.

A member of a landing party scouting a crashed alien ship on another planet comes across a chamber with hundreds of egg-like objects. Hovering over one, he notices something moving inside, so he decides it would be a bad idea to take a closer look, and he leaves.

Two American tourists are holidaying in Eastern Europe. While visiting a local pub, the villagers tell them to "beware castle Dracula". Later they are caught in a rain shower, and are just about to seek shelter in the castle on the hill when they remember the yokels' warning and head back to their guesthouse instead.

Old duffer that now appears in TV adverts for Insurance for old 'careful' drivers, buys a strange wooden box 'puzzle' in a bazaar in Marrakesh, from a weird bearded bloke that keeps saying 'What's your pleasure?'.

He takes it home and sells it on Ebay, as an early Rubiks cube.

i've got a 3 second reel of meself scratchin my browneye...

do I win 39 pounds 50 pence?

Two American lads hiking in the moors enter The Slaughtered Lamb for a respite from the cold. They ask the locals about the red pentagram on the wall, but there's no answer, just menacing looks. They get up to leave; a woman says "you can't let them go," another man says "Beware the moon lads," and heeding the hidden warnings, the lads decide to stay inside where it's warm after all.

A family drive in a camper van along a long road in the desert, lost. The eldest child in the back sees a dusty sign on the edge of the road with 'DANGER: Former nuclear testing site' emblazoned across it. He informs his Dad at the wheel who promptly turns the car around and heads for home.

In 1921, a team of British archaeologists discovers the mummified remains of Imhotep, along with the Scroll of Thoth. Short of a bog roll, one of the workers uses the scroll instead, and then burns it to keep the camp sanitary. The mummy of Imhotep is loaded onto a ship bound for London, where it is dissected for research.

A group of teenagers arrive at a cabin in the dark secluded woods. Unbeknowest to them there is terror in the woods. The crazied murderer aided with a chainsaw, awaits by their window, deciding to wait until the game "hide the salami" is played. However, they are a religious camp and have a strict value in abstinance until marriage. They all sleep seperately. The killer awaiting his moment falls asleep at the window sill. In the late afternoon, he awakes, realizing that the cabin has been vacated.

A young doctor dedicated to bringing the dead back to life decides to avoid prosecution by trying to obtain a corpse legally. Frustrated by the red tape, he gives up his unholy obsession to treat those still living, but in dire need of better healthcare in 18th century Europe.

A mad bastard breaks into an innocent couple's house and ties the husband to a chair,throws the wife on the bed and starts kissing her neck,before dissappearing into the bathroom....

The Hubby says to his wife,while the intruder is in the bathroom"he wants you I saw him kissing your neck.Do anything he says,no matter how nausiating,and we might get out of this mess alive...Be strong honey, I love you"

The wife says "He was'nt kissing my neck honey,he was whispering he's gay,and asked if we had any Vasiline..Be strong honey,I love you too"