when everything's gone wrong…

Everything ALWAYS goes wrong.It is meant to be. Lost in Music.....CHORLEY DON'T COPE. I could write a book on being MISERABLE.But for your sake i won't! Wish i could help but the only person who can is YOURSELF.

karine wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote:

i know i should look on the bright side. i terms of material posessions have have what most people work a life time to achieve.

all we can do is carry on eventually things will have to get better. always look on the bright side of life.

I agreed but action is better than hope, don't you think so ? What would you do to make a change ?

i have had way too much change in my life lately. at the moment i am just struggleing trying to lead my life. i was thinking of taking an overseas trip soon, but that may have to be postponed, due to my my health, well it probably is nothing. when you ae feeling crap things aren't easy, and you may do things that you regret later. all you can hope for is that people understand.

action there are so many options. go back to uni, move overseas.

the really fustrating thing at the moment is that i should be able to have the time of my life right now. i know my mother would have wanted me to. i am not exactly poor, and i have almost zero responsibilities, other than turning up to my job and paying my taxes.

This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...

Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.

So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.

I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man I love living out here and I really can't imagine moving back to the UK.

I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D

Alpine Angel wrote: This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...

Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.

So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.

I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man I love living out here and I really can't imagine moving back to the UK.

I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D

That is fantastic to hear. It proves that when you hit rock bottom, if you reevaluate your life, you can take on anything.

Christopher Owens wrote:

Alpine Angel wrote: This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...

Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.

So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.

I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man I love living out here and I really can't imagine moving back to the UK.

I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D

That is fantastic to hear. It proves that when you hit rock bottom, if you reevaluate your life, you can take on anything.

Cheers Christopher

Karine, you have to BELIEVE in yourself...

YOU CAN DO IT

Wise words from Samantha.

Another thing I keep in mind is heroes of mine who've inspired me to write and better myself.

For example, Killing Joke are a band I got into whenever the events I described started to happen. Their music picked me up, and when I read old articles on them, I could read about all of the shit that they had to go through in order to become a hugely influential band, e.g journalists, record companies, yourself etc. Yet they celebrated their 25th anniversary last year, and the performance I saw in Liverpool was more than a gig, it was similar to an exorcism, due to the frustrations I had at the time.

My writings are hugely influenced by Killing Joke, JD and NO, so take what you love about your life and make something beautiful out of it.

And a dark, sick sense of humour helps as well. Gives you less wrinkles.

Most important things to me are:

being a helping hand to loved ones having a laugh daily hot baths and hot coffee taking care of my garden/pets

Everything else is just filler. Don't care what kind of money I make, because I'm always possessed of the notion that when and if I need it I'll always be able to help or be helped. If I get into a rut, I have a list at the ready to go over and see what I can do to improve my situation.

When all else fails and I've hit rock bottom (once or twice) I have a good cry, call or write a friend/acquaintance and get their perspective on how to change things.

The most important thing to remember is to relax. :) If there's a cacheload of stuff you need to change, take it easy and in increments. Nothing gets taken care of overnight. No matter what anyone says, you'll always have time.

(Am I too positive? )

Where should I start?

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: Where should I start?

From the very beginning.

A very good place to start.

When you read, you begin with A,B,C

When you sing, you begin with Do, Re, Mi

melly wrote: Most important things to me are:

being a helping hand to loved ones having a laugh daily hot baths and hot coffee taking care of my garden/pets

Everything else is just filler. Don't care what kind of money I make, because I'm always possessed of the notion that when and if I need it I'll always be able to help or be helped. If I get into a rut, I have a list at the ready to go over and see what I can do to improve my situation.

When all else fails and I've hit rock bottom (once or twice) I have a good cry, call or write a friend/acquaintance and get their perspective on how to change things.

The most important thing to remember is to relax. :) If there's a cacheload of stuff you need to change, take it easy and in increments. Nothing gets taken care of overnight. No matter what anyone says, you'll always have time.

(Am I too positive? )

you'll never be too much positive for me !

thanks…

Christopher Owens wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: Where should I start?

