"THE PERFECT KISS PIT OF DEATH"!!!! N.O. IN EXCELSIS!!!

From everybody's postings of late it seems widely acknowledged that 1985's titanic "The Perfect Kiss" remains New Order's most definitive statement of pure melodic simplicity and colossal seismic power. Everything we could ever want from and love about New Order seems to be contained in this song's staggering 8-and-a-half-minute three-chord crush-collision of humming bass, wiry guitars, thumping beats, crashing synthesised orchestration, skittery percussion - and croaking frogs. The climax has to be the nearest the band have ever come to achieving completely orgasmic FULL-TILT sonic meltdown: NO OTHER New Order moment comes anywhere near close!! True, there are many contenders, (BLT/ELC/All Day Long/Sunrise) but which other song of theirs best encapsulates their statement of intent so (um...) perfectly? Especially with the huge cataclysmic crash at the dying seconds as the awesome synth refrain washes all over you.....? I loved this track so much that a favourite indulgence of mine was to edit and mix together the original A-side with the instrumental/dub B-side (first practised with Blue Monday/The Beach a couple of years earlier, later achieved with Bizarre Love Triangle), thus creating an even bigger more gargantuan track. In so doing I created a MASSIVE mix of TPK and titled it "The Perfect Kiss Pit Of Death" which welded the original A-side with the two mixes on the B-side, beginning with the metallic drum coda of "Perfect Pit" and then cutting in and out of "Kiss" and "Kiss of Death" to create a super-long, mega-awesome, and truly monumental 15 MINUTE COLOSSUS OF PURE EARTH SHATTERING MAGNIFICENCE.....the screaming climax now doubled in length such that, by the time the final crash came along, I was almost reduced to tears of elation and left exhausted on the floor. And to think that the main body of this track only consists of three notes....I mean, really! Okay, it sounds like The Perfect Jerk-Off more like, I hear you say, but if you haven't done likewise with this utterly magnificent song, then you haven't really lived.......!!! It's SO much better than sex simply because it never fails to disappoint!!! Every time!! Also, I am being absolutely truthful in saying this, but, ever since the day "The Perfect Kiss" grabbed me by the 'nads and swung me round in the air before dropping me and pulping me to submission, I have never really harboured any desire to listen to "Blue Monday" ever again...... Honestly.

How about the video for PK? I love how they have "Ian" standing in the doorway while they're playing, bobbing his head along to the melody. Is it just me or does Hooky look like he's tearing up in his final close-up?

And what about the version on Substance Abuse?

Sure does look like Ian..... I wish the camera would stay on Hooky when he's beating the shit out of the drum pads but instead it cuts to barney's amazingly out of time one-stick cowbellorama!

Ah yes, the cowbells.....Barney sure does whack those things.

I love the extended jamming towards the end, Barney and Hooky just go crazy. The guy playing Ian is loving it. I think that was meant to convey that he'd love their stuff now if he heard it.

BTW was it Jonathan Demme's idea to do the Ian stand-in, or New Order's?

Right at the end when the camer a does a close up on each of the four member's faces: wouldn't it be a laugh to hazard a guess as to what exactly each one was thinking (of each other? of the performance? of the cameraman?)

• judging by the pissed off expressions, one can only wonder!!!! Are New Order being typically inscrutable here?

Ian ?!?

I just watched back that video (very orgasmic too, best video ever, IMHO) and I find it a bir far fetched to think the bloke in the doorway represents Ian.

What do the others think of it ?

Has the band ever said anything about this ?

Seeeing as Ian was the only one of New Order's family to pass on at that point (Martin Zero had 4-5 years left, Gretton 15), and the whole "obscuring smoke" in music videos is usually used to inidicate a spirit, I took it to be a representation of Ian. The fact that's he dressed exactly like Ian (dark shirt and gray pants seems to have been his fashion sense), I'd be willing to bet it's supposed to be Ian.

Also, there's a Joy Division poster behind Barney, which kinda tipped me off that maybe they exorcising the demons of their past.

Originally posted by Geoff The Klump Ian ?!?I just watched back that video (very orgasmic too, best video ever, IMHO) and I find it a bir far fetched to think the bloke in the doorway represents Ian.What do the others think of it ?Has the band ever said anything about this ?

Fuck me.....you know something? I never scrutinise anything on TV or Video as thoroughly as you guys (my short-sightedness might have summat to do wi' it!) but this Ian business is intriguing me. Hell - I'm going to just have to watch it all over again.....without blinking for ten minutes.

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 Seeeing as Ian was the only one of New Order's family to pass on at that point (Martin Zero had 4-5 years left, Gretton 15), and the whole "obscuring smoke" in music videos is usually used to inidicate a spirit, I took it to be a representation of Ian. The fact that's he dressed exactly like Ian (dark shirt and gray pants seems to have been his fashion sense), I'd be willing to bet it's supposed to be Ian.Also, there's a Joy Division poster behind Barney, which kinda tipped me off that maybe they exorcising the demons of their past.

I watched the vid on a telly with a rather big screen but still couldn't tell what the guy was wearing...

