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Just listened to a radio recording of the Hyde Park gig and noticed that Mr Hook was in fine fettle with his crowd banter.
The beginning of LWTUA quote 'You must all be over 40 you bunch of f**king daft b**tards.....your making me feel guilty....f**king hell'
- Classic
Has anyone else got any fave banter from Hooky or Barney or Steve and Gillian for that matter?
well...it wasn't exactly banter...but I did enjoy hearing Barney sing, during TF, when I was a very small boy, Michael Jackson played with me...
OOPS!!!
FAC103 wrote: well...it wasn't exactly banter...but I did enjoy hearing Barney sing, during TF, when I was a very small boy, Michael Jackson played with me...
OOPS!!!
where did he do that?
headshrinker wrote:
FAC103 wrote: well...it wasn't exactly banter...but I did enjoy hearing Barney sing, during TF, when I was a very small boy, Michael Jackson played with me...
OOPS!!!
where did he do that?
Probably down his pants.
FAC103 wrote: well...it wasn't exactly banter...but I did enjoy hearing Barney sing, during TF, when I was a very small boy, Michael Jackson played with me...
OOPS!!!
and 
at the same time 
headshrinker wrote:
FAC103 wrote: well...it wasn't exactly banter...but I did enjoy hearing Barney sing, during TF, when I was a very small boy, Michael Jackson played with me...
OOPS!!!
where did he do that?
In all 1993 shows if I remember well...
Berlin Metropol April 8, 1984
"You are the worst fucking audience we have ever played for in our fucking lives. We never ever want to play in Berlin again you miserable fucking bastards. (SPIT)"
or something like that
New York, 1983
"How, Does it feel, To be- Stuck in front of a bunch of pricks like you?" - Bernard's 1983 autocue work
Oakland, 2005
"Wot'a poof." - Bernard, on Morrissey
My personal favourite is during the June 2002 Finsbury Park gig when after a frenzied Ceremony Barney asks "is everybody having a nice time?. Personally, I'd rather be sat at home watching Stars on Sunday, or the World Cup". He then proceeds to waffle on about Stars on Sunday as if he's talking to himself and Hooky just laughs at him with a face that says "you're not stoned mate, why are you talking rubbish!" in a humourous way. Quality.
headshrinker wrote:
FAC103 wrote: well...it wasn't exactly banter...but I did enjoy hearing Barney sing, during TF, when I was a very small boy, Michael Jackson played with me...
OOPS!!!
where did he do that?
erm...on multiple occasions...Mountain View, CA during the Area One Festival...and I think he might have said it at one of the Brixton Academy gigs as well...
Bernard made some remark about "wank-faced Jews" at some point during their Hyde Park set. I was quite shocked and he seemed to treat it as a throwaway remark. It was a reference to another band I think, although I don't know who he was referring to. He's never said anything publically that could be described as anti-Semitic before as far as I know. Strange.
Chemical wrote: Bernard made some remark about "wank-faced Jews" at some point during their Hyde Park set. I was quite shocked and he seemed to treat it as a throwaway remark. It was a reference to another band I think, although I don't know who he was referring to. He's never said anything publically that could be described as anti-Semitic before as far as I know. Strange.
He said "wank-faced jurnalists"mate..
At a London Central Poly gig in 1985, in aid of the Terence Higgins Trust:
at one point Barney says, "Could you all move back a bit. Else we'll be doing a suffocation benefit next week."
and then later on: "Can you move back a bit please, someone's getting crushed in the front. I don't give a fuck really, but it sounds good if I say it."
I've got it on a bootleg somewhere, but first heard about it on this great site: http://www.new-order.net/no/gigs/nogigs.html
Reading 98. Upon Bernard introducing Keith Allen, the actor replied And Chris Evans is still a ginger cu*t Barney: No hes not, i like him
Allen : Yes he fucking is!!
Class. Never made it onto the DVD
i went to see em in manchester for the get ready tour and after finishing temptation, bernard said'....yeah.....i actually like that one' made me chuckle. and later on after a few more songs he says 'sorry for the noise' again chuckle worth material
There are so many...
'My cock's as big as the M1'
'This one's dedicated to Princess Diana, it's called Weirdo'
etc....
