Caption Competition!

Your Clint Eastwood impression is shit.

If you yelp C'MON during LWTUA again I'll hang you

I cant beleive you remixed Technotronic (Rockin Over The Beat)

please let gillian take over lead vocals at least she won't do the 'whoo' shit.

No I won't turn me fookin bass down

I told you Jetstream was a load of fucking shite.

you look crap in that.

"That is a very good point Bernard... I agree totally my good friend... you know we are like a couple without the gay sex, that is what makes New Order such a kick ass punk band"

"there's a tank over there pointed right at your house"

"Take those sunglasses off you won't be able to read yer auto cue - twat"

believe me, there will be never made a movie about ian, twat!

i'm telling you Barney,we need to go and do a gig at Corby sometime.

"... I'm not sayin' it were fookin' you Dicken, but Sarge said all 'e saw was soom fookin' cheeky twat in fookin' dayglo orange leggin' it wif me Doves ..."

:\pimp3:

I LOVE THESE!!!

Hooky: "Look, shithead, I told you before.. its "room without a view! not "view without a room, you senile git!!!"

Barney: "But its.."

Hooky: "NO!! Shut it right there, girly boy! You're goin' senile... or all that pernod shite!"

Steve: (thinks to self) "I'm staying out of this one..."

I'm really bad at these. LOL

"Look Sumner, you've done this before, remember? That photo shoot we had on the road bridge at Hulme. This one smells even worse, it's not big and it's not clever. Every time a cameraman rolls up you drop yer guts. Any more of it and I shall take Revenge and play elsewhere."

Pull my finger.

"i'll wear long denim shorts anytime i want"

"I've told you before - ask when you want to borrow Gillians pudding basin! - and you might want to think about taking your glasses off before you start cutting!"

I've told you a hundred times,its YOUR job to make sure the van has got enough fuel to get to the gig.

Hey look Bernard, those two 'enigmatic' types from Macclesfield are standing behind us again

"You just TRY growing a beautiful beard like this, pube face!"

YOU...LOOKIN AT ME!!!!!...I SAID...ARE YOU LOOKIN AT ME!!!!! :\pissedoff: :angry2:

"i'm telling you,365 consecutive dj dates can be done"

"Fuck you Sinbad! We are playing Age of Consent.End Of!"

"I kept saying 'We should spot Corbijn the extra cash'. But noooo... you had to stop at the track. Now look who's name ended up on the credits!!"

ally wrote:

Best one wins £40 from BIGINOIL.

Look into the eyes the eyes the eyes...:clicksfingers: Yer under..

Barney

"Look, I'm telling you three... just smell it. It's just like tuna!"

"No, it's your fault we're touring. When Rob asks you if you want another fookin' yacht, you say NO. Next time, you let Gillian do the talking. She's not daft as a brush."

... pause...

"No offense, Steve."

melly wrote: "No, it's your fault we're touring. When Rob asks you if you want another fookin' yacht, you say NO. Next time, you let Gillian do the talking. She's not daft as a brush."

... pause...

"No offense, Steve."

PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eric Wang wrote: "Look, I'm telling you three... just smell it. It's just like tuna!"

EW! lol

Gillian: stop it boys, Tony's coming

What d'you mean with this haircut i look like a fat Ralf Little?

"I'm telling you, we take all the money we make as a band and we put it into the club... We'll be millionaires"

Kerry Harris wrote: "I'm telling you, we take all the money we make as a band and we put it into the club... We'll be millionaires"

Sounds like the winner to me!

You look like fucking Lennie Peters!

(Anybody out there remember Peters and Lee?!)

"Tell me one more time that 'Tony Wilson actually had some good ideas'! I fookin' dare ya mate!"

"For your information, it's this long! May not be an M1, but I use what God gave me!"

Ana Matronic? IM picking the guests on the next album. You'll be wanting Jimmy Sommerville next time,yer Bronski Beat looking cunt!

CuanaD - D-plus wrote: "there's a tank over there pointed right at your house"

Can't think of one me'self but your's definitely raised a chuckle in me!!!

Steve - 'I haven't heard from Ian for over 12 months, is he okay?'

ouch.

"My T-shirt maybe pink, but at least I dont look like a f'ckin Tango man"

DAMNIT!!! y'all got me laughin' so hard I'm actually cryin' a bit!! Very good stuff!!

Some of my faves...

