and i was...
TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD
<<1. Best Bit, 2. Worst Bit, 3. Why u love or hate it, 4. Percentage rating, 5. The most scared you have ever been>>
57 replies · 14,247 views
and i was...
TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD
<<1. Best Bit, 2. Worst Bit, 3. Why u love or hate it, 4. Percentage rating, 5. The most scared you have ever been>>
Hi Major! ![]()
Here's the verdijct from the Ijcelandjic panel then fjorr you:
1 Great song - but fer me the best thing about Touched is THAT video:D
2 Worst bit - can't think of one;)
3 Disliked it when I first bought it - soon learned to love it - one of my favourite 12" records is the Blue Monday / Touched 12" on Quest Records - always had Touched remix blaring out the bedroom windy in the summer
4 90%
5 Toss up between my first old firm game at Ibrox in 93, or nearly crashing 14 miles from Glasgow a day before my 20th Birthday - The driver who's name funnily enough was Barney - fell asleep, the car went from the fast lane to the hard shoulder in a sliding movement - luckily avoiding 2 cars - someone shouted - Barney woke up - just as the car hit the kerb - we were on 2 fookin wheels (Dukes of Hazzard style) the car landed.......then the dozy bastard nearly killed us by pulling straight back into the fast lane - just missing one of those massive Eddie Stobart lorries![]()
Originally posted by Oh Look! There Goes The Laughing Martian Again!! Hi Major!
Here's the verdijct from the Ijcelandjic panel then fjorr you:1) The Video2) The messy original mix: muddy, scuzzy, not very clear, sadly...perhaps an Arthur Baker volte-face after the sterility of the original 1983 "Confusion" 12" EP??3) Not that bad a song - still play it today. Reminds me of my leaving Newcastle Polytechnic but still hanging around months after to catch the remaining parties that were still going on long after we all graduated (this is November to December 1987 we're talking about here...)4) 75%5) I'm always scared every bleeding waking minute of my life matey.... I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of going outdoors. I'm scared of kids. I'm scared of the rain. I'm scared of public transport. I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of going to the toilet. I'm scared of my reflection in the mirror. I'm scared of reading the papers or watching the news. I am the original paranoid android and anyone who dares to dispute this with me shall be beaten and punched and kicked to death with my broken floor tom as an additional accessory to murder with intent. ;)
you scare me.
Originally posted by Major Tarantino you scare me.
Thanks kiddo - I knew I could always count on you to make me feel even better with myself.... ;)
Fatter, hippier, more reductive, not wanking too much, regular exercise at the gym (three lays a week), like a dog, in a rage, with halitosis....
Originally posted by Cheeky Monkey 1. Again Major T another alround top banana piece.2. I was harassing the first aid bloke for a pen when they played it in Glasgow last year.3. Why wouldn't you love it?4. 90%5. Meeting all you folks in Manchester was scary but to be horribly honest, the most scared I've EVER and WILL ever be was when I realised Rob (Mr Monkey) wasn't going to make it.
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That kinda makes my scariest moment seem like a walk in the park.
Originally posted by Oh Look! There Goes The Laughing Martian Again!! > Originally posted by Major Tarantino> > > you scare me.
Thanks kiddo - I knew I could always count on you to make me feel even better with myself.... ;)
Fatter, hippier, more reductive, not wanking too much, regular exercise at the gym (three lays a week), like a dog, in a rage, with halitosis....
They are coming. Maybe they are watching you now. ![]()
Thank fook I've decided I'm not gonna be doing that TV programme then. Them folks at Channel 4 just don't know how lucky they are now having had this reprieve granted them......
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You never answered my question Marty on the Mancs thread so I'm guessing you just think I'm a baboon rather than Cheeky. ![]()
1.) has to be the VIDEO.
2.) er...not much, really. it took time to grow on me, but it amuses me like nothing else now.
3.) while i've still never had the opportunity to see the Order live, i've heard various live versions. and they mostly amuse me...'specially when Barney gets WAAAAY into it and it becomes "Touched (WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) By The Hand Of God." that's my absolute favourite. particularly when he does it every single time he says "touched."
4.) 90%
5.) will have to take a rain check on this one. i can't immediately think of the time i've been most scared. which in and of itself scares me. ![]()
Marty, in my mind this " DOH!!!!
You really got me there!"
doesn't really answer anything.
and worried :(
Well Cheekeh, your question has now been answered fully......
