How to fix a printer?

It won't feed the paper

edit: feeds the photo paper but not the normal one

Check the printer itself and it's drivers in windos for paper thickness settings. Some printers, particularly decent ones, are SERIOUSLY pernickety about such things, and will "spin their wheels" if they find paper thinner than they were told to expect, and jam if it's thicker.

Having said that, My "Doctor's guaranteed repair sequence" goes like this.

Persuasion Threats Hammer

Printers are robots, Asimov clearly stated the laws of robotics, which printers are NOT fitted with.

Law 1: A robot may not harm or through inaction allow to come to harm a human being. Equals= Printer has to work because you'll get your bollox rolled if you don't get that report in on time.

Law 2: A Robot must obey all instructions given it by a human being, save where such orders conflict with Law 1. Equals= Printer has to work cos you told the cunt to.

Law 3: A robot must preserve it's own wellbeing so as long as such preservation does not conflict with Law 2 or Law 1. Equals= The Printer has to print cos if it doesn't it's going out a window/in the microwave/under a bus.

See, if people listened to Asimov a bit more the world would be a better place.

Same goes for scanners.

PS, in case you were in any doubt. I SERIOUSLY hate printers ........ and scanners

Take a rock to it

That'll teach it who's boss

I find that kicking the printers at work usually helps.

NObabe wrote: It won't feed the paper

edit: feeds the photo paper but not the normal one

How many slaves are being employed down there?

You might need to look into new hires :p

Taboo # 7 wrote:

How many slaves are being employed down there?

naughty

NObabe wrote:

Taboo # 7 wrote:

How many slaves are being employed down there?

naughty

Took me a minute to realize my double entendre

I really need to bone up on my euphemisms

NObabe wrote:

Taboo # 7 wrote:

How many slaves are being employed down there?

naughty

It's not naughty it's true. Printers are run by armies of enslaved pixies, how else do you think they work?

Oh, and most household gadgets are powered by magic smoke.....easy experiment to prove......things work, then one day they magic smoke gets out, and then they stop working. See!

And the 2007 oscar for best missing of the gag in a NOOL thread goes to .....

"DOCTOR?"

Ron will be crushed

Doctor? wrote:

NObabe wrote:

Taboo # 7 wrote:

How many slaves are being employed down there?

naughty

It's not naughty it's true. Printers are run by armies of enslaved pixies, how else do you think they work?

Oh, and most household gadgets are powered by magic smoke.....easy experiment to prove......things work, then one day they magic smoke gets out, and then they stop working. See!

you can usually exchange your goods for brand new ones once the magic smoke disappears though, by filling out one of the id-10t forms. Most companies don't like handing these out (though it is Federal la to offer them)so don't be suprised if the telephone operator isn't aware of them. Usually have to talk to two or three managers before they know what you're talking about.

Doctor? wrote: And the 2007 oscar for best missing of the gag in a NOOL thread goes to .....

"DOCTOR?"

Ron will be crushed

Crushed indeed. BTW it is good to see all those old jokes again.

There is a difference between missing a joke and deliberately missing it. Blame it on my lateral mind.

Trust me....when the magic smoke gets out of anything I own....I made it happen and there's no claiming back anything :D

reminds me of a joke I heard "How do I set a laser printer to stun?"

Bought a new one in the end but now THAT one won't print black. (and yes the black cartridge IS installed with the sticky tape cover removed)

Johnny wrote: Bought a new one in the end but now THAT one won't print black. (and yes the black cartridge IS installed with the sticky tape cover removed)

You may have to set it to black in the printer print menu, or open it up, not with a screwdriver. ;)Click on either the printer icon or my computer/control panel/printers. Then have play with the printer's properties.

I hope this helps. I have only been fighting with the printers at work for about 10 years. :)

NOOLigan wrote:

Johnny wrote: Bought a new one in the end but now THAT one won't print black. (and yes the black cartridge IS installed with the sticky tape cover removed)

You may have to set it to black in the printer print menu, or open it up, not with a screwdriver. ;)Click on either the printer icon or my computer/control panel/printers. Then have play with the printer's properties.

I hope this helps. I have only been fighting with the printers at work for about 10 years. :)

Found there was a SECOND bit of tape on the black cartridge to remove and now it's sorted cheers

Johnny wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Johnny wrote: Bought a new one in the end but now THAT one won't print black. (and yes the black cartridge IS installed with the sticky tape cover removed)

You may have to set it to black in the printer print menu, or open it up, not with a screwdriver. ;)Click on either the printer icon or my computer/control panel/printers. Then have play with the printer's properties.

I hope this helps. I have only been fighting with the printers at work for about 10 years. :)

Found there was a SECOND bit of tape on the black cartridge to remove and now it's sorted cheers

Blame someone else,buy new one,give them the bill. Easy.

Johnny at Today - 8:49:20 AM

A bit late for work, aren't you?

NObabe wrote: Johnny at Today - 8:49:20 AM

A bit late for work, aren't you?

YES just what has happened to the clocks here?Even with my extra hours in bed this is MAKING me look even LAZIER than NORMAL!