Yer top 5 NON crap things about Britain

Well it's only right we think about the positives:

The English Countryside - outstanding, especially with the weather we've been having recently.

British Music

British Fashion

The Roads - when not congested admittedly, but they are the best roads in the world

Manners - thankfully there's still a lot about

People, History, Music, Style, Weather.

The British sense of humour

Mr Blobby Cliff Richard Harvester Restaurants The Legal System The Sun

British fashion???

Isn't it American way to brag about your own nation so openly?

1. Rock music
2. Humour
3. Celebrities crossing over to the US
4. History
5. Literature

cozzie doesn't live here

Northern birds...

You gorra love 'em.

1. we saved Europe from Fascism
2. culture, arts, literature, music
3. the inventions
4. England
5. HM the Queen

OOOH OOOH OOOH...

AND

I forgot.

You can call Japanese people 'Japs' without being jumped on.

Me Music Sport Beer Chippies

1. New Order
2. F1
3. BBC
4. Railways on mainland (provencial envy that)
5. My mate Jemmie (how's that for arse kissing)

Missy Jem wrote:

Manners - thankfully there's still a lot about

While the English enjoy the image of very polite, sometimes offish, people, the truth is they are rather wild abroad. If someone's ever been to Thailand, Turkey, Spain, the loudest and craziest people turn out to be the English. So far this is a second source.

Here are my 5 NON crap things about Britain:

1. Music.
2. Fashion.
3. Architecture.
4. Inclination to adventure.
5. Unlikeness.

Weird seasons British Radio/TV Queuing Bonfire Night Airports

1. good public transportation
2. the scottish highlands
3. london
4. much better music than the US
5. electric kettles (not at all popular over here)

Burt Reynolds wrote: OOOH OOOH OOOH...

AND

I forgot.

You can call Japanese people 'Japs' without being jumped on.

I should take a sheep, very similar to your avatar, and hurl it to your head.

1. Music
2. Manchester United
3. Beer
4. literature
5. Women

[magenta]cozmonite61[/magenta] wrote:

Burt Reynolds wrote: OOOH OOOH OOOH...

AND

I forgot.

You can call Japanese people 'Japs' without being jumped on.

I should take a sheep, very similar to your avatar, and hurl it to your head.

I've seen you say "brit", same thing dafty!

What about if it were written as....

Jap'

Clearly showing it as an abrieviation?

Anyway I forgot.....

BRITISH SCIENCE FICTION!!!!!!!!

yous can rap yer fuckin star trek up yer fuckin bangle, give me Clarke and Wells any day (ok Asimov wasn't ours, but who needs robots eh? (sorry Isaac I'm joking))

Charlotte Church Mike Parry Spice Girls Trevor Macdonald Chips

lamb

Server Error in "/" Application wrote: British fashion???

I'll second that. There is no british fashion. Except maybe Paul Smith its all shite.

get yer feet measured for these mate. got a pair down Greaty market on Saturday.

King John Honest John wrote: get yer feet measured for these mate. got a pair down Greaty market on Saturday.

Croc's? Dont ever wear them in public John FFS!

Scotland

thats about it...

darran clarke wrote:

1. we saved Europe from Fascism
2. culture, arts, literature, music
3. the inventions
4. England
5. HM the Queen

Er...

1 With the help of millions of Americans, Russians, canadians, French, Yugoslavians, and most of the rest of non-Nazi Europe.

2 Culture? Have you watched TV and read the newspapers recently? (OK to literature and music)

3 Which inventions in particular?

4 This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Little Englanders F*ck off

5 The Queen- Hang her high! Parasitic drain on our nation. As are the rest of the "Royals"

1. Humour
2. Music
3. History
4. Sheffield
5. Me

The beer in Britain is crap compared to other countries in Europe.

how come you never see a massive kick-off in these Munchen Oktoberfest beer halls. always wondered that. is the beer not fighting gear?

Tis stronger than a pint of Carling or Carlsberg. Noticed when I was Germany they don't really gulp the beer down like we do in the UK.

