Who said footballers are stupid?

You've probably seen it before but it still makes me smile!

DAVID BECKHAM: "My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."

MARK VIDUKA: "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."

DAVID BECKHAM: "Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had."

NEVILLE SOUTHALL: "If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day."

PAUL GASCOIGNE: “I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable."

ALAN SHEARER: "I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well."

MARK DRAPER: "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."

PETER SHILTON: "You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out."

STAN COLLYMORE: "I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester."

ADE AKINBIYI: "I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing."

UGO EHIOGU: "I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier."

JONATHAN WOODGATE: "Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough."

STUART PEARCE: "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."

LEE HENDRIE: “I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right."

IAN RUSH: "I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."

STEVE LOMAS: "Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today."

BARRY VENISON: "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."

DAVID BECKHAM: "I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."

PHIL NEVILLE: "The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European."

MITCHELL THOMAS: "All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed."

ALAN SHEARER: "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."

JOHNNY GILES: “I would rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd."

GARY LINEKER: "He is a good player when he hasn't got the ball."

Brightened up my afternoon...

Snorri xxx

bastard!

i was holdin out for a nil replier.

would have ruined her weekend!!

The last one is quality!

J.A.K wrote: bastard!

i was holdin out for a nil replier.

would have ruined her weekend!!

Ha, it would!!!

nahh!!

Steve Lomas.

thick as irish pig shit.

out today......

David Beckham was fooled into bathing in Evian water on a trip to Russia — after he was told tap water would turn him bald. Fellow soccer stars Ryan Giggs and Gary and Phil Neville also fell for the wind-up.

And footie officials only realised the players had been taken in when they asked why they were getting through so much mineral water. The joke was played on Becks and his fellow Man Utd stars on a trip to Russia for a UEFA Cup tie against Rotor Volgograd in 1995.

Brian Kidd, then assistant manager, said the water was contaminated after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster and washing in it would make their hair drop out.

Ian Dunwoody, who organises Man Utd’s trips abroad, has just revealed the joke.

He said: "We took our own food and bottled water. When I asked about the amount of water being used they said it wasn’t for drinking but for washing. It cost thousands of pounds in water."

Missy Jem wrote: You've probably seen it before but it still makes me smile! MARK DRAPER: "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."

PETER SHILTON: "You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out."

LEE HENDRIE: “I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right."

IAN RUSH: "I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."

STEVE LOMAS: "Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today."

PHIL NEVILLE: "The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European."

Classic. Geography, locations and specifics not very strong points seems.