The Emergency Room

Originally posted by Major Tarantino Why did Huntsman have to come back?I would like to officially resign my post as funniest person on this board.

You'll always wear the crown as the man who bought Hooky for 17.49, Major.

Bees are clever HUnts, they keep moving their hives. This bird knows every beehive in a 250kilometre radius. Amazing. I'd imagine were the farmer to shoot the bird the badger would probably throw a spaz and attack the farmer. Mind you if the farmer was clever he'd follow the bird as well and nick all the rest of the honey.

There was this other maaaaad bit with dolphins helping fishermen to catch fish but I cant be arsed to go through it now.

Shugster did you see the bit with the parasite/japs-eye? Superb, if a little repulsive.

Da Housepussy mix rules. I think much of his last album was based on 80's electro, and the influence on the mix is obvious. I'm tempted to hunt for it and give it a listen.

Originally posted by Teal'c, the Jaffa who defeated Apophis > Originally posted by Seb Briggs> If you were amongst the trendy yoof of this country, of which I count myself a member, you would know that the league of bottled Beers is approxiamately in this order> > 1: Kronenburg > 2: Stella> 3: San Miguel> 4: Grolsch> 5: Labbatt Ice> > Can't really count myself a fan of bottle Bud, but I do like it on tap.> > Pepsi Max, as you say, is for girls.

How can Kronenbourg be your first choice ? As a Belgian, I simply don't understand how people can drink french bier. It is as if people would drink belgian wine :\puke:. Stella, your second choice, is OK, but it's not the best belgian "pils" beer. IMO, Jupiler and Maes are better. And if you really want to discover what belgian beer can be, try a "trapist" beer like Chimay (specially the one with the blue label), or any "gueuze" or "lambic" beer (except the ones that are brewed by Belle-Vue: 100% industrial products). Amongst other good beers you have Duvel, Leffe, Grimbergen, Maredsous, etc.

it's fair to say I've never heard of any of your suggestions there matey - though I'll hunt for other Belgian beers in the future. Stella was my number one for the last year and a half...but it's just too heavy. You can drink 3 pints of Kroney and not have any hangover...just a sniff of Stella leaves me in a grouch for the next 24 hours. Cheers anyway for the suggestions

Snakey ... i recently picked up a small nugget of information that i've been itching to release to you. get this, a dogs temporary memory only lasts approx. 20 minutes ... whereas a cat has enough capacity to remember short term gear for a whopping 16 hours!!! - check it!

so when you trod on the cat by accident it will be miffed for almost a day (if you stood on it at 6am in the morning) - but you can belt a dog on the snout and the idiot won't recall past half an hour. how amazing is that, aren't animals great.

theoretically you could program a cat to go to the shops, acquire goods (as per your own written list) - get home, discuss it! AND be able to remember the whole event in the SAME FUCKING DAY! ... give a dog the quest to go into the garage to fetch some carrier bags and he's knackered? ... chances are he'll remain in the garage forever and you'll only ever notice when you find bones stuck in the wheely bin ... because the daft arse thought the carrier bags where in there!?

how mad is that? ... answer ... very mad.

Originally posted by Patrick > Originally posted by Major Tarantino> Why did Huntsman have to come back?> > I would like to officially resign my post as funniest person on this board.

You'll always wear the crown as the man who bought Hooky for 17.49, Major.

True... (he's still here you know, looks a bit unwell... i'd better feed him)

Major ... i don't tell jokes and i can't speak any other way than i does. sos. cat - combined we can rule the universe and destroy anything or anyone that falls into our pan of fritters! ... i had to come back i thought i'd left my shoes here.

Originally posted by ShugZV right I'm away for a few frames of snooker and quite possibly a coople of beers;)enjoy work guys catch up with you nutters laterIt's been said already but, It's good to have you back Huntsibidy The place is getting back to its old self!

cheers cat face.

Originally posted by Huntsman Snakey ... i recently picked up a small nugget of information that i've been itching to release to you. get this, a dogs temporary memory only lasts approx. 20 minutes ... whereas a cat has enough capacity to remember short term gear for a whopping 16 hours!!! - check it!so when you trod on the cat by accident it will be miffed for almost a day (if you stood on it at 6am in the morning) - but you can belt a dog on the snout and the idiot won't recall past half an hour. how amazing is that, aren't animals great.theoretically you could program a cat to go to the shops, acquire goods (as per your own written list) - get home, discuss it! AND be able to remember the whole event in the SAME FUCKING DAY! ... give a dog the quest to go into the garage to fetch some carrier bags and he's knackered? ... chances are he'll remain in the garage forever and you'll only ever notice when you find bones stuck in the wheely bin ... because the daft arse thought the carrier bags where in there!?how mad is that? ... answer ... very mad.

Huntsman you know my feelings towards dogs are strong. I fear this is a wind up. But as you say animals, and I include Cats in this, are indeed great.

I did once have a cat when I was a beans on toast munching student. It had a different number of toes on each foot and I reckon it was probably inbred. It used to shit everywhere.

On the other hand my dog is beyond doubt the greatest living thing to ever walk this earth. i've even persuaded him to share a beer with me on occasions, though generally have to fool him by dipping a biscuit in the beer and then feeding him the biccie.

we have agreed to disagree about which is best, cat or dog ... but surely you are now swayed more toward the cat world with that last morself of info.? ... the phrase 'top dog' should be 'top cat' and then someone's bound to make a cartoon out of it based on the characters in sargent bilko.

dogs are ace though sb ... and yours sounds like a real belter. can it levitate?