From the very beginning.

A very good place to start.

When you read, you begin with A,B,C

When you sing, you begin with Do, Re, Mi

Ok ok... very funny... I'm trying to help Karine... and myself :)

I agree with one particular point Christopher mentioned when he said that the Killing Joke gig was like a kind of exorcism.I've got that many a time at New Order gigs.Or even at a Rave in a forest in Kent! Like a shedding of all that bad feelings and shit that had built up over a period of time.

I always say that quitting a job and travelling abroad is one of the best things you can do.I quit a job, back when i was 25, and went backpacking with a mate round half the middle east.And one of the best things about it was giving a big finger to all the people who said i'd never do it.They just took it for granted that i was going to settle for staying in that job.

Alpine Angel wrote: This is a bit long, but it's from recent experience...

Over 12 months ago, I split from my long term boyfriend (we had been together for six years). The split meant I had to give up the house that we shared and a good job and move back into my parents house 50 miles away. To pay the bills, I ended up taking up a job in retail for very little money and few prospects. Last November, I became so depressed that it made me ill, both phyiscally and mentally, but it made me take a good, long look at my life, what state it was in and what I could do about it.

So I went back to college part-time to help to change my career and at the end of my course, I found myself applying for a three month contract to teach English in Switzerland. It took a lot of courage to apply, even though it was something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I had never had the courage to do anything about it before. It meant quitting the UK for three months and leaving friends and family behind. But I had to do it. For me. To prove to myself that I could do it.

I got the job and the three months teaching contract is now permanent, I am studying part-time to further my career and I've got a new man I love living out here and I really can't imagine moving back to the UK.

I'm not saying that you should quit France - but if you have any dreams or goals in life, then I suggest that you go for them. Up until now, my life had been full of regrets and missed chances and if I had listened to my friends and family, it still would be like that as I would still be in the dead end job, with no prospects. I'm glad that I made my decision. But you have to do these things for YOU and no-one else. It may mean ignoring advice of your family and friends but you have to go for what makes you happy!

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

Oh and I'm 36 later this year. It's not too late yet...:D

Well, I don't know if I want to get away from France, but they're not much perspectives here !

I've been disappointed a lot with my job (five years in the same place :dead: ) and men in general (my last long term boy friend was so selfish that I finally left)…

So now I'm back to the beginning, and I don't want to get wrong again.

as the bumper sticker says "when all esle fails, hug your teddy." one of my own then get in touch with a friend.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Ok ok... very funny... I'm trying to help Karine... and myself :)

That's great to hear, but remember: humour is also important. Otherwise you'd never get anywhere.

Johnny wrote:

I always say that quitting a job and travelling abroad is one of the best things you can do.I quit a job, back when i was 25, and went backpacking with a mate round half the middle east.And one of the best things about it was giving a big finger to all the people who said i'd never do it.They just took it for granted that i was going to settle for staying in that job.

And you still stick to principles like those today. Do you think you're a much better person now, then what you would have been if you had stayed in the job?

karine wrote:

Well, I don't know if I want to get away from France, but they're not much perspectives here !

I've been disappointed a lot with my job (five years in the same place :dead: ) and men in general (my last long term boy friend was so selfish that I finally left)…

So now I'm back to the beginning, and I don't want to get wrong again.

It's times like these where you have to take stock of things. Another uncle of mine was stuck in a dead end job in Belfast at the end of the 70's. After getting fed up, he and a few of his mates moved over to England. My uncle is now an I.T consultant. Yet he's still the same type of person he was in 1979.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: as the bumper sticker says "when all esle fails, hug your teddy."

I never got one.:(

anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.

i have a bass and a dog.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.

Not a bad idea

Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.

And have a good night sleep then

I don't know if there are any "values" for me. My parents brought me up in a very idealess way. There are things that I like at this moment and things I don't like. Everything may change due to my mood and situation. I don't have an anchor therefore to hold when the things go wrong.

I think I appr

Karine, really nevermind. Grab a bottle of beer and call a friend. Tomorrow will bring you what it's supposed to bring.

