Ah-nuld for Gov

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Arnold Schwartzeneggar(sic?) has thrown his hat into the ring and various other political cliches. The Terminator is running for Governer of the great and wacky state of California. Who's gonna be his running mate, Scott Baio?

Well, friends ("Graduation March" cued up) I suppose you're all wondering what I, Taboo #7 will do. Can I sit back and just allow California politics to be littered with the remenants of once-was movie stars and nutjob millionaire hacks? Can I honestly look you in the face and say, "Please pass the remote" while millions cry? Can I look in the mirror and still see honor in a face so wracked with anger over the tide of Anaheim Angels Rally Monkeys ravaging the great state of Cali?........No, I cannot, and I will not.........and so, my friends (rising crescendo) I am here to announce that I will seek the Governer's seat of California!

I do not expect this to be an easy campaign, or a hard one. The most my enemies on the far right/left/center can hold against me is that I have never been to the West Coast. My high-profile animal molestation case was settled out-of-court in Kentucky, where the judge agreed that the goat in question was "mighty purdy!" And my video rental history at Blockbuster should NOT be a campaign issue. No, friends, I see no reason why I, your humble and oh-so-to-the-point Taboo #7, beloved by all and hated by none, should not seek the position of Gubner of the grate staight of Kalephorneia........

The "Trevor Seigler for Gov." Party will cross all political divides: We will accept anyone....so long as they have money, power, and don't mind leaving their farm animals alone with me in my campaign headquarters (Holiday Inn, just off the Interstate, Reseda). I run not to curry favor with the establishment (though that would be nice), I run not to endorse the policies of the current national administration (but just to be safe I'll say I am. Otherwise I might be labeled a terrorist), I run not out of spite for my enemies (though they will be the first to suffer when I introduce the "re-education" camps in Bakersfield and Fresno), nor to seek the approval of Hollywood (Spielberg and Warner Bros. won't return my phone calls). No, I run because.......because I don't have anything better to do until school starts back on the 25th!

So, ladies and gentlemen, when you go into that voting booth on the 7th of October (two days before my birthday--how can I lose?!), remember: I'm Trevor Seigler AKA Taboo #7, I don't know shit about California, but I'm bored! (where else would you get that honesty? From Ah-nuld? Huffington?)

GOD BLESS AMERICA, LITTLE BABIES, APPLE PIE, "GESTAPO" ASHCROFT, AND FRENCH...ERM, "LIBERTY" TOAST! THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!

Less publicity, but also entering, or thinking of entering the race are Gary "Whu'ch'you talkin' bout Willis" Coleman and the watermellon-destroying comedian Gallagher.

It's the Us Weekly-ization of America, where we -- and they themselves -- think that movie/tv stars are somehow qualified leaders.

Originally posted by Thief Like Me Less publicity, but also entering, or thinking of entering the race are Gary "Whu'ch'you talkin' bout Willis" Coleman and the watermellon-destroying comedian Gallagher. It's the Us Weekly-ization of America, where we -- and they themselves -- think that movie/tv stars are somehow qualified leaders.

Case in point: Ronnie "Gipper" Reagan (Pres 1981-1989)

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 > Originally posted by Thief Like Me> Less publicity, but also entering, or thinking of entering the race are Gary "Whu'ch'you talkin' bout Willis" Coleman and the watermellon-destroying comedian Gallagher. > > It's the Us Weekly-ization of America, where we -- and they themselves -- think that movie/tv stars are somehow qualified leaders.

Case in point: Ronnie "Gipper" Reagan (Pres 1981-1989)

Easy there, Trev.......

:)

I'm so proud of my state of California, the only qualified candidate dropping out (Feinstein), Coleman, Flynt, a porn star, Huffington v. Huffington, Davis, Issa whom everyone has already forgotten, Bill Simon, maybe Riordan, and my choice Arnold Schwarzenegger; to me this seems like a weird episode of Hollywood Squares

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 > Originally posted by Thief Like Me> Less publicity, but also entering, or thinking of entering the race are Gary "Whu'ch'you talkin' bout Willis" Coleman and the watermellon-destroying comedian Gallagher. > > It's the Us Weekly-ization of America, where we -- and they themselves -- think that movie/tv stars are somehow qualified leaders.

Case in point: Ronnie "Gipper" Reagan (Pres 1981-1989) Reagan was our best president since FDR

Yeah, everyone knows that only politicians are qualified to become politicians.

