I read here on this forum some time ago about some american journalist which publish some photos of Bernard causing problems to his(then) marriage and it seems that was one of the issues to his divorce...Does somebody have this article or the photos...or know which magazine it was??What year?? I would like to see it.Who knows the whole story about it?
Dates
· UTC
Article about some "forbidden" photos...
Archived32 replies · 1,375 views
This is an archived legacy thread. Replies are closed, but the discussion is preserved.
Yeah, Ron Kirsch posted one article a few weeks ago but i can't remember which forum it was on. Apparently it showed a groupie waving Bernards underwear from a balcony and his wife saw it.
Missy Jem wrote: Yeah, Ron Kirsch posted one article a few weeks ago but i can't remember which forum it was on. Apparently it showed a groupie waving Bernards underwear from a balcony and his wife saw it.
What ?? Bernards undercrackers ??? a balcony ??? eeeuuugghhh
You know, those photos really didn't show underwear to me, more like khaki shorts. With all those short shorts he used to wear, him sporting anything that went past his thigh seemed a little impossible.
hmmm the article must have been syndicated cos im sure that in the uk the story ran in smash hits,barney stated in a later interview how he would like to get his hands on the person who published it for all the grief it caused him. so id say its true that the photos were a rumbler to his ex missus.
Mrs.Disco wrote: Thanks for the information guys!!!
do take a look at the my vault series over at behind closed doors.
mike powell wrote: hmmm the article must have been syndicated cos im sure that in the uk the story ran in smash hits,barney stated in a later interview how he would like to get his hands on the person who published it for all the grief it caused him. so id say its true that the photos were a rumbler to his ex missus.
mine is from smash hits australia.
Ronald Kirsch wrote: shit i did think it was this article. you guys mean this?
I've heard rumours about that story but never seen the article till now!
Nice one, Ron 
I dont remember this in Smash Hits though I have quite a bundle of this mag ( pre-1984 I must added, cuz anything after that were really crap when Aussies get their own version and all you ever find in them were PSEUDO ECHO, KIDS IN THE KITCHEN or WAA WAA NEE ) in the storeroom somewhere.
I do have lots with Gary Numan on the cover cuz I was a NUMANOID back then 
Ronald Kirsch wrote: shit i did think it was this article. you guys mean this?
is their anyway to read this?
it looks reasonable readable on my screen. print it out or get one of them nice big plasma screens.
Ronald Kirsch wrote: it looks reasonable readable on my screen. print it out or get one of them nice big plasma screens.
No I can't read it either on screen or print, always wondered whether this article really existed!
Ness Order wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote: it looks reasonable readable on my screen. print it out or get one of them nice big plasma screens.
No I can't read it either on screen or print, always wondered whether this article really existed!
DITTO.
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
Mrs.Disco wrote: Thanks for the information guys!!!
do take a look at the my vault series over at behind closed doors.
I couldnt find them. What page mate?
Managed with a bit of eye strain to decipher the entertaining bit, here is a summary:
Barney "I could have any amount of drink or anything, warehouses full of women, but I don't want all that - it'd do me head in."
If it hadn't been for the hidden message in his Huckleberry Hound Annual story he may never have embarked on his musical career.
He said he was going to bed to sleep and girl's giggling could be heard in the room, then the girls appeared on the balcony the next morning with the shorts and the band had vanished.
NO Regret wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
Mrs.Disco wrote: Thanks for the information guys!!!
do take a look at the my vault series over at behind closed doors.
I couldnt find them. What page mate?
scroll back a few pages. there should be at least seven threads there.
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
NO Regret wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
Mrs.Disco wrote: Thanks for the information guys!!!
do take a look at the my vault series over at behind closed doors.
I couldnt find them. What page mate?
scroll back a few pages. there should be at least seven threads there.
Nah. still cant find them (went back 7 pages) What title am i looking for?
I wonder how many times Barney and Peter got caught with their pants down? Loads I expect. Gotta feel for Steve and Gillian. They really must have had to put up with a lot of sh*t. Just imagine the aftermath of one of them getting caught sh*gging around. Spilt the band up or give extra vitriol to their lyrics?
Ness Order wrote: Managed with a bit of eye strain to decipher the entertaining bit, here is a summary:
Barney "I could have any amount of drink or anything, warehouses full of women, but I don't want all that - it'd do me head in."
If it hadn't been for the hidden message in his Huckleberry Hound Annual story he may never have embarked on his musical career.
He said he was going to bed to sleep and girl's giggling could be heard in the room, then the girls appeared on the balcony the next morning with the shorts and the band had vanished.
Jesus, did he really say "warehouses full of women"??? Maybe we can allow for the fact that he was young then so as to not ruin my illusion of him being the most perfect man in the world...whoops or no whoops.
Nick King wrote: Does anyone have a bigger scan of this that's readable?
Cheers! :)
What's to read? - we have a picture of Bernard with no top on.
just typed this out quickly, what I could read of it. Very spinal tap 
enjoy;)
New Order
“It’s just home-movies really – just to remind us.” And ??? the pair of them sidle – Gillian to look for a new handbag and a MacDonalds and Steve for the very boring soundcheck. Afterwards he’s found lurking in their dressing-room which sports wall to wall ?sarnies? and floor-to ceiling alcohol – scoffing his face with about 17 “nice” biscuits. “America’s a funny place…” remarks Steve. “Don’t know if I quite believe everything the people say. And it’s all sell sell all the time. Can’t stand that. And MTV! David Lee Roth’s groin every minute of the day. And Journey. And Tina Turner. They don’t’like us much either!. I’ve never once seen any of our videos on there. “Mind you – Japan’s worse than America … Now that’s weird. They’re all so polite – gets on your nerves a bit really. And then they’ve got all this pornography on their tellys! Ah… suppressed if you ask me… all that politeness and all that pornography… weird. And they’ve got live chickens in plastic bags! It’s like the middle-ages! Straaaaaaange..” And off he rambles some more about how “seedy”china is and how he much prefers being at home with Gillian in their “cosy terraced house in Macclesfield with a garden, a Volvo and a dog. And a hoover.” But wait! A head appears around the door. It’s the errant Barney. “Er… I can’t talk to you just now because I’ve got to do me soundcheck. “ Surprise!
