Answers please?

ask sHUG!

Gobi itch mate.Basically Athlete's foot but around yer knackers.Get some Daktarin cream for it pronto else yer skin will start falling off!! Had it myself once in the hot summer of 95.Nasty business.

Cause of the carol, "Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire."

NOOLigan wrote: Cause of the carol, "Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire."

NICE

crabs feasting on your chestnuts?

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Why do my nuts itch, and why is it a burning itch?

Shy, quiet, retiring boy our Jeff, isn't he! Try no setting your baw hair on fire mate!

Naw but seriously:

johnny wrote: Gobi itch mate.Basically Athlete's foot but around yer knackers.Get some Daktarin cream for it pronto .

aye its probably a harmless (although annoying) infection, nowt to worry about. Ask your pharmacist or your Doc, and it'll be cleared up in nae time.

Could be passed from a woman.

Could be jock itch. Or maybe you have a yeast infection.

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Could be jock itch. Or maybe you have a yeast infection.

Aye, right: It could also be damn Yank itch! Or maybe a yogurt infection.

BTW Yogurt can act as a cure for certain infections, try spreading some natural (not coloured/no added ingredients) yogurt over and about the infected area.

It may well help, and what's the worst that can happen?

Should I tell you that burning ball itch is one of the announcements my little problem makes before going full throttle.

BTW....don't worry if yer sack swells up to fuck. First time mine went I was DISTRAUGHT. Dr laughed and told me the swelling was because my body felt the same way about my nuts as I did and was sacrificing the health of my scrote (only re-growable skin after all) to keep the little fellas safe.

What a load of bollocks.

(See what I did there?)

Do I win £40?

BIGINOIL wrote: What a load of bollocks.

(See what I did there?)

Do I win £40?

Yes indeed you do, but there's also the matter of a £40 fine for making a REALLY obvious joke in a built up forum during the hours of daylight.

So you're quits I think.

Yes but the obvious application of a poor, innapropriate joke was the joke. I therefore claim my £40, a refund of the £40 fine which was missaplied and a further £40 in comensation for defamation and that.

So that's, err, £40 please

Despite popular belief, stinging nettle is NOT a good lubricant for wanking off Jeff....

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

So my cherry flavoured yogurt by yoplait is NOT the answer???

"yoplait" Wit ra fucks dat?

No. 24hour non-stop shagging while consuming huge quantities of class A's is the answer!

Bit wits dat goat tay day way yer itchy ba's?

PS:How's the reading of phonetic Scots coming along?

i give this thread five stars for making me spit up coffee.

and dont ask mewhatimdoing in this thread.i havea crackhead keyboard that doesnt FUNKTION well,a postman that needs a can of ass whip let out on him inthe form of a irate dog,i like HEARing men talk about getting kicked in thir balls and losing all thier hair from there,and i have AN oddBALL sense of humor. ithink itsthe latter.

omg.

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

MIMX wrote:

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Could be jock itch. Or maybe you have a yeast infection.

Aye, right: It could also be damn Yank itch! Or maybe a yogurt infection.

BTW Yogurt can act as a cure for certain infections, try spreading some natural (not coloured/no added ingredients) yogurt over and about the infected area.

It may well help, and what's the worst that can happen?

So my cherry flavoured yogurt by yoplait is NOT the answer???

NO

Mmmmmmm Danone!

Animadversion wrote: ,i like HEARing men talk about getting kicked in thir balls and losing all thier hair from there,and i have AN oddBALL sense of humor. ithink itsthe latter.

omg.

I got kicked in the balls at school once by a girl.Can't remember what i'd said to ignite her fury but it fcukin hurt!.I didn't flinch at the time of course, so to make out i was dead hard n that (pun not intended).Then scurried round the back of the gymnasium and doubled up in agony :ouchyerbitch!:

Bumped in to her in a shop a few years back and she was dead friendly and possibly dare i say it even flirty!

johnny wrote:

Animadversion wrote: ,i like HEARing men talk about getting kicked in thir balls and losing all thier hair from there,and i have AN oddBALL sense of humor. ithink itsthe latter.

omg.

