The Emergency Room

Having been blessed with the good fortune to receive digital technology in my televisual unit via a rather awkward looking mini-satellite dish wedged beneath the guttering at the back of my home ... I was able to enjoy (almost 3 weeks before terrestrial t.v.! I might add) the 'new' series of E.R. (The Emergency Room).

To my shock and amazement, followed by a sense of joy and pride ... in one of the scenes the hit song '61Miles to the Gallon' was clearly audible as that scrawny chicken lass knocked on the door of the rather suave Doctor Kuavac (pronounced Co-vash) who subsequently invited her in to enjoy crisps together with dip. Albeit sped-up as all songs in films are (why is that?) ... I still enjoyed the trans-atlantic cross-over of New Order to a BIG American show which I've heard airs in almost 5 other countries than the U.K.!!! ...

... well then, you could have stopped me in my tracks.

For anyone else out there in Cyber Spain who enjoys 'The Emergency Department' surely Peter's Hook would be an excellent replacement for Dr. Peter Benton who has recenty left the hospital ward for imminent fame and fortune in Hollywood? ... or possibly Stevey 'The Boy' Morris as a pneuro-surgeon with the outstanding and courageous ability to patch up farmyard animals with his bare fists?

The possibilities ... I'm sure you'd agree, are endless.

What's all that squeaking and squealing, are you a bit rusty? If your really real why aren't you really you? Huntsman still exists, forgotten your password?

That first paragraph could do with more work. Surely there's a better Huntsmanism for 'home' and as for 'television unit' pah.

... 'televisual unit' wanky if we're splitting hairlines, what about cat house instead of home?

Is digitalis telesavalis all it's crackling'd up to be? I ask this as I may be the owner of a defective w-w-i-i-d-d-e-e-s-s-c-c-r-r-e-e-n-n telesavalis box, when i watch the Premiership with Bob Wilson and Ali Mcoist and occasionally El Tel pops up..something weird happens when the camera pans quickly to keep up with play, normally just after the ball has left the boot of Jamie Carragher...the screen starts to pixelate like it does when I'm viewing the video for Bacon Lettuce & Tomato . What's going on? is this new fangled technique unable to process all the shiny shell suits in the crowd quickly enough? I'd demand me money back, if i'd payed any in the first place. Major, can I complain to trading standards or is it necessary to make a purchase first?

If the 'Pool kept it on the deck a bit more often this wouldn't be an issue would it Hanky? It's probably the cameramans revenge for the mighty reds given him a sore neck having to keep pointing the lens skywards....

Hunter - good to see you back mate..just don't start the posting to yourself stuff - suspicions may arise about you in fact being Karen James et al...

intersting set of points wanker ... unfortunately skyball or itv digital-on-its-way-out of hand both suffer the compression as found in compressed JPEG files (notable on digital camera images) ... any quick panning and the system shits itself scrambling for updates. Here's one for you wank ... get in tonight and put the box on, sit near the screen i.e. so your one good eye is about 10 cm from the fucking screen and you'll notice (provided your eye is clean) that 'everything' is blocky john and the get fresh crew. The only reason you notice this beef jerky effect ordinarily is when your sat on your sofa (or wheel) and a decent corner is taken i.e. when the camera is on pan out johnny.

also noticeable when the adverts crop up and there's a small 'screens gone black' delay ... get up close to that and its like the worst porn image you ever did download as a gif file.

aside from that wise backside have you seen the 24 hour film yet? ... i'm on my way tonight (i would have been there on opening night but an urgent matter came up blah blah fucking blah) ... i guess what i need is some reassurance that it isn't complete shite hawk ... you know, as the typical british made film recently made usually is. i must say, when i heard steven cooter was tony whipsnake i nearly passed out.

don't give the story away though ...

Originally posted by Seb Briggs If the 'Pool kept it on the deck a bit more often this wouldn't be an issue would it Hanky? It's probably the cameramans revenge for the mighty reds given him a sore neck having to keep pointing the lens skywards....Hunter - good to see you back mate..just don't start the posting to yourself stuff - suspicions may arise about you in fact being Karen James et al...

yes, it only happened once - it is in fact a cunt of an idea and i did realise this. give me some fucking credit bitch. onwards and upwards ... good to be back, i expect nothing but pops at me whenever possible, and i intend to play it up this time ... no more mr. nice guy.

would you like to go out for a meal some time?

Hunts, have your marbles been lost in the post? What the fuck gives with all this f'ing and c'ing?

Originally posted by Muffy, Karens EX plaything!! Hunts, have your marbles been lost in the post? What the fuck gives with all this f'ing and c'ing?

oops sorry muff ... i got a bit excited, i'd just eaten a bag of wheat crunchies. no marbles lost, its still me.

muff have you seen the 24hr film? ...

