Blonde moments

(No offence to the fair haired on here).

How often do you have blonde moments? I have far too many. In the past few days alone:

I've totally forgotten Fathers Day Jumped on the train to Brighton instead of London Trapped my head in the car window turning looking to check my blindspot, but forgetting my window was closing - i've now got a black-eye Forgotten a really important meeting yesterday ... and again today

Duh

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: (No offence to the fair haired on here).

How often do you have blonde moments? I have far too many. In the past few days alone:

Trapped my head in the car window turning looking to check my blindspot, but forgetting my window was closing - i've now got a black-eye

Duh

I know I shouldn't laugh, but what??? That is platinum blonde - you ok??

:\ohwell: I Don't think I really need to answer this one do I? It's all just so obvious

Still pissed from the weekend, Missy?

It really hurt!! I'm not like that all the time, but i definitely have dizzy moments!

Barnette wrote: Still pissed from the weekend, Missy?

What do you mean? I never drink.

I'm not blond myself, but I think it's insulting to call these moments "blond" moments...

leather_girl wrote: I'm not blond myself, but I think it's insulting to call these moments "blond" moments...

oh well - still funny though

Everybody here calls them blonde moments. I'm not being blonde-ist!

I did actually say that in the first paragraph if you read it.

If somebody called them brunette moments (which they probably will thanks to me) i wouldn't give a fuck.

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote:

Barnette wrote: Still pissed from the weekend, Missy?

What do you mean? I never drink.

Oops forgot, you hate red wine. :D

Yeah, but i spit it out in a wine tasting stylee

Just as you do the brandy!!!

PS. We all call them blonde moments.

Thank fuck you had adult (wellllll) supervision most of the weekend Jem, yer a fookin liability pet. you left out your astounding ability to drive to anywhere with no problem, but be completely incapbable of finding your way home. Suddenly the name of your Footie club has new meaning :D

EDIT: to answer the question.....Not all that often but they are usually spectacular, and all the more amusing to the witnesses for my usual smart arseyness.

PS, it doesn;t count as spitting it out the next morning :D

Does knocking over a full cup of water on your desk count as a blonde moment?

Or walking round the office for half the day not realising that half your buttons are undone (until your ex tells you after perving for half the day)??

pretty sure the 2nd one qualifys.

I have a repeated problem with the old chestnut of beating devices stupid before realising they are switch off/to the wrong mode/whatever.

Speaking of Blonde moments, a certain blonde friend of mine can destroy PC's at will, it terrifying. On one occasion she logged in to one, it died, she moved to another, and as soon as she touched it it died....she headed for a third, and it threw a blue screen of death before she even got within 2 feet of it. Total truth.

I recently removed part of my thumb with a bread knife. Sporting such an injury seems to concentrate ones clumsiness - I have re-injured the digit many times in a surprising number of ways and made it far worse.

I have beautiful blonde hair.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: I recently removed part of my thumb with a bread knife. Sporting such an injury seems to concentrate ones clumsiness - I have re-injured the digit many times in a surprising number of ways and made it far worse.

I have beautiful blonde hair.

Yes compound clumsiness, I know it well. When I'm having a painful time of things, I am like Norman Wisdom or inspector Cluesaeu, or both. I think yer brain focuses so much on the injury and how much it hurts it forgets little things like basic navigation and saftey.

Doctor? wrote: pretty sure the 2nd one qualifys.

I have a repeated problem with the old chestnut of beating devices stupid before realising they are switch off/to the wrong mode/whatever.

Speaking of Blonde moments, a certain blonde friend of mine can destroy PC's at will, it terrifying. On one occasion she logged in to one, it died, she moved to another, and as soon as she touched it it died....she headed for a third, and it threw a blue screen of death before she even got within 2 feet of it. Total truth.

Electrical devices seem to die in my presence quite a lot - TV's, washing machines and fridge freezers when I was a child, now TV, stereo, computer !

Some people just DO that. I know a guy who jams mobile phones, seriously.

They prefer to toy with me rather than die, possibly cos they know I will go into their guts if they try it on with me :D

Doctor? wrote: Some people just DO that. I know a guy who jams mobile phones, seriously.

They prefer to toy with me rather than die, possibly cos they know I will go into their guts if they try it on with me :D

Scary!

Oh - when I was a child I also couldn't wear watches as the time always went a bit weird!

Doesn't quite classify as a blonde moment.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

I have beautiful blonde hair.

Where? Your back?

Leaving the house for my recent trip, I turned back to get my wallet from the house. I managed to get to the end of the road and realised that I'd not brought my passport. As I was rifling through my bag to check, a workman shouted "don't forget your toothbrush" at me.