Snoopy wrote: Tis stronger than a pint of Carling or Carlsberg. Noticed when I was Germany they don't really gulp the beer down like we do in the UK.

that's weird. what do they do with it then? I only gulp to save it going flat.

They just seem to drink at a slower pace. In the beerhalls they serve it in those big tankards which hold rougly 2 and a half pints. I beat it into me though, their beer is really quite easy to drink.

Snoopy wrote: They just seem to drink at a slower pace. In the beerhalls they serve it in those big tankards which hold rougly 2 and a half pints. I beat it into me though, their beer is really quite easy to drink.

2.5 pints in one go. how come no one does big milky-white spew-ups outside the hall then?

and how do those Heidi's carry all them tankards? that's pretty amazing really.

Doctor? wrote:

[magenta]cozmonite61[/magenta] wrote:

Burt Reynolds wrote: OOOH OOOH OOOH...

AND

I forgot.

You can call Japanese people 'Japs' without being jumped on.

I should take a sheep, very similar to your avatar, and hurl it to your head.

I've seen you say "brit", same thing dafty!

What about if it were written as....

Jap'

Clearly showing it as an abrieviation?

Anyway I forgot.....

BRITISH SCIENCE FICTION!!!!!!!!

yous can rap yer fuckin star trek up yer fuckin bangle, give me Clarke and Wells any day (ok Asimov wasn't ours, but who needs robots eh? (sorry Isaac I'm joking))

I checked a dictionary on argument on abbreviations. Brit is not disparaging, however Jap is. Go check at www.m-w.com.

Since I'm still here paying taxes, and not living somewhere just for the weather, I must like something, so;

1;football matches 2;Fashion (Paul smith) 3;gigs 4;british-indian food 5;british comedy

Royser wrote: Since I'm still here paying taxes, and not living somewhere just for the weather, I must like something, so;

1;football matches 2;Fashion (Paul smith) 3;gigs 4;british-indian food 5;british comedy

Can anyone even put a face to that Paul smith fella? I'd say that other fella "George" has had a much bigger impact than Paul Smith on "Fashion". especially cheap bras and knickers.

Looks like Peter Saville (hair anyway) if i recall.

British fashion is crap, bet hardly anyone here wears much with a british label. All the old brands have gone shite.

Music Literature History Humour The countryside

King John Honest John wrote:

Snoopy wrote: They just seem to drink at a slower pace. In the beerhalls they serve it in those big tankards which hold rougly 2 and a half pints. I beat it into me though, their beer is really quite easy to drink.

2.5 pints in one go. how come no one does big milky-white spew-ups outside the hall then?

Cos theyre no lightweight English drinkers

(in any order)

1. Ian Curtis
2. Peter Hook
3. Bernard Sumner
4. Steve Morris
5. Gillian Gilbert

Indeed*!*

Sub-Cultured*!* wrote: (in any order)

1. Ian Curtis
2. Peter Hook
3. Bernard Sumner
4. Steve Morris
5. Gillian Gilbert

Indeed*!*

sad bastard

Dark, foggy, sinister November nights

Sam the Stokie wrote: History

History?

Doesn't every nation have history?

Gazfella wrote:

King John Honest John wrote:

Snoopy wrote: They just seem to drink at a slower pace. In the beerhalls they serve it in those big tankards which hold rougly 2 and a half pints. I beat it into me though, their beer is really quite easy to drink.

2.5 pints in one go. how come no one does big milky-white spew-ups outside the hall then?

Cos theyre no lightweight English drinkers

[magenta]cozmonite61[/magenta] wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

[magenta]cozmonite61[/magenta] wrote:

Burt Reynolds wrote: OOOH OOOH OOOH...

AND

I forgot.

You can call Japanese people 'Japs' without being jumped on.

I should take a sheep, very similar to your avatar, and hurl it to your head.

I've seen you say "brit", same thing dafty!

What about if it were written as....

Jap'

Clearly showing it as an abrieviation?

Anyway I forgot.....

BRITISH SCIENCE FICTION!!!!!!!!

yous can rap yer fuckin star trek up yer fuckin bangle, give me Clarke and Wells any day (ok Asimov wasn't ours, but who needs robots eh? (sorry Isaac I'm joking))

I checked a dictionary on argument on abbreviations. Brit is not disparaging, however Jap is. Go check at www.m-w.com.