I'm a 48hr party pooper virgin until tonight as well. Something to do with Sainsburys and a missus who is uncannily frugal(that's working in an accountants for ya) We will be both viewing it for combined fee of about £2.50 with our reward voucher for purchasing about £500.00 worth of groceries and red and white wine and some lager, though I'm still awaiting a top tip from Shugzv re. San Miguel being given away in the Corby region, could even be worth a 'booze cruise' It will be miraculous if I don't say 'aha' about 5 times while Coogan is on screen, still 5 less than I normally manage, you mentalist spastic!

Originally posted by Huntsman > Originally posted by Muffy, Karens EX plaything!!> Hunts, have your marbles been lost in the post? What the fuck gives with all this f'ing and c'ing?> >

oops sorry muff ... i got a bit excited, i'd just eaten a bag of wheat crunchies. no marbles lost, its still me.

muff have you seen the 24hr film? ...

Yep, the first hour is decent but it's all down the hole after that. Over all, a pile o' pish! The soundtrack's good though.

Originally posted by Seb Briggs If the 'Pool kept it on the deck a bit more often this wouldn't be an issue would it Hanky? It's probably the cameramans revenge for the mighty reds given him a sore neck having to keep pointing the lens skywards....

Damn I tried to get all the Liverpool gags in first, I think the cameraman's dad should have brought him up to have more respect for 25 years of not playing with a forward purchased for his heading ability, kids today!

poo ... i f@!%ing knew it. as i suggested back when i first heard they were bodging this film together ... 'it'll be crap'.

what with this AND harry potist moon beast have you not considered taking over from Jonathan wross in film 2003?

wank i would suggest to gather your collection of fine wines and treat yourself to a blockbuster beauty ... otherwise you'll have squandered that 1 and nine your lass lent you on a sack of shit.

smuffler i was going to pop to claim the 'here to state' combo cd's later on today - do you happen to know if the versions are any different from your most recent and possibly most beautiful package? ... i'll be buying them anyhow but wanted to know if there was a trinket or 3 on the cards for me now the disappointment of the films set in.

cheers cat.

24hrpp is decent enough. Don't expect too much of the 'Order and you won't be too disappointed.

It does at times come over as a bit of a nostalgia trip for you old gits mind you...when the e's were pure and everyone just loved each other man

Huntsman, despite the somewhat disregard of my welcome back note...I ask you why the sudden reappearance? Is it to renew your feud with Boisvert, who also seems to be having trouble keeping off the board at the mo.

O/T....have you ever seen a Monkfish? Evil bastards.

In case you missed my greeting on another thread, welcome back, Huntso. You were sorely missed.

Originally posted by Huntsman poo ... i f@!%ing knew it. as i suggested back when i first heard they were bodging this film together ... 'it'll be crap'.what with this AND harry potist moon beast have you not considered taking over from Jonathan wross in film 2003?

Funny you should mention that Moleface. I was actually up for the bob-a-job when he took over from Barry the foreman, alas my legendary tongue could'nt get far enough up the powers that be when the casting couch was wheeled out!

Originally posted by Patrick In case you missed my greeting on another thread, welcome back, Huntso. You were sorely missed.

I concur, I aimed at least ten jibes his way during his absence and I'm sore if they missed.

Originally posted by Huntsman smuffler i was going to pop to claim the 'here to state' combo cd's later on today - do you happen to know if the versions are any different from your most recent and possibly most beautiful package? ... i'll be buying them anyhow but wanted to know if there was a trinket or 3 on the cards for me now the disappointment of the films set in.cheers cat.

There's nothing on the HTS cd's you don't already have old fruit. 'Cept for the DVD, which obviously has the video.

Originally posted by Huntsman

well stone the proverbial crows!!!

apologies to the snake ... thanks for the welcome back rattle snout, it was noted and it made me weak with hunger. i was overwhelmed and had to call you something awful in return ... i am ashamed ... i have failed. (actually, i thought it was quite funny).

well rats i'm back because i miss the japes, absolutely arbitrary i might add - i never had any big plans for a calculated return i'm afraid, just when i got the chance to 'log-on' ... as me bird says. i don't intend to make any bother with boisy o ranyone (never did though did i) ... his misgivings about me will have to be settled in his own stomach as i still have no idea why he was banging on about.

hello to the 'p man' - hopefully we can rekindle some passionate debates about the length of certain trousers.

can we please (and excuse me not being in up-to-date) have a unanimous yes, 'here to eat pies' is definately a fucking cracker!? ... the end chorus is like listening to a siren in the greek myths, it is brillianteen.

affirmative Hunts, HTS is a gem. Been meaning to ask, as the evil arch enemy of the remix format...what is your opinion on the equally sparkling Felix Da Housecat offering?

muffbox i quite like the video to here we stand its ace in the hole. having seen bernard turn his weight into almost a member of the fattest larry's band of brothers is quite odd watching john sim as barney look like a tick of rock walking up the road. seems a thousand years away that the order where slimline ... even the boy morris seems to have eaten a tad too many crates of salmon. hooky is always better for having a large mane also, his skinhead looks a bit naughty.

i don't even mind some of the mixes of this song i hate to here to state ... except that one which starts well but they've over-egg'd barney's vocal pudding with enough reverb to sink a battle cruiser.

incidentally muffy, we could have done film 2002 together ... as follows:

muff: yes, harry potist was average hunts: yes, it was shite hawks

muff: we went to LA and had some laughs with bitches hunts: yes, it was great

hunts: muff is going to review the next film now muff: its shit

and so on ...

jross has fuck all on us.

