In reply to the posting a few months back regarding England not being able to win at any sports & the TEN consecutive victories over tri-nations opposition, home & away...
The following law changes have been approved : 23: Matches involving an England XV
Whereas in general matches are decided by number of points scored, England must not only score more points but also run in a superior number of tries to be awarded a victory.
Games in which England score more points than the opposition in the Northern Hemisphere shall be considered void. (This is a recent amendment, replacing the long standing law that games won at Twickenham are void. The older version was found inadequate to the developing situation. This law may be subject to further revision at the end of June.)
Games in which England score more points than the opposition with Jonny Wilkinson on the pitch shall be considered void.
Games in which England score more points than the opposition and in which any England player, supporter or indeed national offend any player, supporter or national of the opposition or for that matter any other country, by so much as a poorly timed sneeze, shall be considered void.
Games in which England score more points than the opposition and the opposition are at the beginning or end of their season shall be considered void.
Games in which England score more points than the opposition and the prevailing weather and conditions bear so much as the faintest resemblance to that in which most England players normally play shall be considered void.
Games in which England score more points than the opposition and a member of the opposition is sent off or sin-binned for foul play shall be considered void. To play against fewer than XV men is unsporting, whatever the reason. Should England have a member of their team sent off or sin-binned, refer to law 23:4 above.
In games in which England score more points than the opposition, but in which the opposition score last, the opposition are deemed to have finished the game the stronger and are therefore deemed the winners.
If England selects Martin Johnson in their side, they will be deemed to have brought the game into disrepute through violent conduct. The opposition will be awarded the match and Johnson will be banned for six weeks.
If any England player, official or supporter ever suggests that, in a game that they 'won', England was the better side and deserved to win, the game shall be considered void.
Similarly, if any England player, official or supporter ever suggests that England might win their pool in any Rugby World Cup, they will be accused of insufferable arrogance, bringing the game into disrepute and England will be thrown out of the aforementioned tournament forwith.
Games that England lose shall be considered tests, whatever the nature of the game, opposition or composition of the England XV, and shall count in the test statistics of played/won/lost. In the (unlikely) event of England winning a game it shall be considered at best a friendly A international and counted as such.
Laws 23:1 to 23:10 inclusive have no relevance in the event of England scoring less points than the opposition, nor should they be applied in any way to the circumstances or behaviour of that opposition.
