The Emergency Room

Having been blessed with the good fortune to receive digital technology in my televisual unit via a rather awkward looking mini-satellite dish wedged beneath the guttering at the back of my home ... I was able to enjoy (almost 3 weeks before terrestrial t.v.! I might add) the 'new' series of E.R. (The Emergency Room).

To my shock and amazement, followed by a sense of joy and pride ... in one of the scenes the hit song '61Miles to the Gallon' was clearly audible as that scrawny chicken lass knocked on the door of the rather suave Doctor Kuavac (pronounced Co-vash) who subsequently invited her in to enjoy crisps together with dip. Albeit sped-up as all songs in films are (why is that?) ... I still enjoyed the trans-atlantic cross-over of New Order to a BIG American show which I've heard airs in almost 5 other countries than the U.K.!!! ...

... well then, you could have stopped me in my tracks.

For anyone else out there in Cyber Spain who enjoys 'The Emergency Department' surely Peter's Hook would be an excellent replacement for Dr. Peter Benton who has recenty left the hospital ward for imminent fame and fortune in Hollywood? ... or possibly Stevey 'The Boy' Morris as a pneuro-surgeon with the outstanding and courageous ability to patch up farmyard animals with his bare fists?

The possibilities ... I'm sure you'd agree, are endless.

What's all that squeaking and squealing, are you a bit rusty? If your really real why aren't you really you? Huntsman still exists, forgotten your password?

That first paragraph could do with more work. Surely there's a better Huntsmanism for 'home' and as for 'television unit' pah.

... 'televisual unit' wanky if we're splitting hairlines, what about cat house instead of home?

Is digitalis telesavalis all it's crackling'd up to be? I ask this as I may be the owner of a defective w-w-i-i-d-d-e-e-s-s-c-c-r-r-e-e-n-n telesavalis box, when i watch the Premiership with Bob Wilson and Ali Mcoist and occasionally El Tel pops up..something weird happens when the camera pans quickly to keep up with play, normally just after the ball has left the boot of Jamie Carragher...the screen starts to pixelate like it does when I'm viewing the video for Bacon Lettuce & Tomato . What's going on? is this new fangled technique unable to process all the shiny shell suits in the crowd quickly enough? I'd demand me money back, if i'd payed any in the first place. Major, can I complain to trading standards or is it necessary to make a purchase first?

If the 'Pool kept it on the deck a bit more often this wouldn't be an issue would it Hanky? It's probably the cameramans revenge for the mighty reds given him a sore neck having to keep pointing the lens skywards....

Hunter - good to see you back mate..just don't start the posting to yourself stuff - suspicions may arise about you in fact being Karen James et al...

intersting set of points wanker ... unfortunately skyball or itv digital-on-its-way-out of hand both suffer the compression as found in compressed JPEG files (notable on digital camera images) ... any quick panning and the system shits itself scrambling for updates. Here's one for you wank ... get in tonight and put the box on, sit near the screen i.e. so your one good eye is about 10 cm from the fucking screen and you'll notice (provided your eye is clean) that 'everything' is blocky john and the get fresh crew. The only reason you notice this beef jerky effect ordinarily is when your sat on your sofa (or wheel) and a decent corner is taken i.e. when the camera is on pan out johnny.

also noticeable when the adverts crop up and there's a small 'screens gone black' delay ... get up close to that and its like the worst porn image you ever did download as a gif file.

aside from that wise backside have you seen the 24 hour film yet? ... i'm on my way tonight (i would have been there on opening night but an urgent matter came up blah blah fucking blah) ... i guess what i need is some reassurance that it isn't complete shite hawk ... you know, as the typical british made film recently made usually is. i must say, when i heard steven cooter was tony whipsnake i nearly passed out.

don't give the story away though ...

Originally posted by Seb Briggs If the 'Pool kept it on the deck a bit more often this wouldn't be an issue would it Hanky? It's probably the cameramans revenge for the mighty reds given him a sore neck having to keep pointing the lens skywards....Hunter - good to see you back mate..just don't start the posting to yourself stuff - suspicions may arise about you in fact being Karen James et al...

yes, it only happened once - it is in fact a cunt of an idea and i did realise this. give me some fucking credit bitch. onwards and upwards ... good to be back, i expect nothing but pops at me whenever possible, and i intend to play it up this time ... no more mr. nice guy.

would you like to go out for a meal some time?

Hunts, have your marbles been lost in the post? What the fuck gives with all this f'ing and c'ing?