Missy Jem wrote: No I won't turn me fookin bass down

CuanaD - D-plus wrote: "there's a tank over there pointed right at your house"

Jolene wrote: Hey look Bernard, those two 'enigmatic' types from Macclesfield are standing behind us again

PetShopQueen wrote: Hooky: "Look, shithead, I told you before.. its "room without a view! not "view without a room, you senile git!!!"

Barney: "But its.."

Hooky: "NO!! Shut it right there, girly boy! You're goin' senile... or all that pernod shite!"

Steve: (thinks to self) "I'm staying out of this one..."

FATS wrote: YOU...LOOKIN AT ME!!!!!...I SAID...ARE YOU LOOKIN AT ME!!!!! :\pissedoff: :angry2:

melly wrote: "No, it's your fault we're touring. When Rob asks you if you want another fookin' yacht, you say NO. Next time, you let Gillian do the talking. She's not daft as a brush."

... pause...

"No offense, Steve."

Jed Stephens wrote: Gillian: stop it boys, Tony's coming

Chris owen wrote: Steve - 'I haven't heard from Ian for over 12 months, is he okay?'

ouch.

And on that note...

Hooky: No, no, and NO! How many bloody fookin' times do I have to tell you, Barney--you're NOT usin' me turntables to practice yer so-called DJ'ing skills!! You already broke the last set I had!! YOU OWE ME!!

Barney: Sorry Hooky--

Hooky: Sorry my arse! No turntables for you!

Barney: WHAT!?

Gillian: Oh Lordy...

Hooky: Yeah, you heard me! NO BLOODY FOOKIN TURNTABLES FOR YOU!!

Steve: Okay children, don't make me settle this with me tank.

+ = Love.

"Im programming the Autocue next time,Atmosphere does NOT have a fuckin WHOOP! before the chorus..."

"So i said to him,you try playing the fuckin thing when the straps so long its round yer fuckin knees!"

Rob Gretton (out of shot):

"One hundred and Eighty!,Bernard you need a treble 6 to win".

That pigeon shit's gonna land on your napper any second now !

Cheers

Once again, it's all about the tank.

: But Hooky--

: No buts, Barney! It's not bloody fookin fair I get ratted on about me DJ'ing around the world while Steve here gets no trouble at all for pansying around in his tanks!

: [thinking to herself] Oh oh...

: ... *no comment*

: Hooky, it's not like he's goin' through the world in 'em!

: Oh really!? Look at the lad! He's daft as a brush! Who else do we really know that has a whole fookin slew of tanks!?

: [shaking her head] Uh oh...

: Oh come on, Hooky. At least he knows how the bloody hell to program tracks like it's nobody's business. Now stop bitchin' about the bloody tanks!!

: [looking around] ...where's Steve? *then looks to her left* Oh my God...

: [looking around] What is it, Gillian? *then looks where she's looking* ...bloody hell!?

: [looking in their direction] What's wrong, mates? Where's Steve, and what the fook's with this damn tank headin' for us?

: [inside the tank] Y'wanna bitch on me tanks, Hooky? Just get a look at yer car...

*Hooky's car got rolled over by the *

*moments later*

: That's it Sumner, we're putting Steve's arse on tank restriction!! Fookin smartarse!!

Hookey could be saying many things....

"I've got it!! All we have to do is make the sleeve look like a floppy disc and it'll make us a shitload of money!"

"If we call it Blue fooking Monday, I'm outta this band!"

"If that Curtis keeps missing any more rehearsals, he's history!"

"How come MY missus can't be in the band?"

"Taras Shevchenko? Will you STOP calling our records after Russian centre-forwards?"

"Wilson is NOT calling my bass FAC101"

"Will you stop arseing about and settle on ONE surname?"

"If that photographer uses this shot for a caption competition in 25 years, I'll sue!"

Yep, he could!!

"You know i dont like the tuna and cucumber sarnies,that egg mayo was mine. Last fucking band picnic i come on!"

Gillian get your hands out of my arse

'Sumner, I told ya, next time let Steve lay down some vocals for the new album. He may be daft as a brush, but at least he doesn't go WHOOP! during the chorus bit.'

Gillian: *whispering* Hey Steve, those two grown men from Salford are fighting again.

Steve:

"I don't care about the colour of your jacket- Orange Sunkist and Blue Monday DOES NOT WORK!"

'I Fookin told you Barney, Your a Twat and Orangy-Yellow doesn't suit you, you should try Teal'