Well, your dictionary is wrong.

"dirty brit" "brit scum" "brits out" "kill all brits"

all common enough phrases in parts of NI.

El Jarvo wrote:

RichShan wrote: 4 This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Little Englanders F*ck off

Who gives a fuck about the Union?! You orange cnuts can fcuk off too!

A Big Englander!

There are orangemen in Wales?

El Jarvo wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

El Jarvo wrote:

RichShan wrote: 4 This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Little Englanders F*ck off

Who gives a fuck about the Union?! You orange cnuts can fcuk off too!

A Big Englander!

There are orangemen in Wales?

You lot get everywhere!

The thread was about Britain. I don't think it's necessary to call anyone "Little Englanders" because there wasn't a reference to the Union anywhere.

No no no, it's you cafflicks what get everywhere, breedin like bunnies

Agreed though that none of yous had actually claimed Engerland as the whole UK.

I was thinking, you need to hang on to NI....it's now The Empire (The Empire on which the rain never fuckin gives it a rest)

RichShan wrote:

darran clarke wrote:

1. we saved Europe from Fascism
2. culture, arts, literature, music
3. the inventions
4. England
5. HM the Queen

Er...

1 With the help of millions of Americans, Russians, canadians, French, Yugoslavians, and most of the rest of non-Nazi Europe. Err...the US didnt enter the war until its national interest was threatened in 1942, the french gave up after 5 mins, Croats from yugoslavia fought alongside the nazis, the russians carved up eastern poland with Hitlers blessing as part of the non-aggression pact 2 Culture? Have you watched TV and read the newspapers recently? (OK to literature and music) Err... did I mention TV? 3 Which inventions in particular? how about... calculus, the steam engine, the steam locomotive, the computer, the hovercraft, the anvil, the first iron bridge, the jet engine, the industrial revolution, DNA, the lead pencil, the flushing toilet, logarithms, the condom, the sandwich, vaccination, miners lamp, suspension bridge, the lawnmower, the fax machine, postage stamps 4 This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Little Englanders F*ck off I would hope that the welsh, irish, & scots are equally proud of their own countries above Britain. Have you ever wondered why there isnt a UK national football team?

5 The Queen- Hang her high! Parasitic drain on our nation. As are the rest of the "Royals"

We invented America too, so we can take the credit for anything they've done anyway

Doctor? wrote: We invented America too, so we can take the credit for anything they've done anyway

Good point

Top five list, eh (I was notorious for these in my halcyon days):

5.) Tony Wilson (rip), without him wouldn't have had Factory

4.) Monty Python

3.) The Union Jack

2.) John Keats

1.) The Beatles

Chris Nash wrote: Just to pick up on one earlier point... we didn't invent condoms - the Egyptians and Abyssinians were using them several thousand years ago - made from goats' bladders, stomach linings and even wood (owch)

And no one 'invented' DNA - well, unless you believe the happy clappy god-squadders - the discovery of various aspects, yes

true, the ancients did make them out of the materials you describe. However, the oldest surviving condom came from the foundations of Dudley castle and dates back to the 1600's.This is not the first condom, but it is the first that we can be sure existed.

Of course no-one invented DNA (God did !) but it was first discovered by an Englishman. I should have been clearer in my rant.

darran clarke wrote: 5) HM the Queen

You actually like the fucking Queen??? Fuck me, I thought everyone hated those royal cnuts...

darran clarke wrote:

Chris Nash wrote: Just to pick up on one earlier point... we didn't invent condoms - the Egyptians and Abyssinians were using them several thousand years ago - made from goats' bladders, stomach linings and even wood (owch)

And no one 'invented' DNA - well, unless you believe the happy clappy god-squadders - the discovery of various aspects, yes

true, the ancients did make them out of the materials you describe. However, the oldest surviving condom came from the foundations of Dudley castle and dates back to the 1600's.This is not the first condom, but it is the first that we can be sure existed.

Yeah I think I've still got it in my wallet.

