Alternative lyrics

Bernard has long been renowned for his live improvisations to words - many of the final recorded lyrics evolved from random live ramblings.

What are everyone's favourite live ad-libs ?

My favorite is probably the debut of Face Up, at Bradford 1984.

"For a long time now I've seen your face, it caused me very much disgrace, you look like the Elephant Man, and that's just talking so I can.....I've known you since you were 16, between your legs I have always been, I prefer fur hats to hairy twats, but your hairy twat is like a fur hat....Oh how I cannot bear the thought of you......"

There's the Temptation version of Taras Schev-whatever... He rambles something like "People, O people... like you" all along.

I suppose another one would be Love Vigilantes at the ULU October 1985, where it wouuld appear that Barney came home to find his wife with her mouth full !

I LOVE that signature!!! - very funny

"if it wasn't for your misfortune I'd be a fucking cool bastard today" was always one of my faves. I forget where I heard it though.

Did you ever notice how far away the lyrics to "Sister Ray" as performed live by JD and NO are from the original ones by the VU? I wouldn't even say it's the same song!

Originally posted by Sébastien Boisvert My favorite has to be Lonesome Tonight from somewhere in 1984 (too lazy to check):I walk along the streetI look into your eyesI'm pleasant when we meetI'm there when you go homeHow many times before could you tell I didn't care?When you turned your back on meAND YOU FELT MY BIG FAT COCKand then he adds something else afterwards that I can't make up...And though I've never heard it myself, I read that once he was so drunk that while they played Everything's Gone Green (not sure if it was that one), Barney kept shouting "VODKA, VODKA, VODKA!!!!!!" for 10 minutes!!!!!S.

Polytechnic of Central London, 6/12/85. Amongst others.

There was a rendition of Shellshock once where he changed it to "all you get from me is a limp cock"

No, CLP was the Lonesome Tonight version, which I've got on tape if you want it.

The EGG Vodka frenzy was at the start of the song at a gig I can't remember at the moment - he was talking it over the beginning of the song - it'll come to me which show in a minute. The M1 reference was on the Festival Hall 84 gig I think, the debut of Perfect Kiss, where that is what he gave the title as. May have been Leicester the next show though - I'm getting old and can't remember all of them ! Got them all on tape - will check them out and confirm.

Originally posted by Sébastien Boisvert > Originally posted by Benoît Codrons aka Ben from the land of the Klump> Did you ever notice how far away the lyrics to "Sister Ray" as performed live by JD and NO are from the original ones by the VU? I wouldn't even say it's the same song!

The versions performed by JD and NO do not even sound similar to start with!

I much prefer New Order's.

S.

Neither do they sound similar to the Velvet's (which is awful, imho, as is their album "white light/white heat")

You're all wrong, the vodka reference is at gmex in manchester on sat 19th july, 1986. The stewards were throwing water on us at the front coz it was fucking hot. Barney decides to join 'em and starts throwing water at us too, maintaining that the said liquid was indeed vodka. Also, the line to the other one is "When you reached down your sleep & you felt my BIG FAT COCK" taken from the mayfair suite in London, circa 84. My personal fave was at the hac in about 87, when there was a crush at the front so Barney asked us to "Move back at the back please, or else we'll be doin' a suffocation benefit next week - I don't give a fuck really but it sounds good if we say it"

Let's face it, it's a three chord noise that has been improvised so much over the years, it's impossible to tell if the Velvets' recorded version is even the definitive one ! Have you heard the Sisters of Mercy version ? That even changes the chord pattern !

Neither do they sound similar to the Velvet's (which is awful, imho, as is their album "white light/white heat")

In lyrics changes, there's also Subculture in Belgium, 1985 :

I like walking in the park When people fuck so hard

Originally posted by Vision Vision You're all wrong, the vodka reference is at gmex in manchester on sat 19th july, 1986. The stewards were throwing water on us at the front coz it was fucking hot. Barney decides to join 'em and starts throwing water at us too, maintaining that the said liquid was indeed vodka. Also, the line to the other one is "When you reached down your sleep & you felt my BIG FAT COCK" taken from the mayfair suite in London, circa 84.My personal fave was at the hac in about 87, when there was a crush at the front so Barney asked us to "Move back at the back please, or else we'll be doin' a suffocation benefit next week - I don't give a fuck really but it sounds good if we say it"

We're not "all wrong" - EGG wasn't played at G-Mex that year, this is a separate incident we are talking about. (There was a similar incident to the G-Mex one at WOMAD 85) Barney was rapping "vodka" at the start of EGG in this one we are refering to, but we can't remember which show it was - it's a few years ago though now !

Barney's notoriously pissed turn at Glastonbury '81 features our man screaming the chorus to "Under the Boardwalk" during (I think) "EGG". He really does sound twatted.

Without wanting to sound too trainspotter-ish, the "big fat cock" line and Barney laughing at the crushed punters were both from Central London Poly in Dec 85, captured in all its glory on the "More Than Despair" bootleg lp. Anyone at this gig? - it sounds fucking fantastic!!

M.

Originally posted by Tim Jauncey Let's face it, it's a three chord noise that has been improvised so much over the years, it's impossible to tell if the Velvets' recorded version is even the definitive one ! Have you heard the Sisters of Mercy version ? That even changes the chord pattern

At least, it's the Velvet (or Mr Reed) who wrote it. Well, if it's been written somewhere, since as you said it rather sounds like improvisation. Anyway, I don't understand why it's creditted to Lou Reed on the BBC1 live CD, since the music and the lyrics are completely different.