Click back in there and have a look! ;)
(and whilst yer at it, try and find a few more answers that the others aint got yet... ;) )
Originally posted by Major Tarantino and i was...TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD
<<1. Best Bit, 2. Worst Bit, 3. Why u love or hate it, 4. Percentage rating, 5. The most scared you have ever been>>
The video, hands down one of the funniest I've ever seen
The artwork for the 12 inch single (a psychedelic sea shell? Come on Petey Saville, you know you can do better!)
My fave moment in the song-"I've never looked at you in a sexual way in my life before, but then I've never woken up so desperatly like this before" Also, in the video when Hooky flips off the camera
95%
Every time I ask a girl out (you'd swear I have rabies by the way I shake and stammer, not to mention foam at the mouth)
Best Bit - I'd have to say the video clip, especially at the beginning where the whole band kind of jumps up in the air in slow motion. Cracks me up still after seeing it a million times.
Worst Bit - While I haven't tired of this song, its probably not as long lasting as say The Perfect Kiss or Bizzare Love Triangle ...
Why u love or hate it - I love it because its really catchy and whenever I hear the song, I think about the video clip and it makes me laugh. Barneys WHOOPS in the live versions are classic to.
Percentage rating - 90%
Starting my new telemarketing job last night and being told to fuck off for my first 5 calls .... Also walking in on two 60 year olds having sex but thats another story which I don't think anyone wants to hear !!
Best bit is the video of course, but I like Barney's singing on this one. Actually like the lyrics as well.
Worst bit: gotta agree that the 12" sleeve isn't one of the best.
Have always liked and played it a lot, as well as the Salvation soundtrack version. Not one of their all-time bests, but just a good single from the late 80's
Rating 80%
Most scared? Probably before asking a girl out for the first time in high school. That, or just missing a tornado while visiting relatives in Kansas.
1.Best Bit-The video and song is good too. I never tire of it-the video that is! Anyone notice the the actor Bill Paxton is in that video? Please tell me someone noticed!
2.Worst bit-Hooky in a cod piece. That is just scary!
3.I like all the versions of the song-even the version off of Salvation soundtrack!
4.Rating 85%
To those who are squeemish, don't read! Most scared, after I delivered my daughter, I lost 4 units of blood, and had a very high potential of having a stroke due to my blood pressure while I was in labor! I was more concerned with her well being though! Isn't that like a mom!
Originally posted by Kimberly Raymond-Jensen 1.Best Bit-The video and song is good too. I never tire of it-the video that is! Anyone notice the the actor Bill Paxton is in that video? Please tell me someone noticed!2.Worst bit-Hooky in a cod piece. That is just scary!
3.I like all the versions of the song-even the version off of Salvation soundtrack!4.Rating 85%To those who are squeemish, don't read! Most scared, after I delivered my daughter, I lost 4 units of blood, and had a very high potential of having a stroke due to my blood pressure while I was in labor! I was more concerned with her well being though! Isn't that like a mom!
Kim, i noticed! :D and i forgot about Hooky in the cod piece. that IS quite terrifying. still won't stop me from watching the video again, though! ![]()
and hrrm. scariest moment. i still can't think of a good, proper, singular gigantic Scary Thing. i can think of things i've been told that happened, but as i don't remember it myself, i don't think it's fair to list.
hrrm. perhaps it's a recurring dream i had as a child? that's all i can think of now. it involved the Incredible Hulk (as portrayed by Lou Ferrigno) rescuing me from a burning house. i was scared enough of him, but even more scared by the fire...and then he threw me into a (seemingly) bottomless pit in the front yard of my grandparents' house (which was where the fire was taking place, naturally...though the house in the dream was two stories, whereas my grandparents' actual house was a ranch-style affair...gotta love dream logic...
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only, of course, it wasn't bottomless at all. everything was ultra-vivid...and i always ended up spread-eagle on my stomach on whatever bed i was in (my crib, over at my mom's house on one side of her bed... ), and i hit HARD. the impact hurt, knocked the wind out of me.
and it became scarier each time it occurred, cos i knew what was going to happen. you'd think that would make it less scary, but it didn't. luckily, i grew out of that particular recurring nightmare... ![]()
and grew into a just plain screwy recurring dream involving Big Bird being beheaded. but perhaps now is not the time or place for that... ![]()
p.s. what is a cod piece?
What's missing is the second sequencer line at the start - we just get the bass sequencer now which only has the one part.
Originally posted by snucker p.s. what is a cod piece?

This fashion accessory from the 14th century was revived by a slew of metal bands in the 1980s.
Best Bit - Great lyric throughout (by New Order standards, at least).
