Priceless ( aka Mastercard)

This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had become suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!" then turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm out of here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have cancelled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge... making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has gall the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends.....$32,000 Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion......$3,000 Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodation in Maui.....$8,500 The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man... Priceless! There are somethings money can't buy. For everything else there's MASTERCARD!!!

.......or this

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, And so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her Younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight Mini skirts and low-cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me"

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and tossed them down to me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his Eyes he hugged me and said, "We are so happy that you have passed our Little test.We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car.