It was indeed - started so well with Atmosphere, then for me hearing Procession was worth the entrance fee alone. Over a year without it, then Hemel and CLP in the space of a month ! Sadly never since though, I think.

My favorite is still the classic "Now that we've grown up together, they've all taken drugs with me"

I like the rather incomprehensible comments Barney says at one point on the BBC1 cd, saying something about 'not bad for Salford lads' or something like that. In fact, I could only make "well" and "Salford", so who knows what the hell he was saying!

As for Sister Ray, that's my favorite VU track, JD's track has much more in common with the original than NO's (at least with JD they're actually trying to stick close to the lyrics!), but I find Barney's ruminations on the meaning of love to be quite humorous.

i hope all of you have visited water rats gigography on the web with detailed between song banter and lyric changes noted in order from 80-01 including the Glasgow gigs on the 8th and 9th. i read the whole thing in order and frequently revisit when listining to bootlegs.

Certainly did, but I can remember most of them as and when they happened anyway !

Just thought of a classic adlib to True Faith - "when I was a very small boy Michael Jackson played with me, now that we've grown up together he's playing with Jordy C...."

Time for the Tube to Brixton !

Originally posted by Sébastien Boisvert The Muffster has spoken!But do you meant that they played that "cocky" version of Lonesome Tonight on that date, or the "vodka" version of the other song I can't recall?If it's the latter and you have it on tape, please tell me which song it is exactly so that I can check if I have that one -- I've been dying to hear that for years, as well as the "My cock's as big as the M1... as the M1..." in The Perfect Kiss.Seb.

Sorry Seb, the 'cock' version.

Originally posted by Vision Vision Also, the line to the other one is "When you reached down your sleep & you felt my BIG FAT COCK" taken from the mayfair suite in London, circa 84.My personal fave was at the hac in about 87, when there was a crush at the front so Barney asked us to "Move back at the back please, or else we'll be doin' a suffocation benefit next week - I don't give a fuck really but it sounds good if we say it"

Both those quotes are Polytechnic of Central London 6/12/95, but that does'nt mean he did'nt say them elswhere too, he often used the same lines in those days.

what about "when i was a very small boy michael jackson played with me.."

I read in one of NO's books that they often changed Round & Round in concert to "What is it you need that makes your pussy bleed".

I also heard originally True Faith was supposed to be "now that we've growen up together they all take drugs with me" but Stephen Hague made them change it.

Yeh, that's the story according to Barney in that "Cash for Questions" on this site. He also claimed not to know what masturbation was, and called Ian silly. In other words it's a good read.

Originally posted by Ahmad Daizli I also heard originally True Faith was supposed to be "now that we've growen up together they all take drugs with me" but Stephen Hague made them change it.

That's right. The "they're all taking drugs with me" lyrics can be heard on the BBC1 live CD, which was recorded before the release of True Faith. I don't know if it's Stephen fucking Hague who made them change the lyrics to something... 'smoother', but obviously the 'official' lyrics are not the original ones...

The Royal Festival HAll gig provided the alternative lyrics for Perfect Kiss, I have the tape

Ive got a cock it looks like the M1 Its long and thin, its got a white line down it It curls about, it curls about Theres crashes on it and service stations too.

Also the same gig threw up these lyrics to Face Up

It wasnt the first time it wasnt the last time it wasnt between your legs i felt u

Great gig, they also did Decades

RFH in 84 was my first NO gig, so I was a bit privileged to hear Decades on a first concert. I vividly remember the variation on Perfect Kiss as well.

Was also at CLP in Dec 85. I think they only did about 40 minutes and no encore, but it was such a great show it didn't matter!

Temptation closing moment:

Bombs from above hit Bin Laden down below Taliban in Afghan you have no place to go.

Tonight I should have stayed at home, playing with my big fat bone...

Actually I always maintained it as reading: "WHEN I WAS A VERY SMALL BOY, VERY SMALL BOYS TORTURED ME, NOW THAT WE'VE THROWN UP TOGETHER, BUY ME ANOTHER PERNOD OR I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKIN' LEGS!!" Honestly, I didn't imagine this!!

Originally posted by Tim Jauncey Certainly did, but I can remember most of them as and when they happened anyway !Just thought of a classic adlib to True Faith - "when I was a very small boy Michael Jackson played with me, now that we've grown up together he's playing with Jordy C...."Time for the Tube to Brixton !

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 I like the rather incomprehensible comments Barney says at one point on the BBC1 cd, saying something about 'not bad for Salford lads' or something like that. In fact, I could only make "well" and "Salford", so who knows what the hell he was saying!As for Sister Ray, that's my favorite VU track, JD's track has much more in common with the original than NO's (at least with JD they're actually trying to stick close to the lyrics!), but I find Barney's ruminations on the meaning of love to be quite humorous.

"It looks like a British legion in Salford, this."

I had a bootleg of Stoke 1983 where The Village becomes:

Our love is like the earth The sun the trees and the afterbirth

a charming image I'm sure you'll agree

Hello all!

Last Friday, 12th Oct, Barney sang the 'the're all taking drugs with me' version of true faith! And I was there...... (still cannot believe it).

Jim

"yes ive never met anyone as fuked as you before"

temptation