A very snoozesome two hours pass of more soundchecking and arguments about which songs to play – Gillian being the one who eventually sorts them all out – until .. they’re ON! And the packed-out “house” full of be-miniskirted young nubiles and American-“style” blokes in Bruce Springsteen-type ?breeks? teeter on their chairs and flail their arms about shrieking and hollering when Barney so much as even sniffs into the microphone. The concert isn’t the most thrillsome event ever witnessed – New Order looking distinctly bored by the whole thing and Barney screeching to be heard above a not-very good “sound”(man). Later this is to be blamed on “technical faults”, but for now the band shuffle off without an encore and the crowd file out looking rather bamboozled bye the whole thing. Swizz! A quick jaunt round to the dressing-room, however, reveals some much more interesting “goings” on. Never before in the history of hero worship have there ever been quite so many girlies swarming around a dressing room, clamouring ‘n squawking and each other jostling for the merest glimpse of their idols – mainly, it seems, Barney. The worshipped one’s spiky hair ($50 a time – a snip?) is just visible amongst them. “I didn’t’ask them back!” he shrieks – then swings off into the sunset with a very suspicious smirk on his face. We pursue! Back in his hotel he finally concedes to a spell of quiet “conversation”… So – tell us Barney, just why were all those girls in the dressing room? “I don’t want you going on about the girls!” ?screeches!? Barney very haughtily and proceeds to grab the tape-recoreder and switch it off. “It’s nothing to do with me - I didn’t let them in.” He switches the tape back on. “I was signing autographs.” A long silence and a stubborn stare follows. I don’t believe you. Barney shrugs his shoulders and looks away.. he’s not going to utter another syllable on the subject. But you live with your girlfriend back in Manchester, don’t you? Swipe! Barney repossesses the tape-recorder and rewinds it over the dreaded word “girlfriend”. A very touch subject… “Look! That’s my private life and I’m going to keep it that way. I’ve had too many holes dug in my life already and that’s not going to be another one.” Oh dear. What Barney will talk about, though, is how much he doesn’t want to be a “star”- how much he “treasures” being able to walk down the street un-noticed, how he’d rather New Order didn’t get much more successful because “it’d do me head in. And I’d much rather lose me voice every night and people think I wasn’t much good than lose me brain.” He’s also very willing to talk about how he doesn’t feel particularly “lucky” to be spending the vast majority of his life swanning around in ?$1000? Hotels all over the world, because “I’ve squeezed the brains through me nose to get what I’ve got – I deserve it. I could have any amount of drink or anything, warehouses full of women – but I don’t want all of that – it’d do me head in. We’re clever y’see – that’s how New Order operates. I’d certainly rather be here in the sunshine than back at home in the pissin’ rain. I’m no fool…” Mmmm. A lot of people do think you could be somewhat … erm, mad though. “Mad? Er… I supposed I can be… I like that though because I don’t like normality, normal lifestyles. I make a point of never ever watching any soap operas back home – except Dallas because that’s a bit mad… but anything else is just too normal. I hate normality. It scares the shit out of me. If I ended up like that… I’d be insane. Every day’s got to be different, that’s why I wanted to do this in the first place… and you know why that is?” No. “Because when I was 10, I had a Huckleberry Hound annual. And there was this story where Huckleberry had this really boring job – a postman or something – and he kept on having to do all these really boring post jobs until one day (dramatic pause) he got this job flying parcels over a shark-infested sea – and one engine of the plane was permantently broken. And that’s when it ???? dawned on me – as a ten year old kid – that that could happen to me – that I could be swallowed up by the rat-race. “And that was the first time I realised that adults may not be right – and what your teacher told you in school many not be right. Just because everyone in your street has a nine-to-five job you assume you’ll do the same when you grow up. You never assume that everyone in your street could be wrong. But I ?did?. And I was right. Damn right.” And with that he springs up and out of the room – obviously well chuffed with the ???? his final statement. Next door in his room Barney can be heard ushering out all the masses who’ve been waiting for a popstar-strewn party. “I’m too tired” Barney tries, “I just want to got to sleep.” Ten minutes later some very un-male-like giggling can be heard resounding through the walls – is Barney having some very restless dreams?
Next morning. American foxtresses?? are spotted scurrying gleefully?? along the hotel balcony holding aloft a pair of very horrible shorts bearing a striking resemblance to Barney’s very own. How very, very “strange”. Swiftly we trundle downstairs to confront Barney who’s supposed to be having breakfast at this very second. The restaurant looms… and it’s empty. They’ve gone. The entire New Order “entourage” GONE! Without so much as a measly “fond” farewell. Some we hadn’t really expected one.
Thank you Mari for your super human vision helping us out - going to all the trouble of typing that up!
mil wrote: Thank you Mari for your super human vision helping us out - going to all the trouble of typing that up!
Actually, I have glasses, minus 8
I was just looking for a reason not to study, and I thought you shouldn't miss out on this one;)
