Great Lost Factory Products of our Time....

Great Lost Factory Products of Our Time

FAC 285 – The Shambolic Stage Entrance

The DJ is still playing tracks. You are in the process of loading up on beer and deciding where you should stand. A buzzing guitar lead alerts you to the fact that the band have just ambled onto the stage. Even the DJ is not ready and hurriedly turns down his tunes. They strike into the first chords without saying a word.

See: Every Factory act ever, except for New Order after 1986

FAC 285b The Shambolic Stage Exit

The band’s only well-know record is hitting its climax. You are dancing and finally getting into it. Suddenly is is apparent that the band are slipping away one by one. The crowd, and you, are totally unaware what is happening until the drummer gets up, has a big drink of water and stumble off sideways. There is nobody left. A sequencer continues a pulsating riff. A roadie gets onstage and turns it off. Silence. Errr, I think its over.

Every Factory act ever, including New Order.

FAC 199 The Crap a-side / Brilliant b side

You put on your brand new, beautifully packed 7 inch Factory single by a band whose album you loved. There is a huge dirge of weird synth washes. The vocal is recognisable as the bad but the music is I weird, half baked attempt at pop music, but with a lyric about dancing. You play it again to see if it will grow. It sounds worse. You try again. Nope. Finally you decide that your band is terrible and have lost it. You absent-mindedly put on the b-side. It sends chills down your spine. It is, quite simply the best record you have ever heard.

See ACR, James, Section 25

FAC 34 The Andrew Berry Haircut

You have a side parting. You leave your hair wispy. You shave the entire sides and back of your hair until you look like a wartime schoolboy with lice.

See every Factory act bar The Durutti Column, 1982-86

FAC 85 The Early 80s Drug Cocktail

You start the night with a few spliffs of Moroccan Black. You hit the Hacienda and start drinking cans of “Breaker”. Your mate turns up and gives you a tab of Acid. You scoff it and an hour later things are getting weird. Then, you remember the mouldy gram of speed you have left over from last week. All night you dab speed, then end up sitting up until 8am in your mates flat in Didsbury smoking hash and listening to The Durutti Column.

See every Factory band and fan, 1978-1988

FAC 126 The Wasted Groundbreaker

Your band make a record which sounds like the future of music. It takes the current music scene and moves it into a new dimension, using modern technology and nodding to past masters. It comes out on promo and all the credible clubs start playing it to a rapturous reception. You put it out on 7 inch only with a cover made of red plastic with no reference to the band or tune on it. Even the sticker on the vinyl is blank. You do not promote it and it is only available in a few places. It sells 247 copies.

See Section 25, Quando Quango, ACR

FAC 49 The Disgruntled Joy Division Fan

Has stood, in dwindling numbers, at the back of New Order gigs since they formed. Wears a raincoat, has died black hair, black jeans and an Unknown Pleasures t-shirt. Was furious when New Order started making “Disco” music in 1983. Scowls through the gig and shouts “Warsaw”, "New Dawn Fades" or “Fucking Pop Shit” between songs. From comprising 60% of the audience in 1981, numbers down to just 2 in Blackpool. They both nearly fainted when "novelty" was played, then decided it was sacrilige.

See the bar at every New Order gig 1981 - now

Anyone know any more?

NOVELTY is so COOL.

Has it not worn off yet, Mick?

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote: Has it not worn off yet, Mick?

Snorri xxx

i KNOW i should stop playing with it!

FAC 49a The Disgruntled New Order Fan

Endlessly complains about the last 18 years and spouts shite about the good old days...

Leggy D wrote: FAC 49a The Disgruntled New Order Fan

Endlessly complains about the last 18 years and spouts shite about the good old days...

Now that, my friend, is a good reply....

Now that, my friend, is a good reply....

This is my favourite post of the week. Good job, people.

FAC 89 The Awful Live Vocal

Your favourite Factory act takes to the stage using a classical FAC 285, wearing a classical FAC 34. You are mid-way into FAC 85. They look brilliant and their synths break into a beautiful, melancholy sequence, sending you into raptures. It is, of course, your favourite: FAC 126. Their lead singer, not dancing of course*, walks to the mike looking wistful after a full 4 minute song build, opens his mouth and launchs into a wail like a dying cat. The man on the desk anticipated this and turned him very low, but it is unmistakeable.