I for one don't miss the Berlin Wall one bit. Thanks Gipper.

(NOOL) HARD TIMES HIT AMATEUR POLITICAL HUMORISTS ONLINE Simple Mentions of Ronald Reagan No Longer Guaranteed Laugh, Poster Says

Originally posted by Gnu Odor Yeah, everyone knows that only politicians are qualified to become politicians.I for one don't miss the Berlin Wall one bit. Thanks Gipper.(NOOL) HARD TIMES HIT AMATEUR POLITICAL HUMORISTS ONLINE Simple Mentions of Ronald Reagan No Longer Guaranteed Laugh, Poster Says

Ronnie had his good points, to be sure...........damned if I can remember any, though :D

The best president since FDR? That's easy: Gerald Ford!

You need to retire from politics and get to work on that personals ad.

We love you, Trevor...just not in that way.

Originally posted by Gnu Odor You need to retire from politics and get to work on that personals ad.We love you, Trevor...just not in that way.

it's offical, Gary Coleman's in the race as well! Damn, I could never beat a midget in a general election.....well, it was fun while it lasted, but I have decided to withdraw from the recall election and get back to what I do best: making an ass out of myself. I'd like to think all the campaign volunteers, I know they all took valuable time out of their lives to help my canidacy, but I feel it's in my best interest to withdraw. I realize now what I didn't when I delcared my canidacy not even an hour ago: I won't be able to respond when Mr. Coleman asks me that one important question destined to define the campaign....."What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

again, I want to think all of you who devoted so much to my campaign, and all I can offer you is some words of wisdom I learned long ago...."They're come to take me away, ho-ho. They're coming to take me away, ha-ha."

I VILL TERMINATE ALL OPPONENTS UF AH-NULD.

Gary Coleman...you puny wimp...you're next.

Originally posted by Gnu Odor I VILL TERMINATE ALL OPPONENTS UF AH-NULD.Gary Coleman...you puny wimp...you're next.

You are going to have to kill Gallagher as well

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 > Originally posted by Thief Like Me> Less publicity, but also entering, or thinking of entering the race are Gary "Whu'ch'you talkin' bout Willis" Coleman and the watermellon-destroying comedian Gallagher. > > It's the Us Weekly-ization of America, where we -- and they themselves -- think that movie/tv stars are somehow qualified leaders.

Case in point: Ronnie "Gipper" Reagan (Pres 1981-1989)

don't forget he was also an ex-california gov.

i for one wish Pete Wilson was still the man in the chair. he was the genius behind prop-"kick-the-mexican's-out-and-refuse-any-non-citizen-healthcare-so-they-can-die-in-our-streets"

i can't figure out if that one was worse than Ronnies big prop that fucked the property tax laws up, depleting the funding for public schools, while simultaneously easing the tax burdens of all land owners. can i get a woot-woot?!?

Goddamnit...must withhold opinion...

Originally posted by Gnu Odor Goddamnit...must withhold opinion...

don't w/hold it, let it out

Originally posted by Taboo # 7

Ronnie had his good points, to be sure...........damned if I can remember any, though :D

I'm sure he can't remember them either. :D

yeah, but i am sure nancy has seen 'em all come out... in to his bed pan.

Reagan was an ass. The Berlin Wall fell because the Soviets were willing to loosen up, not because the Gip was threatening them with "Evil Empire" status (thus bringing Christian morality into the realm of politics). Big deficits are fun, high taxes are fun, tax breaks for the wealthiest portion of society are fun.

yeah... you know what else is fun? wearing dark brown pants, so no one can tell if you shit yourself in public. :D

poor gorbachev, having to sit so close to ronnie and his poopie-pants all the time.

Originally posted by Sean Taugher yeah... you know what else is fun? wearing dark brown pants, so no one can tell if you shit yourself in public. :Dpoor gorbachev, having to sit so close to ronnie and his poopie-pants all the time.

I just hope you get Alzheimer's one day

i hope you lighten up one day

Comedy Rule No. 1 - Alzheimer's = Sure-Fire Laff Chuckle

"Way more funny than breast cancer!" - Joe Maudlin, New Comedy Review

Fuck this...any of you who has had to deal with an Alzheimer's patient, raise your hand.

Didn't think so.

Fuck off.

