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What will you do if your personal life, job and all would go wrong ?
I'm suppose to change a lot of things in my life… but I don't know where to start !
I'm getting tired about priorities… what is the most important things for you (well, I DON'T mean New Order)… what are you're "values"
Last summer, a frw things went pear shaped for me, but I realised:
Money is not our God.
Have friends, family and you are richer than Bill Gates.
Well, that's the way I look at it.
I've got a few friends and some members of my family are close from me… but I'm just getting nowhere and have to make a change of mind.
karine wrote: I've got a few friends and some members of my family are close from me… but I'm just getting nowhere and have to make a change of mind.
The important thing is to come to an understanding with yourself.
Revolution comes from within.
Charity begins at home.
karine wrote: What will you do if your personal life, job and all would go wrong ?
I'm suppose to change a lot of things in my life… but I don't know where to start !
I'm getting tired about priorities… what is the most important things for you (well, I DON'T mean New Order)… what are you're "values"
I don't think I'd cope if everything went tits up. My life goes half-wrong fairly regularly and it knocks me out of balance badly, but never (yet) beyond the point where I rock back upright. Did they have weebles in France? little toy, big weight in the bottom, always righted themselves "weebles wobble but they don't fall down". That's me...but only because I've not yet been knocked over and sent spinning....when the G- force keeps even a weeble down :D I hope that the laws of averages and general statistics feel sorry for me and spare me REALLy awful upsets on account of constant small-medium ones. Thus far this appears to be the case....of course that could mean the universe is saving a REALLY big one for me :D
More seriously tho, I don;t cope well with change for the worse, I have a much to active mind and problems beyond my ability to solve devastate my ability to function.....it's like "the heart of gold" in the hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy not being able to avoid the missiles because it's really busy thinking about how to make the perfect cup of tea. In the end, it turns out to be a vicious circle or resonance phenomenon, break the cycles of thinking everything's bad, and evetually you stop returning to it as a subject of thought. Like Chris said, Friends are bloody useful.
i also find the sea very good for flushing me brain out and enabling me to get a hold of things again.
Whatever is up, you like the best band in the world for flushing the brain of hurt and confusion (no pun intended) :D
And as for what's important to me...... being content, which I pretty much am, being secure in the long term, which I aint, and trying, against all the darker angels of my nature, to be a good guy, and try and keep my love/hate and give/take accounts both in the green :D
you're wright but I'm supposed to get a "new" start, and I've done this a lot of times before and I'm almost 33…
I'd like to success for once !
When did you feel right with yourself ?
karine wrote: I've got a few friends and some members of my family are close from me… but I'm just getting nowhere and have to make a change of mind.
there is no recipe karine,but the first step is shown by chris,his damn right
karine wrote: you're wright but I'm supposed to get a "new" start, and I've done this a lot of times before and I'm almost 33…
thats fookin great, I started my new life when I was 32 and Iam still working to keep it in one piece. cest la vie
karine wrote: you're wright but I'm supposed to get a "new" start, and I've done this a lot of times before and I'm almost 33…
I'd like to success for once !
When did you feel right with yourself ?
When I realised I had accidentally achieved many of the things I wanted, and also that most of the ones I hadn'tachieved wee porbably not as much fun as I thought.
An example....I've played a few gigs, I've made a few records, and I've made some tunes the I at least love. When I was younger I thought I wanted to be the famous musician type, now I think I would have hated it.
Don't get me wrong tho, there's plenty I still WANT, just that what I HAVE seems OK to be getting on with. To follow on from the above example, I'd like to get a job back in sound or music, rather than a bleedin call centre, but not back to what i was doing before, which was too random and far too hard to get paid for (doing gigs and recordings primarily for mates and being a "nice guy" didn't help either)
Some of my friends just tried to do their best… The situation for "young peoples" here is not easy… it takes years to have some perspectives of employment. And when you've got a real job, it's the beginning of troubles…
:D
I'd just wish I know what you'll put under anything.
love
friendship
work
the rest
I sometimes wonder what catastropohe the universe will one day wreak on me.ain't got a clue what i'll do when it does.i think it would be handy to have a packet of cigarettes and a chair at hand though
Friends are very important
Steve Campbell wrote:
When I realised I had accidentally achieved many of the things I wanted, and also that most of the ones I hadn'tachieved wee porbably not as much fun as I thought.