See: Durutti Column, The Wake, The Stockholm Monsters etc etc etc.

* FAC 165 - the melancholy, ice cool, motionless stage stance

Fac 34: You're No Good 7" single, ESG (band)

FAC 85: Too Crazy Cowboys, Thick Pigeon

Fac 49: Little Voices, Swamp Children

Fac 89: Dowie Video

Fact 165: Anna Domino

Blunderer wrote: FAC 89 The Awful Live Vocal

Your favourite Factory act takes to the stage using a classical FAC 285, wearing a classical FAC 34. You are mid-way into FAC 85. They look brilliant and their synths break into a beautiful, melancholy sequence, sending you into raptures. It is, of course, your favourite: FAC 126. Their lead singer, not dancing of course*, walks to the mike looking wistful after a full 4 minute song build, opens his mouth and launchs into a wail like a dying cat. The man on the desk anticipated this and turned him very low, but it is unmistakeable.

See: Durutti Column, The Wake, The Stockholm Monsters etc etc etc.

* FAC 165 - the melancholy, ice cool, motionless stage stance

For FAC's sake...

Snorri xxx

ally wrote:

Blunderer wrote: Your favourite Factory act takes to the stage using a classical FAC 285, wearing a classical FAC 34.

And you were accusing other people in other threads of being trainspotters!

P.S. Aren't half of these "Fantasy FAC" numbers already taken by proper records?

Hi Ally, you young Terrior, you! I thought you said we could be friends?

I don't recall calling anyone a Trainspotter but if you have your daily trawl through my posts you may prove me wrong.

Just to explain clearly to you.....

They are not real Factory products...they are a figment of my imagination. There they may well clash with other real Factory products. That is kind of not the point.

By the way, one for the Factory heads....one Factory catalogue number was used twice. Any takers for what it was?

ally wrote: Never mind that, I want to know what happened to Fac191, you faccer.

The Factory Pussy.

Probably ended up of the Mondays tour-bus... (see 24HPP)...

Snorri xxx

Sorry if Im in the minority but I like Blunderer. Most of what he says makes me feel good. I dont repeat don`t like his comments on NO cos I will love them til I die!

Ok Ok I hate him alright !

Atmospheric Jane wrote: Sorry if Im in the minority but I like Blunderer. Most of what he says makes me feel good. I dont repeat don`t like his comments on NO cos I will love them til I die!

Awww, Jane, you made me feel all warm inside. Thanks for the support. I am glad I have one friend on here.

As a band close to many of your hearts said in the early 80s...

"Ya see basically we're very misunderstood.....we love people really"

Spotters badge for the location/year?

Birmingham Tower Ballroom 9th April 1985

Tim wrote: Birmingham Tower Ballroom 9th April 1985

NNNNRRRRGGGGG! Incorrect Answer.

Atmospheric Jane wrote: Ok Ok I hate him alright !

So ends the shortest friendship in internet history.

It's back to just you and me, now Ally.

So, here we go again....

* Puts on SeeYouJimmy hat, ginger wig, kilt and picks up bottle of cheap whisky *

"We're on the March with Ally's Army...."

Blunderer wrote:

Tim wrote: Birmingham Tower Ballroom 9th April 1985

NNNNRRRRGGGGG! Incorrect Answer.

You caught me at a bad time.....let's go for Kilkenny then shall we? Wonder if you know the correct date though?

What's this about an ACR b-side being better than the a-side? When,where & why?! Nooooooo! So FAC off!

Tim wrote:

Blunderer wrote:

Tim wrote: Birmingham Tower Ballroom 9th April 1985

NNNNRRRRGGGGG! Incorrect Answer.

You caught me at a bad time.....let's go for Kilkenny then shall we? Wonder if you know the correct date though?

Correct. 24 April 1983. It was broadcast on Radio One when Theives Like Us came out. Absolutely brilliant gig. I listened to it so many times over the next year or two, I can still remember practically everything. The crowd shouting "Everything;s Gone Green" Barney introducing the band one by one - wierd! "This is my, er, Ceremony guitar. 1959 Les Paul but it just suits Ceremony. You know what's it;s like, don't you?" Then plays the riff. Brilliant, brilliant stuff followed by the first time I heard Theives Like Us.

