bus stop — Forum Archive — New Order Online

20 Aug 2003, 23:30

A young woman, wearing a tight leather mini-skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket, was waiting for the city bus.

When the young woman stepped up to board the bus, she quickly realized that her skirt was too tight. The embarrassed young woman reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little. She hoped this would give her enough slack to climb the stairs onto the bus. Much to her chagrin, though, that didn't help.

A big Texan, who was in line behind the embarrassed, young woman, gently lifted her from the waist and helped her onto the bus.

As expected, the young woman went ballistic, and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him, "How dare you touch me! I don't even know who you are!"

The big Texan drawled, "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but since you were unzippin' my fly, I kinda figured that we was friends!"

21 Aug 2003, 21:20

Top 10 ways to tell if a Redneck is working at a computer in your office:

The mouse is referred to as a "critter."
The keyboard is camouflage patterned.
There is a Dr. Pepper can in the CD-ROM drive.
The password is "bubba."
The six front keys have rotted out.
"Winders 95" has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
Outgoing faxes have cold drink stains on them.
John Deere Pocket Protectors.
The menus all have Dr. Pepper, and Royal Crown Cola options.
And the #1 way to tell if a Redneck works in your office: The monitor is up on blocks

22 Aug 2003, 03:50

there aren't many jokes containing the word chagrin

good work jeff

22 Aug 2003, 08:06

Caminho de paca T.a.t.u caminha dentro? :D

22 Aug 2003, 11:15

actually, upon further review, this joke sucks...

it wasn't nearly as funny as I thought it was when I first read it, I'm sober now, I wasn't then!

22 Aug 2003, 14:30

what the fuck does Dr Pepper have to do with rednecks? :scratch:

22 Aug 2003, 14:51

Originally posted by opus for governor what the fuck does Dr Pepper have to do with rednecks?

it was invented in Texas, Waco to be exact, that might be the answer!

23 Aug 2003, 20:27

I thought this might be a reference to the Hollies song ("Bus stop, she's there, I say 'Please hold my umbrella'..") That's gonna be stuck in my head all night now. :nonono:

27 Aug 2003, 16:10

Gee, you're a sick bastard

4 Sep 2003, 20:04

Originally posted by bLuE oRdEr Gee, you're a sick bastard

That's what we like to call "a productive weekend" around these here parts :toothless:

4 Sep 2003, 21:30

what do the sheep say when Trevor walks by???

Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h no--h-h-h-h-h...it's Trevor-r-r-r-r-r-r...

4 Sep 2003, 21:59

Originally posted by Reijo Ruotsalainen > Originally posted by opus for governor> what the fuck does Dr Pepper have to do with rednecks?

it was invented in Texas, Waco to be exact, that might be the answer!

yeah, but so was sleeping with your cousins, and that isn't the butt of a lot of... oh wait! :uhoh:

in all honesty, i think Dr.P has overcome it's redneck roots (or at least hid them well enough) better than RC Cola.

5 Sep 2003, 13:34

Originally posted by d u b The menus all have Dr. Pepper, and Royal Crown Cola options.

:nuts: RC Cola is awesome, and I'm not a redneck, my neck is actually a dark tan; my neck used to be red when I was younger, but I tanned the red out. Also I'm drinking a Dr. Pepper right now

5 Sep 2003, 14:28

Originally posted by Reijo Ruotsalainen what do the sheep say when Trevor walks by???Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h no--h-h-h-h-h...it's Trevor-r-r-r-r-r-r...

And when Jeff comes by.....

D-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n't-t-t use the hot poker-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r:p

5 Sep 2003, 20:21

touche my young friend...excellent comeback!!!

now get to the store...there are cans to be stacked!!!

and maybe later, sheep to be, uhm...petted...yes, that's it, we must not allow these misconceptions of the south to be continued! :wink:

5 Sep 2003, 23:57

Originally posted by Reijo Ruotsalainen touche my young friend...excellent comeback!!!now get to the store...there are cans to be stacked!!!and maybe later, sheep to be, uhm...petted...yes, that's it, we must not allow these misconceptions of the south to be continued!

If those are cans of rc cola, dr. pepper, or A&W i'll be there helping in a heartbeat