This is one of my favourites, and its not even rude. Brisbane Big Day Out 2002 BLT inro
BS: We are now going to play one of our favourites. Bizarre LOve Triangle. Its about me Phil and Peter. Peter's on top of New Order...
PH: And he's bizarre.
BS: ...and Phil's on the bottom.
Audience Member : Yer just a pop group. Barney : Come ere and say that you cunt, come on stage and say it........ we might be a pop group but you're just a wanker.
Birmingham Tower Ballroom 86.
There are loads, and when I was a young lad of 14 collecting live cassettes, I'd always look out for the famous quotes just as much as the setlist they played.
Techno 2. at the same gig Barney sang, " and you reached out in you're sleep and you felt my big fat cock" during Lonesome Tonight
He said "wank-faced jurnalists"mate.
Cheers! I wonder who in particular he was dissing. Who gave them a shitty review? I thought it was something like that because he's never publically come out with anything remotely racist or anti-Semitic before so it would have been well out of character, not to say controversial.
It would've also added ammunition to those neanderthals who still think the JD/NO thing has fascist connections...
Ronald Kirsch wrote: This is one of my favourites, and its not even rude. Brisbane Big Day Out 2002 BLT inro
BS: We are now going to play one of our favourites. Bizarre LOve Triangle. Its about me Phil and Peter. Peter's on top of New Order...
PH: And he's bizarre.
BS: ...and Phil's on the bottom.
This is really great .
incredulously...."Andy, is that an orange juice on top of my amp?......go and get me a proper fucking drink ".
"Ibiza Minorca and Benedrom too I searched all these places and never found a stupid cunt like you"
"We've got these faggots in the audiece....everyone!"
"Naked saunas.....marching music......" (Cologne 01)
"I've always liked Wolverhampton. It reminds me of Wolves. Wolves with big dicks." (Wolverhampton 86)
"This one's about Birmingham, it's called 'fucking'" (Sub-culture, Birmingham 9/4/85)
"I'd like to dedicate this song to someone who couldn't be with us tonight because he's dead. I think you all know who I mean.......Mr Elvis Presley" (Sydney, 18/5/85)
This one's a fast one fer all you bollock brains.Tolworth 83.
Keep yer cans to yourself you fucking tosser! Womad 85.
If you didn't deserve that then you certainly don't fuckin deserve this. After Decades at the Paradiso about to launch into LWTUA. Think that was Hooky though.
Even more of a highlight - and damned rare - is when Barn introduces the band. I think my crappy Kilkenny 83 tape reports that he introduces everyone and even says something like "...and behind me, Ian Curtis" at one point!
Theres an interesting list of impromptu song titles I've got a cock like the M1. Princess Diana. Come on you bastard (after theis little cunt here in front of me). I got a wank off a girl with a spotty back.
Sure theres more..
Hey Shug - you stole my line ! - I was at that gig and I have to say it was one of the best I've been to. We were packed in like sardines. This lad at the front kept shouting "pop group" hekkling Barney and Hooky and Hooky broke first - "pop group - what' wrong with f****n pop group's - you're at the front you c**t". They then played a track (forgotten which one) and shortly after Barney asked this lad to come on stage - "you come on stage - go on you come on stage - we might be a f***in pop group but you're a f****n wa***r." It was electric. I bought the tape the next day from some guy at the now defunct bull ring market.
I've just remembered there is the classic Your silent Face - a c**t that never changes remains a stupid t**t......heard in Poole I think it was - mid 80's. Classic.
Gonna do a bit of improvisational singing now, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck basically.
Yes, thanks very much, I always thought I was witty instead of being a pissed up twat.
Woolwich coronet.
Apparently in Seattle on the 89 tour, Bernard was singing "What is it you need that makes your pussy bleed?" during Round And Round, he may have sang that the night before in Portland, but I don't really remember.
Bernard changing a line in Ceremony in Oakland to "Avenue all lined with trees, turn the FUCKING lights off!" was a nice touch, as was his comment about "Excuse me. Still a bunch of fucking hippies, eh? Where's your flowers? They've all withered" later on in the set.
