First thing you do when you wake up

I loves me caffeine, so coffee pot is first, then through for a slash.

And, personally, I'm quite happy walking around the house naked with the 'owd soldier standing to attention....

Anyone else got a ritual?

go back to sleep...

Bog switch monitor/tv on so that it's stopped being fragile and flicery when I return from.... caffeine duties.

Groan Press snooze Doze Groan Press snooze again

(Repeat approx. 5 times)

Look at clock Swear Dive out of bed Wash/clean teeth Throw clothes on Brush hair Drink orange juice Eat cereal Leave for work

Realise it's Saturday.

Hide the hard on if the kids are up...Pull the head off it,if not.

Looking at the above, it seems you're the only w*nker on hear Boaty!

The rest are liars!

Go for a piss and THANK the LORD i am not going to work!

Who you calling winker Jem? I aint no Ronaldo

And where's this email about your funny dream featuring me and her indoors,you promised? Waiting,still..:Tapsfoot:

Look at the time,listen to see if i can guess what the weathers like outside.

:mail4u:

Missy Jem wrote: Looking at the above, it seems you're the only w*nker on hear Boaty!

The rest are liars!

No time for entertainment on a work night. Mind you on my time off it takes two wanks just to start me heart :D

Doctor? wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: Looking at the above, it seems you're the only w*nker on hear Boaty!

The rest are liars!

No time for entertainment on a work night. Mind you on my time off it takes two wanks just to start me heart :D

You have a swinging brick for a heart tho Steve..Good job you don't have two hearts like your hero Doctor Who I reckon? Two swinging bricks would be a real show stopper when combined with wanking.Iyaz!Claret all over the gaff

P.S. Does the Doctor have two hearts? or am I talking shite.I hope he does! Otherwise he's just a jumped up punk,whose fuck all without a Tardis and a mediocre line in underwear!

Does he have three hearts, even?

go back to sleep.... wake back up.... lay there....think about making breakfast finally get up...put on shoes... god this is boring....:)

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: go take a leak..if I tried to have a wank first thing in the morning, I would just end up shooting my piss all over the place!!!

Young hearts,run free, never get hung up,hung up like Jeff al Jeffrizzi!

Boatraceface wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: Looking at the above, it seems you're the only w*nker on hear Boaty!

The rest are liars!

No time for entertainment on a work night. Mind you on my time off it takes two wanks just to start me heart :D

You have a swinging brick for a heart tho Steve..Good job you don't have two hearts like your hero Doctor Who I reckon? Two swinging bricks would be a real show stopper when combined with wanking.Iyaz!Claret all over the gaff

P.S. Does the Doctor have two hearts? or am I talking shite.I hope he does! Otherwise he's just a jumped up punk,whose fuck all without a Tardis and a mediocre line in underwear!

Does he have three hearts, even?

Aye, he has two hearts, a respiritory bypass system and half a dozen other bizarre phyiological quirks.

Underneath my cold exterior beats a heart of pure stone :D

Doctor? wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: Looking at the above, it seems you're the only w*nker on hear Boaty!

The rest are liars!

No time for entertainment on a work night. Mind you on my time off it takes two wanks just to start me heart :D

You have a swinging brick for a heart tho Steve..Good job you don't have two hearts like your hero Doctor Who I reckon? Two swinging bricks would be a real show stopper when combined with wanking.Iyaz!Claret all over the gaff

P.S. Does the Doctor have two hearts? or am I talking shite.I hope he does! Otherwise he's just a jumped up punk,whose fuck all without a Tardis and a mediocre line in underwear!

Does he have three hearts, even?

Aye, he has two hearts, a respiritory bypass system and half a dozen other bizarre phyiological quirks.

Underneath my cold exterior beats a heart of pure stone :D

And a pen that picks locks and everything.Don't forget the pen!

