Bedroom Sport, ever so slightly O/T

Friday's joke time My mate Sean sent this over from the land of OZ......

The Rules of Bedroom Golf

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played , or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owners request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

where are you's hiding - I'm fookin bored shitless! post anything (reaches for a bottle of Vodka )

Nah - haven't got E4 matey - but even if I did - I would not be watching that crap Not unless someone phoned and said one of the birds has her tits out I've been at snooker with me mate Darren - gubbed him 7-1 I have taped Have I got News For You & Frasier to watch later - looking forward to seeing ole Angus getting a roasting from messrs Merton & Hislop

Originally posted by The Hacienda must be (re)built Show which one do you fancy boys, my fav is the one in the england top

Niely - are you talking about BB? If you are - I never watch it until the last couple of weeks till it gets interesting;)

Originally posted by snucker > Originally posted by ShugZV> where are you's hiding - I'm fookin bored shitless!> post anything (reaches for a bottle of Vodka )

i'd post something if i understood your joke. ah hell, i've already posted something.

Alicia - are you trying to tell me you do not understand the rules of bedroom golf? I find that one hard to believe;)