An example....I've played a few gigs, I've made a few records, and I've made some tunes the I at least love. When I was younger I thought I wanted to be the famous musician type, now I think I would have hated it.
Don't get me wrong tho, there's plenty I still WANT, just that what I HAVE seems OK to be getting on with. To follow on from the above example, I'd like to get a job back in sound or music, rather than a bleedin call centre, but not back to what i was doing before, which was too random and far too hard to get paid for (doing gigs and recordings primarily for mates and being a "nice guy" didn't help either)
Well, I haven't done half of the things I want to… I've been a "nice girl" for many peoples and I think they don't know how much things I know or done in my life.
What would be the first things you would change in your life if you had no choice or no reason to "stand by" ?
karine wrote:
love
friendship
work
the rest
karine wrote: What would be the first things you would change in your life if you had no choice or no reason to "stand by" ?
the country of my residence !!
Johnny wrote: I sometimes wonder what catastropohe the universe will one day wreak on me.ain't got a clue what i'll do when it does.i think it would be handy to have a packet of cigarettes and a chair at hand though
Friends are very important
Thanks for this answer…
I'm always wandering why I'm getting sad when hearing the "news"
usefull for killing the radio at first good resolution !!!
You're most likely thinking that it's easy for us to sit here and type 'BE POSITIVE' over and over again. You'd be right, but it is true.
Last year, an uncle I was close to died (and his wife + children made a spectacular mess of the proceedings which hurt us even more), I got fired form my job for a stupid remark that someone took seriously, and someone I thought I loved broke my heart.
At this point, I was well and truly down, but it did me the world of good. I got to know myself, realised that money is just paper and metal and had some great times.
The most important moment was when a friend who I hadn't seen for years got back in contact with me. He'd left our school in 4th year because he was starting fights with a lot of people. I found out that he could have had full blown schizophrenia if he'd been left untreated for another year.
It was depressing to see him at first. Due to medication and his fears, he has become very child like in his mannerisms and is extrememly naieve. But he made me realise that there are people worse off than me, so I'd better make the most of it. That was nine months ago, and he's started coming out for nights out in the town, which he would never have contemplated even four months ago.
Another changing point was when I was searching for a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald for a joke. I typed his name in on Google, and there was a picture of the 1981 exhumtion. It was a picture of his head. As you can imagine, it wasn't in the best of conditions.
It horrified me, but it made me realise one thing: when the body goes, that's it. No more.
That filled me with a lust for life. It put everything in perspective for me. You've got to cram so much into your life, so you can say you've lived.
Long and rambling post, but my message is simply: when the body goes, that's it. No more. So do something.
NObabe wrote:
karine wrote: What would be the first things you would change in your life if you had no choice or no reason to "stand by" ?
the country of my residence !!
good one !
But where will you go then ?
Well i would like a bit of money just to get a few things straight.Not necessarily a million on the lottery though,because i think i would go insane.
karine wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote:
When I realised I had accidentally achieved many of the things I wanted, and also that most of the ones I hadn'tachieved wee porbably not as much fun as I thought.
An example....I've played a few gigs, I've made a few records, and I've made some tunes the I at least love. When I was younger I thought I wanted to be the famous musician type, now I think I would have hated it.
Don't get me wrong tho, there's plenty I still WANT, just that what I HAVE seems OK to be getting on with. To follow on from the above example, I'd like to get a job back in sound or music, rather than a bleedin call centre, but not back to what i was doing before, which was too random and far too hard to get paid for (doing gigs and recordings primarily for mates and being a "nice guy" didn't help either)
Well, I haven't done half of the things I want to… I've been a "nice girl" for many peoples and I think they don't know how much things I know or done in my life.
What would be the first things you would change in your life if you had no choice or no reason to "stand by" ?
I honestly don't know, there are all sorts of little things, or rather all sorts of big things, but none of them seems important. Probably a place in the country with a studio and a pretty girl :D But something in myself?...my foul temper, that I could do without as well as my taking things FAR too personally. The question I ask myself is....."If I were to die tomorrow, how hard done by would I feel about it".
