Sod that, ask a Horwicher...

All questions considered...

Thankyou Jefferani

A bottle of red is always better.

Next...

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Should I think it odd when a lady approaches me in my store and asks where my nuts are???

and is it strange that I have to stifle a giggle before I tell her they are on aisle B5???

Now this is a tricky one, you should be careful not to be condescending. She could be a virgin and be unfamiliar with the male anatomy. However, as I am not an expert in this field, I suggest you write to an agony aunt.

Or get another job.

What exactly is a horwich? a prostitute between two slices of bread?

What became of Frank Worthington?

Ah the flamboyant Frank.

He is presently living in a hut in Outer Mongolia with his Auntie Edith and spends his days playing Bridge and combing his sideburns.

Jemmy, :p Are there any Geography teachers in Horwich schools and do any of the kids bother turning up?

There are but the only area covered in the Curriculum is Lancashire. Educating on non-local areas is frowned upon.

Missy Jem wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Should I think it odd when a lady approaches me in my store and asks where my nuts are???

and is it strange that I have to stifle a giggle before I tell her they are on aisle B5???

Now this is a tricky one, you should be careful not to be condescending. She could be a virgin and be unfamiliar with the male anatomy. However, as I am not an expert in this field, I suggest you write to an agony aunt.

Or get another job.

I get that all the time. In fact I get ladies asking how my nuts are. Answer is always big salty and fresh of course.

OK.. my question...

Ant or Dec?

who is Sausage ears? lol

What were you doing at 5:37 this morning?

Weren't you meant to ring me Jemmy?

is it true that bolton actually does not have a twin town but it has a suicide pact with middlesboro ?

NObabe wrote: What were you doing at 5:37 this morning?

me, i was asleep for another 10 mins. lol

Doctor? wrote: Weren't you meant to ring me Jemmy?

Would she have made any sense?

If Norwich is Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home, what is Horwich?

James Thomas wrote: If Norwich is Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home, what is Horwich?

Hat

that's foreplay there.

What phone number do you call to cancel your Barclaycard when you've lost it in the Red Light district of a foreign city?

Is there any truth in the saying "Where Horwich goes Manchester follows" ?

After Horwich's premier nightspot infamous for its hedonism and feuding shut down and got turned into flats, long before that second rate imitation in Manchester the Hacienda followed suit ?

Cheers

NObabe wrote: What were you doing at 5:37 this morning?

So you got one as well, Maya

Did yours finish "... you fucka x x"

Leggy D wrote:

NObabe wrote: What were you doing at 5:37 this morning?

So you got one as well, Maya

Did yours finish "... you fucka x x"

I got off lightly, I guess.

Exactly what is so tempting you cant resist it Jem?

I'm sticking with Rocket

BIGINOIL wrote: I'm sticking with Rocket

How BLOODY dare they!I have these THREADS trademarked and they take the audacity to STEAL!Just how many PEOPLE live in HORWICH?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves,is it a hostage situation?

Do you KNOW that crazy woman who speaks to JESUS CHRIST in a GLASS of WATER?Saw a documentary on her last night.QUALITY lIAR!

ROCKET MICK wrote: Do you KNOW that crazy woman who speaks to JESUS CHRIST in a GLASS of WATER?Saw a documentary on her last night.QUALITY lIAR!

classic that. some Irish tart. ripping off the yanks. £110 for a session of fuck all. the funny bit was when they flashed the wrong number up on the tv and her Cash controller (the hubby) went up to the tv presnters desk to tell him of the mistake.

Oh yeah...Q's: why should i ask someone from Bolton a question? hhhmmmf....Bolton?

Anybody see the dwarves on channel 4 last night.. The one who did karate,and handstand push ups was a beaut.I want one

Boatraceface wrote: Anybody see the dwarves on channel 4 last night.. The one who did karate,and handstand push ups was a beaut.I want one

there's Dwarf's (like Snow white ones) and there's dwarfs. those dwarfs were way too small. I prefer them a good inch and half bigger. so, i had to turn over.