Originally posted by Huntsman we have agreed to disagree about which is best, cat or dog ... but surely you are now swayed more toward the cat world with that last morself of info.? ... the phrase 'top dog' should be 'top cat' and then someone's bound to make a cartoon out of it based on the characters in sargent bilko.dogs are ace though sb ... and yours sounds like a real belter. can it levitate?

I have leaned more towards pussy's of late, and may even get one all to myself when I move in with me missus in a few weeks. We noticed the flat we're getting already had a cat-flap, so it'd be wasting it not to get one.

My dog can't levitate, but when he wants attention he puts on a limp and pretends he's hurt his foot. It's absolute bollox, but he knows it makes all the laydeez swoon and run over to make sure he's alright. I think I've already posted his 'shitty stick' episodes a while back

I hate cats. They make me sneeze and itch. Rather like Shugs aftershave.

Originally posted by Major Tarantino I hate cats. They make me sneeze and itch. Rather like Shugs aftershave.

I'm a bit concerned you got close enough to Shug to smell his aftershave...I thought you two had been gettng a bit over friendly recently

its a shame to dis the cats major ... even if they do aggrivate your beak. mice make me a bit itchy but i haven't seen one since i was at school up close, and then it had its legs spread-eagled and half of its intestines hanging out.

sb funnily enough i am about to hammer a cat flap through our back door (god help us all) as our 2 new kittens are chomping at the bit to gain easy access from our fridge to the exterior of our jardinier. i might have to cut through wood ... and glass! ... just to ensure the little leaflet distributors can easily hoist themselves from our world to the next. if you already have a device then your right, it would be such a shame not to plop a cat through it? ... wouldn't your dog chase its ass up and down your stairs though?

if your moving in with your misses i hope you've already established your side of the bed! ... does she know you usually trump in bed?

will all that stop now?

Originally posted by Seb Briggs > Originally posted by Major Tarantino> I hate cats. They make me sneeze and itch. Rather like Shugs aftershave.

I'm a bit concerned you got close enough to Shug to smell his aftershave...I thought you two had been gettng a bit over friendly recently

I had to share a room with him, liv and Ruined (1 time poster). His odour made the walls peel.

Originally posted by Huntsman i hope you've already established your side of the bed! ... does she know you usually trump in bed?

b]

She's well aware of that already

Huntman you freaked out speeding tosser, get back in ya hole and catch some flys :dead:

Huntsman you freaked out speeding tosser, get back in ya hole and catch some flys :dead:

By the way, Huntsy, returning to your original ER comment, I assume you don't get MTV's Real World there? As has been discussed here during your absence, Crystal was prominently featured on a recent episode.

Originally posted by Huntsman its a shame to dis the cats major ... even if they do aggrivate your beak. mice make me a bit itchy but i haven't seen one since i was at school up close, and then it had its legs spread-eagled and half of its intestines hanging out. sb funnily enough i am about to hammer a cat flap through our back door (god help us all) as our 2 new kittens are chomping at the bit to gain easy access from our fridge to the exterior of our jardinier. i might have to cut through wood ... and glass! ... just to ensure the little leaflet distributors can easily hoist themselves from our world to the next. if you already have a device then your right, it would be such a shame not to plop a cat through it? ... wouldn't your dog chase its ass up and down your stairs though?if your moving in with your misses i hope you've already established your side of the bed! ... does she know you usually trump in bed?will all that stop now?

Not moving in with my missus for a while yet, but she knows i fart and i make sure i do it on her. Its a man's god given right to plant his cheeks on his loved one and let rip so the fat of his sizeable arse ripples with delight.

Pulling the duvet over her head while doing this often produces pleasing results.

:happytongue:

... a lot of trumping going on then by everyone.

pastie i don't tend to enjoy the real world shows on mtv or the brit equivalent which is like watching a load of squawking sparrows in a cage. its encouraging when they're broadcast on any show though so that's a bit of good news.

i intend to catch the ozzy osbourne mtv thing though, even if he has eaten live rabbits.

Originally posted by liv_and_let_live Huntsman you freaked out speeding tosser, get back in ya holeand catch some flys :dead:

my mate can catch a fly in his hand! ... and that really is quick. you'd have to see it to believe it.

i'm afraid i can't compete with that, but thanks for your kind words on me being so fast ... i'm rather embarrassed.

Our cat's a lazy sod, can this behaviour be learned? He wasn't when we got him. At the time we were living in a second floor flat and he was well up for chasing and retrieving rolled crisp packets that had been skilfully manipulated to resemble the hat that adorned the head of Todd the character in Neighbours' head when he was out riding his bike. I could aim said projectile to bounce of the wall like in crazy golf and he'd be down two flights of stairs and back again in the ;) blink of any eye. Also strategically placing a chest of draws in close proximity to a wardrobe would see him display amazing agility in retrieving any packets aimed on top of the wardrobe. Sadly he's now disenterested and sometimes only feigns an interest in looking in the general direction of where the packet is thrown, hence I've got a pile like the baked bean tins in the Laurel and Hardy film were Stan is still guarding the post a decade after the end of the war.

Suddenly the lights are back on again on the good ship orderline. Welcome back Cattermole you crazy bastard, may your sell by date never come again!

Finsbury Park Huntsman?

:car:

Fish Finger Park ... 'YES!'

(just need the tickets but apart from that ... and I'll be using that car)

I am about to scoot off home in half an hour to begin my weekend but before I do, I would like to thank you young chaps for keeping me entertained with this thread during a veh veh boring afternoon

Y'is aall should be on the telly :D

Enjoy your weekends kids :)

I TOLD YA HE'D BE BACK (I THINK). I CANT STOP SHOUTNG NOW!!! HELLO EVERYONE!!! YIPPPEEEEEEEEeeEeEeE!