14 replies · 285 views
If you are sitting next to someone who irritates you on a plane or train....
Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
Remove your laptop.
Boot it.
Make sure the person can see the screen.
Open this message.
Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
Then hit this link:
Hilarious.....BUT.....
these days having some scrolling numbers and johnny foreigner speak on your screen is MORE than enough to get you a trip to cuba, or a back full of lead.
So I have a plan.....
Dunno how you do this in windows, but here goes.....
save local copy of webpage wget http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf
display page.....
firefox ./countdown.swf &
(the & means get on with the next thing while this happens)
wait for say 15 seconds ( to allow time for program to open and countdown to run)
sleep 15 &&
(the && means, wait for this to finish before moving on)
Now kill the browser, wipe the file, wipe any trace of it.....
killall -9 firefox && shred -f ./sountdown.swf && shred -rf /home/steve/.firefox/history &% ltris & shred -f /usr/local/bin/countdown.sh && shred /home/steve/.bash_history
(where countdown.sh is the script containing the above, and shred is a command which deletes a file then writes over it about 30 times with a random pattern of 0's and 265's so that no magetic traace will ever be detected.)
Do it this way and all you need to say is that the irritant is clearly disturbed, and you were playing tetris, well ltris.
This post was brough to you by 3 days with feck all sleep interspersed with installing my new laptop.
Missy Jem wrote: That's because you're a peasant
And you are unpeasent with a capital L,missy. Fix the link,put the tea on and give us 20 quid for beer money,and I'll take that back..
arek p. wrote:
Boatraceface wrote: Link not working for me
so youre alive, hehehe
No I'm chopped liver.
Eh? Who said I was a brave,brave man, but that I was dead? 
Quality! 
Late 2001,after 9/11 Loaded magazine ran a fake add for a Talibanagram-you could hire a person of arabic looking origin to sit next to someone on the bus,train,cafe,pub-whatever-who would sweat profusely,keep looking around and checking his bag every 30 seconds.
Fucking hilarious at the time!