Ye, but the one I want would have made a top class Time Bandit.

Back on topic. Is atheism a non-prophet organisation?

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Are there any burgers in your neck of the woods that would rival one from my favorite local burgershack...Dan's???? Not only do they have the best tasting, greasy ass triple meat cheeseburger that you can tell is clogging your arteries as you eat it...but they make a mean breakfast taco as well...

Fran's is just as good, and I'll bet there's not a Fran's or Dan's in Horwich.....or breakfast tacos, for that matter.

Lisa Brooke wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Are there any burgers in your neck of the woods that would rival one from my favorite local burgershack...Dan's???? Not only do they have the best tasting, greasy ass triple meat cheeseburger that you can tell is clogging your arteries as you eat it...but they make a mean breakfast taco as well...

Fran's is just as good, and I'll bet there's not a Fran's or Dan's in Horwich.....or breakfast tacos, for that matter.

A person from Horwich wouldn't even have a clue what a taco is. Its backward beyond belief.

Ahem, I was in Liverpool on Saturday JAK and I can assure you the gene pool in Horwich is far superior

Missy Jem wrote: Ahem, I was in Liverpool on Saturday JAK and I can assure you the gene pool in Horwich is far superior

I thought there was a bad wiff in the air on Saturday night.

Lisa Brooke wrote:

Fran's is just as good, and I'll bet there's not a Fran's or Dan's in Horwich.....or breakfast tacos, for that matter.

There isn't, and you can keep them. Horwich is only a small town and we have all sorts of fast food shops but the best way to eat is from one of the many restaurants here: 2 tapas, 1 world cuisine, 2 indians, 2 chinese, 1 greek, 1 cantonese, 3 italians. All lovely restaurants.

Missy Jem wrote:

Lisa Brooke wrote:

Fran's is just as good, and I'll bet there's not a Fran's or Dan's in Horwich.....or breakfast tacos, for that matter.

There isn't, and you can keep them. Horwich is only a small town and we have all sorts of fast food shops but the best way to eat is from one of the many restaurants here: 2 tapas, 1 world cuisine, 2 indians, 2 chinese, 1 greek, 1 cantonese, 3 italians. All lovely restaurants.

plus about 119 Kebab Shops.

banshee wrote: is it true that bolton actually does not have a twin town but it has a suicide pact with middlesboro ?

Is it also true that you have used this joke in another thread?

Steve One wrote: Exactly what is so tempting you cant resist it Jem?

Read my quote properly, the answer is 'everything'

GlasVegas wrote: What phone number do you call to cancel your Barclaycard when you've lost it in the Red Light district of a foreign city?

You should remember that. Prostitutes are moving with the times, taking Barclaycard eh? Marvellous, whatever next? I wonder where they swipe it though

NObabe wrote: What were you doing at 5:37 this morning?

Having a brilliant time

Missy Jem wrote:

Steve One wrote: Exactly what is so tempting you cant resist it Jem?

Read my quote properly, the answer is 'everything'

Dont take that tone with me missy!

:bitchslapssteve:

Missy Jem wrote: :bitchslapssteve:

:owyoucow!: :bemorespecific,ifuplz:

Why did you slap Steve Lea?

if there's bitchslappins going on, can I have one too?

Missy Jem wrote:

NObabe wrote: What were you doing at 5:37 this morning?

Having a brilliant time

So do you often think of me whilst having a brilliant time then?

something only a horwichite could answer. max max or abacus??

Steve Lea wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: :bitchslapssteve:

:owyoucow!: :bemorespecific,ifuplz:

I was actually slapping SteveOne!!

mike powell wrote: something only a horwichite could answer. max max or abacus??

Leo's

Missy Jem wrote:

mike powell wrote: something only a horwichite could answer. max max or abacus??

Leo's

ill give it a try,cheerrs:D