My great-grandmother had Alzheimer's, so I guess I'll raise my hand....this thread has taken a nasty turn, I merely meant to mock the debacle that is California politics. I'll quit cracking on Ronnie, just so we can get away from these harsh words. Alright?...

Anyway, I changed my mind, the race is back on....I'll be running on a platform of "More Guns for Our Children!"

Originally posted by Tristan Jayol I'm so proud of my state of California, the only qualified candidate dropping out (Feinstein), Coleman, Flynt, a porn star, Huffington v. Huffington, Davis, Issa whom everyone has already forgotten, Bill Simon, maybe Riordan, and my choice Arnold Schwarzenegger; to me this seems like a weird episode of Hollywood Squares

If I lived in California, which I don't, since the farthest west I've been was Chicago, I'd vote for Flynt. Why? I dunno, but, who knows, he'll probably be a better leader than any of the above. But, hey, I live in a state where Tom Ridge and Rick Santorom (sic?) were both governors at one point.

Originally posted by Tristan Jayol I'm so proud of my state of California, the only qualified candidate dropping out (Feinstein), Coleman, Flynt, a porn star, Huffington v. Huffington, Davis, Issa whom everyone has already forgotten, Bill Simon, maybe Riordan, and my choice Arnold Schwarzenegger; to me this seems like a weird episode of Hollywood Squares

If I lived in California, which I don't, since the farthest west I've been was Chicago, I'd vote for Flynt. Why? I dunno, but, who knows, he'll probably be a better leader than any of the above. But, hey, I live in a state where Tom Ridge and Rick Santorom (sic?) were both governors at one point.

Originally posted by Who is this man that follows me? > Originally posted by Tristan Jayol> I'm so proud of my state of California, the only qualified candidate dropping out (Feinstein), Coleman, Flynt, a porn star, Huffington v. Huffington, Davis, Issa whom everyone has already forgotten, Bill Simon, maybe Riordan, and my choice Arnold Schwarzenegger; to me this seems like a weird episode of Hollywood Squares

If I lived in California, which I don't, since the farthest west I've been was Chicago, I'd vote for Flynt. Why? I dunno, but, who knows, he'll probably be a better leader than any of the above. But, hey, I live in a state where Tom Ridge and Rick Santorom (sic?) were both governors at one point. i love the smut peddler who cares, porno and gambling for all Californians, huzzah

Heck, Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedys ran for mayor in SF and came in a respectable 4th, so nothing much surprises me anymore. Purely in the interest of research, of course, I found part of the platform of the porn star, Mary Carey. Naked jumping jacks?

That's right, Mary Carey is trying to throw her hat into the California governors race. She is pledging to make lap dances tax deductible, start taxing breast implants to generate revenue, and hiring porn stars to negotiate the states electricity prices. She also wants to create a Porno for Pistols program to reduce violence in California. Under the plan, gun owners could swap their weapons for X-rated movies. But JJ1 has a better reason to vote for Mary. She would be the first governor to do naked jumping jacks. Put that on your resume Dianne Feinstein

Originally posted by Gnu Odor Fuck this...any of you who has had to deal with an Alzheimer's patient, raise your hand.Didn't think so.Fuck off.I admire the comedy here but may i just point out at the tender age of 54 my mother got this awful ZOMBIE illness that is called ALZEIMERS (sorry for spelling).It took 14 years before she died.WORST thing i have ever witnessed and this more than anything made me MAD MICK as they call me in CHORLEY.This is what life is all about ,learning to cope with tragedy and adversity aswll as the great times(your son's being born or eating WALKERS CRISP with a ).But carry on joking ,i know i do.But sometimes we all may hit someone elses LOW spot.I apologize to all those that i have done this in the past but will carry on making BLUFFS,GAFFS and INSANE comments.Now you may forgive me just a little.Rocket Mick

I apologize sincerely for my outburst earlier, which came at the end of a day which included walking up to my house after work to find my children crying in the front yard and and ambulance parked out front. You know what they say about comedy and timing, right?

Again, sorry. Now back to the program already in progress.

Originally posted by His Holiness, The Pope Reagan was an ass. The Berlin Wall fell because the Soviets were willing to loosen up, not because the Gip was threatening them with "Evil Empire" status (thus bringing Christian morality into the realm of politics).

I enjoy your posts, David, but if you're going to quote passages directly from you American public high school textbook, at the very least use quotation marks.