Originally posted by Muffy, Karens EX plaything!! Hunts, have your marbles been lost in the post? What the fuck gives with all this f'ing and c'ing?

oops sorry muff ... i got a bit excited, i'd just eaten a bag of wheat crunchies. no marbles lost, its still me.

muff have you seen the 24hr film? ...

I'm a 48hr party pooper virgin until tonight as well. Something to do with Sainsburys and a missus who is uncannily frugal(that's working in an accountants for ya) We will be both viewing it for combined fee of about £2.50 with our reward voucher for purchasing about £500.00 worth of groceries and red and white wine and some lager, though I'm still awaiting a top tip from Shugzv re. San Miguel being given away in the Corby region, could even be worth a 'booze cruise' It will be miraculous if I don't say 'aha' about 5 times while Coogan is on screen, still 5 less than I normally manage, you mentalist spastic!

Originally posted by Huntsman > Originally posted by Muffy, Karens EX plaything!!> Hunts, have your marbles been lost in the post? What the fuck gives with all this f'ing and c'ing?> >

oops sorry muff ... i got a bit excited, i'd just eaten a bag of wheat crunchies. no marbles lost, its still me.

muff have you seen the 24hr film? ...

Yep, the first hour is decent but it's all down the hole after that. Over all, a pile o' pish! The soundtrack's good though.

Originally posted by Seb Briggs If the 'Pool kept it on the deck a bit more often this wouldn't be an issue would it Hanky? It's probably the cameramans revenge for the mighty reds given him a sore neck having to keep pointing the lens skywards....

Damn I tried to get all the Liverpool gags in first, I think the cameraman's dad should have brought him up to have more respect for 25 years of not playing with a forward purchased for his heading ability, kids today!

poo ... i f@!%ing knew it. as i suggested back when i first heard they were bodging this film together ... 'it'll be crap'.

what with this AND harry potist moon beast have you not considered taking over from Jonathan wross in film 2003?

wank i would suggest to gather your collection of fine wines and treat yourself to a blockbuster beauty ... otherwise you'll have squandered that 1 and nine your lass lent you on a sack of shit.

smuffler i was going to pop to claim the 'here to state' combo cd's later on today - do you happen to know if the versions are any different from your most recent and possibly most beautiful package? ... i'll be buying them anyhow but wanted to know if there was a trinket or 3 on the cards for me now the disappointment of the films set in.

cheers cat.

24hrpp is decent enough. Don't expect too much of the 'Order and you won't be too disappointed.

It does at times come over as a bit of a nostalgia trip for you old gits mind you...when the e's were pure and everyone just loved each other man

Huntsman, despite the somewhat disregard of my welcome back note...I ask you why the sudden reappearance? Is it to renew your feud with Boisvert, who also seems to be having trouble keeping off the board at the mo.

O/T....have you ever seen a Monkfish? Evil bastards.

In case you missed my greeting on another thread, welcome back, Huntso. You were sorely missed.

Originally posted by Huntsman poo ... i f@!%ing knew it. as i suggested back when i first heard they were bodging this film together ... 'it'll be crap'.what with this AND harry potist moon beast have you not considered taking over from Jonathan wross in film 2003?

Funny you should mention that Moleface. I was actually up for the bob-a-job when he took over from Barry the foreman, alas my legendary tongue could'nt get far enough up the powers that be when the casting couch was wheeled out!

Originally posted by Patrick In case you missed my greeting on another thread, welcome back, Huntso. You were sorely missed.

I concur, I aimed at least ten jibes his way during his absence and I'm sore if they missed.

Originally posted by Huntsman smuffler i was going to pop to claim the 'here to state' combo cd's later on today - do you happen to know if the versions are any different from your most recent and possibly most beautiful package? ... i'll be buying them anyhow but wanted to know if there was a trinket or 3 on the cards for me now the disappointment of the films set in.cheers cat.

There's nothing on the HTS cd's you don't already have old fruit. 'Cept for the DVD, which obviously has the video.