Yes, H, HTS is very fine.

Have you a view about the Housecat remix? See "Pussy" thread for my enthusiastic praise.

I'm not sure about debating trousers, though, unless they have "Regret" embroidered somewhere.

Originally posted by ShugZV > Originally posted by Hank Wiseass©> I'm a 48hr party pooper virgin until tonight as well. Something to do with Sainsburys and a missus who is uncannily frugal(that's working in an accountants for ya) We will be both viewing it for combined fee of about £2.50 with our reward voucher for purchasing about £500.00 worth of groceries and red and white wine and some lager, though I'm still awaiting a top tip from Shugzv re. San Miguel being given away in the Corby region, could even be worth a 'booze cruise' It will be miraculous if I don't say 'aha' about 5 times while Coogan is on screen, still 5 less than I normally manage, you mentalist spastic!

Hanky - That special offer of The large bottles of Silvino Francisco lasted only for 1 weekend, needless to say, the word shot round Corby in about 3 miliseconds - they sold out on the Saturday dunno how much you've gotta spend - but the word on the street is 24 bottles of carling (330cl) for a tenner - have you got a BOOZEBUSTERS near you (supposedly a posher word for Cellar5 ) I advise you get at least 3 crates - 2 mouthfuls of lager and the bastards disappear into oblivion;) If yer a bit hard up me ole mucker - a 3 litre bottle of rocket fuel (White lightning cider) usually goes fer a measly £4 - just don't smoke any fags while drinking it More promotions next week;)

Carling is Satans piss Shugster...its fuckin' awful . In Landahn, we have this wikkid shop called 'CostCutter'. It sells 3 litres of White LIghtning for about £2.50, and has very good beer offers each month. This month it's 15 bottles of Stella for a tenner, or 4 bottles of Kronenberg for £2.50. The place is rapidly turning me into a lush.

... always with the regret!!!

felix da-household cat mix i'm not familiar with, only because i bang the cd in my bomber and file the sleeve in the same movement of the hand to eye. i'll have a look at your heaped praise but from what i've listened to i couldn't get overly excited. the best version is the radio edit followed by the slightly longer one with hooky's bass riff at the end instead of the vocals (as on the radio edit). player in the loopdog is, unfortunatley, dog turd. i couldn't wait to play it and despite my defiant biast to the order i had to admit that it was poor ... i'd go so far as to say it was as bad as rts and that other one off getting things ready about beer and the wind. it does beg the question which league? ... not a very good one i 'reckon.

shrug / snake ... i might be an old bastard but surely the only beer to ingest is 'budweiser'. i know its popular throughout the world which makes it instantly as cool as a lump of seagull dollop ... but for taste, you can't beat it? ... its not the king of beers for nothing you know.

down in the north snake face we have a similar shop to your cost slicer .. its called 'bells' as owned by a les bell ... it sells buckets of slightly dated beer of all shapes, tastes and sizes for about a pound for the whole lot but when you need a very cold beer with substance ... its a budweiser ... i like pepsi max mostly but that really is a bit girly.

If you were amongst the trendy yoof of this country, of which I count myself a member, you would know that the league of bottled Beers is approxiamately in this order

1: Kronenburg 2: Stella 3: San Miguel 4: Grolsch 5: Labbatt Ice

Can't really count myself a fan of bottle Bud, but I do like it on tap.

Pepsi Max, as you say, is for girls.

Shug they do have Bargain Booze round my way, though if they were giving away cider in more literal sense than they were giving away San Miguel in Corby, I'd still pass. I drank it almost exclusively until I was 22' and only one can since, I blame it for my bad memory.....what was I saying.....oh yeah. As soon as room 101 is resurrected I'll be complaining about Bargain Booze.

Actually I sort of like Player, Huntso.

I only mentioned Regret because I couldn't figure out the trousers reference.

We will all be interested in your Siskel & Ebert on the Housecat mix.

