OK, I made this thread before, but after I pressed Submit, the words disappeared. Here is the second run.
Mom has this theory from her psychology class that men who bald prematurely have high sex drives. I recently read an article validating this fact. This topic has been brought up multiple times in the shedroom. Upon the insistence of some fellow NOOLers, I decided to finally post my insights.
Baldness and sex drive have a good side and a bad side.
Let's start off with the good.
- Sean Connery
Caption: Look at me, I got an AFI award because I'm the REAL James Bond. Daniel Craig ain't got s--- on me!
My insight: Sean lost his hair when he was about my age (around 20, 21). I couldn't believe that he wore toupee in his films including the 007 flicks. Still, Connery is has the charisma. The ageless wonder.
- Prince Albert of Monaco
Caption: Hey, I'm the prince! I don't have two kids (out of wedlock) for nothing. I need an heir though before my nephew takes the throne; my biological clock is really ticking.
My insight: With all due respect your highness, you seriously need a reality check. As we say it in America, pimpin' ain't easy. You seriously need an heir before your dad keels over in his grave. You need more than just your hair to figure this out, Albert. Use what your hair is standing on, just for once. BTW, I mean the head. No, NO! I don't mean THAT head, you Monte Carlo playboy, you!
Now, here's some bad news.
- The Clemson Killer
No caption will be available out of the respect of the dead and her loved ones. Basically, this guy went into a 20-year-old female student's apartment and strangled her with a bikini top.
My insight: When I heard news about this guy's capture, I said, "I knew it! I knew it! See, I told you: Mom was right! At home, when the local news announces that someone committed a crime against a minor, Mom and I make a sport of "Is it a bald guy?" We're right 50% of the time.
Which brings us to:
- The Dateline pedophiles.
How many bald guys do you see in the lineup?
The U.S. news show Dateline did an undercover investigation on rounding up potential kiddie-fiddlers who want to solicit sex on the net. It didn't surprise me that the pattern still continues...
On a positive note: Here's a helpful link that will help certain people take pride in their baldness. Baldness doesn't mean that you will be like examples 3 and 4, so embrace your inner Patrick Stewart, Telly Savalas, or Yul Brynner.
List of famous bald people, brought to you by Wikipedia
And girls, keep your eyes open during the World Cup matches. What the foreign lands bring can be quite exotic!
A final pic:
Samuel L. Jackson
With my trademark Kangol look, I'm one smooth, cool, bad motherf---er!
Disclaimer: This is just a funny insight. It does not suggest that one will be a kiddie-fiddler, cradle-robber, or any of this deregotary slang that will make certain men into scapegoats. I pretty much know that none of you will be examples 3 and 4 (4 especially).If you have any questions, or further insight, feel free to post. If the question is too complex, I may have to consult with my Okinawan mother. It's been quite a while since her psych class.
:D
