BEER LYRICS: Brew Monday & other classics

Very simple rules. If the main subject aint beer, get the fook outta here!

BREW MONDAY

How I love beer and drink it like I do? When my hands are upon thee I drink it and sigh “Aaagh” And there’s no chance I’m mistaken I know I heard your words Telling me, how you love beer I tell you, how I love beer

Those you drank before me Imbibed on your vacations From the Guinness and the Buds They'll taste no good no more And I still find it so hard To buy you beer with my pay But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me Just too fuck off already today

I see a bar in the harbor I drink and shall obey But if I wasn’t making a fortune I'd be a cunt of a person today And there’s no chance I’m mistaken Coz I thought I heard you speak Tell me how thirsty I feel Buy me beer, that’s how I feel

Now I stand here fucken waiting... I thought I told the bitch to leave While I waited at the bar Tell me how does it feel When your beer tastes cold

BEER LYRICS #02: Murder

Beer Beer Beer, I love you!!!!!!!!

My mind ish going I can (hic) feel it There ish no queshtion about it

BEER LYRICS #02: Murder

Beer Beer Beer, I love you!!!!!!!!

My mind ish going I can (hic) feel it There ish no queshtion about it

TEMPTATION

Lager, a Stella, I hope I need a drink inside, i'm not the pope And though it hurts me to see these prices I have to pay Bloody Marketing Departments, I'd never seen, their probably Gay

Up, down, turn around I won't spill any on the ground Tonight I think I'll walk alone I'll have a kebab as I go home

Each sip I take I know I'll always try To enjoy this amber nectar that flows through me From time to time, I find I need a Piss That was urgent to myself, here hold this !

Up, down, turn around I won't spill any on the ground Tonight I think I'll walk alone I'll have a kebab as I go home

Oh, you've got Nice legs Oh, you've got Long Legs Oh, you've got Great Legs

And, I've never tasted stella quite like this before no I've never tasted stella quite like this before Pint's from the bar, drank by people down below People in this bar, it's happy hour you know ! Oh, it's Shug's round Oh, I've never tasted stella quite like this before Oh no, I've never tasted stella quite like this before

Shug wrote: I need a drink.

its friday...not long to wait now Shug.

Once youve had a bottle of this,youll never bother your arse again with the likes of Fosters,Carling etc. Italian,clean crisp taste. Not too heavy,hard to find on draft hence not in competition with Stella or Kronenbourg.

Me? if they sell this,i dont touch other lager!

I had several last night and will have some more at lunchtime.

Do I win £40?

BEER LYRICS #03: Rounds and Rounds

I just can't help thinking I got the last ones in I got three pints of Kronie and spilt one down the front of me… …new t-shirt, what's going on You keep telling me that Stella’s Strong I don't care about eating food But if you mess with me I'll get rid these empties

The pitcher you see is five pints of Kronie It's not real ale, I’m sure, that’s something I abhor And it's driving me wild It makes me act like a child no edit required there!

How's the back injury Col?

STAND AND DELIVER!

Not bad Mick - the doctors gave me some excellent medicine and I've been adding some of my own. Got the physio on Monday.

I'm not using my back as an excuse for not posting your DVDs though, that's 'cos I'm a lazy cnut. I am literally on my way to the Post Office NOW

Glad to hear it.Nowt worse than a fucked back:( I fucked mine fighting iron down t'steel mill a couple of years back,despite extensive kinetic handling training.Could barely move for 3 weeks.Very unpleasant,and I thought my days of playing twister were numbered.Thankfully I am now fit as a butchers dog once more,but I've had to curtail the summersalts! Shame mind, cos the kids were well impressed with my Flip summersalt with pike:\ohwell:

Edit: Sorry!Hijack over now:bandit:

Beer Less

There were times in recent years When all I drank were shots and beers It very nearly left me dead I lived in a pub called The King's Head

I drank hard To forget everything about you And almost everyone else who I knew I spent a lifetime pissed up on booze Now you won't even buy me beer

Can't you understand Why don't you buy a round It's not your right to fuss And be sanctimonious

I knew I couldn't drink orange juice You knew you couldn't call a truce No gin or pint would be refused A ten pub crawl without my shoes

But you know I love every beer that I down Even though it does make you frown Someone buy me a beer! Because I've got no money left

Can't you understand Why don't you buy a round It's not your right to fuss And be sanctimonious

Can't you understand Why don't you buy a round It's not your right to fuss And be sanctimonious

I drank hard To forget everything about you And almost everyone else who I knew I spent my life's savings in the pub Now you won't even buy me beer

Snorri xxx

Sweet! The true essence for all to see.

