Potatoes in the news

Vicar hospitalized with potato up his bum

A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story."

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

Last one must've been Morrissey...

I heard a cracking story about a man with a vibrator up his arse from a nurse who was in theatre when they pulled it out (through his STOMACH :barf: )

When they asked him how it got there, he shouted HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT GOT THERE I WAS FUCKING MYSELF WITH IT GET IT OUT.

By all accounts, it had started to smart somewhat.

When they pulled it out, all the nurses refused to touch it so it lay in the steel tray, vibrating away while the poor bloke was sewn up. Finally, someone decided to tackle it, but succeed in opening it and throwing the batteries on the floor. As they rolled past the surgeon, he noted that they were of a particular copper-topped brand renowned for their long-lasting properties. It's a good job we pulled it out, he dryly noted, it would have been going for some time.

Enjoy your lunch everyone

wish i still had the photo of an x-ray showing a vibrator stuck up way inside someone, plus the salad tongs that got also stuck trying to pull out the vibrator.

Just to clarify two things.......

1. Commie....was there any evidence the spud had been cooked prior to it's adventures?

2. Colin, do you really mean "stomach", as in the specific digestive organ located way up under the ribs, or did you use the word "stomach" as a placeholder for "tummy", or "lower abdominal area". Cos if it's the former, the plastic pal will have made a journey of many MANY feet, indeed a trek which would earn the respects of Lemmywinks.

Chris Nash wrote:

A note to all - if you want to play with sex toys, follow the instructions and warnings and NEVER let go of them!

What? EVER??????

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Vicar hospitalized with potato up his bum

A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story."

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

Doesn't surprise me at all,they're a bit wierd folk from Sheffield!

Fookin dee dars!

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Last one must've been Morrissey...

The Big Puff

Gotta love this comment:

"Would this potato count as one of his 'five a day' ?- Steve, Birmingham"

Dodjem wrote:

Chris Nash wrote:

A note to all - if you want to play with sex toys, follow the instructions and warnings and NEVER let go of them!

What? EVER??????

bless you Chris for continuing to spread your knowledge....

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: Vicar hospitalized with potato up his bum

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

What?....a TIN of CARNATION?????

Doctor? wrote: ...do you really mean "stomach", as in the specific digestive organ located way up under the ribs...

Sorry, I just meant that they dug it out from the front of his body, rather than pulling it back out of his poop.

Not for the queasy, and probably best unseen by everyone, but of a similar situation

potatoes-n-jelly

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: now Burt, in the interest of fair play and all that mess, could you please post a piccie of a potato that looks like a vagina????

Feminist Wimmin are always bitching about phallic rockets, and phallic cars and all.

Can you IMAGINE a minge-shaped F1 car? Think of the noise on the straights!!!!

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: now Burt, in the interest of fair play and all that mess, could you please post a piccie of a potato that looks like a vagina????

click here

Burt Reynolds wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: now Burt, in the interest of fair play and all that mess, could you please post a piccie of a potato that looks like a vagina????

click here

bloody hell bert,that spud has got a sexual disease

These people really should go to class here to get the specifics and to keep up with safety standards...