Worst Bit - (indulge me here) The engineering, at least on the version I have. Barney's up close and personal with the microphone on this one (he's trying to sing, God bless his heart), and there are a ton of plosives...those exploding "BUH" sounds...especially toward the end. It's called a pop screen, people, and you can make one for nothing out of an old nylon stocking. Plus there's a really sloppy-ass vocal edit after the first verse. ![]()
Love/Hate - I don't trust this one...why was it not on "Substance?" What are they trying to hide? Oh wait...it came out four months after Substance. Nevermind.
The sound of this one is a bit dated: the stock Emulator "Orchestra Hit" (see Sign O' the Times, also 1987), the synth choir, etc.
85%
After I had children all personal fear was purged from my being; as long as they're safe, I fear nothing (except millipedes, maybe). Schmaltzy but true.
This is my first time on doing this song review thingy, so please bear with me ;)
Ok..
<<1. Best Bit - " I was TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHEEEEEEEEED" WHOOOOOO!!!! & Gillian living out her fetish fantasy in the video!
Worst Bit - Barney doesnt scream as wildly as he used to :(
Why u love or hate it - i love it, so much in fact i dedicated a thread to it not so long ago :D powerful, great words, great bass, great singalone tune.
Percentage rating - oooh.. gotta be pushing for the 90's say 87%
The most scared you have ever been - when i very nearly fell off the top of a 22story towerblock... i fuckin shit myself ![]()
Originally posted by And You Will Know Me By the Trail of Empty G&Ts 5. when Ross first told Rachel how he felt about her on "Friends", a real nailbiter- still gets me even during the repeats
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Brilliant Iain mate - fookin pissed mesel!!!!
1- The band looking like Motley Crue doing Spinal Tap in the video is always the thing that makes me laugh the most about this one! Gillian playing her cheesy 80's keyboard guitar in those thigh-high kinky booties was a strange turn-on to say the least!!! Fuckin hilarious!
2 - The drum sound (can't tell here if it's drum machine or live drums) was a bit superficial and tinny-sounding - not enough bollocks...
3 - It's one of their better songs IMHO - "True faith" was just too blatantly chart-friendly for my liking (and that stupid video sucked too) and even though I didn't reckon much of this one on first listen, it became as they say in the game.. "a grower"...
4 - 78%
5 - Had many close scrapes as a younger kid - especially with all the gang warfare that I used to somehow become embroiled with chiefly by virtue of a few of us - me and my mates in Newcastle at the time - being skinheads. One time I really thought I was going to die when I was about 16 or 17 and was riding pillion on a scooter driven by my mate Gordy from Wallsend. We were being rammed from behind by one of the other older biker lads who'd taken a huge exception to us riding through his street. Gordy was doing nearly 60 at this point and I could feel myself almost losing my grip as the bastard kept slamming his fookin Harley into us from behind...I was genuinely quite petrified of the prospect of not seeing the end of that day back then....thankfully a couple of years later I moved out of the area and put all that shit behind me.....a sadly inevitable part of growing up in a shithole I suppose...
Originally posted by ShugZV > Originally posted by And You Will Know Me By the Trail of Empty G&Ts> > > 5. when Ross first told Rachel how he felt about her on "Friends", a real nailbiter- still gets me even during the repeats
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Brilliant Iain mate - fookin pissed mesel!!!!
Hope you didn't make too much of a mess, sir! The competition is pretty tough these days and I just don't have the stamina that Martin does. BTW, Martin
Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101
Originally posted by And You Will Know Me By the Trail of Empty G&Ts Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101
...Iain, being the forum that this is...if you want it really badly, you must sing. ;)
like this:
"express yrrrrselllf, it's one-oh-one..."
just like *that*. now, you give it a try. ![]()
Originally posted by janaki > Originally posted by And You Will Know Me By the Trail of Empty G&Ts> Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101 Room 101
...Iain, being the forum that this is...if you want it really badly, you must sing. ;)
like this:
"express yrrrrselllf, it's one-oh-one..."
just like *that*. now, you give it a try. ![]()
OK, J, here I go! (sung to the tune of Eddie Murphy's chant "I want the knife" in the Tibetan monastery in the movie "The Golden Child")
"I-I-I-I-I want room 101. Give g-g-give me room 101."
Oops, now I'm :o after singing in front of everyone.
Originally posted by Major Tarantino and i was...TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD
<<1. Best Bit, 2. Worst Bit, 3. Why u love or hate it, 4. Percentage rating, 5. The most scared you have ever been>>
The song itself is so uplifting. The worst bit is that it didnt do better in the charts Love it for Gillians corset 85% The most scared was when some idiot tried to mug me with a machete in New Cross about 14 years ago. Didn't get a fucking penny though.