Could you ave him in a scrap Steve?Special laser pens put to one side. Just the two of you duking it out in nothing more than a pair of Tardis-wabs? I reckon the Doctor would be a hard bastard with a few moves.

Missy Jem wrote: Groan Press snooze Doze Groan Press snooze again

(Repeat approx. 5 times)

Look at clock Swear Dive out of bed Wash/clean teeth Throw clothes on Brush hair Drink orange juice Eat cereal Leave for work

Realise it's Saturday.

ewww don't you shower?!!

I tend to shower before bed, as I can't get up in a morning!

Sorry, double post!

Missy Jem wrote: I tend to shower before bed, as I can't get up in a morning!

Always thought you are a DIRTY B*TCH

Curse Dress Curse wake kids curse wake them again get them all ready, fed & off to schools

then i can think about my own breakfast (if the youngest will let me)

Missy Jem wrote: Groan Press snooze [...] Wash/clean teeth [...] Eat cereal Leave for work

Realise it's Saturday.

What is the use of brushing your teeth before having your breakfast ?

What if you smile at work while some cereals remain between your teeth ?

My dentist told me it's better than to have nasty plaque and stuff from your teeth going on your cornflakes!

IS IT PICK ON JEM DAY TODAY?????!!!!

CuanaD - D-plus wrote: Curse Dress Curse wake kids curse wake them again get them all ready, fed & off to schools

then i can think about my own breakfast (if the youngest will let me)

Similar story here! But take time to empty your bins! or your Town Halls will end up chocca,and you'll have to carry them around in a wheel barrow like Buster Gonad! It only takes a minute..or less if your faster! My tip of the day to those with hectic schedules Everyone will benifit from your sunny disposition if you only make time...or your money back

ally wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: I tend to shower before bed, as I can't get up in a morning!

Ditto! I find it much easier to shave in the evening as well so I just have to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast then fcuk off out the door.

I'm definitely not a morning person. I quite regularly have difficulty spooning Weetabix into me gob before I have to get into the car :dead:

As for the poll, anyone who can knock out a quick one first thing in the morning must have a fantastic bladder

And anyone who can't is just plain giving it up for Lent,surely?

Missy Jem wrote: My dentist told me it's better than to have nasty plaque and stuff from your teeth going on your cornflakes!

IS IT PICK ON JEM DAY TODAY?????!!!!

Well, here we say "menteur comme dentiste" ("liar like a dentist")...

Jiphy wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: Groan Press snooze [...] Wash/clean teeth [...] Eat cereal Leave for work

Realise it's Saturday.

What is the use of brushing your teeth before having your breakfast ?

What if you smile at work while some cereals remain between your teeth ?

Still tho..better than an awkward noticable pube flossing your knashers of a morning! Uncouth,to say the least!

Boatraceface wrote:

CuanaD - D-plus wrote: Curse Dress Curse wake kids curse wake them again get them all ready, fed & off to schools

then i can think about my own breakfast (if the youngest will let me)

Similar story here! But take time to empty your bins! or your Town Halls will end up chocca,and you'll have to carry them around in a wheel barrow like Buster Gonad! It only takes a minute..or less if your faster! My tip of the day to those with hectic schedules Everyone will benifit from your sunny disposition if you only make time...or your money back

I'll try to remember that tomorrow morn

. . . but that'll mean i'll be thinking of you while i'm polishing - THAT's not gonna work

coffee

ally wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: And anyone who can't is just plain giving it up for Lent,surely?

There's nowt wrong with a bit of Lent

True. But in my experience, it's better to make a tent!