Originally posted by Seb Briggs If you were amongst the trendy yoof of this country, of which I count myself a member, you would know that the league of bottled Beers is approxiamately in this order1: Kronenburg 2: Stella3: San Miguel4: Grolsch5: Labbatt IceCan't really count myself a fan of bottle Bud, but I do like it on tap.Pepsi Max, as you say, is for girls.

i'm not a trendy yoof you 'lahndaner' ... i'm a thick set northern biscuit chewer who likes like he should be starring in 'saved by the fucking bell'. i realise sticking my neck out on the budweiser tack implies i'm a sissy but i say fuck it. i'm also a veggie so things are never very pleasant for me with my 'rougher' mates who enjoy bashing each other of a friday night (not their bischops i hasten to add).

your list i understand ... apart from no. 5 which i thought was an ice cream, surely bud is in there somewhere? ... what is your - ignorant?

now ... i'm off to listen to felix-da-mouse mat mix for p's sake. i fear it will be horses arses.

shrug ... ringtons tea is the most thirst quenching beverage on earth ... it doesn't get you larried but its nectre and has been known to make wolves cry out in pain.

Originally posted by ShugZV > Originally posted by Huntsman> shrug / snake ... i might be an old bastard but surely the only beer to ingest is 'budweiser'. i know its popular throughout the world which makes it instantly as cool as a lump of seagull dollop ... but for taste, you can't beat it? ... its not the king of beers for nothing you know.> >

Huntsibiddydoodah - Buddyhollyo Can't stomach the stuff - although the advertismento's are coolio than ricardo madelyn doin his Alberto Gianfranco sketcheley's;) The only time I go near that stuff - is when I'm already several dirty blankets to the weather. Sebsidydoohdah - Will Carling IS pretty disgusting But it goes down as easy as Gillian Taylforth;)

Have you been drinking?

... you are unable to stop.

which ain't no bad thing.

spread the love boys.

patty can you 'write' how the felix-da-mouse mat version sounds in no more than 5 words? ... i am stuck in me office with a great deal of papyrus work and am unable to sneak down to my bomber. so many clients make so many demands and not one of them seem to realise its almost 'friday nights 'gonna be alrights going to be alrights going to be alrights now baby.

Originally posted by ShugZV > Originally posted by Huntsman> shrug / snake ... i might be an old bastard but surely the only beer to ingest is 'budweiser'. i know its popular throughout the world which makes it instantly as cool as a lump of seagull dollop ... but for taste, you can't beat it? ... its not the king of beers for nothing you know.> >

Huntsibiddydoodah - Buddyhollyo Can't stomach the stuff - although the advertismento's are coolio than ricardo madelyn doin his Alberto Gianfranco sketcheley's;) The only time I go near that stuff - is when I'm already several dirty blankets to the weather. Sebsidydoohdah - Will Carling IS pretty disgusting But it goes down as easy as Gillian Taylforth;)

shrug ... i detest them singing bullfrogs, they bring the whole budweiser thing down in my estimations. also, that advert we're people phone each other shouting 'whatz up' ... i mean, its only a friggin drink. they should have considered folk like us when they invented them there ads. which make me look a duck egg in the local public house. can i have a budweiser please kind sir i ask these days ... 'whatzzzup' comes the reply. shut your knob up i'm thinking, just pour the drink and pass me some vegetarian pork scratchings you jockey.

ps gillian taylforth .. the human equialent of a moving goose?

Originally posted by Huntsman patty can you 'write' how the felix-da-mouse mat version sounds in no more than 5 words? ... i am stuck in me office with a great deal of papyrus work and am unable to sneak down to my bomber. so many clients make so many demands and not one of them seem to realise its almost 'friday nights 'gonna be alrights going to be alrights going to be alrights now baby.

It's the one with "Set me free" chorus, as Spotnick pointed out. Also it has the extraordinarily deep sound carrying much of the melody that is produced I do not know how.

More than five words, and not very descriptive at that, I'm afraid, H.

You don't seriously like Budweiser, do you, Huntsy? Tell me you're joking!

It's track 3 of 6 on the promo CD; I'm not sure whether that's the form you have.

pastie ... ahhh yes ... i'm aware of this product. yes i have the promo cd thanks to mr. muffman (generous as ever). i don't mind this version and the deep (yet treble worthy) sequenced synth bass sounds with a smidging of chorus, flange and phase shift are truly quite polished. unfortunately (as always - typical i know) i do not, repeat, am unable to stomach the over zealous reverb setting as chosen to paste onto bernard's vocal line. why did they want him to sound like he was in a canyon? ... apart from that its an acceptable collection of beeps and clicks.

i do like budwesier ... bud ice. i was a tee total jimmy until about 1997 (when i was 56) ... my current bird introduced me to the forces of evil and bud was the gently entry into this world. perhaps that is why i stuck with it. i do genuinely enjoy the drink. my dad drinks guiness which i equate to eating a sunday lunch. sorry to disappoint my friend. in order to gain some lost cred. here is a very small list of my top 5 drinks (along the seb briggs line of thought):

1. ringtons tea (english tea - absolutely unbelievable)
2. pepsi-max (quench my thirst please)
3. whisky and diet coke (nice)
4. coffee
5. budweiser
6. horlicks
7. intergalactic space juice (as released via the soda-stream chain of fizzy drinks shortly after the relase of 'battle beyond the stars'

that was 7, but that ain't anything that's going to cause problems in the future. in order to form a complete 10 i'd have to introduce milk (fully skimmed) and various other lightly flavoured cordials which would be pure guesswork.

p what did you think of the extended instrumental? ... a waste of time or good for a karaoke machine?

shrugsville too many ideas about the bud advert. how come they went for frogs and a play on the words' what is upstairs'?

there is no style anymore. couldn't pete saville do the next campaign taking one shot of a tree and colouring it brown sort of like the bottle and accompany all adverts with the word 'why' with no question mark for added pith.

the possibilities are endless.

frogs indeed (what's wrong with ferrets?)