I got kicked in the balls at school once by a girl.Can't remember what i'd said to ignite her fury but it fcukin hurt!.I didn't flinch at the time of course, so to make out i was dead hard n that (pun not intended).Then scurried round the back of the gymnasium and doubled up in agony :ouchyerbitch!:

Bumped in to her in a shop a few years back and she was dead friendly and possibly dare i say it even flirty!

Perhaps she wanted to lick your balls Johnny!

Bird once hit me on the head with a white stilletto when we were in the 2nd year. :bitch:

Gave her a black eye for her trouble,only asked if i could suck her tits!

Aye , i know a couple of lads that have received the white stilleto on head bashing.Nasty

wrote:

johnny wrote:

Animadversion wrote: ,i like HEARing men talk about getting kicked in thir balls and losing all thier hair from there,and i have AN oddBALL sense of humor. ithink itsthe latter.

omg.

I got kicked in the balls at school once by a girl.Can't remember what i'd said to ignite her fury but it fcukin hurt!.I didn't flinch at the time of course, so to make out i was dead hard n that (pun not intended).Then scurried round the back of the gymnasium and doubled up in agony :ouchyerbitch!:

Bumped in to her in a shop a few years back and she was dead friendly and possibly dare i say it even flirty!

Perhaps she wanted to lick your balls Johnny!

Bird once hit me on the head with a white stilletto when we were in the 2nd year. :bitch:

Gave her a black eye for her trouble,only asked if i could suck her tits!

My wife has a nice control over her temper when she's a wee bit upset... had a salt shaker, 24" Box Fan, butcher knives, full wine bottles, remotes, among many other things thrown in my direction... will say it sure does keep me on my toes

EdelBrock wrote:

wrote:

johnny wrote:

Animadversion wrote: ,i like HEARing men talk about getting kicked in thir balls and losing all thier hair from there,and i have AN oddBALL sense of humor. ithink itsthe latter.

omg.

I got kicked in the balls at school once by a girl.Can't remember what i'd said to ignite her fury but it fcukin hurt!.I didn't flinch at the time of course, so to make out i was dead hard n that (pun not intended).Then scurried round the back of the gymnasium and doubled up in agony :ouchyerbitch!:

Bumped in to her in a shop a few years back and she was dead friendly and possibly dare i say it even flirty!

Perhaps she wanted to lick your balls Johnny!

Bird once hit me on the head with a white stilletto when we were in the 2nd year. :bitch:

Gave her a black eye for her trouble,only asked if i could suck her tits!

My wife has a nice control over her temper when she's a wee bit upset... had a salt shaker, 24" Box Fan, butcher knives, full wine bottles, remotes, among many other things thrown in my direction... will say it sure does keep me on my toes

My wife is a furious bird, too. She throws at me anything by her side: calculators, clocks, books... I'm just afraid one day she'll throw off my entire CD stand or hit the turntable or stereo... Always keep her away from that area. If my NO collection is destroyed it's an automatic divorce.

Here's a t-shirt for Christmas Jeff

Now piss off..... we're talking about violent women/wives

Sure you could get her to bake you a pie, but have you ever seen 'Sixth Sense'? Floor cleaner takes its time you know.... I prefer working on my dance moves, over wondering what has been put in me pie

Mimx wrote:

PS:How's the reading of phonetic Scots coming along?

It's as irritating as Jeff's scabby knackers must be,seeing as yer asking

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

Animadversion wrote: i give this thread five stars for making me spit up coffee.

and dont ask mewhatimdoing in this thread.i havea crackhead keyboard that doesnt FUNKTION well,a postman that needs a can of ass whip let out on him inthe form of a irate dog,i like HEARing men talk about getting kicked in thir balls and losing all thier hair from there,and i have AN oddBALL sense of humor. ithink itsthe latter.

omg.

Would you like to shave my balls???

no but i'd like to see martha stewart hit you with a broom.

Animadversion wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

Animadversion wrote: i give this thread five stars for making me spit up coffee.

and dont ask mewhatimdoing in this thread.i havea crackhead keyboard that doesnt FUNKTION well,a postman that needs a can of ass whip let out on him inthe form of a irate dog,i like HEARing men talk about getting kicked in thir balls and losing all thier hair from there,and i have AN oddBALL sense of humor. ithink itsthe latter.

omg.

Would you like to shave my balls???

no but i'd like to see martha stewart hit you with a broom.

Martha is a clean housekeeper.