Cockney Rhyming Slang

For anyone visiting London this summer you'll have to get up to scratch with your rhyming slang when you are chatting to the locals.. here's a few tips to get you started;

Apples n Stairs = Chairs Frog n Road = Toad Dicky Shirts = Hurts Chips n Gravy = I'm a Northern Twat Taxi cab - There's been a serious sexual assault! Rats and Mice = Tactical Thermonuclear Device Mustard and cress = High-Speed Downlink Packet Access Swiss = Shit at everything Danny La Rue = Fucking nonce

Hope this comes in handy..anyone in the know should add to this list.

lol...wtf...

that ian dury bloke was a rasberry ripple

Ally wrote: Don't forget "He's a right James Blunt".

Yep James Blunt = Bash his head in with a house brick! Cheers for adding Ally

banshee wrote: that ian dury bloke was a rasberry ripple

You are right Banshee, and he is dead..oop's I mean

Brown Bread = A local delicacy lightly toasted and served with a topping of wild mushrooms sauteed in virgin olive oil, with shavings of black truffle.

They eat this like it's going out of business in Bermodsey!

My mate Fred peppers his everyday conversations with some class rhyming slang. A few favourites.

'Ah fell comin down the stairs and went on ma Gareth Hunt'

'Wouldnae mind getting intae her Barry Grants'

'I'm just gonna jump in for a quick David Gower'

'The dirty cow left a snails trail all down the leg of ma Callard & Bowsers'

That last comment did genuinely leave his lips during the course of one of his stories.

I used to record him via the built in voice recorder in my old Nokia without him knowing and play it back to folk. Comedy gold!

Ethels = Ethel Meekers = speakers : she was the next door neighbour in Rentaghost incase you've never watched any 80's uk kids tv.

Stuart = stuart maconie = phoney ; ahh the irony..

Its all gone Pete Tong = Its all gone wrong

Farmer Giles - A fellow of the countryside who takes his tractor into town and gets a £180 fine because he's too simple to understand the Congestion Charge.

Not to be confused with Johnny Giles who is someone totally different

"We're in deep Barney" [Blank stares] "Rubble!" [Blank stares] "Trouble!"