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TALK NEW YEAR BOLLOCKS

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speaking of shite, i just went to the loo.

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now i recharging the battery for the smoke alarm. non-stop excitement here.

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bollocks my daily posting count keeps going down. as soon as i hit like 41 i go back to 35 or 31. must my timezone.

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Boatraceface wrote: Can we keep this clean?ther'es no call for Jizzstream lyrics...

If you don't try, how will you know?

Anyway; why do pigs go 'oink' and cats go 'meow'; can't they try some other sounds or maybe part exchange with one another...

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speaking of washing machines , my missus got ketchup on the bed sheets the other day. I then got ribena on the same bedsheet.

And she said my spill has ruined the sheets! Surely ketchup is far worse.......it was ribena light

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:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :baby: :baby: :baby: :baby: :baby: :baby: :baby: :baby: :baby: :evil4: :evil4: :evil4: :evil4: :evil4: :evil4: :evil4: :evil4: :evil4: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :nonono: :skeptic: :skeptic: :skeptic: :skeptic: :skeptic: :skeptic: :skeptic: :skeptic: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :computer2::computer2::computer2::computer2::conscience::conscience::conscience::conscience::conscience:

:feedback:

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Royser wrote: speaking of washing machines , my missus got ketchup on the bed sheets the other day. I then got ribena on the same bedsheet.

And she said my spill has ruined the sheets! Surely ketchup is far worse.......it was ribena light

put on a bit of fabric cleaner on your sheets. that should do the trick. i won't even ask how that stuff got into your sheets. ah well your lubrication is your secret.

what's happening here men discussing laundry. how snagy ( is that a new word)

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New Order are an Outer Mongolian pop group with the same manager as the Cheeky Girls. The lead singer Bernard is a tranny. Hooky plays the drums in his favourite treacle pants. Steven eats figs on a Tuesday. And did you know that Gillian adopted them in the 19th Century?

Eeeee i love talking bollocks me i do!

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Man Yoo shouldn't have let Liam Miller go to Leeds.

Bollocks to that!!! better off leaving him there. and send Duncan Fletcher and Timmy Howard there as well.

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London is simultaneously a treasured diamond and a stinking pile of rotting maggot infested turd.

:nod:

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Is turd word of the month or what? Disgraceful, really.

Turd turd turd turd turd turd turd turd turd turd turd (well if you can't beat 'em join 'em)

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I just bought a handy device for my TV. I tapes all the programs I dont want to watch, then plays them back when I'm not in, so I never need to watch crap again. Brilliant! Only cost me £300

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Barney Army wrote: I just bought a handy device for my TV. I tapes all the programs I dont want to watch, then plays them back when I'm not in, so I never need to watch crap again. Brilliant! Only cost me £300

ive never heard such a load of bollocks well done :thumb:

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Barney Army wrote: I just bought a handy device for my TV. I tapes all the programs I dont want to watch, then plays them back when I'm not in, so I never need to watch crap again. Brilliant! Only cost me £300

I just let SHUGZV,DON and DIGGY do that for me!:laugh:

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digital mike binoche wrote: Just refer to us as the Holy Trinity in futue Mick

More like ST TRINIANS!:D

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Absence makes the heart grow wider.

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Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time

For ya'll have knocked her up again

I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe

And I was not offended

For I knew I had to rise above it all

Or drown in my own shit

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Improve your life, and confuse annoying people, use stupid made up words like... nosebeast wrinklepost flebnor trilnork agglepleb rupnarglesack warbab stegron (OK, nicked from Dr Who) many of these work best if uttered as a sort of gutterl primal scream.

You get points if you can get "normal people" to say them as if they are real words, I had my boss saying "the system's gone stegron again" without a flinch.

OK, this post works on 2 levels you see, cos I AM talking bollox, but it's an instructuional on HOW to talk bollox.

what a clever little bollox talker I am.

Do try it tho, please, the world needs more insanity.

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tablets Ste. TAAAAABBBLETTTTTTS!!! don't forget to take em

:bow: to me

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I am WORKING OVERTIME on SATURDAY.Sadly this is not a LIE but it is BOLLOCKS.Whatever happened to the DHSS?:scratch:

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just sing the song by XTC. one,two,three,four,five rockets working oooooooo-vertime :evil4:

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digital mike binoche wrote: Steve, I have to agree that is BOLLOCKS :abovelol:

Perhaps, but if you try it and it works, you'll feel really good about yourself. And make people mental, it's a win win situation.

just pick a word you made up, or hey, ask me, i have a billion of them, mainly coined as expletives when Fuck would no longer do, while engaged in a long period of adiction to the game "worms". the word must sound like it means what you use it for, it's easy to tell, there are sound psychological reaons for things like linguistic assonance.

A fiver says you can get anyone, who already thinks you're a bit mad, to be saying things like "my car went stegron this morning" in a week.

FFS man, we have the local Mormons convinced ther's a cult round here.... Three people have delivered the same precise statement to various harassing Mormons, on several occasions, 3 or 4 more people have managed to adlib a variation cos they didn't revise it properly.

the scene...you're happily mindind your own business, and as if by magic, two mormons appear, in standard issue anoraks (to keep the nice suits dry) and backpacks, sometimes with bicycles. "Good $TIME_OF_DAY sirs, might we talk to you for a moment" learn this, learn it well my friends, because if people all over the world start saying this to them they'll go nuts and leave us alone. "I'm sorry mate, but before you got any further, I feel I should tell you that I completely and wholeheartedly believe in a giant worm called "Nosebeast" who orbits the earth and defends it from all harm. Therefor, your relgion, as all others, is meaningless to me. I bid you good day friend".

You can be 50 yards down the road before they so much as twitch such is the mental overload.

i bear them no ill will of course, but if they want to play the converting game, and they started it, i'm gonna get my shot in first.

please help me on this.

All the above is true, regardless of it also being bollox, I'm one of the few people who can be said to live what's called a bollox life.

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