"I've seen what a man can do, i've seen what a kangaroo can do too. WOOOOO!" Cleveland '89, Vanishing Point
Barney
"Thank you very much. Good night, God Bless, and drive carefully on your way home. If you throw $20 on the stage, we'll come back on, or even $10."
12 FEB 87 Enmore Theatre - Sydney, Australia
I'm now subscribed this thread and making additions and corrections to the Gigography
If any of you lot see something that needs to be corrected, or want me to add something, please let me know either here or emailing updates@new-order.net.
Spotnick...this would be a great thread to nail! What would be even better is if one day we can turn may pages into a wiki (hosted on NOOL, since you have the auth info, as otherwise you end up with wiki spam) and allow people to add their reminiscenses or correct what's there.
And check out this link for some of Barney and Hooky's greatest quips.
Two of my faves at the moment:
586 - 14 APR 83 Tiffany's - Glasgow, Scotland
BS: "Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug."
Temptation - 27 JAN 85 Tiffany's - Leeds
BS: "See, we've played that one so much that we can play it."
Australia - Big Day Out 2002 (I think)
Before 60 miles an hour
Bernard: This track is brand new its off our new album. The idea is you have to go out and buy the record tomorrow, that's the point. But you won't do that, cos you're not robots. That's why we love you so much.
Oh, Irvine Meadows, 1987:
Barney: "We've got these faggots in the audience..." Crowd boos, "Yeaaah, everyone. But that's cool, 'cause we don't care." Crowd cheers, "We're New Order and we don't care." Crowd goes nuts. Band plays The Passenger.
Pier 84? 1987 'I know everyone says this but we dolove New York....' Crowd cheers 'The drugs are so cheap here...and plentiful!' Face Up
Woolwich Coronet 2-4-87.
After Way Of Life.....
Barney : This is the first time we've played in ths part of London, and I think I can understand why really.
After ELC.....
Barney : That was one for the more sensitive one's in the audience, now this one's for all the one's who shout a lot...there's nothing wrong with shouting.
After YSF......
Barney : I only wished I was witty instead of being a pissed up bastard.
PIER 84 NY 26-8-87
Before Mlue Monday....
Hooky : Right we're gonna play a Paul Young cover for all you who people who wanted to see Paul Young.
IRVINE MEADOWS 16-6-89
Barney : I'd like to dedicate this set to Pete Defries from Echo & The Bunnymen who died yesterday.
After Dream Attack....
Barney : This is er.... All The Way which is off...er... our last album which is called er...
Hooky : Technique Barney
Barney : Technique yeah thank you
Hooky : See, what a fuckin double act!
After Mr Disco....
Barney : I guess I should do what all the other bands do and say Why don't you all come down the front and enjoy yerself........Because the security staff will stop you, that's why!
After Vanishing Point.....
Barney : Listen right, if you expect me to get into it, you've got to get into it, so, we need a lot of people at the front dancing....I know it's a cliche but it's true.....
Audience member shouts out (can't be made out from bootleg)
Hooky : I beg your pardon, you must be English with a turn of phrase like that....you ugly bastard, where's yer banana?
Before All Day Long....
Barney : This is a song we haven't played live for a very long time so bear with us. Hooky : We're very sorry we couldn't play for longer, but PIL played so fucking long we had to cut our set short, sorry about that.
CLEVELAND 5-7-89
At the end of Mr Disco....
Barney : Ibiza, Majorca, Benidorm too I've searched all those places but never found.... a stupid cunt like you.....thank you very much indeed, make the most of it.
MENA 29-12-98
Before Guilty Partner....
Hooky : Did you get anything nice for Christmas Alex? A new tape recorder? Blank tapes? No Durex in there then yet?
Barney : Ok this song we've never played it before live so bear with us it's called Gulity Partner
The song breaks down after 20 seconds.....
Barney : Like I said it's the first time we've played it so give us a chance, even we make mistakes.......alright, we'll get it right this time just you watch, and if we don't it's part of the charm innit!?!
After True Faith.....
Barney : I don't mind admitting we're a bit tired now, you don't mind if we go off after this next song....but we'll come back on won't we, we just need a little light refreshment....Class A....only joking Steve, you're witnessing the birth of the new new order!
After Temptation....
Barney : I hope you all ike Jazz, cos we're all gonna have a free form Jazz jam....this is our new direction, it's called Love Will Tear Us Apart.
