Twisted Tender Mock-Chicken Pieces

Not sure if I should still be posting but fuck it.

2002 has seen Huntsman's fabled loft space open up like the Valley of the Dolls and first to pop out was the hideous Electrical Light Bulb album 'Twisted Twizzle Sticks'. I seem to recall skipping the tracks like a rabid dog trying to find some ounce of quality but failed.

Now I've seen many of you cats pouring over this saucer of cream before, can anyone point me to which songs on this album are actaully any cop? ... I'm going to shove it in me multi-functioning bomber cd player tonight and refuse to go from 1 to 12 in another Search for Spock.

Answers on a postcard please.

Haven't listened lately,Huntso, but my recollection is that title track was the best, Vivid second best.

I found Twisted Tenderness was a "grower". It needs several listens. Leave that skip button alone!!

In Review...

1. Make It Happen - quite good. Nice ending.
2. Haze - Noisy drums, a bit crap.
3. Vivid - Throw the gob iron away.
4. Breakdown - Shite.
5. CFMWH - Shite.
6. Twisted Testicles - Ruined by the annoying 'bzzz-tink!' in the percussion.
7. Like No Other - Like this one.
8. Late at Night - Best track on the album.
9. Prodigal Son - Promising start but all falls apart.
10. When She's Gone - aaahh... lovely.
11. Flicker - Crap lyrics, great chorus.

So there you go.

I remember a day long ago when I was wandering round town wondering which fast food outlet would best serve my needs for a tasty scooby snack. After much deliberation I wandered into KFC. 'A generous helping of your tenderest chicken pieces please' says I. 'Certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 please' says the spotty youth. What he meant to say was 'certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 and a week in hospital please', for only hours later i'm barfing rings round myself all the way to the Infirmary where I was kept for a week with food poisoning, compliments of Colonel Bogey himself. Needless to say, i've not been back since. Cunts!!

Originally posted by Muffy I remember a day long ago when I was wandering round town wondering which fast food outlet would best serve my needs for a tasty scooby snack. After much deliberation I wandered into KFC. 'A generous helping of your tenderest chicken pieces please' says I. 'Certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 please' says the spotty youth. What he meant to say was 'certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 and a week in hospital please', for only hours later i'm barfing rings round myself all the way to the Infirmary where I was kept for a week with food poisoning, compliments of Colonel Bogey himself. Needless to say, i've not been back since. Cunts!!

Food poisoning is nasty. I got it after some dodgy party catering. The only good thing about it was I lost nearly 6 pounds in weight. Still can't look at those little sausage rolls to this day...

Originally posted by Muffy I remember a day long ago when I was wandering round town wondering which fast food outlet would best serve my needs for a tasty scooby snack. After much deliberation I wandered into KFC. 'A generous helping of your tenderest chicken pieces please' says I. 'Certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 please' says the spotty youth. What he meant to say was 'certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 and a week in hospital please', for only hours later i'm barfing rings round myself all the way to the Infirmary where I was kept for a week with food poisoning, compliments of Colonel Bogey himself. Needless to say, i've not been back since. Cunts!!

TEN NICKA for a bucket of chicken pieces? Dear god, you could buy the whole Colonel's Kangaroo Zinger pack for that sort of loot down here.

With prices like that it's no wonder Kylie and Danni left these fair shores to sell their fine art abroad. Did I say art..?

Arse.

Originally posted by depthcharge > Originally posted by Muffy > I remember a day long ago when I was wandering round town wondering which fast food outlet would best serve my needs for a tasty scooby snack. After much deliberation I wandered into KFC. 'A generous helping of your tenderest chicken pieces please' says I. 'Certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 please' says the spotty youth. What he meant to say was 'certainly sir, that'll be £9.99 and a week in hospital please', for only hours later i'm barfing rings round myself all the way to the Infirmary where I was kept for a week with food poisoning, compliments of Colonel Bogey himself. Needless to say, i've not been back since. Cunts!!> >

TEN NICKA for a bucket of chicken pieces? Dear god, you could buy the whole Colonel's Kangaroo Zinger pack for that sort of loot down here.

With prices like that it's no wonder Kylie and Danni left these fair shores to sell their fine art abroad. Did I say art..?

Arse.

Didn't you mean asses??

Didn't you mean asses??

In my dream they are but one ass. The heads are interchangeable.

Although then there's the other dream, when they are fighting over me, in negligees, with feathery pillows, on a slippery bar... Inspired by the old Duran Girls on Film video really.. But I think we've mentioned that one before.

Originally posted by depthcharge > > > Didn't you mean asses??> >

In my dream they are but one ass. The heads are interchangeable.

Although then there's the other dream, when they are fighting over me, in negligees, with feathery pillows, on a slippery bar... Inspired by the old Duran Girls on Film video really.. But I think we've mentioned that one before.

Deepthroat me ol' mucka. How the blazes can they be fighting over you when they are right here with me taking part in the mother of all shagfests. Technique plays in the background in an endless loop and the girls take turns on me between posts on the orderline. It's a dirty job but someones got to do it!

Fuck weasels I can't believe this thread has turned into a full on fight over interchangeable Minogue heads, the Colonel's filthiest animal sanggy and varied accounts of food poisoning. Great stuff!

I'll take the chicken nuggets out of the Twisted selection box suggestions and not press skip as often as I'd like.

