Message to Southerners.

Someone sent this to me -- quite enjoyable to read really! :D

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your automatic weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it's a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It's your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That's right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It's too easy, asshole, they're blue states. It's not your money, assholes, it's fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let's talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It's fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that's right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that's just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time.

Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

Credited to / posted by "BlackDahlia" on thenoiseboard.com, Nov 6 2004

This one is quite interesting!!!

Link: http://www.canada.com/news/national/story.html?id=1b022644-e8f8-44c9-8cae-c90678858708

Immigration web site flooded with queries from U.S. anti-Bush visitors

Alexander Panetta Canadian Press

November 5, 2004

OTTAWA (CP) - Canada's immigration website is being flooded with a record-smashing number of visits from U.S. Democrats dismayed by the prospect of four more years living under President George W. Bush.

His re-election has some long-faced U.S. liberals apparently musing that perhaps Canada's cold winters, high taxes and strained health system are more easily endured than their commander-in-chief. A new record was set within hours of Bush's acceptance speech as six times more Americans than usual surfed the site Wednesday. The overall number of 179,000 visitors was almost twice the previous one-day record set last year and a whopping 64 per cent of visitors - 115,016 - were from the United States.

Many were doing more than just casual surfing, a spokeswoman for Citizenship and Immigration suggested Thursday.

"The most-visited pages . . . were the skilled worker online self-assessment pages (to check if) they'd meet the selection criteria," said Maria Iadinardi.

But there's no proof of an influx of Americans seeking asylum from their politics: "Applying and intent are two different things. We're only going to see this about six months from now," she said.

Americans moving to Canada must deal with the same rules as other immigrants - including the $500 application fee, the $975 landing tax, and the six-to 12-month wait.

The waiting time is shorter if you're married to a Canadian, for which help is available at www.marryanamerican.ca, a Canadian satirical site also being inundated by visitors.

A quick Internet Google search under the terms, "move to Canada' + Bush" turns up more than 8,000 web pages - including chat groups and at least one opinion poll asking frustrated liberals whether they'd consider fleeing.

About 60 per cent replied 'Yes' to leaving in the tongue-in-cheek poll of more than 1,000 on CBS's Chicago affiliate web site.

One American who lives in Brooklyn says many people in the U.S. now feel they identify more with Canada than their own country in the wake of the election.

"I'm not alone," said Chris Walsh, a native of New Hampshire married to a Canadian.

"The first thing people said to me when I went to walk my dog in the park this morning was: 'We're moving to Canada.' People are very disillusioned, and Canada is looking pretty good right now."

A mock map of North America circulated on the Internet illustrated an expanded Canada. The lingering rump of pro-Democrat states - namely the Great Lakes area, and the east and west coasts - would be carved into a larger new country called the United States of Canada.

The rest of the continent was left alone in a new entity named, "Jesusland."

A gleeful Republican posted this response to suggestions of a liberal exodus: "Enjoy the Molson's while you wait an eternity for an imported doctor making the equivalent of minimum wage."