FWIW, I too am terrified of the news, the world is far too full of hateful stupid people, and they threaten all of us. I worry about our race, worry that it's too soon to blow ourselves up, nothing of us has gone to the stars, if we destory ourselves, that's IT, we're finished and every single human life will have been a total waste. Nature wont give a shit tho, she'll be right back with cockroaches or rats or something in no time.
Christopher Owens wrote: You're most likely thinking that it's easy for us to sit here and type 'BE POSITIVE' over and over again. You'd be right, but it is true.
Last year, an uncle I was close to died (and his wife + children made a spectacular mess of the proceedings which hurt us even more), I got fired form my job for a stupid remark that someone took seriously, and someone I thought I loved broke my heart.
At this point, I was well and truly down, but it did me the world of good. I got to know myself, realised that money is just paper and metal and had some great times.
The most important moment was when a friend who I hadn't seen for years got back in contact with me. He'd left our school in 4th year because he was starting fights with a lot of people. I found out that he could have had full blown schizophrenia if he'd been left untreated for another year.
It was depressing to see him at first. Due to medication and his fears, he has become very child like in his mannerisms and is extrememly naieve. But he made me realise that there are people worse off than me, so I'd better make the most of it. That was nine months ago, and he's started coming out for nights out in the town, which he would never have contemplated even four months ago.
Another changing point was when I was searching for a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald for a joke. I typed his name in on Google, and there was a picture of the 1981 exhumtion. It was a picture of his head. As you can imagine, it wasn't in the best of conditions.
It horrified me, but it made me realise one thing: when the body goes, that's it. No more.
That filled me with a lust for life. It put everything in perspective for me. You've got to cram so much into your life, so you can say you've lived.
Long and rambling post, but my message is simply: when the body goes, that's it. No more. So do something.
Well, I know about the body :it hurst me a lot, because I've started dancing when I was 6, but I know I'm alive
I'm not especially depressed but I'd like to know what you've done to get things better in your own life… it's seems like you think about each other and how you're "lucky" if considering some others ?
Johnny wrote: Well i would like a bit of money just to get a few things straight.Not necessarily a million on the lottery though,because i think i would go insane.
Considering what I could do with a million, I wouldn't get insane… (and I don't care for money)
just be realistic and try to look at everything objectively, and try to be honest with yourself and others... people let their subjective viewpoint rule their lives, warp their expectations. at least you jhave some friends, many people never even experience normal social and intimate interaction
personally i don't understand what is so great about life, it is so overated, and why it is so damn important to try to live forever... sometimes you have to admit that there is little value to your life and if you were a business either find a way to continue on or shut the doors for good
I dunno about winning a milion
.It would be ok for a few years.But i wouldn't want to work again. All your friends would be still at work though.So you've got all that money but you're just doing things on your own the whole time.And that is crap
karine wrote:
I'm not especially depressed but I'd like to know what you've done to get things better in your own life… it's seems like you think about each other and how you're "lucky" if considering some others ?
That's true, there's always some poor sod with less, and with a harder life. there were times in the last few months when my entire family was finding it hard to even get essentials like bread....and it was my fault for being ill, ot good.....yet I still kept in mind other people were in worse states day in and day out.
I used to be a perpetually tortured soul, and in the end the only thing that stopped me, was me deciding not to do it any more. Odd tho it sounds, all it took was me convincing myself that it was not my duty to frett myself half to death over most of the things that worried me half to death.
pumped full of drugs wrote: just be realistic and try to look at everything objectively, and try to be honest with yourself and others... people let their subjective viewpoint rule their lives, warp their expectations. at least you jhave some friends, many people never even experience normal social and intimate interaction
personally i don't understand what is so great about life, it is so overated, and why it is so damn important to try to live forever... sometimes you have to admit that there is little value to your life and if you were a business either find a way to continue on or shut the doors for good
Thanks a lot !
I think I'm too old to make a teenage suicide… :D
karine wrote:
I'm not especially depressed but I'd like to know what you've done to get things better in your own life… it's seems like you think about each other and how you're "lucky" if considering some others ?
With regards to my friend:
his mother was married previously. That ended in divorce, and a child they had died a week after being born.
she remarried, but the da died in a car crash before my friend was born.
he was bullied relentlessly in school
gradually, he snapped.
I was bullied in school as well, but I saw it as a case of 'not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you can get up.' My friend didn't see it like that. All of the above ate away at him. He attempted suicide, and ended up in a hospital for three years.
