TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD

and i was...

TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD

<<1. Best Bit, 2. Worst Bit, 3. Why u love or hate it, 4. Percentage rating, 5. The most scared you have ever been>>

Hi Major!

Here's the verdijct from the Ijcelandjic panel then fjorr you:

1. The Video
2. The messy original mix: muddy, scuzzy, not very clear, sadly...perhaps an Arthur Baker volte-face after the sterility of the original 1983 "Confusion" 12" EP??
3. Not that bad a song - still play it today. Reminds me of my leaving Newcastle Polytechnic but still hanging around months after to catch the remaining parties that were still going on long after we all graduated (this is November to December 1987 we're talking about here...)
4. 75%
5. I'm always scared every bleeding waking minute of my life matey.... I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of going outdoors. I'm scared of kids. I'm scared of the rain. I'm scared of public transport. I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of going to the toilet. I'm scared of my reflection in the mirror. I'm scared of reading the papers or watching the news. I am the original paranoid android and anyone who dares to dispute this with me shall be beaten and punched and kicked to death with my broken floor tom as an additional accessory to murder with intent. ;)

Originally posted by Oh Look! There Goes The Laughing Martian Again!! Hi Major! Here's the verdijct from the Ijcelandjic panel then fjorr you:1) The Video2) The messy original mix: muddy, scuzzy, not very clear, sadly...perhaps an Arthur Baker volte-face after the sterility of the original 1983 "Confusion" 12" EP??3) Not that bad a song - still play it today. Reminds me of my leaving Newcastle Polytechnic but still hanging around months after to catch the remaining parties that were still going on long after we all graduated (this is November to December 1987 we're talking about here...)4) 75%5) I'm always scared every bleeding waking minute of my life matey.... I'm scared of the future. I'm scared of going outdoors. I'm scared of kids. I'm scared of the rain. I'm scared of public transport. I'm scared of failure. I'm scared of going to the toilet. I'm scared of my reflection in the mirror. I'm scared of reading the papers or watching the news. I am the original paranoid android and anyone who dares to dispute this with me shall be beaten and punched and kicked to death with my broken floor tom as an additional accessory to murder with intent. ;)

you scare me.

1. The end - "toucheski... toucheski"
2. Not much
3. The video is great, the song is great, its great.
4. 95%
5. We went camping for my mate's 18th birthday in a disused quarry. In the middle of the night we heard noises and then these blokes appeared with guns wearing balaclava's. I was so scared. It turned out to be some of my mate's friends from college who painted water pistols black and decided to ambush us. I did literally shit my pants.

1. Again Major T another alround top banana piece.
2. I was harassing the first aid bloke for a pen when they played it in Glasgow last year.
3. Why wouldn't you love it?
4. 90%
5. Meeting all you folks in Manchester was scary but to be horribly honest, the most scared I've EVER and WILL ever be was when I realised Rob (Mr Monkey) wasn't going to make it.

Originally posted by Major Tarantino you scare me.

Thanks kiddo - I knew I could always count on you to make me feel even better with myself.... ;)

Fatter, hippier, more reductive, not wanking too much, regular exercise at the gym (three lays a week), like a dog, in a rage, with halitosis....

Originally posted by Cheeky Monkey 1. Again Major T another alround top banana piece.2. I was harassing the first aid bloke for a pen when they played it in Glasgow last year.3. Why wouldn't you love it?4. 90%5. Meeting all you folks in Manchester was scary but to be horribly honest, the most scared I've EVER and WILL ever be was when I realised Rob (Mr Monkey) wasn't going to make it.

That kinda makes my scariest moment seem like a walk in the park.

Originally posted by Oh Look! There Goes The Laughing Martian Again!! > Originally posted by Major Tarantino> > > you scare me.

Thanks kiddo - I knew I could always count on you to make me feel even better with myself.... ;)

Fatter, hippier, more reductive, not wanking too much, regular exercise at the gym (three lays a week), like a dog, in a rage, with halitosis....

They are coming. Maybe they are watching you now.

It's ok Maj, Marty nearly scares me that much too ;)

Thank fook I've decided I'm not gonna be doing that TV programme then. Them folks at Channel 4 just don't know how lucky they are now having had this reprieve granted them......

You never answered my question Marty on the Mancs thread so I'm guessing you just think I'm a baboon rather than Cheeky.

What question?? Huh??!