Originally posted by Huntsman

well stone the proverbial crows!!!

apologies to the snake ... thanks for the welcome back rattle snout, it was noted and it made me weak with hunger. i was overwhelmed and had to call you something awful in return ... i am ashamed ... i have failed. (actually, i thought it was quite funny).

well rats i'm back because i miss the japes, absolutely arbitrary i might add - i never had any big plans for a calculated return i'm afraid, just when i got the chance to 'log-on' ... as me bird says. i don't intend to make any bother with boisy o ranyone (never did though did i) ... his misgivings about me will have to be settled in his own stomach as i still have no idea why he was banging on about.

hello to the 'p man' - hopefully we can rekindle some passionate debates about the length of certain trousers.

can we please (and excuse me not being in up-to-date) have a unanimous yes, 'here to eat pies' is definately a fucking cracker!? ... the end chorus is like listening to a siren in the greek myths, it is brillianteen.

affirmative Hunts, HTS is a gem. Been meaning to ask, as the evil arch enemy of the remix format...what is your opinion on the equally sparkling Felix Da Housecat offering?

muffbox i quite like the video to here we stand its ace in the hole. having seen bernard turn his weight into almost a member of the fattest larry's band of brothers is quite odd watching john sim as barney look like a tick of rock walking up the road. seems a thousand years away that the order where slimline ... even the boy morris seems to have eaten a tad too many crates of salmon. hooky is always better for having a large mane also, his skinhead looks a bit naughty.

i don't even mind some of the mixes of this song i hate to here to state ... except that one which starts well but they've over-egg'd barney's vocal pudding with enough reverb to sink a battle cruiser.

incidentally muffy, we could have done film 2002 together ... as follows:

muff: yes, harry potist was average hunts: yes, it was shite hawks

muff: we went to LA and had some laughs with bitches hunts: yes, it was great

hunts: muff is going to review the next film now muff: its shit

and so on ...

jross has fuck all on us.

Yes, H, HTS is very fine.

Have you a view about the Housecat remix? See "Pussy" thread for my enthusiastic praise.

I'm not sure about debating trousers, though, unless they have "Regret" embroidered somewhere.

Originally posted by ShugZV > Originally posted by Hank Wiseass©> I'm a 48hr party pooper virgin until tonight as well. Something to do with Sainsburys and a missus who is uncannily frugal(that's working in an accountants for ya) We will be both viewing it for combined fee of about £2.50 with our reward voucher for purchasing about £500.00 worth of groceries and red and white wine and some lager, though I'm still awaiting a top tip from Shugzv re. San Miguel being given away in the Corby region, could even be worth a 'booze cruise' It will be miraculous if I don't say 'aha' about 5 times while Coogan is on screen, still 5 less than I normally manage, you mentalist spastic!

Hanky - That special offer of The large bottles of Silvino Francisco lasted only for 1 weekend, needless to say, the word shot round Corby in about 3 miliseconds - they sold out on the Saturday dunno how much you've gotta spend - but the word on the street is 24 bottles of carling (330cl) for a tenner - have you got a BOOZEBUSTERS near you (supposedly a posher word for Cellar5 ) I advise you get at least 3 crates - 2 mouthfuls of lager and the bastards disappear into oblivion;) If yer a bit hard up me ole mucker - a 3 litre bottle of rocket fuel (White lightning cider) usually goes fer a measly £4 - just don't smoke any fags while drinking it More promotions next week;)

Carling is Satans piss Shugster...its fuckin' awful . In Landahn, we have this wikkid shop called 'CostCutter'. It sells 3 litres of White LIghtning for about £2.50, and has very good beer offers each month. This month it's 15 bottles of Stella for a tenner, or 4 bottles of Kronenberg for £2.50. The place is rapidly turning me into a lush.

... always with the regret!!!

felix da-household cat mix i'm not familiar with, only because i bang the cd in my bomber and file the sleeve in the same movement of the hand to eye. i'll have a look at your heaped praise but from what i've listened to i couldn't get overly excited. the best version is the radio edit followed by the slightly longer one with hooky's bass riff at the end instead of the vocals (as on the radio edit). player in the loopdog is, unfortunatley, dog turd. i couldn't wait to play it and despite my defiant biast to the order i had to admit that it was poor ... i'd go so far as to say it was as bad as rts and that other one off getting things ready about beer and the wind. it does beg the question which league? ... not a very good one i 'reckon.

shrug / snake ... i might be an old bastard but surely the only beer to ingest is 'budweiser'. i know its popular throughout the world which makes it instantly as cool as a lump of seagull dollop ... but for taste, you can't beat it? ... its not the king of beers for nothing you know.

down in the north snake face we have a similar shop to your cost slicer .. its called 'bells' as owned by a les bell ... it sells buckets of slightly dated beer of all shapes, tastes and sizes for about a pound for the whole lot but when you need a very cold beer with substance ... its a budweiser ... i like pepsi max mostly but that really is a bit girly.