Dude, I'm telling you, he's got on a black shirt and gray pants, which is basically what Ian wore everyday of his life. Maybe we're catching a seperate video, or I might be reading more into it than was originally intended.

Also, I am being absolutely truthful in saying this, but, ever since the day "The Perfect Kiss" grabbed me by the 'nads and swung me round in the air before dropping me and pulping me to submission, I have never really harboured any desire to listen to "Blue Monday" ever again...... Honestly

this sounds familiar (apart from the nads bit, of course)..."the perfect kiss" is fucking sublime (and unlike bm i never tire of it). how anyone can fail to succumb to its charms is beyond me. i still cant believe it didn`t even make the top 40 on its release (and blt too)..what the fuck was that about?????

I love the Perfect Kiss video!!!! I love the song even more...That is a song that I have to listen to when I run...it makes me run doubletime whenever it comes on...I have to mix it so that the song comes on in the end of my run....

The video is such a joy!!! The best part about the video is that they all look miserable...a Perfect NewOrder moment.

Stephen morris plays his keyboard so well and Hooky hits his drum pad with mastery!!!!

I KNOW IT"S NOT IAN, I'm just saying it's supposed to be him watching the band. Why else would his face be obscured? Also, if you catch the Subculture video, it's basically a "behind the scenes" for PK, and they feature shots of the door creaking open with smoke coming in and the shadowy figure coming to the doorway. From watching that video more than twenty times, and observing that Hooky seems to be choked up at the end (would he be upset if it was just a crew member) that it's supposed to be Ian (but not really him, of course)

I actually think the guy in question is NO resident sound guy Andy - check out the start of the PFD vid and you see him at the mixing desk CTD

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but the first impression I had when I saw the video was "That's supposed to be Ian coming back and observing them carrying on without him". I think I prefer my interpretation

The Perfect Kiss doesn't make it into my New Order top 30,I only occasionly succumb to it's charms, some of the synth sounds are sublime and sweep me along but I'm held back by the pots and pans and the frogs(While I appreciate the comic value of NO, and the intended ending would have better underlined this).The percusiion throughout grates ever so slightly especially the kick drum sound. In my defence, it seems New Order represent a broad church and some members don't like songs I hold dear such as The Village,Run and Mr Disco which have all recently been slated here

Originally posted by Geoff The Klump Ian ?!?I just watched back that video (very orgasmic too, best video ever, IMHO) and I find it a bir far fetched to think the bloke in the doorway represents Ian.What do the others think of it ?Has the band ever said anything about this ?

I haven't watched this video fo ryears, but I've seen it many many many many many times and I've never thought the guy in the doorway could have been Ian or looked like him!

Blimey!!! - what an outburst of Perfect Love for the monumental Kiss Chase song.

Martin... you are never alone. Spent a great deal of my youth combining me fave moments of side a and side b until I too had such a massive version a typical C90 couldn't cope. Also treated several other NO masters to the Huntsman re-mix trick. Was a bummer getting the cuts right eh!? - very tricky to make the whole show seamless... I'm sure if I played one back it would be necter to the bees and as slick as a horses well groomed hair prior to an important show.

On the subject of 'The Village Idiots', Mrs. 'Discoid' and 'Running Unit' I can only show my undying backing to Shimmering Ian. 3 outstanding New Order moments that make my toes curl on every listen.

The point about Ian Curtis... no doubt whatsoever Ian's spirit was purposefully suggested in several ways in the Perfect Kissing System video - The JD poster hung on the wall was the 'dead' giveaway. You've got to put these things into context, at that moment in NO's history, they were (prior to this video) always wanting to prove they could make it as NO and not live off the JD cudos alone. This video was embracing their JD history, whilst unleashing the NO beast onto the world after a few years groundwork... and what a beast!

Ian Curtis... Rest in Peace.

Originally posted by Huntsman Blimey!!! - what an outburst of Perfect Love for the monumental Kiss Chase song.Martin... you are never alone. Spent a great deal of my youth combining me fave moments of side a and side b until I too had such a massive version a typical C90 couldn't cope. Also treated several other NO masters to the Huntsman re-mix trick. Was a bummer getting the cuts right eh!? - very tricky to make the whole show seamless... I'm sure if I played one back it would be necter to the bees and as slick as a horses well groomed hair prior to an important show..

And remember - in them far off days before the CD revolution and Digital overload, it was just me with my red-hot fingers hovering over the pause button of my tape deck and the 12" warping itself stupid on the turntable. Nothing more. Nothing less. Fuck me, I worked fucking hard doing all that shit, getting the edits just right!!

Originally posted by velocity girl this sounds familiar (apart from the nads bit, of course)..."the perfect kiss" is fucking sublime (and unlike bm i never tire of it). how anyone can fail to succumb to its charms is beyond me. i still cant believe it didn`t even make the top 40 on its release (and blt too)..what the fuck was that about?????

Yeah, me too, gutted that Perfect Kiss only managed no. 46 and Bizarre Love Triangle skulked as far as no. 56. Not even New Order fans would rush out to buy a song that was already on the LP. Just think: it could have been re-issued as a double A-side back then and might have gone much higher - especially after "Substance" came out in 1987, taking advantage of their boosted commercial profile from the huge success of "True Faith".