Today he has an extreme fear of the number 18. He can link bad incidents in his life to that number (e.g. baby dying on the 18th, being brough into hospital etc) That fear holds him back from doing things he has always wanted to do.
I am eternally grateful that this has never happened to me. Certainly I could have went down a similar path to him re. bullying, but I always had books, movies, music and my own writings to carry me up. As I gre older, I began to wander to places like the River Lagan in Belfast. By looking at the docks, it would make me aware that there's more to life than Belfast. That thought, more than anything, has kept me going through thick and thin.
With regards to what I have done to get things better in my own life, I just had to discover myself (as hippyish as that sounds). As I have said, revolution comes from within. You cannot make changes, unless you understand yourself. Everyone has their own little things they like to do. With me, I simply wander to the other side of Belfast, into Botanic Gardens and the like with a book, my CD player and a pen and paper if I want to write something. With these, I could find peace of mind, and long walks allow me to clear my head, and since I'm on the other side of the city, there's a nice feeling when it's just you on your own. Opens up for some introspection.
That's what works for me personally.
I hope this helps.
Johnny wrote: I dunno about winning a milion
:D
Noooooooooo !!!
i have no idea where to start. i am a victim of circumstances. for the past three years i have been saynig that things can only get better, yet circumstances have a habit of proving me wrong(one of the reasons i don't make new year's resolutions). my latest worries are about my job and about my health. not too worry i'll live. in regards to my health it is probably nothing. re my job, well if i don't work in my current job, then i should be able to find a place somewhere in the department. i am also still continuing my seeimingly never ending quest to find that special someone.
i know i should look on the bright side. i terms of material posessions have have what most people work a life time to achieve.
all we can do is carry on eventually things will have to get better. always look on the bright side of life.
Christopher Owens wrote:
With regards to what I have done to get things better in my own life, I just had to discover myself (as hippyish as that sounds). As I have said, revolution comes from within. You cannot make changes, unless you understand yourself. Everyone has their own little things they like to do. With me, I simply wander to the other side of Belfast, into Botanic Gardens and the like with a book, my CD player and a pen and paper if I want to write something. With these, I could find peace of mind, and long walks allow me to clear my head, and since I'm on the other side of the city, there's a nice feeling when it's just you on your own. Opens up for some introspection.
That's what works for me personally.
I hope this helps.
I'm a little bit hippyish myself (due to my education)… thank you for the answer (simple and honest)
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
i know i should look on the bright side. i terms of material posessions have have what most people work a life time to achieve.
all we can do is carry on eventually things will have to get better. always look on the bright side of life.
I agreed but action is better than hope, don't you think so ? What would you do to make a change ?
Everything ALWAYS goes wrong.It is meant to be.
Lost in Music.....CHORLEY DON'T COPE.
I could write a book on being MISERABLE.But for your sake i won't!
Wish i could help but the only person who can is YOURSELF.
karine wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
i know i should look on the bright side. i terms of material posessions have have what most people work a life time to achieve.
all we can do is carry on eventually things will have to get better. always look on the bright side of life.
I agreed but action is better than hope, don't you think so ? What would you do to make a change ?
i have had way too much change in my life lately. at the moment i am just struggleing trying to lead my life. i was thinking of taking an overseas trip soon, but that may have to be postponed, due to my my health, well it probably is nothing. when you ae feeling crap things aren't easy, and you may do things that you regret later. all you can hope for is that people understand.
action there are so many options. go back to uni, move overseas.
the really fustrating thing at the moment is that i should be able to have the time of my life right now. i know my mother would have wanted me to. i am not exactly poor, and i have almost zero responsibilities, other than turning up to my job and paying my taxes.
This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...
Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.
So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.
I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man 
I love living out here and I really can't imagine moving back to the UK.
I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!
Good luck with whatever you choose to do!
Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D
Alpine Angel wrote: This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...
Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.
So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.
I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man
I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!
Good luck with whatever you choose to do!
Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D
That is fantastic to hear. It proves that when you hit rock bottom, if you reevaluate your life, you can take on anything.
Christopher Owens wrote:
Alpine Angel wrote: This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...
Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.
So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.
I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man
I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!
Good luck with whatever you choose to do!
Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D
That is fantastic to hear. It proves that when you hit rock bottom, if you reevaluate your life, you can take on anything.
Cheers Christopher
Karine, you have to BELIEVE in yourself...
YOU CAN DO IT 
Wise words from Samantha.
Another thing I keep in mind is heroes of mine who've inspired me to write and better myself.
For example, Killing Joke are a band I got into whenever the events I described started to happen. Their music picked me up, and when I read old articles on them, I could read about all of the shit that they had to go through in order to become a hugely influential band, e.g journalists, record companies, yourself etc. Yet they celebrated their 25th anniversary last year, and the performance I saw in Liverpool was more than a gig, it was similar to an exorcism, due to the frustrations I had at the time.
My writings are hugely influenced by Killing Joke, JD and NO, so take what you love about your life and make something beautiful out of it.
And a dark, sick sense of humour helps as well. Gives you less wrinkles.
Most important things to me are:
being a helping hand to loved ones having a laugh daily hot baths and hot coffee taking care of my garden/pets
Everything else is just filler. Don't care what kind of money I make, because I'm always possessed of the notion that when and if I need it I'll always be able to help or be helped. If I get into a rut, I have a list at the ready to go over and see what I can do to improve my situation.
When all else fails and I've hit rock bottom (once or twice) I have a good cry, call or write a friend/acquaintance and get their perspective on how to change things.
The most important thing to remember is to relax. :) If there's a cacheload of stuff you need to change, take it easy and in increments. Nothing gets taken care of overnight. No matter what anyone says, you'll always have time.
(Am I too positive? )
|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: Where should I start?
From the very beginning.
A very good place to start.
When you read, you begin with A,B,C
When you sing, you begin with Do, Re, Mi
melly wrote: Most important things to me are:
being a helping hand to loved ones having a laugh daily hot baths and hot coffee taking care of my garden/pets
Everything else is just filler. Don't care what kind of money I make, because I'm always possessed of the notion that when and if I need it I'll always be able to help or be helped. If I get into a rut, I have a list at the ready to go over and see what I can do to improve my situation.
When all else fails and I've hit rock bottom (once or twice) I have a good cry, call or write a friend/acquaintance and get their perspective on how to change things.
The most important thing to remember is to relax. :) If there's a cacheload of stuff you need to change, take it easy and in increments. Nothing gets taken care of overnight. No matter what anyone says, you'll always have time.
(Am I too positive?
you'll never be too much positive for me !
thanks…
Christopher Owens wrote:
|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: Where should I start?
From the very beginning.
A very good place to start.
When you read, you begin with A,B,C
When you sing, you begin with Do, Re, Mi
Ok ok... very funny... 
I'm trying to help Karine... and myself :)
I agree with one particular point Christopher mentioned when he said that the Killing Joke gig was like a kind of exorcism.I've got that many a time at New Order gigs.Or even at a Rave in a forest in Kent! Like a shedding of all that bad feelings and shit that had built up over a period of time.
I always say that quitting a job and travelling abroad is one of the best things you can do.I quit a job, back when i was 25, and went backpacking with a mate round half the middle east.And one of the best things about it was giving a big finger to all the people who said i'd never do it.They just took it for granted that i was going to settle for staying in that job.
Alpine Angel wrote: This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...
Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.
So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.
I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man
I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!
Good luck with whatever you choose to do!
Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D
Well, I don't know if I want to get away from France, but they're not much perspectives here !
I've been disappointed a lot with my job (five years in the same place :dead: ) and men in general (my last long term boy friend was so selfish that I finally left)…
So now I'm back to the beginning, and I don't want to get wrong again.
as the bumper sticker says "when all esle fails, hug your teddy." one of my own then get in touch with a friend.
|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:
Ok ok... very funny...
That's great to hear, but remember: humour is also important. Otherwise you'd never get anywhere.
Johnny wrote:
I always say that quitting a job and travelling abroad is one of the best things you can do.I quit a job, back when i was 25, and went backpacking with a mate round half the middle east.And one of the best things about it was giving a big finger to all the people who said i'd never do it.They just took it for granted that i was going to settle for staying in that job.
And you still stick to principles like those today. Do you think you're a much better person now, then what you would have been if you had stayed in the job?
karine wrote:
Well, I don't know if I want to get away from France, but they're not much perspectives here !
