The Sun - First for News

Tons of useless headlines on all the other newspapers down in the sweet shop in out office this morning, but none of them covered the real story of the day.

Except one...

Only the Sun carries the exclusive news that Mel B from the Spice Girls has grown her diddies a bit.

The headline?

MEL DOUBLE D

God bless my Mum and Dad and my teachers at school for teaching me to read so I could learn this news today.

Of course, being the sun, it's not actually necessary to be able to read. There's a picture of the orbs in question, and no doubt more inside.

Who needs to be able to read...

Id be on top of her til the neighbours complained about the smell

Gazman wrote:

A spice Girl's boobs yesterday...

id drink her pee!

FAF these days scary is !

Very impressive,we almost had a camel toe there

Nice work she did upstairs... but something tells me she has a hole in her plumbing downstairs that needs to be plugged.

EdelBrock wrote: Nice work she did upstairs... but something tells me she has a hole in her plumbing downstairs that needs to be plugged.

I wouldnt mind 'plugging' it for her

Gazman wrote:

EdelBrock wrote: Nice work she did upstairs... but something tells me she has a hole in her plumbing downstairs that needs to be plugged.

I wouldnt mind 'plugging' it for her

yer in luck, upon further inspection there may be two holes to be plugged, plus one upstairs. Any more takers?

Fucking marvellous, isn't it?

I'm trying to make a point about the facile nature of the nations gutter press and all you lot can do is go FWOARRRR and lower yourself to their level.

I hope you're all joking, if for no other reason than you ought to be setting your sights somewhat higher than this Mel B; a woman who's only redeeming quality is that her awful looks, dreadful personality and sustained gender betrayal has distracted the public from her utter lack of talent for so long that she's managed to get herself a bit rich.

I'd wonder what her arse looks like. A little chocolate-coated peach, I bet

What are you talking about Biggie? That's real news! Not some politics slot or cry over human rights...