For what its worth being a veggie you only get one selector in the fast food outlets and then they say "Do you fucking wanna wait five bastard minutes longer than any other fucker for a bun filled with shitty beans or do you want the fucking Egg McMonkey Special with Heads of McChickens sacrificed from their battery farms and French Frittlers to go bitch!?" to which I retort, bollocks, bring me the bean burger you stupid knocker and fill that carton with chips, oh, and I'll take that plaggy cup of ice cubes with flavouring and I'm sat over there so bring it over with a load of small packets of barbecue sauce when your ready you fucking tit whisker.

... as far as Danni vs. Kylie, I'd take Danni circa 1992 when he naughties where the size of mens heads ... Kylied needs a few tissues down her blouse to arouse my attentions, and that would be after a McMucky Burger, fries and eggs to go beyond belief followed by a nip of whisky and fruit salad to spip.

I'll take Kylie then Hunts, with pleasure! Some of my chums and workies who have had the pleasure of meeting The Minx have remarked on how she has the body of the saucy little cock holster known as Kylie. While i'm not particularly a fan of her 'music' I suspect fun could be had giving her the benefit of my doubt!

Food poisoning, eh? I had a chilli dog at a local rat-infested Dairy Queen a few months back, I was tripping the light fantastic later on in the afternoon. I think it was karmic retribution for my and my 11-yr old brother mocking the fact that they hadn't won an award for cleanliness since before he was born. Thank God I dodn't get Montezuma's Revenge (I can't eat anything from Taco bell without being adversely affected.)

T7 you speak of many outlets not available in the UK but I can get the gist that they are of filthy magnitude and as such, must be destroyed. Any place that promotes the breeding of the rattus rattus surely cannot be recommended to friends or family.

I would like to say on the behalf of us in the UK how grateful we are that Pizza Heist finally crossed the shores to role out lovely dollops of freshly warmed bread for us all to enjoy. Without the Hut, I would be a weaker individual, so weak I fear I would crack bending down for a shit. Throw a small smattering of barbecue sauce on a cheesy belter and the Huntsman II is in a place only a decent BJ could offer ... a heaven in my own mouth (as the girls say).

Where I live we have a chain of pastie shops called Carriks where you can go in and eat a pastie with a filthy mug of tea. Imagine if you will T7, a place that looks like its out of one of the Carry On movies from the 50's or 60's and that's it, except its 2002. Its like walking through a time tunnel and the chances are that when you lean forward on the glued seat, you may put your elbow on an old cigarette but ... which is appauling during the consuming of a bun or bread roll.

I noticed you like Monty Python, many parts of our fair country still look like this show ... which is baffling to me, who goes to work on a rocket ship made of wood.

Huntsy, Ilove my pizzas but I fear there are many superior outlets to da' hut. Do you have Pizza Express oop North? A winner in my eyes.

I do honestly live not 5 mins walk from a real jellied eels shop. Does great pies as well

I had a fair bit of time for TT, I listened to it quite a bit during that summer after it was realised as i was driving around a lot. I'd agree mainly with d'keeper, though I thought Haze was excellent personally but had less time for the 2nd half of the album.

Originally posted by Seb Briggs Huntsy, Ilove my pizzas but I fear there are many superior outlets to da' hut. Do you have Pizza Express oop North? A winner in my eyes. I do honestly live not 5 mins walk from a real jellied eels shop. Does great pies as wellI had a fair bit of time for TT, I listened to it quite a bit during that summer after it was realised as i was driving around a lot. I'd agree mainly with d'keeper, though I thought Haze was excellent personally but had less time for the 2nd half of the album.

Perhaps i was a bit harsh on 'haze'... i just listened to it and its not all that bad.

Originally posted by Seb Briggs Huntsy, Ilove my pizzas but I fear there are many superior outlets to da' hut. Do you have Pizza Express oop North? A winner in my eyes. I do honestly live not 5 mins walk from a real jellied eels shop. Does great pies as wellI had a fair bit of time for TT, I listened to it quite a bit during that summer after it was realised as i was driving around a lot. I'd agree mainly with d'keeper, though I thought Haze was excellent personally but had less time for the 2nd half of the album.

Pizza Express is possibly the finest item currently available to mankind. It is the cat's pyjamas.

Originally posted by Allen Jarvis

Do they stick beetroot on their KFC burgers Down Under, DepthCharge? Me seems to remember some McBurger with a bit of beet (a McOz perchance?) and a Burger King burger in a similar vein (or Casey Jones, or whatever you're calling BK these days), but I don't think I ever ventured into a KFC to see if they were as liberal with the beetroot in there.

The beetroot in the Macca's is still ther and the Oz Burger still has beetroot but there is no way KFC would take up the challenge. I've said many a time chuck in some beetroot with the Zinger but all they will offer me is bacon (yeah right) cheese and some pineapple. I still do not know where we get this obsesion with beetroot from, its alright but not what people make it out to be!!!!! Pineapple is a more foul substance that should not be used to desecrate pizzas. In Oz it is best to get your pizzas from one of the many thousand non-chain operators. In melbourne in Lygon St alone we have the choice of about 30 odd pizza places and not one of them is a chain like the Hut.

Beetroot sounds like it's used in burgers in Oz like Chicory is used in coffee in New Orleans --- filler! Back in the Dizzay, peeps in the big sleazy were too poor to make a pot of straight coffee so they added wood (chicory) to the grounds and turned out an interesting coffee flavor. personally, i prefer my coffee pure, with no added wood. cream and sugar please, but hold the wood. I bet the old school Ozzies used to "beef-up" the beef with beetroot with economy in mind like those cheap bastards on the banks of the mississippi. I have found it very easy to not eat at chain's like McD's, BK, the Hut etc...do not support these businesses, please! I'm sure you can find a sandwich somewhere else.