I've been disappointed a lot with my job (five years in the same place :dead: ) and men in general (my last long term boy friend was so selfish that I finally left)…
So now I'm back to the beginning, and I don't want to get wrong again.
It's times like these where you have to take stock of things. Another uncle of mine was stuck in a dead end job in Belfast at the end of the 70's. After getting fed up, he and a few of his mates moved over to England. My uncle is now an I.T consultant. Yet he's still the same type of person he was in 1979.
Ronald Kirsch wrote: as the bumper sticker says "when all esle fails, hug your teddy."
I never got one.:(
Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.
i have a bass and a dog.
Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.
Not a bad idea
Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.
And have a good night sleep then
I don't know if there are any "values" for me. My parents brought me up in a very idealess way. There are things that I like at this moment and things I don't like. Everything may change due to my mood and situation. I don't have an anchor therefore to hold when the things go wrong. 
I think I appr
Karine, really nevermind. Grab a bottle of beer and call a friend. Tomorrow will bring you what it's supposed to bring.
I just think that we've got to face some bad situations sometimes… I was just wondering how you'll managed with them…
I'm not particularly good in dealing with troubles… most of the time I prefer to retired and just think, but it doesn't work all the time.
karine wrote: I just think that we've got to face some bad situations sometimes… I was just wondering how you'll managed with them…
I'm not particularly good in dealing with troubles… most of the time I prefer to retired and just think, but it doesn't work all the time.
Bad situations... Now I'm thinking... if I've ever had them. Looks like I didn't sail the sea of trouble. (Knocking on the wood) That's pretty odd.
|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:
Grab a bottle of beer and call a friend
If only I could call someone at this time of night…
o.k, I'll go to bed and sleep instead !
*thanks for the help*
karine wrote:
Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.
And have a good night sleep then
a good night's sleep is vital to well being and highly recommended. you only appreciate the imortance of it when can't have one. thankfully i at least can do that again. hey i may be slowly getting over this grief thing.
karine wrote: If only I could call someone at this time of night…
That's why it's great to have friends 12 hours away... who are awake while you're asleep :)
[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote:
karine wrote: If only I could call someone at this time of night…
That's why it's great to have friends 12 hours away... who are awake while you're asleep :)
Hmm, how did I know I'd be responding to this thread? 
I guess I've said a lot about it in the past, but my main issue in life is that I can't seem to get into a decent, healthy relationship with a woman. Not that I'm incapable of this (I tell myself), but that for reasons that stem back to my early adolesence I've just never had the confidence to go out on a limb and put myself out there (except on a few occasions, which always ended with more awkwardness between me and the lady I cared for than anything romantic). 
What keeps me going and from giving up completely is the belief that there has to be someone for me. Or someone willing to put up with me. I'd hate to end up with someone who settled for me (that's my one condition, I guess).
Of late, this belief has been tested by my current situation: I started working at a new store in August, during the first few weeks of which I met the woman who currently has dibs on my heart. We hit it off immediately, then I heard through the grapevine that she had a boyfriend of several years that no one I talked to believed would break up with anytime soon (word of warning: it's never a good idea to ask co-workers about your chances with someone. For some reason they never think so). So I'd take pleasure in the little moments we'd have together at work, and try to hang around so maybe she'd see more in me than most women seem to have seen during my previous twenty-six years on this planet.
So when she told me she'd broken up with said boyfriend a week before Christmas, I felt great. Then she started going on about some new guy she was already dating. Cue the banghead smilie
And then there was yesterday and my aforementioned hasty exit from the 1,000th time I've had to hear someone I care about bitch about some guy who treats her like a doormat emotionally while I'm sitting there.
Why don't I give up on her? Possibly because I'm stupid; possibly because up until I started college, work was the only place I met women; possibly because I have a rare disease that forces me to be attracted to unavailable women. Or it's possibly because I figure we'd be good together if I could just get off my ass and tell her any of this.
My point is, and I realize it's a cliche, but "don't give up" works for just about any circumstances. I don't mean "don't give up drugs" or "don't give up riding in the car with your torso out the window" or some sort of activity that could be dangerous and illegal, but don't give up on life. Sure, it's shit sometimes. But it's the shit times that make you appreciate the little moments when everything is right with the world, when a girl with the prettiest blue eyes you've ever seen and the nicest "no teeth showing" smile seems to think you've just said or done something funny and laughs because of it. Because you got to have something to help you get through the day.
