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Shug wrote:
Gazman wrote:
Gazman wrote: Two cows in a field,which one has foot and mouth...
..the one thats on fire
I'll be about most of the day
Shug wrote: Two cows in a field.
Which one has foot and mouth?
The one that's on fire.
BOOM BOOM.
I know its good Shug...
..but no that good
Where you down the pub with me on Friday
Any of yer mates on CM 
A blonde wanted to go ice fish ing. She'd seen many Books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary Tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to Make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, A voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, Poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet Another hole.
Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde, now worried, moved away clear down to The opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once More and tried again to cut a hole.
The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied, " NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK."
Mike Ashley sees an old lady struggling across a zebra crossing with two heavy shopping bags.
Ashley " Can you manage love?"
Old dear " Fcuk off, I don't want the job!"
A New Zealander is walking along a lane with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who asks "are you sheerin' mate?"
and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Yesterday, my stomach was rumbling for some nachos. So I got in the car and drove to the local grocer. Picked up my favorite bag of Santistas white corn chips, salsa, refried bees, black olives... and I stood in front of the cheese section holding a block of cheese with a bewildered look on my face, when the grocer walked by and stated, "That's nacho cheese!"
So I put it back and went home.... damn I'm hungry...