Yorkshire tea is by far the best tea...The 'Stella' of all tea bags.

Other drinks worthy of mention are Orange juice&Lemonade, Vodka (Absolut with Lemon if poss) and Coke with loadsa ice, and those Mars milkshakes. Quality.

Did anyone see their Weird Nature program on TV last night? Quality again. It had this breed of badger which joins forces with a breed of bird to hunt honey together. Also a fish parasite which also has a fondness for a blokes japs-eye. One for the diary..THursday nights at 8.30. BBC1.

I think I only listened to the extended instrumental once so far, so I guess it didn't do much for me.

I will try to focus on what's been done to the vocal on the Housecat mix, but it is definitely not the vocal parts of that mix that do it for me. The last three minutes just make me ecstatic.

In the beer universe, I tend to drink the big H (not you, Huntsy). I prefer Absolut and OJ though.

Originally posted by Patrick I think I only listened to the extended instrumental once so far, so I guess it didn't do much for me.I will try to focus on what's been done to the vocal on the Housecat mix, but it is definitely not the vocal parts of that mix that do it for me. The last three minutes just make me ecstatic.In the beer universe, I tend to drink the big H (not you, Huntsy). I prefer Absolut and OJ though.

what the friggin hell is the big 'h' ... a full horlicks brew?

i'll listen to the mouse mat mix on the way homeward bound patty and take note of the last 3 mins. which i think is a n 80's style add part build up isn't it?

snakey feet ... footy on thursday nights for me so i'm going to miss this program that you've promoted so well. that dual animal combo sounds tremendous ... can it fly?

80's style add part build up? I don't know what that means; I only know I like it.

Heinekin, Huntsy. Very cold.

Originally posted by ShugZV > Originally posted by Patrick> I think I only listened to the extended instrumental once so far, so I guess it didn't do much for me.> > I will try to focus on what's been done to the vocal on the Housecat mix, but it is definitely not the vocal parts of that mix that do it for me. The last three minutes just make me ecstatic.>

Agreed Patsy - never listen to the extended instru myself - a couple of times was enough for me....Quite like the vocals on Da Pussy's remix;) still not keen on the scumbag mix either though (for what it's worth)

I plan never to listen to the scum remix again, Shugsy. Life is too short to waste any part of it listening to that thing more than once.

The badger can't fly unfortunately...it still has to be seen to be believed...the bird guides the badger to the beehive by flying above him to the nearest load of honey. The badger then gets all the honey he wants, but at the same time breaks a big lot of honeycomb off for the bird to eat. Tape it Huntsy...if not sod the football.

p-man ... Heineken's not bad actually. good selection.

80's synth part build up explained:

song starts song flows music stops but drums continue (to keep the momentum) slowly after each 8 bar passage one of the instruments is added back until the final explosion at the end i.e.:

drums then synth string percussion bass guitar and so on then ....

boom!

Originally posted by Seb Briggs The badger can't fly unfortunately...it still has to be seen to be believed...the bird guides the badger to the beehive by flying above him to the nearest load of honey. The badger then gets all the honey he wants, but at the same time breaks a big lot of honeycomb off for the bird to eat. Tape it Huntsy...if not sod the football.

... superb.

so the badger knows to reward the bird with grub? ... nice one. have they got microchips in their brains or is it all done with intensive training? - either way it sounds excellent. what happens if either animal is wounded by a weapon? ... does the badger know to stock on honey in his pockets or are they both fucked if one man is down in the line of fire?

if a farmer shoots the buzzard who wins? - after all, once the badger knows some of the birds routes he's sorted.

Why did Huntsman have to come back?

I would like to officially resign my post as funniest person on this board.

I'm not sure that that's what happens on the Housecat mix, Huntsy, but I look forward to hearing your verdict on further listens.

Originally posted by Seb Briggs If you were amongst the trendy yoof of this country, of which I count myself a member, you would know that the league of bottled Beers is approxiamately in this order1: Kronenburg 2: Stella3: San Miguel4: Grolsch5: Labbatt IceCan't really count myself a fan of bottle Bud, but I do like it on tap.Pepsi Max, as you say, is for girls.

