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Baldness and Sex

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OK, I made this thread before, but after I pressed Submit, the words disappeared. Here is the second run.

Mom has this theory from her psychology class that men who bald prematurely have high sex drives. I recently read an article validating this fact. This topic has been brought up multiple times in the shedroom. Upon the insistence of some fellow NOOLers, I decided to finally post my insights.

Baldness and sex drive have a good side and a bad side.

Let's start off with the good.

  1. Sean Connery

Caption: Look at me, I got an AFI award because I'm the REAL James Bond. Daniel Craig ain't got s--- on me!

My insight: Sean lost his hair when he was about my age (around 20, 21). I couldn't believe that he wore toupee in his films including the 007 flicks. Still, Connery is has the charisma. The ageless wonder.

  1. Prince Albert of Monaco

Caption: Hey, I'm the prince! I don't have two kids (out of wedlock) for nothing. I need an heir though before my nephew takes the throne; my biological clock is really ticking.

My insight: With all due respect your highness, you seriously need a reality check. As we say it in America, pimpin' ain't easy. You seriously need an heir before your dad keels over in his grave. You need more than just your hair to figure this out, Albert. Use what your hair is standing on, just for once. BTW, I mean the head. No, NO! I don't mean THAT head, you Monte Carlo playboy, you!

Now, here's some bad news.

  1. The Clemson Killer

No caption will be available out of the respect of the dead and her loved ones. Basically, this guy went into a 20-year-old female student's apartment and strangled her with a bikini top.

My insight: When I heard news about this guy's capture, I said, "I knew it! I knew it! See, I told you: Mom was right! At home, when the local news announces that someone committed a crime against a minor, Mom and I make a sport of "Is it a bald guy?" We're right 50% of the time.

Which brings us to:

  1. The Dateline pedophiles.

How many bald guys do you see in the lineup?

Here are some more

The U.S. news show Dateline did an undercover investigation on rounding up potential kiddie-fiddlers who want to solicit sex on the net. It didn't surprise me that the pattern still continues...

On a positive note: Here's a helpful link that will help certain people take pride in their baldness. Baldness doesn't mean that you will be like examples 3 and 4, so embrace your inner Patrick Stewart, Telly Savalas, or Yul Brynner.

List of famous bald people, brought to you by Wikipedia

And girls, keep your eyes open during the World Cup matches. What the foreign lands bring can be quite exotic!

A final pic:

Samuel L. Jackson

With my trademark Kangol look, I'm one smooth, cool, bad motherf---er!

Disclaimer: This is just a funny insight. It does not suggest that one will be a kiddie-fiddler, cradle-robber, or any of this deregotary slang that will make certain men into scapegoats. I pretty much know that none of you will be examples 3 and 4 (4 especially).If you have any questions, or further insight, feel free to post. If the question is too complex, I may have to consult with my Okinawan mother. It's been quite a while since her psych class.

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Very profound :nod:

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YES please:D

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This thread sounds PERFECT for you MICK :clap: :crazy:

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I've heard hairy bushes may be coming back into fashion.Not a fan myself:nonono:

:thumbdown:

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Flaming June wrote: I've heard hairy bushes may be coming back into fashion.Not a fan myself:nonono:

:thumbdown:

I am :nod:

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hmmmm.....This has the makings of a cheeky little poll.

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Flaming June wrote: I've heard hairy bushes may be coming back into fashion.Not a fan myself:nonono:

:thumbdown:

We're not back on to Dubya again are we, fercrissake? Neither he nor his dad seem that hairy, unless you count ear and nasal hair.

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SHED wrote: YES please:D

Seconded. Er, not with YOU, Rocket. :D

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But this Persis Khambatta bird seems like a good choice for baldness and sex...

:thumb: :D

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Looks like a mannequin, Comrade. But she is a beauty, I agree.

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Comrade Shampanyov, Gentleman wrote: But this Persis Khambatta bird seems like a good choice for baldness and sex...

:thumb: :D

You've got a creepy choice here, really. :love:

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Boatraceface wrote: hmmmm.....This has the makings of a cheeky little poll.

Has she got a hairy fanny?

:food:

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hugh mcphail wrote:

Flaming June wrote: I've heard hairy bushes may be coming back into fashion.Not a fan myself:nonono:

:thumbdown:

We're not back on to Dubya again are we, fercrissake? Neither he nor his dad seem that hairy, unless you count ear and nasal hair.

Both Twats?

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[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: Looks like a mannequin, Comrade. But she is a beauty, I agree.

It's because she's a Robot.*

*Cue cath doing the Robot.... :D

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Ahhh, thanks for straightening me out, Comrade. :)

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My pleasure. :)

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[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: hmmmm.....This has the makings of a cheeky little poll.

Has she got a hairy fanny?

:food:

Never mind the Poles,some of those German and Russians have such hairy armpits they look like they've got ZZ top in a double headlock:eek3:

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Cozzie don;t bad mouth the Monaco Royal Family please.

