New Shed Song

SHED FAITH

I feel so extraordinary The shed’s been erected for me I get this feeling I’m in Homebase A sudden sense of half price sales

That's the price we like to pay I’ve got my rake and you’ve got my money Now I can tend my allotment In the sun before it gets too hot

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

When I was a very small boy Very small boys talked to me Now were showing prize onions together It’s the place we want to be

It’s first prize we all crave Our prized onions wins nothing I don't know just where it’s going I guess I’ll get some more growing

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

When I was a very small boy Very small boys talked to me Now were showing prize onions together It’s the place we want to be

It’s first prize we all crave Our prized onions wins nothing I don't know just where it’s going I guess I’ll get some more growing

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

I used to think that the spring would never come Id plant a seed in the shade of the morning sun The morning sun is the drug that germinates The seed, the bulb and shrub by the gate I used to think that the spring would never come That my patch would be like Snorrimon(s)

Log Vigilantes :

Oh I saw you In the mega store B and Q I was Buying a chainsaw To cut some logs To use that I’m so brave Heating bills I will save With my kindling and logs And some help from matches I want to see my log burner My cracking wood waiting for me I've got to go home To warm through by the stove

You just can't believe The logs I did produce When I finally got my saw And I was chopping wood Oh It felt so good my bills could not lie For my stove I would die And I will see it soon I want to see my log burner My cracking wood waiting for me I've got to go home To warm through by the stove

When I walked through the door My wife she lay upon the floor Her legs were red and sore She got to close to the stove Then I looked into her hand And I saw the receipt She said that I got great deal on the saw But that I didn’t take extended warranty I want to see my log burner My cracking wood waiting for me I've got to go home To warm through by the stove

Good work, Mike!

I think I may just be able to squeeze one in before the pub...

Snorri xxx

I turn sideways to my shed keep my forks from everyone its a jungle that i keep and my patio needs a sweep

and im stepping out of wickes cos homebase prices are all fixed and i might just get a lathe but ive no passion for DIY today

thats the prices of sheds can you fill it if we could buy one now how long will it last

and when this building is on fire save the work tools that you hire i turn pages of the sun and see b&q have a sale on

thats the prices of sheds can you fill it if we could build one now how long will it last

if we could build one now how long will it last if we could build one now how long will it last

Wow - that's is sublime :)

Snorrimon wrote: Good work, Mike!

I think I may just be able to squeeze one in before the pub...

Snorri xxx

Nope... Pub won... :beer2:

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote:

Snorrimon wrote: Good work, Mike!

I think I may just be able to squeeze one in before the pub...

Snorri xxx

Nope... Pub won... :beer2:

Snorri xxx

mmmm have to question your shed status

Tomorrow I got a reworking called "touched by a shed I got".

If there's a demand and people aren't sick of this :(

Touched by the shed I got

I was standing by the checkout when I saw a shed I couldn't look at you I guess I knew it but I never realised That this was B&Q And now I'm down and all alone with every garden gnome I own You can't take that away And with every lawn we rake and the shelf improvements that we make Will fall down someday

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

I never got to buy the things in homebase that I wanted too Because everything I own is a shed without a view And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before

NO Regret wrote: Touched by the shed I got

I was standing by the checkout when I saw a shed I couldn't look at you I guess I knew it but I never realised That this was B&Q And now I'm down and all alone with every garden gnome I own You can't take that away And with every lawn we rake and the shelf improvements that we make Will fall down someday

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

I never got to buy the things in homebase that I wanted too Because everything I own is a shed without a view And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before

Excellent work, maybe change the 2nd line to I just went in for glue. cos you always end up buying something WAY MORE EXPENSIVE than what you went in for, I do any way.

NO Regret wrote:

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

Im sitting in work and burst out laughing at that

Folk were looking at me as im daft!

Jed Stephens wrote:

NO Regret wrote: Touched by the shed I got

I was standing by the checkout when I saw a shed I couldn't look at you I guess I knew it but I never realised That this was B&Q And now I'm down and all alone with every garden gnome I own You can't take that away And with every lawn we rake and the shelf improvements that we make Will fall down someday

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

I never got to buy the things in homebase that I wanted too Because everything I own is a shed without a view And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before But then I've never woken up on my sheds floor like this before

And I was touched by the shed I got I never use it but it had 50% off

And I've never looked at sheds in a sexual way in my life before

Excellent work, maybe change the 2nd line to I just went in for glue. cos you always end up buying something WAY MORE EXPENSIVE than what you went in for, I do any way.

Anyone is welcome to adapt lyrics for their own amusement.