How can Kronenbourg be your first choice ? As a Belgian, I simply don't understand how people can drink french bier. It is as if people would drink belgian wine :\puke:. Stella, your second choice, is OK, but it's not the best belgian "pils" beer. IMO, Jupiler and Maes are better. And if you really want to discover what belgian beer can be, try a "trapist" beer like Chimay (specially the one with the blue label), or any "gueuze" or "lambic" beer (except the ones that are brewed by Belle-Vue: 100% industrial products). Amongst other good beers you have Duvel, Leffe, Grimbergen, Maredsous, etc.

Originally posted by Major Tarantino Why did Huntsman have to come back?I would like to officially resign my post as funniest person on this board.

You'll always wear the crown as the man who bought Hooky for 17.49, Major.

Bees are clever HUnts, they keep moving their hives. This bird knows every beehive in a 250kilometre radius. Amazing. I'd imagine were the farmer to shoot the bird the badger would probably throw a spaz and attack the farmer. Mind you if the farmer was clever he'd follow the bird as well and nick all the rest of the honey.

There was this other maaaaad bit with dolphins helping fishermen to catch fish but I cant be arsed to go through it now.

Shugster did you see the bit with the parasite/japs-eye? Superb, if a little repulsive.

Da Housepussy mix rules. I think much of his last album was based on 80's electro, and the influence on the mix is obvious. I'm tempted to hunt for it and give it a listen.

Originally posted by Teal'c, the Jaffa who defeated Apophis > Originally posted by Seb Briggs> If you were amongst the trendy yoof of this country, of which I count myself a member, you would know that the league of bottled Beers is approxiamately in this order> > 1: Kronenburg > 2: Stella> 3: San Miguel> 4: Grolsch> 5: Labbatt Ice> > Can't really count myself a fan of bottle Bud, but I do like it on tap.> > Pepsi Max, as you say, is for girls.

How can Kronenbourg be your first choice ? As a Belgian, I simply don't understand how people can drink french bier. It is as if people would drink belgian wine :\puke:. Stella, your second choice, is OK, but it's not the best belgian "pils" beer. IMO, Jupiler and Maes are better. And if you really want to discover what belgian beer can be, try a "trapist" beer like Chimay (specially the one with the blue label), or any "gueuze" or "lambic" beer (except the ones that are brewed by Belle-Vue: 100% industrial products). Amongst other good beers you have Duvel, Leffe, Grimbergen, Maredsous, etc.

it's fair to say I've never heard of any of your suggestions there matey - though I'll hunt for other Belgian beers in the future. Stella was my number one for the last year and a half...but it's just too heavy. You can drink 3 pints of Kroney and not have any hangover...just a sniff of Stella leaves me in a grouch for the next 24 hours. Cheers anyway for the suggestions

Snakey ... i recently picked up a small nugget of information that i've been itching to release to you. get this, a dogs temporary memory only lasts approx. 20 minutes ... whereas a cat has enough capacity to remember short term gear for a whopping 16 hours!!! - check it!

so when you trod on the cat by accident it will be miffed for almost a day (if you stood on it at 6am in the morning) - but you can belt a dog on the snout and the idiot won't recall past half an hour. how amazing is that, aren't animals great.

theoretically you could program a cat to go to the shops, acquire goods (as per your own written list) - get home, discuss it! AND be able to remember the whole event in the SAME FUCKING DAY! ... give a dog the quest to go into the garage to fetch some carrier bags and he's knackered? ... chances are he'll remain in the garage forever and you'll only ever notice when you find bones stuck in the wheely bin ... because the daft arse thought the carrier bags where in there!?

how mad is that? ... answer ... very mad.

Originally posted by Patrick > Originally posted by Major Tarantino> Why did Huntsman have to come back?> > I would like to officially resign my post as funniest person on this board.

You'll always wear the crown as the man who bought Hooky for 17.49, Major.

True... (he's still here you know, looks a bit unwell... i'd better feed him)

Major ... i don't tell jokes and i can't speak any other way than i does. sos. cat - combined we can rule the universe and destroy anything or anyone that falls into our pan of fritters! ... i had to come back i thought i'd left my shoes here.

Originally posted by ShugZV right I'm away for a few frames of snooker and quite possibly a coople of beers;)enjoy work guys catch up with you nutters laterIt's been said already but, It's good to have you back Huntsibidy The place is getting back to its old self!

cheers cat face.

Originally posted by Huntsman Snakey ... i recently picked up a small nugget of information that i've been itching to release to you. get this, a dogs temporary memory only lasts approx. 20 minutes ... whereas a cat has enough capacity to remember short term gear for a whopping 16 hours!!! - check it!so when you trod on the cat by accident it will be miffed for almost a day (if you stood on it at 6am in the morning) - but you can belt a dog on the snout and the idiot won't recall past half an hour. how amazing is that, aren't animals great.theoretically you could program a cat to go to the shops, acquire goods (as per your own written list) - get home, discuss it! AND be able to remember the whole event in the SAME FUCKING DAY! ... give a dog the quest to go into the garage to fetch some carrier bags and he's knackered? ... chances are he'll remain in the garage forever and you'll only ever notice when you find bones stuck in the wheely bin ... because the daft arse thought the carrier bags where in there!?how mad is that? ... answer ... very mad.