CuanaD - D-plus wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

CuanaD - D-plus wrote: Curse Dress Curse wake kids curse wake them again get them all ready, fed & off to schools

then i can think about my own breakfast (if the youngest will let me)

Similar story here! But take time to empty your bins! or your Town Halls will end up chocca,and you'll have to carry them around in a wheel barrow like Buster Gonad! It only takes a minute..or less if your faster! My tip of the day to those with hectic schedules Everyone will benifit from your sunny disposition if you only make time...or your money back

I'll try to remember that tomorrow morn

. . . but that'll mean i'll be thinking of you while i'm polishing - THAT's not gonna work

That's ok.That's what Gay icons are for..Hang on!I'm not here to be wanked at

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: go take a leak..if I tried to have a wank first thing in the morning, I would just end up shooting my piss all over the place!!!

that makes two of us

Rick Banks wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: go take a leak..if I tried to have a wank first thing in the morning, I would just end up shooting my piss all over the place!!!

that makes two of us

Tubgirl, is the girl for you

Boatraceface wrote:

CuanaD - D-plus wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

CuanaD - D-plus wrote: Curse Dress Curse wake kids curse wake them again get them all ready, fed & off to schools

then i can think about my own breakfast (if the youngest will let me)

Similar story here! But take time to empty your bins! or your Town Halls will end up chocca,and you'll have to carry them around in a wheel barrow like Buster Gonad! It only takes a minute..or less if your faster! My tip of the day to those with hectic schedules Everyone will benifit from your sunny disposition if you only make time...or your money back

I'll try to remember that tomorrow morn

. . . but that'll mean i'll be thinking of you while i'm polishing - THAT's not gonna work

That's ok.That's what Gay icons are for..Hang on!I'm not here to be wanked at

that's ok - i'll just think about some of the nool girls instead, right, who's in this thread? . . . . Jem. . . . ChrisM . . . together . . . sorted

Apologies to all concerned, i'll get me coat, etc

Bet you revert back to Boatrace at the last minute!

Missy Jem wrote:

Bet you revert back to Boatrace at the last minute!

bet you do too

to check my e-mail and after taht to take a shower!!

hibster wrote: go back to sleep...

i'd like to do that too!!

Take a piss. Wife makes the coffee.

Boatraceface wrote:

Rick Banks wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: go take a leak..if I tried to have a wank first thing in the morning, I would just end up shooting my piss all over the place!!!

that makes two of us

Tubgirl, is the girl for you

oh god no

well whatever flicks your switch

CuanaD - D-plus wrote:

Missy Jem wrote:

Bet you revert back to Boatrace at the last minute!

bet you do too

Vinegar-strokeraceface! My Mam will be soooo proud!

Out of bed

Have Shower

Have a piss

Get out of shower

(What? )

Turn off the outside porch light and throw on some tunes (Neko Case today) after waiting for my morning boner to subside.

MONTY The Merciless wrote: Out of bed

Have Shower

Have a piss

Get out of shower

(What? )

Good, you know how to save water...

1. stumble over a cat on the floor
2. wait for morning wood to subside (or do that uncomfortable bendy thing while onto #3)
3. take a piss
4. turn on computer/check NOOL and email
5. eat a snack
6. morning wood returns/masturbate efficiently
7. hop in shower
8. get dressed
9. shave
10. make breakfast

get up and eat breakfast, usually cereal

if you shower at night and get into a dirty bed that's groce.. also if your sheets are mostly clean even you can be sweating and who knows what for the 8 hours while sleeping. blah

I shower before work, but I just CAN'T eat for hours after I get up, it's like my guts stay asleep for 4 more hours or something.

EG...I had sod all sleep for the last few days so yesterday morning I went to bed as soon as I got home....I went to bed STARVING, woke up 3 hours later and got up ( was planning a second nap pre-work), and had to practicaly force food down my throat with a sink plunger.

Where's the option for switching on the teev and watching Aerobics Ozstyle?

:\pimp3:

I first of all TURN THE STEREO on - why is it not on the frigging list??? Then comes whatever on the way - wife, piss, drugs, whatever.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: I first of all TURN THE STEREO on - why is it not on the frigging list??? Then comes whatever on the way - wife, piss, drugs, whatever.