Blunderer wrote:

Tim wrote:

Blunderer wrote:

Tim wrote: Birmingham Tower Ballroom 9th April 1985

NNNNRRRRGGGGG! Incorrect Answer.

You caught me at a bad time.....let's go for Kilkenny then shall we? Wonder if you know the correct date though?

Correct. 24 April 1983. It was broadcast on Radio One when Theives Like Us came out. Absolutely brilliant gig. I listened to it so many times over the next year or two, I can still remember practically everything. The crowd shouting "Everything;s Gone Green" Barney introducing the band one by one - wierd! "This is my, er, Ceremony guitar. 1959 Les Paul but it just suits Ceremony. You know what's it;s like, don't you?" Then plays the riff. Brilliant, brilliant stuff followed by the first time I heard Theives Like Us.

One of the guys from this site was there, a small venue with a rather small but noisy crowd apparently, it was more like a wedding reception than a gig! Can you spot the song that was played at the gig but not broadcast on the radio?

Without checking New-Order-net, I certainly couldn't.

That website says Confusion and it also says In A Lonely Place. and it brings back all the memories, too.

I am certain both were on my version, which I recorded straight from the radio. As I said, it then finishes with Thieves Like Us.

Blunderer wrote: Without checking New-Order-net, I certainly couldn't.

That website says Confusion and it also says In A Lonely Place. and it brings back all the memories, too.

I am certain both were on my version, which I recorded straight from the radio. As I said, it then finishes with Thieves Like Us.

IALP was not broadcast on any of the versions featuring on the radio. There are two different versions, one featuring an accidental snippet of Radio 1 jingle (DJ fucked up and triggered the jingle in the middle) and a version without this, broadcast a few years later. Can't remember the first time it was broadcast, but it was before Thieves Like Us was released, that is for sure.

Blunderer,

Count me into your gang please.

For me, going to see NO now can't compare to the excitement that I as an 18year old felt going to Deeside Leisure Centre for Futurama and crying with joy when they came on stage, Liverpool State Ballroom, Bradford Ceaser's palace, The return at the Apollo and Liverpool Olympia gig (more tears) the fuck ups and experiements, the mystery. I accept (and I think you admitted to this) that it's me who's changed more than the band.

I personally haven't enjoyed the past couple of shows and will content myself with memories, bootlegs and DVD's rather than go to new shows.

That I'm older doesn't make me a 'better' fan though and all those who've taken against you here, I understand their frustration (and expect that this expression of condecnesion will piss 'em off just as much).

Can't help feel that the magic went when Rob did.

Tim I could'nt swear to it but I am 95% certain that a fast and rather cool version of IALP was on my tape. And I taped it personally from Radio 1.

MH You don't need to apologise to the board elite for your views. Just like mine, they are totally valid. Lots and lots of people feel the same, they just don't post on this website. You went to some great gigs, there, by the way! I loved the Apollo comeback but I was slightly dissapointed at Liverpool Olympia. It was good, and I remember being pleased they played some new stuff, but it was then I really realised things had changed for me.

Tim wrote:

Blunderer wrote: Can't remember the first time it was broadcast, but it was before Thieves Like Us was released, that is for sure.

First time I heard it 30 Aug 83, David Jensen I believe. That could of course be complete bollocks. August anyway with the "Barney and Hooky havent even heard of the Doors" interview before.

Blunderer wrote:

FAC 199 The Crap a-side / Brilliant b side

You put on your brand new, beautifully packed 7 inch Factory single by a band whose album you loved. There is a huge dirge of weird synth washes. The vocal is recognisable as the bad but the music is I weird, half baked attempt at pop music, but with a lyric about dancing. You play it again to see if it will grow. It sounds worse. You try again. Nope. Finally you decide that your band is terrible and have lost it. You absent-mindedly put on the b-side. It sends chills down your spine. It is, quite simply the best record you have ever heard.

See ACR, James, Section 25

Actually, you got that one wrong. That was FAC 103.