Huntsman you know my feelings towards dogs are strong. I fear this is a wind up. But as you say animals, and I include Cats in this, are indeed great.

I did once have a cat when I was a beans on toast munching student. It had a different number of toes on each foot and I reckon it was probably inbred. It used to shit everywhere.

On the other hand my dog is beyond doubt the greatest living thing to ever walk this earth. i've even persuaded him to share a beer with me on occasions, though generally have to fool him by dipping a biscuit in the beer and then feeding him the biccie.

we have agreed to disagree about which is best, cat or dog ... but surely you are now swayed more toward the cat world with that last morself of info.? ... the phrase 'top dog' should be 'top cat' and then someone's bound to make a cartoon out of it based on the characters in sargent bilko.

dogs are ace though sb ... and yours sounds like a real belter. can it levitate?

Originally posted by Huntsman we have agreed to disagree about which is best, cat or dog ... but surely you are now swayed more toward the cat world with that last morself of info.? ... the phrase 'top dog' should be 'top cat' and then someone's bound to make a cartoon out of it based on the characters in sargent bilko.dogs are ace though sb ... and yours sounds like a real belter. can it levitate?

I have leaned more towards pussy's of late, and may even get one all to myself when I move in with me missus in a few weeks. We noticed the flat we're getting already had a cat-flap, so it'd be wasting it not to get one.

My dog can't levitate, but when he wants attention he puts on a limp and pretends he's hurt his foot. It's absolute bollox, but he knows it makes all the laydeez swoon and run over to make sure he's alright. I think I've already posted his 'shitty stick' episodes a while back

I hate cats. They make me sneeze and itch. Rather like Shugs aftershave.

Originally posted by Major Tarantino I hate cats. They make me sneeze and itch. Rather like Shugs aftershave.

I'm a bit concerned you got close enough to Shug to smell his aftershave...I thought you two had been gettng a bit over friendly recently

its a shame to dis the cats major ... even if they do aggrivate your beak. mice make me a bit itchy but i haven't seen one since i was at school up close, and then it had its legs spread-eagled and half of its intestines hanging out.

sb funnily enough i am about to hammer a cat flap through our back door (god help us all) as our 2 new kittens are chomping at the bit to gain easy access from our fridge to the exterior of our jardinier. i might have to cut through wood ... and glass! ... just to ensure the little leaflet distributors can easily hoist themselves from our world to the next. if you already have a device then your right, it would be such a shame not to plop a cat through it? ... wouldn't your dog chase its ass up and down your stairs though?

if your moving in with your misses i hope you've already established your side of the bed! ... does she know you usually trump in bed?

will all that stop now?

Originally posted by Seb Briggs > Originally posted by Major Tarantino> I hate cats. They make me sneeze and itch. Rather like Shugs aftershave.

I'm a bit concerned you got close enough to Shug to smell his aftershave...I thought you two had been gettng a bit over friendly recently

I had to share a room with him, liv and Ruined (1 time poster). His odour made the walls peel.

Originally posted by Huntsman i hope you've already established your side of the bed! ... does she know you usually trump in bed?

b]

She's well aware of that already

Huntman you freaked out speeding tosser, get back in ya hole and catch some flys :dead:

Huntsman you freaked out speeding tosser, get back in ya hole and catch some flys :dead:

By the way, Huntsy, returning to your original ER comment, I assume you don't get MTV's Real World there? As has been discussed here during your absence, Crystal was prominently featured on a recent episode.

Originally posted by Huntsman its a shame to dis the cats major ... even if they do aggrivate your beak. mice make me a bit itchy but i haven't seen one since i was at school up close, and then it had its legs spread-eagled and half of its intestines hanging out. sb funnily enough i am about to hammer a cat flap through our back door (god help us all) as our 2 new kittens are chomping at the bit to gain easy access from our fridge to the exterior of our jardinier. i might have to cut through wood ... and glass! ... just to ensure the little leaflet distributors can easily hoist themselves from our world to the next. if you already have a device then your right, it would be such a shame not to plop a cat through it? ... wouldn't your dog chase its ass up and down your stairs though?if your moving in with your misses i hope you've already established your side of the bed! ... does she know you usually trump in bed?will all that stop now?

Not moving in with my missus for a while yet, but she knows i fart and i make sure i do it on her. Its a man's god given right to plant his cheeks on his loved one and let rip so the fat of his sizeable arse ripples with delight.

Pulling the duvet over her head while doing this often produces pleasing results.