1.) has to be the VIDEO. 2.) er...not much, really. it took time to grow on me, but it amuses me like nothing else now. 3.) while i've still never had the opportunity to see the Order live, i've heard various live versions. and they mostly amuse me...'specially when Barney gets WAAAAY into it and it becomes "Touched (WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) By The Hand Of God." that's my absolute favourite. particularly when he does it every single time he says "touched." 4.) 90% 5.) will have to take a rain check on this one. i can't immediately think of the time i've been most scared. which in and of itself scares me.

Marty, in my mind this " DOH!!!!

You really got me there!"

doesn't really answer anything. and worried :(

Well Cheekeh, your question has now been answered fully......

Click back in there and have a look! ;)

(and whilst yer at it, try and find a few more answers that the others aint got yet... ;) )

Originally posted by Major Tarantino and i was...TOUCHED BY THE HAND OF GOD

<<1. Best Bit, 2. Worst Bit, 3. Why u love or hate it, 4. Percentage rating, 5. The most scared you have ever been>>

1. The title Barney gave it at Nagoya in 87
2. All of it - especially the current live version
3. It's just shit, tired NO-by-numbers shit
4. 17.5%
5. When I found a lump on one of my nads

1. the title of the song
2. everything except the parts before the chorus
3. it sounds like a rough song that never achieved its full potential
4. 36%
5. when i woke up in my dorm room at three in the morning and a drunk guy was trying to climb into my bed. the second time i wasnt as scared though, just kind of annoyed.

1. TBTHG Bias remix- love it to pieces (exactly why i want the song of the month back)
2. not too impressed with the drums, though I don't how I would improve it
3. I don't think it's in the original but I just love the guitar riff in the Bias remix
4. overall 93% (Bias remix gets 115%)
5. when Ross first told Rachel how he felt about her on "Friends", a real nailbiter- still gets me even during the repeats ;)

1. The video, hands down one of the funniest I've ever seen

2. The artwork for the 12 inch single (a psychedelic sea shell? Come on Petey Saville, you know you can do better!)

3. My fave moment in the song-"I've never looked at you in a sexual way in my life before, but then I've never woken up so desperatly like this before" Also, in the video when Hooky flips off the camera

4. 95%

5. Every time I ask a girl out (you'd swear I have rabies by the way I shake and stammer, not to mention foam at the mouth)

1. Best Bit - I'd have to say the video clip, especially at the beginning where the whole band kind of jumps up in the air in slow motion. Cracks me up still after seeing it a million times.

2. Worst Bit - While I haven't tired of this song, its probably not as long lasting as say The Perfect Kiss or Bizzare Love Triangle ...

3. Why u love or hate it - I love it because its really catchy and whenever I hear the song, I think about the video clip and it makes me laugh. Barneys WHOOPS in the live versions are classic to.

4. Percentage rating - 90%

5. Starting my new telemarketing job last night and being told to fuck off for my first 5 calls .... Also walking in on two 60 year olds having sex but thats another story which I don't think anyone wants to hear !!

1. Best bit is the video of course, but I like Barney's singing on this one. Actually like the lyrics as well.

2. Worst bit: gotta agree that the 12" sleeve isn't one of the best.

3. Have always liked and played it a lot, as well as the Salvation soundtrack version. Not one of their all-time bests, but just a good single from the late 80's

4. Rating 80%

5. Most scared? Probably before asking a girl out for the first time in high school. That, or just missing a tornado while visiting relatives in Kansas.

1.Best Bit-The video and song is good too. I never tire of it-the video that is! Anyone notice the the actor Bill Paxton is in that video? Please tell me someone noticed! 2.Worst bit-Hooky in a cod piece. That is just scary! 3.I like all the versions of the song-even the version off of Salvation soundtrack! 4.Rating 85%

To those who are squeemish, don't read! Most scared, after I delivered my daughter, I lost 4 units of blood, and had a very high potential of having a stroke due to my blood pressure while I was in labor! I was more concerned with her well being though! Isn't that like a mom!

Originally posted by Kimberly&nbspRaymond-Jensen 1.Best Bit-The video and song is good too. I never tire of it-the video that is! Anyone notice the the actor Bill Paxton is in that video? Please tell me someone noticed!2.Worst bit-Hooky in a cod piece. That is just scary! 3.I like all the versions of the song-even the version off of Salvation soundtrack!4.Rating 85%To those who are squeemish, don't read! Most scared, after I delivered my daughter, I lost 4 units of blood, and had a very high potential of having a stroke due to my blood pressure while I was in labor! I was more concerned with her well being though! Isn't that like a mom!

