C.S.I. Crouch End

"Trust the evidence - it never lies"

Well, we hope it doesn't!!

A puddle on the living room floor and an empty pint glass of water.

Sorry to sound like im working, but how do you know the empty glass contained water? An empty glass cant have a pint of water in it...

Leggy D wrote: "Trust the evidence - it never lies"

Well, we hope it doesn't!!

A puddle on the living room floor and an empty pint glass of water.

I'm sure Hotel Jarvis is accustomed to this kind of covering-up-the-fact-that-you-couldn't-be-arsed-to-go-to-the-toilet-for-a-piss shenanigans.

Prime suspect = Dave Legge, for flagging up the evidence in an effort to disavow his own guilt.

Steve One wrote: Sorry to sound like im working, but how do you know the empty glass contained water? An empty glass cant have a pint of water in it...

Steve, You, Working ??!!??

Never

The glass contained a small amout of liquid. Clear and without smell. I'm guessing that Lab tests will prove it to be water and further testing will show that a knocked over pint glass doesn't empty completly due to the 'bulge' in the middle of the glass.

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

I'm sure Hotel Jarvis is accustomed to this kind of covering-up-the-fact-that-you-couldn't-be-arsed-to-go-to-the-toilet-for-a-piss shenanigans.

Prime suspect = Dave Legge, for flagging up the evidence in an effort to disavow his own guilt.

Mmmm. I did think long and hard before starting the thread for this very reason

But I'm certain of my actions last night, dispite being very hammered.

I awoke this morning with my boots still on and with the sleeping bag being used as a pillow. If I'd woken in the night for a lash, I'm sure I would have then taken my boots off and attempted to get in the sleeping bag.

I also woke with a bladder full enough for a five minute piss in the bog. There'd have been a full scale flood if I'd done that in the living room.

Also, if I'd pissed anywhere other than the bog, I'd have made an effort to piss on Liam's head

I can't speak for the night time actions of Alex and Liam!!

El Jarvo wrote: Have I even got a flat left to go home to?!

I know how these things work - just torch the place to hide any evidence!

It was fine when I left, honest, guv!!

Next weeks episode of C.S.I. Crouch End is going to attempt to answer the question of who killed all the Herons

Leggy D wrote: Next weeks episode of C.S.I. Crouch End is going to attempt to answer the question of who killed all the Herons

El Jarvo wrote:

Leggy D wrote: Next weeks episode of C.S.I. Crouch End is going to attempt to answer the question of who killed all the Herons

Do you know how much it is to get it done yourself!

I was quoted a cool one thousand pounds by Get Stuffed of Old Street.

And I would've had to provide me own Heron.

Thank fcuk for ebay!

A Grand??!!??

I trust you told him to, err, get stuffed

Leggy D wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

I'm sure Hotel Jarvis is accustomed to this kind of covering-up-the-fact-that-you-couldn't-be-arsed-to-go-to-the-toilet-for-a-piss shenanigans.

Prime suspect = Dave Legge, for flagging up the evidence in an effort to disavow his own guilt.

Mmmm. I did think long and hard before starting the thread for this very reason

But I'm certain of my actions last night, dispite being very hammered.

I awoke this morning with my boots still on and with the sleeping bag being used as a pillow. If I'd woken in the night for a lash, I'm sure I would have then taken my boots off and attempted to get in the sleeping bag.

I also woke with a bladder full enough for a five minute piss in the bog. There'd have been a full scale flood if I'd done that in the living room.

Also, if I'd pissed anywhere other than the bog, I'd have made an effort to piss on Liam's head

I can't speak for the night time actions of Alex and Liam!!

It's increasingly obvious that the glass is a red herring.

Therefore, the only viable (if unpalatable) conclusion is:

DAVE, LIAM AND ALEX INDULGED IN THREE-WAY "WATERSPORTS"

Let's pray that the heron was in no way involved.

I think it's an insurance scam!

Al goes blissfully about his business, leaving those 3 bell-ends, in his residence, with no adult supervision??????

Very suspicious if you ask me.

heres me thinking this thread was CSS live in Crouch End!

I think the same people came in my house last night.

What a mess!

BIGINOIL wrote: I think the same people came in my house last night.

What a mess!

Easy way to tell if it was them.... Legge will still be there

Did they also steal your money, give you a headache and make all your friends stop talking to you? If so, I believe I may have an alternative explanation.

Doctor? wrote:

BIGINOIL wrote: I think the same people came in my house last night.

What a mess!

Easy way to tell if it was them.... Legge will still be there

lol

You cheeky cunt, cambo

AYYYYYYYYTHANKYOOOOOOO

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Leggy D wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

I'm sure Hotel Jarvis is accustomed to this kind of covering-up-the-fact-that-you-couldn't-be-arsed-to-go-to-the-toilet-for-a-piss shenanigans.

Prime suspect = Dave Legge, for flagging up the evidence in an effort to disavow his own guilt.

Mmmm. I did think long and hard before starting the thread for this very reason

But I'm certain of my actions last night, dispite being very hammered.

I awoke this morning with my boots still on and with the sleeping bag being used as a pillow. If I'd woken in the night for a lash, I'm sure I would have then taken my boots off and attempted to get in the sleeping bag.

I also woke with a bladder full enough for a five minute piss in the bog. There'd have been a full scale flood if I'd done that in the living room.

Also, if I'd pissed anywhere other than the bog, I'd have made an effort to piss on Liam's head

I can't speak for the night time actions of Alex and Liam!!

It's increasingly obvious that the glass is a red herring.

Therefore, the only viable (if unpalatable) conclusion is:

DAVE, LIAM AND ALEX INDULGED IN THREE-WAY "WATERSPORTS"

Let's pray that the heron was in no way involved.

I shudder to think

Yeah, but not as much as Dave Legge shuddered when Liam's warm yellow liquid splattered against his torso and trickled delicately down his chest etc etc etc......

I worry about you sometimes Fradders

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Yeah, but not as much as Dave Legge shuddered when Liam's warm yellow liquid splattered against his torso and trickled delicately down his chest etc etc etc......

Ever thought of writing Mills and Boons? Very impressive use of descriptive language1

Rosie wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Yeah, but not as much as Dave Legge shuddered when Liam's warm yellow liquid splattered against his torso and trickled delicately down his chest etc etc etc......

Ever thought of writing Mills and Boons?

Mills and Boon!?!?! Sounds more like a Stephen King