That's my two cents, anyway
karine wrote:
[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote:
karine wrote: If only I could call someone at this time of night…
That's why it's great to have friends 12 hours away... who are awake while you're asleep :)
that's what we are here for. most of us are a careing shareing bunch, and have gone through a lot of crap ourselves. time is a great healer, as of last week i didn't believe it, but it seems that things are slowly getting better down here on planet kirsch. hell it has only been like four months of shit. things will and do get better. they just have to. trust me on this.
Rocket Mick wrote: Planet KIRSCH-may the force be with you!
thanks rocket. i think i hit rock bottom about a week ago. no doub't there'll be a few more ups and downs to come.
*I was following the first rule : have a good night sleep*
The force and woody (nice avatar Taboo) are with everyone of us…
karine wrote: *I was following the first rule : have a good night sleep*
The force and woody (nice avatar Taboo) are with everyone of us…
good to hear you had a good sleep.
i wish tabsy would get rid of that avatar. it is a truely awful picture of mr allen.
karine wrote: *I was following the first rule : have a good night sleep*
The force and woody (nice avatar Taboo) are with everyone of us…
Eh... good sleep? I hoped you would have one... but 6 hours is definetely is not my kind of good sleep. Glad you're back though. It's about time to take tough decisions, Karine ;)
[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote:
karine wrote: *I was following the first rule : have a good night sleep*
The force and woody (nice avatar Taboo) are with everyone of us…
Eh... good sleep?
i'd say give it another two or three good sleeps before you make any decisions.
Ronald Kirsch wrote:
[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote:
karine wrote: *I was following the first rule : have a good night sleep*
The force and woody (nice avatar Taboo) are with everyone of us…
Eh... good sleep?
i'd say give it another two or three good sleeps before you make any decisions.
delay, always delay…
hem, considering I've been for a few month running with the idea the moment wasn't "right" to make a change…
I think I'll have to DO something, before getting bored.
I'm sorry if anyone actually believed that I felt bad… it's just my life that doesn't make any sense for the moment (it's happened before, you know).
They're so much things to do, I just don't know where to start and wanted some advices about your own experiences of "disaster"
Thanks for all, it helps.
Christopher Owens wrote:
Johnny wrote:
I always say that quitting a job and travelling abroad is one of the best things you can do.I quit a job, back when i was 25, and went backpacking with a mate round half the middle east.And one of the best things about it was giving a big finger to all the people who said i'd never do it.They just took it for granted that i was going to settle for staying in that job.
And you still stick to principles like those today. Do you think you're a much better person now, then what you would have been if you had stayed in the job?
I'm a better person yeah,definitely.I think so anyway.Apart from the trip being a right good crack and a laugh i discovered quite a few things about myself.Some good and some bad.But discovering the bad things made be able to work on changing them.
I stil believe everyone should spend at least a year or two travelling.I'm not really in a position to do it now.But i had nothing to stay here for when i was 25 and i think anyone in that position should do the same.
But i think all this life evaluation is a January thing.It's just the time of year when we think like that.Once the year get's into rhythm life and things will start happening when you didn't expect or plan it.
Last year I realised that my life wasn't making much sense and that I had to do something about it. I had the feeling that both my personal life and my professional life had never been under my control and that I had gone through happenchance since as far as I remembered.
Then (happenchance again...) the company I work for signed me up to a training on "decision making". The leitmotif of the whole training was "let your objectives be your guide". Until then, I hadn't thought about my life under the objectives standpoint. I realised that many of my failures could be explained by a lack of proactiveness or by the fact that I didn't believe in my ability to make things change.
Since then, I've been trying to appropriate this leitmotiv and to concentrate my efforts on my personal objectives. And it works! I gained self-confidance, I fixed the biggest problems in my personal life and I gave my carreer a new start, just by taking the right actions without letting external disturbances (like the influence of my family or my colleagues) stop me. This may seem a very selfish philosophy but it actually isn't because it forces you to be more honnest and deeply involved in your friendship, family or professional relationships. Of course this change of attitude may hurt some people; probably those who (voluntarily or not) inhibited your self-fulfilment.
So, think about it: let your objectives be your guide.