Now all we need is someone to play all these live.

In A Lovely Pub

Caressing the barmaid in dreams Ale that was ordered for one The hops and barley and yeast How I wish I had beer with me now

The Boddy's that thrills and delights Consumed on so many nights Warm like an ale in your fist How I wish I had beer with me now

The barman looks `round as he waits Changing a barrel of Thwaites Someday we'll be barred from the inn How I wish I had beer with me now

Snorri xxx

SNORRI

Didn't realise we could have Div songs too:

I can't walk with cider, I can't walk straight, with cider. See the cider bus, Always dangerous, Endless talking, Utter bollocks, Can't walk away.

Brilliant lads!

Shug wrote:

J.A.K wrote:

Shug wrote: I need a drink.

its friday...not long to wait now Shug.

I know mate!

One of my mates bacame a dad for the first time on Wednesday so we're all away out to get shitfaced tonight

a lad from our local - from Hamilton - gets hitched today to a scouser.

I'm going the DO tonight, to see how he's coping with her.

He's from Hamilton, and I'm not kidding, he is so hard to understand. what what what I say to him. strongest scottish accent i've ever heard. or maybe its just him. or me.

J.A.K wrote:

what what what I say to him. strongest scottish accent i've ever heard. or maybe its just him. or me.

It's you!

Brew Order (1981) Bowel Movement

01 - Beer's a Godsend 02 - Uncouth 03 - Senseless 04 - Chosen Wine? 05 - I C Beer 06 - The Jim (Bean) 07 - Scousers With Beer 08 - Fell In The Nile

Hey now , what yer having

Hey now what yer having Don't have gin, mothers ruin Look at the choice there is here Beer, spirits and even Cider

You had the brightest future Writing songs on your computer But you couldn't drive when you were pissed And the life you took will be dearly missed

You've gotta hold your head up high Give a breath test, or at least try You've give a breath and hold You've gotta do as you are told

The days you've said to me Why does lager make you pee Is it Stella or castlemane It all turns to piss down the drain

Hey now, who's that barmaid What's it take to get her laid Turn around don't go near her she's got a dose of Ghonerrea

You've gotta hold your pint high You gotta drink the pub dry You've gotta lift that yard of ale Are you pissed, yer looking frail?

You've gotta hold your pint high You gotta drink the pub dry You've gotta lift that yard of ale Are you pissed, yer looking frail?

Why don't you put that pool cue down Get up the bar, it's your round

Hey now what you having (what you having Don't have gin, mothers ruin

The Village Inn

When a new pub opens near you And it's happy hour all day We shall be pissed forever Everyone who drinks this way Oh, our Beer is great every drop The Barley and the Malt and the Hops Oh, our Beer is great every drop The Barley and the Malt and the Hops

When the darts team win 5 - 3 There will be sandwiches for you and for me And the brewery change the image Wanting a new market, NO not our wives

Oh, the old guys are salt of the earth Full of Merryment, Laughter and Mirth Oh, the old guys are salt of the earth Full of Merryment, Laughter and Mirth

I'll see you two days later Same place, same time And I see you got the pub wrong Wrong place, the right time

Oh, our Beer is great every drop The Barley and the Malt and the Hops Oh, our Beer is great every drop The Barley and the Malt and the Hops

Their pub cat died three years ago Mice run riot all over the show

Scheisscenhausen! I thought I had too much time on my hands!

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote: TEMPTATION Up, down, turn around I won't spill any on the ground Tonight I think I'll walk alone I'll have a kebab as I go home

Oh, you've got Nice legs Oh, you've got Long Legs Oh, you've got Great Legs

And, I've never tasted stella quite like this before no I've never tasted stella quite like this before Pint's from the bar, drank by people down below People in this bar, it's happy hour you know !

OUT 0F CONTROL Sometimes it might be missunderstood. The river runs fast turn, the bar is to the right. The streets are empty at this time of night Bottles, Heineken and Stella that's on tapp. Needs be there always is a map.

And it always seems we're Thirsty or it's good cheer. Though not ever out of of Beer. No, not ever out of Beer. Thirsty or it's good cheer.