Kim, i noticed! :D and i forgot about Hooky in the cod piece. that IS quite terrifying. still won't stop me from watching the video again, though!

and hrrm. scariest moment. i still can't think of a good, proper, singular gigantic Scary Thing. i can think of things i've been told that happened, but as i don't remember it myself, i don't think it's fair to list.

hrrm. perhaps it's a recurring dream i had as a child? that's all i can think of now. it involved the Incredible Hulk (as portrayed by Lou Ferrigno) rescuing me from a burning house. i was scared enough of him, but even more scared by the fire...and then he threw me into a (seemingly) bottomless pit in the front yard of my grandparents' house (which was where the fire was taking place, naturally...though the house in the dream was two stories, whereas my grandparents' actual house was a ranch-style affair...gotta love dream logic... )

only, of course, it wasn't bottomless at all. everything was ultra-vivid...and i always ended up spread-eagle on my stomach on whatever bed i was in (my crib, over at my mom's house on one side of her bed... ), and i hit HARD. the impact hurt, knocked the wind out of me.

and it became scarier each time it occurred, cos i knew what was going to happen. you'd think that would make it less scary, but it didn't. luckily, i grew out of that particular recurring nightmare...

and grew into a just plain screwy recurring dream involving Big Bird being beheaded. but perhaps now is not the time or place for that...

1. barney's delivery of the lyrics (could we say this is one of the most sexually explicit songs that new order has done?)
2. very 80s (wait, that may not be a bad thing :))
3. cuz it's very 80s and a bit tongue and cheek. whenever i hear this song, i can only imagine the video that came with it.
4. 90%
5. in grade 8, asking for an extension on my charlie chaplin biography the day it was due. i was really afraid of my teacher.

p.s. what is a cod piece?

What's missing is the second sequencer line at the start - we just get the bass sequencer now which only has the one part.

1. Hard to single out a best bit, let's say the drums or the line "I was standing by the ocean when I saw your face, I couldn't look at you"
2. The Video, I hate it, poodle rock is a bit of an easy target to spoof, I like a more enigmatic approach. Some of the Brass sounds utilised sound a bit pompous.
3. As I've alluded to in the past, after the initial euphoria of PCL and Blue Monday and discovering the rest of the back catalogue during 1983. I was a little disappointed with, what I perceived to be the less electronic direction of Low Life and this was further compounded by the release of Brotherhood. I had drifted away from the band by the time of the release of Touched…. and it was probably out for a while before I paid much attention to it. I recall being in a scuzzy bar which had a good jukebox and this came on it and re-ignited all the old feelings I'd had for, what I still proclaimed to be my favourite band. On that occasion one of the lads remarked "aren't these your favourite band?" I felt a bit sheepish they'd released this and I didn't even own it. /I could never hate this, I love it. 4.90%
4. I've been scared a lot, I've been a passenger in a car that weaved towards oncoming traffic at 80-90mph and left the road into a field and on another occasion a car pulled out in front of one I was travelling in at about 60mph and the driver miraculously swerved behind it and back onto the road we were travelling on, without us even stopping, we just kind of looked at one another. Standing on a diving board about 30 ft up, riding down a near vertical drop of about the same height on my bike, running out of path while doing about 30mph down“Pendle hill” and realising the bush I was about to bail off into could be above a couple of hundred ft drop. being chased by the old bill. I was once playing on the roof of the local GPO telephone exchange and a young W.P.C. chased me about a mile until I got away and the bastards I was with all grassed anyway, I think they took it a bit easy on me though as she was impressed with my speed and stamina. I think the biggest taste of fear I’ve experienced though is contemplating death as a youngster, I recall shitting me pants, not literally, at the thought of no longer existing.

Originally posted by snucker p.s. what is a cod piece?

This fashion accessory from the 14th century was revived by a slew of metal bands in the 1980s.

1. Best Bit - Great lyric throughout (by New Order standards, at least).

2. Worst Bit - (indulge me here) The engineering, at least on the version I have. Barney's up close and personal with the microphone on this one (he's trying to sing, God bless his heart), and there are a ton of plosives...those exploding "BUH" sounds...especially toward the end. It's called a pop screen, people, and you can make one for nothing out of an old nylon stocking. Plus there's a really sloppy-ass vocal edit after the first verse.

3. Love/Hate - I don't trust this one...why was it not on "Substance?" What are they trying to hide? Oh wait...it came out four months after Substance. Nevermind.

The sound of this one is a bit dated: the stock Emulator "Orchestra Hit" (see Sign O' the Times, also 1987), the synth choir, etc.

4. 85%

5. After I had children all personal fear was purged from my being; as long as they're safe, I fear nothing (except millipedes, maybe). Schmaltzy but true.