Nick King wrote:

darran clarke wrote: 5) HM the Queen

You actually like the fucking Queen??? Fuck me, I thought everyone hated those royal cnuts...

I have no personal love or hate of Liz (some of the rest of them though, fuck's sake, what twats), but it seems to me that however much the civil list costs, the country makes 5 times that back from fat stupid American tourists flocking to "Britain in England to see King Elizabeth". Not to mention the ecconomy stoking potential of a million magazines full of pointless shots of corgies and Fergie's arse (sorry to Chris Nash, I know he hates orange apes), snapped up by...well I dunno by whom...Darran maybe?

El Jarvo wrote:

RichShan wrote: 4 This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Little Englanders F*ck off

Who gives a fuck about the Union?! You orange cnuts can fcuk off too!

A Big Englander!

No Orange or other sectarian nonsense here, Al

And while I know that the thread was about Britain a mention of England as one of the best things about it just wound me up a bit- hence the point about the Union... England these days is really little else other than a collection of (variously unsuccessful) sports teams. I'm not sure that there is a distinctly English culture these days? Just me maybe. And the Little Englander comment wasn't aimed at anyone- just trying to be a bit provocative. Apologies if any offence has been caused.

RichShan wrote:

El Jarvo wrote:

RichShan wrote: 4 This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Little Englanders F*ck off

Who gives a fuck about the Union?! You orange cnuts can fcuk off too!

A Big Englander!

No Orange or other sectarian nonsense here, Al

It's all fun and games until someone gets nailbombed ;)

Beer Cricket Sausages Oxford Country pubs

Snorri xxx

darran clarke wrote:

RichShan wrote:

darran clarke wrote:

1. we saved Europe from Fascism
2. culture, arts, literature, music
3. the inventions
4. England
5. HM the Queen

Er...

1 With the help of millions of Americans, Russians, canadians, French, Yugoslavians, and most of the rest of non-Nazi Europe. Err...the US didnt enter the war until its national interest was threatened in 1942, the french gave up after 5 mins, Croats from yugoslavia fought alongside the nazis, the russians carved up eastern poland with Hitlers blessing as part of the non-aggression pact 2 Culture? Have you watched TV and read the newspapers recently? (OK to literature and music) Err... did I mention TV? 3 Which inventions in particular? how about... calculus, the steam engine, the steam locomotive, the computer, the hovercraft, the anvil, the first iron bridge, the jet engine, the industrial revolution, DNA, the lead pencil, the flushing toilet, logarithms, the condom, the sandwich, vaccination, miners lamp, suspension bridge, the lawnmower, the fax machine, postage stamps 4 This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Little Englanders F*ck off I would hope that the welsh, irish, & scots are equally proud of their own countries above Britain. Have you ever wondered why there isnt a UK national football team?

5 The Queen- Hang her high! Parasitic drain on our nation. As are the rest of the "Royals"

Just a note a bout a few of the "inventions" claimed as British... The Suspension Bridge and the anvil are probably as old as history itself. The anvil has certainly been used since the Bronze age. British? Not sure. Same for Susupension Bridge...

And the Industrial Revolution isn't really an "invention" as such, more a result of the movement towards factories. And as to whether it's something to be proud of, well, read EP Thompsons The Making of the English Working Class... And many others who agitated and fought to overcome the virtual slavery this change engendered.

King John Honest John wrote:

Royser wrote: Since I'm still here paying taxes, and not living somewhere just for the weather, I must like something, so;

1;football matches 2;Fashion (Paul smith) 3;gigs 4;british-indian food 5;british comedy

Can anyone even put a face to that Paul smith fella? I'd say that other fella "George" has had a much bigger impact than Paul Smith on "Fashion". especially cheap bras and knickers.

ha, I don't know.... I get him and paul weller mixed up :)

i forgot one: universal health care. you may have to wait months for an MRI, but at least you don't have to pay an arm and a leg for it.

Buffy wrote: i forgot one: universal health care. you may have to wait months for an MRI, but at least you don't have to pay an arm and a leg for it.

Especially if you are waiting a long time for leprosy results.