What, so you crank up the CHOONS and then piss all over your wife while she hoovers up the morning charlie??? Every morning????

Fuck me - DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS, FOLKS??!!!??

Chrissy says, 'RELAX'! wrote: if you shower at night and get into a dirty bed that's groce.. also if your sheets are mostly clean even you can be sweating and who knows what for the 8 hours while sleeping. blah

My bedding is ALWAYS clean, I change it once a week, it's my luxury to have lovely smelling bedding. I don't sweat, I'm a lady. I only shower at night on a school night because I know I'll be late in the morning.

At weekends I shower in the morning and if I go out, I re-shower that night.

Missy Jem Extremely Hygienic

1. turn the alarm off
2. try and remember what day it is
3. check if the missus is asleep
4. if 3. is yes, then let the boner go down while heading into pisshouse and shower (vet says not to waste them while trying for kid)
5. if 3. is no, then 2. and maybe put said boner to good use
6. if 3. is no but 2. is wrong and we both have to be on train by 6.30am then
7. check computer to see if overnight torrent has finished downloading, or similar.

Missy Jem wrote:

Chrissy says, 'RELAX'! wrote: if you shower at night and get into a dirty bed that's groce.. also if your sheets are mostly clean even you can be sweating and who knows what for the 8 hours while sleeping. blah

My bedding is ALWAYS clean, I change it once a week, it's my luxury to have lovely smelling bedding. I don't sweat, I'm a lady. I only shower at night on a school night because I know I'll be late in the morning.

At weekends I shower in the morning and if I go out, I re-shower that night.

Missy Jem Extremely Hygienic

The lady protests too much.

You are smelly Jem and I claim my £40.

you gotta shower in the morning.

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Missy Jem wrote:

Chrissy says, 'RELAX'! wrote: if you shower at night and get into a dirty bed that's groce.. also if your sheets are mostly clean even you can be sweating and who knows what for the 8 hours while sleeping. blah

My bedding is ALWAYS clean, I change it once a week, it's my luxury to have lovely smelling bedding. I don't sweat, I'm a lady. I only shower at night on a school night because I know I'll be late in the morning.

At weekends I shower in the morning and if I go out, I re-shower that night.

Missy Jem Extremely Hygienic

The lady protests too much.

You are smelly Jem and I claim my £40.

I stink!:p

Doctor Clayhead wrote: The lady protests too much.

You are smelly Jem and I claim my £40.

Doesn't this shower before bed routine also kind of imply you ain't gettin' no sugar stick?

:\pimp3:

Or does it imply I'm ultra clean when I do?

scratch me nut sack and me knob.

and wipe the cack out of the corner of both eyes.

J.A.K wrote: wipe the cack out of the corner of both eyes.

Both eyes? Pretty adventurous. I bet the boys down at Scouser McFisty's (a reputable gay bar) love to see you coming in with two empty arms.

1. hit the alarm, and snooze for about 15-18 minutes

2. also try to remember what day it is

3. during the week, there's almost no time for sex of any type at all in the morning

4. shower, shave, check on torrents and e-mail, eat breakfast

Missy Jem wrote: I tend to shower before bed, as I can't get up in a morning!

you wont be able to get up in a morning,your a girl and i hope you,ve no balls to scratch either.

Some of us might be approaching that time of life where we go a for a piss before we wake up.

Cheers

I wake up to realise I'm stil alive! DAMN!

Yeah, then I check my boobs, are they ok. And scratch my balls, because they're itchy in the morning..

BONOette wrote: I wake up to realise I'm stil alive! DAMN!

Yeah, then I check my boobs, are they ok. And scratch my balls, because they're itchy in the morning..

boobs and balls.

NOOLigan wrote:

BONOette wrote: I wake up to realise I'm stil alive! DAMN!

Yeah, then I check my boobs, are they ok. And scratch my balls, because they're itchy in the morning..

boobs and balls.

Whatever floats your boat.