ALLY PALLY 31-12-98
Barney : Hello we're New Order and we're a bit fucked.....but we're still gonna kick the shit outa ya.
After Heart & Soul.....
Hooky : I wish I knew what you were saying cos I'm sure it's so interesting cos you've all got nice friendly faces....for Cockney's.
After Paradise.....
Hooky (taunting the crowd again) Apples and Pears yeahhh?
After the gig:
Alan Wise : A fitting musical ending there, so it's good night from new order and we hope you have a lovely evening.....if yer drinking and driving remember to wear a seat belt, that's from Bernard!
LIVERPOOL 18-7-2001
Before Love Vigilantes....
Barney : Excuse my rather large embarrassing Melodica, I have got a smaller one, but it's not the size that counts is it?
After Close Range.....
Barney : Thank you that reminds me of when I used to be a punk.
Before True Faith.....
Barney : You having a good time? That's not supposed to happen at our gigs.....yer out of order.
Coming back for the encore.....
Barney : Sorry about that, Hooky had to put some Savlon on his arse.....only joking.
Bareny: This is our last song can anyone guess what it is? Audience : Blue Monday Barney : Well done did some say Blue Monday, come and see me afterwords to get a prize.......actually it's called Fuckin Blue Monday now, cos I'm fookin sick of it....only joking.
BS: Thank you very much. As Divine said: "I've had more people in bed than there is in this room tonight"... but not quite as much feedback. 
Crap, we need to get all this stuff SQL'd up and categorized ( lyric rewrites, starting fights with the audience, barney insanities etc) and get the audio's as well :)
Somewhere in 89 I think, possibly a festival.... After all the way, during which Our Beloved Leader has gotten both his guitar AND vocal a whole fscking bar out of time with the rest of them. "Sorry about that, but you gota admit it, it was shit. but the next one's gonna be good tho cos it's all done all by computers" Possibly the same gig... "this is the first festival I've ever been to where the band's been more out of their head than the audience"
Hooky, Kilkenny 83 "this is our nightly request spot, so errrr keep shoutin" Barney same gig "do you really want us to play everythings gone green ( huge cheer) alright, we'll play it" in a voice like Eor. "this is my ceremony guitar, only ever use it for ceramony........it's no 59 Les Paul, but it just suits ceremony, you what it's like, sort ....." Barney plays riff from ceremony very funkily, plays a trial chord and is about to start rambling again when hooky cuts him dead by hurling into the song.
Milan 82, mid way thru Sparks cover version "when I'm with you I neevr feel like garbage, when I'm (shrieeeeeeeeeeek) with you I never feel like feedback."....."this is why we don;t do encores"....."oh this was a bad idea"
Ian, not sure of venue or date... "everythin's fookin bust so we're playing EVERYTHING through the bass amp"
And everything either of them say at the 05 NYC gig is pure gold.
Auckland 1987:-
before launching into "Touched By The Hand Of God" someone in the audience must shout out for a Joy Division number and Barney replies with this classic:-
"We can't play any Joy Division songs cause the singer's dead!"
ULU 25/10/85....too many to single out any individually but there's an 'interesting' variation to the last verse of Love Vigilantes.
"and I said you dirty bastard what are you doing on that floor......" just part of it at ULU that night!
What we need to do is get all of these quips extracted from the recordings and all put onto one disc. Should be a laugh!
Geri wrote: are you volunteering, Tim?
If only I had the time! I haven't been in my house for longer than an hour in the last week (when not asleep) - work is so busy at the moment I don't even have time to read my emails!
...such giving a nice banter a chance...
...Peter Hook @ Reading '93 after playing 'Dream Attack': 'I wanna come down and kiss each and everyone here !'...
Guilty Partner wrote: My personal favourite is during the June 2002 Finsbury Park gig when after a frenzied Ceremony Barney asks "is everybody having a nice time?. Personally, I'd rather be sat at home watching Stars on Sunday, or the World Cup". He then proceeds to waffle on about Stars on Sunday as if he's talking to himself and Hooky just laughs at him with a face that says "you're not stoned mate, why are you talking rubbish!" in a humourous way. Quality.
Thats what makes it worth while.
