Hey...who the fuck said you knuckleheads could bring up the S.A.S, or the Marines, or Babyshambles???
This is my fucking thread, and we are here to discuss TWO things...the awesomeness of the word awesome, and the awesomeness of the Beckhams....so either get with it or get the fuck out...capisce???
Now, back on topic, the awesomeness that is David Beckham did not start last nights match against Chelsea, but did still manage to make himself the center of attention. And being a football god, who could blame him? He is the greatest EVER...oh wait, he's the most AWESOME soccer player ever (I forgot I was in America for a moment). 27000 people at the Home Depot center, and everyone of them was ready to shove their cellular phones up their arses due to the fact that David would not be in the starting eleven...but Becks is so incredibally AWESOME, that he COULD score a goal while on the bench. It's terrible for the world that he's going to be plying his trade here in the States, instead of in that craptacular La Liga, or The Premier League...hell, those guys over there don't even know what sport they are playing...everyone knows that football is played by pituitary defects wearing more armor than a fucking medieval knight...It's SOCCER...and it's awesome...everyone plays it...until they turn 12...
Anywho...there were all sorts of famous people at The Home Depot Center. Posh actually bothered showing up tonight, and she was with her good friend Katie Holmes-Cruise, who let daughter Suri tag along (maybe Tom was too busy cruising for cabana boys), but for some reason, the Beckham's children (Brooklyn, Manhattan and Long Island) were not in attendance. Jennifer Love-Hewitt (and her massively awesome mammaries) was there, as was Eva Longoria (but no Tony Parker...was he looking for cabana boys as well?), basketball star Kevin Garnett and the Governator were all along for the ride...I'm sure there were lots of other famous people, but those were all that I recognized...also, there was somewhere in the neighborhood of 17 billion teen-age girls in the stands who just came to look at Becks...most of them had masturbated at least three times before the match even started, that's just how freaking awesome Becks is...
Did I mention there was a soccer match last night? The first half wasn't all that interesting, and I would often find myself picking my nose, but then they would put up a shot of Becks, and I could just feel myself basking in the aura of his AWESOMENESS...and at halftime, Becks walk off the field much to the hapiness of all those who had paid at least $60 for the cheap seats...he even waved to EACH AND EVERY one of the 27000 in attendance...well, except for the two guys who dared to lave their seats early just to go to the loo...idiots!!!
It didn't take long for the action to get started in the second half, as John Terry (broken toe and all) banged one in at the 49 minute mark. It was a blistering shot, and could not have gone any faster if it had been attached to a rocket...they said it ricocheted off the post, but I think Terry actually hit the ball soooo hard, that it broke the post and then hit the back of the net...of course, by this time I had sucked down about 74 beers, so I might not have the clearest of memories...then it goes back to a fairly uneventful match...and then it happened...Becks got up and started jumping around...I thought maybe he had House of Pain on his iPod, but the announcers said that he was getting ready to come in the match...I found myself so excited by this fact that I actually...well...nevermind what I did...
Finally, the 78th minute, and the Lord of the Awesomeness comes into the match...you could see Jose Mourinho pissing his pants, as he knew his lads from Chelsea could not stand up to His Awesomeness...the rest of the LA Galaxy went for ice cream while Becks irradiated his awesomeness upon the CFC boys...and he then scored 14 goals in 12 minutes to destroy the evil minions of Roman Abramovich...and all was good in the world...
Oh, wait, that wasn't quite how it happened...the final 12 minutes were played out...I went to the freezer for a popsicle...that ginger lad from Chelsea almost broke Becks leg, well, it looked that way from how Becks rolled around on the ground like Al-Qaeda had flown a small radio controlled model airplane into his leg....the match ended, and even with the awesome play of Lord Beckham, the Galaxy could not defeat Chelsea...
Quotes from people in the crowd...
Rebecca Pavon was impressed by the electric atmosphere.
"It was pretty cool. I can't believe all the girls, mostly 20 and under, screaming for Beckham," she said. "Of course there's no age cutoff to look at handsome guys. I'm 38."
So you weren't there to watch the match?? Well, King Awesome was there...I guess you can be forgiven...
James Fast, an 11-year-old attending the game with his family, wore a No. 23 Beckham jersey and rattled off what he knew about the Galaxy's $32 million man.
"I know he was with Manchester United, then Real Madrid," said James, a soccer player himself. "He's amazing. He's going to be better than Landon Donovan."
GOING TO BE??? GOING TO BE??? Do you see the mental fucking defects that we have to put up with over here??? There is more awesomeness in one of Becks pubes than Landon Donovan will EVER EVEN HOPE to have. Somebody lop this kids head off, it's obvious that he's a moron...quick, somebody call Chris Benoit...ohhhh...I almost feel bad...but I'm sure I'll get over it quickly...
All I have to do is think of Becks...and how totally, incredibly AWESOME that he is...
AWESOME!!!!
:fliphairaround:
everything is aaawwwesoome if you let it be! Its all a frame of mind. 
:outraged:
Well I've been called somethings in the past.....BUT Fuddy Duddy?!?!?!?!!?
]
I say old chap this thread is splendid