Is there a market for a New Shed Order tour and album?

Oh dear, I got another one brewing. I'll start it off. Anyone can jump in

Shedculture

I like watering my plants When it gets late at night I sit in sheds all day And leave with mozzie bites

"Sheds Even Here"

Those weeds which seem to last a lifetime While I plant seeds with care The day begins, with ivy climbing It’souta sight, on the roof up there

No ladders to climb, there’s bloody more daily Spiders live inside Deeper within, beyond the damp proof You see the damage , now make it die

In my shed, space is becoming clearer I've tidied up and moved the rake Counting seeds deep in germination A green thumb a garden make

Paradise (SHED)

If we went to town, we could look in Wicks together If the price is down, I will get some grass seed for yer I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it

If we could find a shed, we could get the new mower Or we could build our own, cultivate the world forever There's no seed that we can't grow There's a greenhouse I have seen There's no limit to what i can sow There's no level rockery Charlie (Dimmock), I could have seen you there, Charlie, I need you everywhere I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it

Charlie, I could have seen you there When I looked at you’re big tits, I saw them everywhere There's no place where you can hide em Everywhere I look I see em Don’t hide em away, don’t be mean There's a reason I have seen em

If you find my produce grown, you could sell on the farm forever Shall we leave our tomatos alone, or maybe to the neighbour give her Charlie, I could've seen your boobs When I looked at your big tits, I saw them everywhere I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it I want a lawn, I want a lawn, I’ll weed it, I’ll weed it

Shedculture

I like watering the plants When it gets late at night I mow round in the dark Rake leaves till mozzies bite I dig the ground by day Tidy up my old drain pipe These crazy weeds of mine So long they could be vines

What do I get out of wickes I never buy what’s on my list One if these days you'll go back to your shed You won't even notice your gardens a mess One of these days when you put up your shelf Your realise you can't screw without someone's help In the end you will submit its got to work with a little (drill) bit

I like talking as I sweep The drive and up the path Power tools aren’t so cheap And sometimes leave you a scar A shed without a view Unveils a leaking roof And when the sun goes down You've lost what you have done

What do I get out of wickes I never buy what's on my list One if these days you'll go back to homebase You won't even notice that you bought a gate One of these days when you do-it- yourself Your realise you can't grass without laying seeds first In the end you will cement you’ve got to fix that broken fence

Murder

Hoes! Hoes! Hoes! I hate them!

Shedtastic. Working on "Mr disco" And I to assume rock the shed is to obvious or is it no one really lIkea it!

happy easter everyone. im off to buy a shedload of easter eggs for the kids (and a norweigen passport!)

Oh no, here we go again.......

Any shed stories or bank holiday DIY blunders anyone care to admit?

NO Regret wrote: Any shed stories or bank holiday DIY blunders anyone care to admit?

I got a chainsaw in the sales :)

Hedging your bets lol

Probably my worse effort and I really shed knock the nail on the head (if you parden the pun).

Somewhere like B&Q

This can’t be real My shed is burning How does it feel? Well let’s say its concerning

It had to come The shit has landed It’s time to run The bikes are stranded

Were having a crises midlife Were lost in a tool paradise

Somewhere like B&Q Makes me feel like I use to do Return my shed again Make it new like it was at the start

It’s everything to me The perfect symmetry All that it tried to be It even had a key

I guess what I mean to say Is it could be from homebase The children on holiday Here comes the crown (paint)

Somewhere like B&Q Makes me feel like I use to do Return my shed again Make it new like it was at the start

:\ohwell:

anybody know any spam songs?

Gazman wrote: anybody know any spam songs?

Here's one:-

Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

Gazman wrote: anybody know any spam songs?

wham! spam! its getting out of hand mod or no mod you can tell its hit the rot do you enjoy what you do and if not then why dont you p*ss off

:\ohwell:

leaf me alone

Down a thousand isles in the store I see a thousand shoppers just like me A hundred tools to choose from I watch them gleaming bright in the light We look on in awe at what to buy It's gone be a very full trolley when I leave Down a thousand isles in the store What do I buy

And off to the garden store There’s plants and shrubs everywhere Another full trolley it is great Gotta get home and unload Now my back hurts

From the front to the back My gardens look great I see my gnomes lined up at the gate From the front to the back To my shed, through the trees We get our gardens done We get our gardens done Every weekend We get our gnomes washed Then they smile

But from my head to my toes My body bleeds and aches Every time I work the yard But for these autumn days leafs to sweep But for these autumn days leafs to sweep Leaf me alone Leaf me alone

get some work done