PS bald women are UGH! hair is part of what defines a woman's femininity (possibly not as large a part as being dickless and possessed of breasts, then again, that counts fat bob....anyway)

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Doctor? wrote: Cozzie don;t bad mouth the Monaco Royal Family please.

PS bald women are UGH! hair is part of what defines a woman's femininity (possibly not as large a part as being dickless and possessed of breasts, then again, that counts fat bob....anyway)

why are you being fancy on this crappy thread

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ffs. at least it isn't about bald pedophiles.

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:abovelol: :abovelol: :abovelol: :abovelol: :abovelol: :abovelol: :abovelol:

really...i'm peeing my pants

do it

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I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

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[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

This is going sick. :laugh:

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|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

This is going sick. :laugh:

i like where's its going. Commy, would you dare to agree?

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[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

you'd better careful of for bald men then.

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|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

This is going sick. :laugh:

:abovelol:

Oh, that is Funny with a capital F...

:lol:

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ghost rider wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

This is going sick. :laugh:

i like where's its going. Commy, would you dare to agree?

:baby:

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NOOLigan wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

you'd better careful of for bald men then.

*shaves head*

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[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

you'd better careful of for bald men then.

*shaves head*

:abovelol:

Brilliant... :laugh:

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Think Phil & Grunt Mitchell. Ooh. Put anyone off......

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[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

you'd better careful of for bald men then.

*shaves head*

*gathers clippings*

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Comrade Shampanyov, Gentleman wrote:

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

you'd better careful of for bald men then.

*shaves head*

*gathers clippings*

there won't be many there. lol

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[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

All I see in the link are hirsute pedophiles, which would suggest that bald men are in the Sean Connery studmuffin camp, eh? Just bein' scientific an' all... :D

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AL JARVIS must be a goddamn sexual tyrannusarus!!

Back to the Doc's post,yeah a woman's hair is her crown,but you only have to look at Gail Porter and Kylie recently,and they still look gorgeous.

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NOOLigan wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov, Gentleman wrote:

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I already did mention about the pedophiles. Click on the links, would ya? :D

you'd better careful of for bald men then.

*shaves head*

*gathers clippings*

there won't be many there. lol

*bitch*

:lol:

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monty wrote: AL JARVIS must be a goddamn sexual tyrannusarus!!

Back to the Doc's post,yeah a woman's hair is her crown,but you only have to look at Gail Porter and Kylie recently,and they still look gorgeous.

Not AS gorgeous tho. Must confess to a wee soft spot for Miss Porter.

Nice Pic BTW No.73 is that the bottom of the bell tower?

Anyway Be seeing you

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monty wrote: AL JARVIS must be a goddamn sexual tyrannusarus!!

:nod: :lol:

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well he's old enough to be a dinosaur, that's for sure....

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hibster wrote: well he's old enough to be a dinosaur, that's for sure....

Remember, David. Only as young as the woman you're feeling. :nod:

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so that makes you, what, 248 with all the ones you've got? :scratch:

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hibster wrote: so that makes you, what, 248 with all the ones you've got? :scratch:

I like to take their Median age. :nod:

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15 then? :evil4:

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Al Jarvis wrote:

monty wrote: AL JARVIS must be a goddamn sexual tyrannusarus!!

:nod: :lol:

That would be some feeding frenzy :food:

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hibster wrote: 15 then? :evil4:

Who brought weight into it?! :eek3:

I asked for that. Thought you were gonna repeat, "Yes, 248 then!"

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Al Jarvis wrote:

hibster wrote: 15 then? :evil4:

Who brought weight into it?! :eek3:

I asked for that. Thought you were gonna repeat, "Yes, 248 then!"

At first I thought he meant weight, as in pounds etc; but then I realised it was money. 15 pound is cheap isn't it? :evil4:

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Come on Wino, even prostitutes have standards :evil4:

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:rofl:

That wasn't what I meant at all! :shades:

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Al Jarvis wrote:

monty wrote: AL JARVIS must be a goddamn sexual tyrannusarus!!

:nod: :lol:

In light of recent paliontological evidence and thinking (http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/horizon/2004/trexqa.shtml), that would mean yer not half the big scary hunter everyone thought you were, and you are in fact nowt but a scavenger with a big gob, spazzy arms and terminal bad breath. :lol:

A sexual Godzilla is a much more ego-friendly metaphor I would suggest, although it does lead to the possibilty of stomping tokyo to dust every time you get the horn :D

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Doctor? wrote:

Al Jarvis wrote:

monty wrote: AL JARVIS must be a goddamn sexual tyrannusarus!!

:nod: :lol:

In light of recent paliontological evidence and thinking (http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/horizon/2004/trexqa.shtml), that would mean yer not half the big scary hunter everyone thought you were, and you are in fact nowt but a scavenger with a big gob, spazzy arms and terminal bad breath. :lol:

A sexual Godzilla is a much more ego-friendly metaphor I would suggest, although it does lead to the possibilty of stomping tokyo to dust every time you get the horn :D

Comrade is a lover, not a biter. :D

Well, maybe a gentle nip. I'll get me coat.

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