:happytongue:

... a lot of trumping going on then by everyone.

pastie i don't tend to enjoy the real world shows on mtv or the brit equivalent which is like watching a load of squawking sparrows in a cage. its encouraging when they're broadcast on any show though so that's a bit of good news.

i intend to catch the ozzy osbourne mtv thing though, even if he has eaten live rabbits.

Originally posted by liv_and_let_live Huntsman you freaked out speeding tosser, get back in ya holeand catch some flys :dead:

my mate can catch a fly in his hand! ... and that really is quick. you'd have to see it to believe it.

i'm afraid i can't compete with that, but thanks for your kind words on me being so fast ... i'm rather embarrassed.

Our cat's a lazy sod, can this behaviour be learned? He wasn't when we got him. At the time we were living in a second floor flat and he was well up for chasing and retrieving rolled crisp packets that had been skilfully manipulated to resemble the hat that adorned the head of Todd the character in Neighbours' head when he was out riding his bike. I could aim said projectile to bounce of the wall like in crazy golf and he'd be down two flights of stairs and back again in the ;) blink of any eye. Also strategically placing a chest of draws in close proximity to a wardrobe would see him display amazing agility in retrieving any packets aimed on top of the wardrobe. Sadly he's now disenterested and sometimes only feigns an interest in looking in the general direction of where the packet is thrown, hence I've got a pile like the baked bean tins in the Laurel and Hardy film were Stan is still guarding the post a decade after the end of the war.

Suddenly the lights are back on again on the good ship orderline. Welcome back Cattermole you crazy bastard, may your sell by date never come again!

Finsbury Park Huntsman?

:car:

Fish Finger Park ... 'YES!'

(just need the tickets but apart from that ... and I'll be using that car)

I am about to scoot off home in half an hour to begin my weekend but before I do, I would like to thank you young chaps for keeping me entertained with this thread during a veh veh boring afternoon

Y'is aall should be on the telly :D

Enjoy your weekends kids :)

I TOLD YA HE'D BE BACK (I THINK). I CANT STOP SHOUTNG NOW!!! HELLO EVERYONE!!! YIPPPEEEEEEEEeeEeEeE!

Originally posted by ShugZV > Originally posted by Hank Wiseass©> I'm a 48hr party pooper virgin until tonight as well. Something to do with Sainsburys and a missus who is uncannily frugal(that's working in an accountants for ya) We will be both viewing it for combined fee of about £2.50 with our reward voucher for purchasing about £500.00 worth of groceries and red and white wine and some lager, though I'm still awaiting a top tip from Shugzv re. San Miguel being given away in the Corby region, could even be worth a 'booze cruise' It will be miraculous if I don't say 'aha' about 5 times while Coogan is on screen, still 5 less than I normally manage, you mentalist spastic!

Hanky - That special offer of The large bottles of Silvino Francisco lasted only for 1 weekend, needless to say, the word shot round Corby in about 3 miliseconds - they sold out on the Saturday dunno how much you've gotta spend - but the word on the street is 24 bottles of carling (330cl) for a tenner - have you got a BOOZEBUSTERS near you (supposedly a posher word for Cellar5 ) I advise you get at least 3 crates - 2 mouthfuls of lager and the bastards disappear into oblivion;) If yer a bit hard up me ole mucker - a 3 litre bottle of rocket fuel (White lightning cider) usually goes fer a measly £4 - just don't smoke any fags while drinking it More promotions next week;)

education lesson needed...what are you drinking over there

Originally posted by Jim Giliberto > Originally posted by ShugZV> > > > Originally posted by Hank Wiseass©> > I'm a 48hr party pooper virgin until tonight as well. Something to do with Sainsburys and a missus who is uncannily frugal(that's working in an accountants for ya) We will be both viewing it for combined fee of about £2.50 with our reward voucher for purchasing about £500.00 worth of groceries and red and white wine and some lager, though I'm still awaiting a top tip from Shugzv re. San Miguel being given away in the Corby region, could even be worth a 'booze cruise' It will be miraculous if I don't say 'aha' about 5 times while Coogan is on screen, still 5 less than I normally manage, you mentalist spastic! >

Hanky - That special offer of The large bottles of Silvino Francisco lasted only for 1 weekend, needless to say, the word shot round Corby in about 3 miliseconds - they sold out on the Saturday dunno how much you've gotta spend - but the word on the street is 24 bottles of carling (330cl) for a tenner - have you got a BOOZEBUSTERS near you (supposedly a posher word for Cellar5 ) I advise you get at least 3 crates - 2 mouthfuls of lager and the bastards disappear into oblivion;) If yer a bit hard up me ole mucker - a 3 litre bottle of rocket fuel (White lightning cider) usually goes fer a measly £4 - just don't smoke any fags while drinking it More promotions next week;)

education lesson needed...what are you drinking over there well, what I'am I drinking since I can't finish my posts...anyway, what are you drinking, and where do you buy

ok...gotcha..at least they are beers, and available at logical places to boot

Huntsy, I missed you xx

Liv