Originally posted by Major Tarantino and i was...TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD
<<1. Best Bit, 2. Worst Bit, 3. Why u love or hate it, 4. Percentage rating, 5. The most scared you have ever been>>
Hearing it in the Hacienda on a wednesday afternoon whilst Vini and Rob Gray got ready to soundcheck, Alan Erasmus put it on ? Memory inducer. Barfight in Brindisi, Italy, got punched in the throat
Best bit - That modulating synth melody in the choruses. Terrific!
Worst bit - The orchestral stabs are totally hokey (heck, they were hokey when the song came out), but they're kinda funny to me now.
Love/hate - When this was released, I felt that New Order will still on the decline (especially after the string of sell-out singles that started with "Shellshock"), and this just seemed to be further evidence that they were fast becoming irrelevant. Even if it was done for a soundtrack, it just felt...cheap. But that said, is was still New Order. The soft spot was already there. Nowadays, I even kinda dig it (I'd love to hear the 12" version again). But it'll never be anything more than a nice single to me.
Rating - I'll be generous. 70%.
The most scared I've ever been - Okay, this is a little lengthy.
A few years back, before I moved in with my boyfriend, I always would go to sleep with some music on. I didn't have a timer feature or anything on my stereo, so I'd just set the volume low, throw on a disc, and hope to conk out before it was over (usually worked). On occasion, though, I'd roll over on the remote control and wreak some kind of havoc (which would usually wake me up and force me to fumble with the damned thing in the dark). Anyhoo...
I was going through a big Beatles phase, particularly the "white" album. Both discs were in the changer for a few solid months. And one night I went through my usual routine. The volume was just a wee bit louder than usual, but not enough to get me out of bed to adjust it. It was the first really warm night of the season, and I was already sweaty and cranky. Screw it, i thought.
Well, at some point I must've rolled over on the remote and hit the "repeat" button. Specifically, during the musique concrete freakout that is "Revolution 9." Lord knows how many times the track played through, but...well, there's a section in there that has a really evil laugh in it alongside the swirling background music and snatches of dialogue. And it filtered its way into my subconscious, fucked around with my dreams, and I woke up convinced that the devil himself was in my room. I had a real sense of (oh, God, this is gonna make me sound like a total wingnut) a presence of evil in my bedroom. And it was watching me, or at least aware of me, and aware that I was aware of it. I was dripping sweat, and absolutely frozen - my hairs were standing on end. Fully fucking freaked out.
From then on, I switched to either Appalacian folk music or Brian Eno ONLY.
Al Jarvis wrote:
- The original opening used to come in like a plane crashlanding in your living room. Remember Finsbury 87 when we were all pushed well back cos of problems with the stage then when the Order opened we this it was like a tidal wave of bodies unleashed on the stage again.
- It's too 'toned down' now. Something's missing but I can't quite put a finger on it.
I remember getting into a ruck with a security twat because i wouldn't move back from the barrier when it started collapsing... the afore mentioned security twat had failed to notice hundreds of people pushing forward making it a bit difficult for me to move anywhere!!!
This song has been below 50% for me since i first heard it ?The video still gives me a giggle to this day though !
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1.The lyrics, the sound of it, Bernard's voice 2.The video 3.The video isn't as horrible as say, "1963"'s video, but I just think the only people in this video that looked convincingly like rock stars were Gillian and Hooky. I couldn't see Steve very well, and no offence, but Bernard looks like a little boy playing dress-up in this video. 4.95.5%
1.The sequenced bass line
2.The 'now sounding a bit crappy' '80's bits,especially on the 12"
3.Much better live,as has a cracking Hooky bassline in it which was a major disappointment to me when it was left off for record,& the 'now sounding a .....'above.Also,the video.Funny at first.Not now.Tho' Gillian in that corset...'it's getting hot in herre...'!
4.70%
5.Blackpool's 'The Big One....I don't like heights....& the morning after the night before...:( ![]()
[01] The Video! My second favorite New Order video next to TPK. [02] Gillian's boots in the video.:D [03] Same with # 1 [04] B [05} I witnessed a bank hold-up a little more than a decade ago. I was driving when I passed this bank when suddenly a car blocked the road and people fully armed with masks came out (I later learned/saw that some of the robbers were already inside prior to the blocking of the road) and poitned an armalite at the cars (I was in the front row). At first, I thought they were shooting a movie/film, hehehe.
Indeed*!*