Impressing the Birds

Okay you've gel'd your hair back and brushed the dandruff out... cleaned your honda-pants of excess ants eggs, put your fave jumper on with matching slacks... splattered el'cheapo cologne over the smelliest areas of your body starting from the crack of your arse and your heading off to take the bird out for chips and a movie... with a view to obtaining at least a wank before the night is over.

But wait, which New Order track do I load into my £70 no-questions asked CD multiplayer that my mate's mate's mate's pal got for me and fitted it for free!? - mmmm, I think I'll impress her with 'Turn My Feet'... within seconds she'll be pulling my pipe and wanting to drink my lovers juices. I wonder what the gang would chose???.

(insert any bloke if you are a lady into the above story).

PK, Huntsy, and not because of the name. Preferably the version that's on Substance Abuse.

Every Little Counts ? Erm... Maybe not...

Temptation.

Well, my trusted companions have entered me thread to help the old Huntsman out. I thought it was a bit of a shit topic that's why I added a bit of spice with the sex angle. I fear, I have failed.

Never mind, I might go for a shit now and think about things.

Ah, now this is my realm. Impress da bird with the following cuts from technique..Love Less, R&R, Run +Dream Attack. If youre just choosing the one..Dream Attack

Face up :)

Briggsy, don't you think that Dreaming about Attacks might put the lady off her food? - its probably too intense to lay on her just yet. Why not pick a better one because your choice is shite.

Look see, Face-up is a much better selection. When the song goes on the stereogram, when she says "Hey Sebbsy, what the fuck's this shit", you could say, "shut your fucking hole bitch... the songs called Face-up, which is what I want you to do when I ejaculate in your fucking mouth you miserable twat".

Well, I think I'd play one of my tunes, if I want to impress her...

Just kidding... :)

And, no, Huntsy, it's not a shit topic. It's an interesting angle to look at NO songs, i Think...

Originally posted by Huntsman Briggsy, don't you think that Dreaming about Attacks might put the lady off her food? - its probably too intense to lay on her just yet. Why not pick a better one because your choice is shite.

Well she's too busy dragging me off to bed for me to have time to choose the music

OK I put no thought into my answer at all...I just chose my favourite songs...:p

'Isolation' would of course be my real choice

... Exactly. The Huntsman brews up only the best topics he can from his cauldron of hope and when people don't take it seriously, well... its just plain upsetting. The whole point was to influence whores and bitches with New Order material (sometimes in a car or van).

Blimey, its like pissing in the wind sometimes.

Well I've been for a crap anyway and this post seems to have picked up.

Oh I see Sebbsy, modifying posts after they've been submitted. Shite hawks I'm so confused my own toenails slipped off into my shoe.

sorry Huntsy , but I did modify it almost straight away...honestly...

Actually I lie, I'm not sorry.

By pointing out I modified it, it makes me look like I've looked at the comment, then thought long and hard about it, and then thought 'Oh no thats not at all funny-I'll have to change it'

And of course it still isn't funny

Wanker :finger:

We're going to suspect you of being our Norwegian friend in disguise.

Your comments about the Norwegian re-poster were not ignored Pastie... it is a bad habit, like picking one's nose and consuming the found items.

Our friend Sebsy must not be placed within the same category. Although calling me a wanker was a bit naughty, if not well deserved.

Huntsy-did you just re-edit your comment?...

I was relying on your testimony, Huntsy; I didn't observe it myself.

Yes.

hypocrit

Originally posted by Seb Briggs Ah, now this is my realm. Impress da bird with the following cuts from technique..Love Less, R&R, Run +Dream Attack. If youre just choosing the one..Dream Attack

Sebsy, you da MAN!!!!

Perhaps Regret might be appropriate, in case your con-dom breaks......

Hmm...I always try to go with something a little 'pop-like' in its sound. Especially if its a girl who hasn't heard NO before. I wouldn't put in something like 'You Probably Shouldn't Do It' or 'In a Place labeled as Lonely' I usually go with Lonesome Tonight, Dreaming About Attacks, True Faith, Run, Regret.

I find a little wit and charm goes a long way with the chicks nowadays boys, and once you've lured her back to the 'love shack' unleash Technique on her, an unadulterated shagfest of an album, she won't be able to help herself, it'll be roly poly till dawn, or lunchtime in my case! :evil:

Originally posted by Taboo #7 Perhaps Regret might be appropriate, in case your con-dom breaks......

I al-ways keep an ex-tra pac-ket.

Decades - nothing like it

Originally posted by Nicolas LeBlanc Sure thing, do go on playing "Love Will Tear Us Apart"...

Has to be Age of Consent.......

What about Fine Time...."You got love technique"

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 What about Fine Time...."You got love technique"

Nah, what you need to do is a bit of a megamix compilation. Start with "this is the way, step inside" off Atrocity Exhibition, then make sure you have the appropriate colour eyes from Temptation. Throw in a few "it's called love" samples from Thieves Like Us (make sure you get the in-tune vocal bit though). Don't forget a bit of "How Does It Feel" from Green Tuesday, a bit of "you just don't believe me..." from Confusion. Whatever you do, don't play any of Face Up though. You could always ask that awfully nice chap Mr Monchengladbach to do you a remix !

Originally posted by Sébastien Boisvert > Originally posted by Nigel Spleen> Start with "this is the way, step inside" off Atrocity Exhibition,

I'm having mental pictures

When you get them back to your gaff !!!!