I just think that we've got to face some bad situations sometimes… I was just wondering how you'll managed with them…

I'm not particularly good in dealing with troubles… most of the time I prefer to retired and just think, but it doesn't work all the time.

karine wrote: I just think that we've got to face some bad situations sometimes… I was just wondering how you'll managed with them…

I'm not particularly good in dealing with troubles… most of the time I prefer to retired and just think, but it doesn't work all the time.

Bad situations... Now I'm thinking... if I've ever had them. Looks like I didn't sail the sea of trouble. (Knocking on the wood) That's pretty odd.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Grab a bottle of beer and call a friend

If only I could call someone at this time of night…

o.k, I'll go to bed and sleep instead !

*thanks for the help*

karine wrote:

Ronald Kirsch wrote: anybody who does't have a teddy should go and get one immediately.

And have a good night sleep then

a good night's sleep is vital to well being and highly recommended. you only appreciate the imortance of it when can't have one. thankfully i at least can do that again. hey i may be slowly getting over this grief thing.

karine wrote: If only I could call someone at this time of night…

That's why it's great to have friends 12 hours away... who are awake while you're asleep :)

[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote:

karine wrote: If only I could call someone at this time of night…

That's why it's great to have friends 12 hours away... who are awake while you're asleep :)

Hmm, how did I know I'd be responding to this thread?

I guess I've said a lot about it in the past, but my main issue in life is that I can't seem to get into a decent, healthy relationship with a woman. Not that I'm incapable of this (I tell myself), but that for reasons that stem back to my early adolesence I've just never had the confidence to go out on a limb and put myself out there (except on a few occasions, which always ended with more awkwardness between me and the lady I cared for than anything romantic).

What keeps me going and from giving up completely is the belief that there has to be someone for me. Or someone willing to put up with me. I'd hate to end up with someone who settled for me (that's my one condition, I guess).

Of late, this belief has been tested by my current situation: I started working at a new store in August, during the first few weeks of which I met the woman who currently has dibs on my heart. We hit it off immediately, then I heard through the grapevine that she had a boyfriend of several years that no one I talked to believed would break up with anytime soon (word of warning: it's never a good idea to ask co-workers about your chances with someone. For some reason they never think so). So I'd take pleasure in the little moments we'd have together at work, and try to hang around so maybe she'd see more in me than most women seem to have seen during my previous twenty-six years on this planet.

So when she told me she'd broken up with said boyfriend a week before Christmas, I felt great. Then she started going on about some new guy she was already dating. Cue the banghead smilie

And then there was yesterday and my aforementioned hasty exit from the 1,000th time I've had to hear someone I care about bitch about some guy who treats her like a doormat emotionally while I'm sitting there.

Why don't I give up on her? Possibly because I'm stupid; possibly because up until I started college, work was the only place I met women; possibly because I have a rare disease that forces me to be attracted to unavailable women. Or it's possibly because I figure we'd be good together if I could just get off my ass and tell her any of this.

My point is, and I realize it's a cliche, but "don't give up" works for just about any circumstances. I don't mean "don't give up drugs" or "don't give up riding in the car with your torso out the window" or some sort of activity that could be dangerous and illegal, but don't give up on life. Sure, it's shit sometimes. But it's the shit times that make you appreciate the little moments when everything is right with the world, when a girl with the prettiest blue eyes you've ever seen and the nicest "no teeth showing" smile seems to think you've just said or done something funny and laughs because of it. Because you got to have something to help you get through the day.

That's my two cents, anyway

karine wrote:

[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote:

karine wrote: If only I could call someone at this time of night…

That's why it's great to have friends 12 hours away... who are awake while you're asleep :)

that's what we are here for. most of us are a careing shareing bunch, and have gone through a lot of crap ourselves. time is a great healer, as of last week i didn't believe it, but it seems that things are slowly getting better down here on planet kirsch. hell it has only been like four months of shit. things will and do get better. they just have to. trust me on this.

Planet KIRSCH-may the force be with you!