Maybe just pleased to get out on the Town Or maybe it's the drink amber or clear dark brown. It seems that hard drinks, yes Teas and coffees hit the spot raise the population far from naught. But it doesn't mean we're too far down the line. Bar if full but there still is lots of Time.

nearly Out of Control and nearly out of the door. the record player keeps turning round. Could be the drinks or maybe it's this town. all this Time just waiting to leave out the door. All this Time Guinness, Pilsner, Kirin, Export too not putting those drinks down.

And it always seems we're Thirsty or it's good cheer Though never out of Beer. No, not ever out of Beer. Thirsty and in good cheer.

maybe you think the price is too much Satellite is of control Does always make for a nice lunch.

Superb 14-k

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote: TEMPTATION

My personal favorite so far

Brilliant, Sir!

Aaaaawwwwwww Cheers Babe !

to all posted so far

as for me/i had too much wine tonight so all i can manage is

Avalanche

Beer Beer Beer Beer

or should that be

Wine Wine Wine Wine

(sorry English is not my native language)

I turn sideways to the pub keep my thoughts from everyone I am a drunkard, I'm a freak Hear me talk, but never puke

So I'm stepping out of mine because drinking is a crime And it may all be too late but I've a passion for this taste

That's the price of booze (that's the price of booze) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could drink it now (that's the price of booze) how long would we last (that's the price of booze)

And when my body is on fire Only drinks make me cooler I turn sideways to the pub and in a moment I am gone

That's the price of booze (that's the price of booze) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could drink it now (that's the price of booze) how long would we last (that's the price of booze)

That's the price of booze (that's the price of booze) Can you feel it (can you feel it) If we could drink it now (that's the price of booze) how long would we last (that's the price of booze)

This is a song about a drinking man Who died at the hands of a desperate barman He trusted those who he thought he knew He trusted those who he talked to I'll never forget the vomit on his face He'd laugh and he'd cry and he'd ruin the place He'd drive us crazy, and he'd drive us wild He used to scream and shout all day long

Now I hope you know this song Is about a bloke who now has gone And other drunkards like him, too Abused and drunk like adults do So don't tell me about more drinks It’s all problems of economics When you can't drink more that you can afford You scream and shout all day long

Drunks like us

I've drunk in this pub for a long time It's always the same I've studied the cracks of the dartboard There always the same Well, now you live your life like a pisshead Your life down the drain Oh, it's called Stella Yes, it's called Stella Oh, it's called Stella And it's brewed in Leuven Oh, it goes down so quickly It's poured so slowly But when you taste it, it tastes so good It's called Stella And it belongs to everyone of us

I've lived my life in the The Village Inn I've lived my life in The King's Head I've lived my life on alcohol I've lived my life on pills But it's called Stella And it belongs to us It's called Stella And it's the only thing that's worth living for It's called Stella And it belongs to us It's called Stella Yes it's called Stella

Oh, Stella is found in the pubs that are best But when Stella is at home, it's the best Stella is the cure for every evil Stella is the air that supports your ego It's called Stella And it's so nice cool It's called Stella And somehow it's become quite fashionable It's called Stella And it belongs to every one of us It's called Stella And it supposed to make you beat your wife

Oooops sorry Dude !

I'm inspired :)

Churn

It's a hard way to come home I'm crawling on my knees The walls are spinning around I'm floating like a leaf

I spent my day on drinking beer You know that I really just don't care I left little presents everywhere In the corner, even there

Turn your eyes from me It's time for me to throw Toss me in a cab won't you please I need you more than you know

There's a wild girl over here She doesn't give a damn A bold move, I grab her there And discover she's a man

I'd rather stay in the pub all night This is where I feel alright What do you want me to say My week's wages have been pissed away

The sky is dark the road is long You tell me that my night is done What do you want me to do Take away your car keys too?

Turn your eyes from me It's time for me to throw Toss me in a cab won't you please I need you more than you know

Turn your eyes from me It's time for me to throw Toss me in a cab won't you please I need you more than you know

Superb

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote: Superb

thanky, like I said, great inspiration was felt. :)

I feel like having a beer now.

Beer

beer me Why won't you beer me I can't recall the day that I last had a becks Well you don't get a beer like this for nothing So here's what you've got to do You work your way to the top of the world Then you can afford a beer or two

Well what's the use in complaining When you've got all the beers need Anyone would think you were hard done to Do you want me to believe

What the hell is happening I can't think of everything I don't know what day it is Or who I'm talking to

But I know that I'm ok 'cause I’ve got beer with me today I haven't got a single problem Now that I've had a beer or two

So what's the use in complaining When you've got more beers than you need Anyone would think you were hard done to What do you want me to believe

everything's gone mead?