Yes, I had indeed forgotten my toothbrush, my whole washing bag in fact.

And my sunglasses

GlasVegas wrote:

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

I have beautiful blonde hair.

Where? Your back?

Nah, yer maw's erse

Doctor? wrote: pretty sure the 2nd one qualifys.

I have a repeated problem with the old chestnut of beating devices stupid before realising they are switch off/to the wrong mode/whatever.

Speaking of Blonde moments, a certain blonde friend of mine can destroy PC's at will, it terrifying. On one occasion she logged in to one, it died, she moved to another, and as soon as she touched it it died....she headed for a third, and it threw a blue screen of death before she even got within 2 feet of it. Total truth.

OMG that happened to me at college although I did reach the 3rd one before it died

you're not safe un supervised either FFS. OMG!

I did mentioned this before somewhere, but our former flautist Cara, drove 35 miles in a hurricane (more or less, horizontal rain anyway) on a moped that was far from legal and far from safe. She arrived at rehearsal, we all yelled at her for risking the journey, but then said "oh since yer hear, get your flute out"...Her face was priceless...yup, left behind. She also later got a gig tourng Japan with $BIG_NAME...got to japan....yup, no flute.

Hair colour: Blonde as blonde can be.

i went to the cash machine without my cash card the other day

also was walking round with my headphones in for about 20 minutes before i realised my ipod wasn't actually on

I've taken a remote control to an exam when i was in the 1st year

Oh, and i regularly lose my remote control. Usually finding it in either the bread bin or fridge!

leather_girl wrote: I'm not blond myself, but I think it's insulting to call these moments "blond" moments...

there's not much in these forums that don't offend you is there?

One ex (blonde) g/f of mine thought shooting stars were ,well, indeed stars shooting through the night sky.I had to tell her that it was actually just a small bit of rock probably no bigger than a tennis ball burning up in the atmosphere.bless

I have had blonde moments myself of course

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Trapped my head in the car window turning looking to check my blindspot, but forgetting my window was closing - i've now got a black-eye

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: I recently removed part of my thumb with a bread knife. Sporting such an injury seems to concentrate ones clumsiness - I have re-injured the digit many times in a surprising number of ways and made it far worse.

A few years ago, i took a summer field class. Because it was a field class, we naturally loaded the back of the van with beer. Well, the professor opened the back door, and one six pack came tumbling out. No problem, I just started picking up the broken glass, and first thing you know, I sliced my thumb open. No problem, I just applied a bandaid, once the profuse bleeding had ebbed enough to apply a bandaid...

Nothing remarkable there then.

Now, my subsequent accuracy in cutting that same wound open repeatedly over the next several weeks-- every time I used a kitchen knife, basically-- that was truly remarkable.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: And my sunglasses

Cheevers Biggie! Finally got the sunglasses sorted!

nobody in my family is blonde.

Doctor? wrote: pretty sure the 2nd one qualifys.

I have a repeated problem with the old chestnut of beating devices stupid before realising they are switch off/to the wrong mode/whatever.

Speaking of Blonde moments, a certain blonde friend of mine can destroy PC's at will, it terrifying. On one occasion she logged in to one, it died, she moved to another, and as soon as she touched it it died....she headed for a third, and it threw a blue screen of death before she even got within 2 feet of it. Total truth.

Ahem!!!!

Video Cassette

Digital Mike wrote: Video Cassette

VHS I hope!

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

man what was the point in that? there's no need.

Even Flow wrote:

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

man what was the point in that? there's no need.

He wants to prove Shug right.

or maybe he's just a knob

Maybe we all are, at times?

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

well fook off then. as i recall that thread was quite popular. if you don't like something don't open it.

you claim not too be overly dull, so work out what kind of comment it was yourself.

Wino wrote: Maybe we all are, at times?

maybe

but this guy is one AT ALL TIMES

NOOLigan wrote:

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

well fook off then. as i recall that thread was quite popular. if you don't like something don't open it.

you claim not too be overly dull, so work out what kind of comment it was yourself.

Are you two still love rivals for an American bird?

and c)

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

well fook off then. as i recall that thread was quite popular. if you don't like something don't open it.

you claim not too be overly dull, so work out what kind of comment it was yourself.

Are you two still love rivals for an American bird?

and c)

Ronno's a southerner. He only woos family.

Comrade Shampanyov, Gentleman wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

well fook off then. as i recall that thread was quite popular. if you don't like something don't open it.

you claim not too be overly dull, so work out what kind of comment it was yourself.

Are you two still love rivals for an American bird?

and c)

Ronno's a southerner. He only woos family.

Fair enough,don't condone it.. but it is Behind Closed Doors after all..

Boatraceface wrote:

Comrade Shampanyov, Gentleman wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

well fook off then. as i recall that thread was quite popular. if you don't like something don't open it.

you claim not too be overly dull, so work out what kind of comment it was yourself.

Are you two still love rivals for an American bird?

and c)

Ronno's a southerner. He only woos family.

Fair enough,don't condone it.. but it is Behind Closed Doors after all..

That's my motto.

I have dull,dull blonde hair now..But I had a bright blonde moment when I stuck my head out of a train window, and saw the whites of the oncoming traindriver's eyes hurtlin at me blowing his horn. Needed every ounce of my reflexes to recoil,and fresh underwear

1. no
2. easy there comrade
3. i would say really really dry.

NOOLigan wrote:

1. no

NOOLigan wrote: 2. easy there comrade

I know, I know... "Comrade, behave!:

NOOLigan wrote: 3. i would say really really dry.

Like a fine champagne.

1. was boaty's question. do i have to spell out everything now. :D

listen to the voices in your head comrade.

Missy, your forgetfulness of holidays is my curse. Worst was one day I came home from work. Ate dinner, put the kids to bed, and sat in front of the TV. At 2358 (11:58 pm for you civilian folks) my wife turns to me and asks, "you forgot didn't you?" Being really clever I retorted, "Forgot what?" Turns out it was her birthday. I tried to think of something to whip out at the last moment, but my mind was blank and couldn't pull anything out my ass. All I had to give was a really dumb expression on my face.

Still gets brought up even after 5 years. Don't think that one will ever be forgotten.

JHC

Uncle Liam wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: nobody in my family is blonde.

Is this meant to be:

a) ironic b) witty c) really really dull

Heres a blonde moment: sticking up a load of photos with you and that austrian bloke with the belief that even the slightest person actually gives a shit.

Someone must have had a really shit day in work.

68Pontiac wrote: Missy, your forgetfulness of holidays is my curse.

Reminding me of a spectacular faux pax...

Years ago, it was my Uncle's 50th birthday and we were all going out for a family meal. When i was younger i had a talent for funny/rude poetry and my parents asked me to do him a poem. So the night before i spent hours doing this poem, which was really good. There was plenty in there about being a half century, being nifty at fifty and the like. It went down a storm, but i wondered why my uncle seemed to be laughing harder than anybody.

It was actually his 40th.

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote:

68Pontiac wrote: Missy, your forgetfulness of holidays is my curse.

Reminding me of a spectacular faux pax...

Years ago, it was my Uncle's 50th birthday and we were all going out for a family meal. When i was younger i had a talent for funny/rude poetry and my parents asked me to do him a poem. So the night before i spent hours doing this poem, which was really good. There was plenty in there about being a half century, being nifty at fifty and the like. It went down a storm, but i wondered why my uncle seemed to be laughing harder than anybody.

It was actually his 40th.

It's a wonder you never got hit for that.

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote:

68Pontiac wrote: Missy, your forgetfulness of holidays is my curse.

Reminding me of a spectacular faux pax...

Years ago, it was my Uncle's 50th birthday and we were all going out for a family meal. When i was younger i had a talent for funny/rude poetry and my parents asked me to do him a poem. So the night before i spent hours doing this poem, which was really good. There was plenty in there about being a half century, being nifty at fifty and the like. It went down a storm, but i wondered why my uncle seemed to be laughing harder than anybody.

It was actually his 40th.

Do you still do funny/rude poems? I'm sure a Nool one would be a riot. :)

If it had been his wife's age i put 10 years on, i'd have been in trouble. Men aren't quite so sensitive about their age!

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Men aren't quite so sensitive about their age!

Mostly, but its not unusual..

Is that you Nick?

Barney Army wrote:

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Men aren't quite so sensitive about their age!

Mostly, but its not unusual..

Heard them shit blonde jokes going round? Here's another......

A Blonde,a Brunette and a Redhead on the run from the law,find 3 sacks and hide in one each,with 2 bobbys in pursuit...The Coppers see these three sacks, and kick the brunette's,to see whats inside...a voice goes "Woof Woof" from inside."Ah,leave it its a dog" sats the bobby...Redhead's sack gets a prod..."meow, meow"she says."ah,leave it its a cat" says the lawman... the blonde gets a shake,and she says "potatoes,potatoes"

losing a cigarette, a lit one at that and sticking a fork in a microwave while almost completely asleep. a blonde moment in insomnia and self-hatred. i have this thing with forks..... how the hell could i have been nearly asleep? i think i was in between theta-delta, or something....