OK, Pope...

Everything's Gone Mead

Help me, somebody help me I wonder where I am I see my pint glass before me I'll drink it when I can

It seems like I've been pissed here before It seems like I've been pissed here before It seems like I've been pissed here before It seems like I've been pissed here before It seems like I've been pissed here before

Confusion sprung up from libation A hangover that covers my eyes It sprung from this first all-day session No way have I ever drunk white wine

Is this the way that you wanted to pay Won't you lend me, please lend me ten quid Is this the way that you wanted to pay Won't you lend me, please show me ten quid Lend me Lend me Lend me Lend me Lend me

Snorri xxx

Regret

Maybe I've forgotten the name and the address Of every pub I've ever known It's nothing I regret Save it for another bar It's closing time and the bouncer's kicked me out

I would like a place I could call my local Have a conversation with some old yokel Drink there every day that would be real MINT I would not complain about being skint

I was pissed up you see Almost all the night You used to buy me drinks Now you are tight

I wouldn't even sub you I can be a big spender We don't know our limits But we're on a massive bender You may think that I knocked your glass That I'm cnut, I'll kick your ass On this occasion, it's not true Look at me, I've just puked

I would like a place I could call my local Have a conversation with some old yokel Drink there every day that would be real MINT I would not complain about being skint

I was tanked up on booze Slurring all I spoke You were a complete scrounger Cadging all my smokes

I would like a place I could call my local Have a conversation with some old yokel Drink there every day that would be real MINT I would not complain about being skint

Let's just have another I guess that's what they all say Just before they fall over

Snorri xxx

Cracking choons, folks! Mike - Temptation is class... Thanks for the message, sorry for having to bin your call again - in the cinema and had forgotten to turn my phone off, so folks around not too impressed at the first bars of Regret blasting out in the middle of the film!

Snorri xxx

Fine Time

You`re much too young to get served in here too young to have a glass of beer too young so get right out of here

hey hey,you know i`ve met a lot of you girls but a never met a girl with all her ID

You got a smile and you got a glass but you`re your too young too young to drink in here.

AGE OF CANNED STOUT

Won't you please give me beer This thirst inside, is hurting me dear Now I'm not the kind that likes to drink two Just when one at a time will do I'm not the kind who likes to drink two Just when one, at a time will do

I fell out of bed this morning and was gagging for booze I tripped in the hallway and threw up all over my shoes I emptied out every glass and bottle I had But now the sound of my churning stomach's driving me mad

NOW I'M NOT THE KIND WHO LIKES TO DRINK TWO WHEN ONE PINT AT A TIME WILL DO !!! YOU'RE NOT THE KIND WHO'S GOING TO BUY ME A SPELL IN THE LOCAL A & E!!!!!

Do I find myself legless all the time? Palpitations at the sight of every pub sign?? Now am I not the kind that likes to drink too? Just when one at a time will do! I'm not the kind that likes to drink two!!!!!!

HIC! HiC! BURP!!!!

I've lost it I've lost it I've lost it I've lost it

I've lost it I've lost it I've lost it I've lost it

Woo hoo hoo woo hoo hoo woo hoo hoo Woo hoo hoo woo hoo hoo woo hoo hoo Woo hoo hoo woo hoo hoo woo hoo hoo HIC! BURP!!! BARF!!!

:p

Snorri xxx

WE ALL STAGGER

Three beers to go Three beers to go At the end of the ropes... There's another bar waiting for me

At the end of the ropes...

At the end of the ropes...

AT THE END OF OUR ROPES!!!!!

[Hic hic hic!! BURP!!!]

Drink goes on and on In this beer-fuelled reverie Forever to be pissed Puke now rising inside of me

The drink goes on and on.... On and on....

We've got red eyes tonight We've got red eyes tonight At the end of the ropes! Where all our paychecks go

At the end of the ropes There's another bar waiting for me... We've got three beers to go... At the end of our ropes... At the end of our ropes... MORE BEER ON SHOW!!!!

[HIC HIC HIC!!!......BURRRP!!!!!]

Drink goes on and on In this beer-fuelled reverie Forever to be pissed... Puke now rising inside of me.....

RAT-ARSED LOVE TRIANGLE

Every time I think I'm done I crawl back to the bar and get another one It's a habit I find That I can't leave behind Spending my money just on losing my mind

There's no sense in stopping me From pissing away my life against the trunk of a tree But that's the way that it goes And it's what everyone knows That every day my incontinence grows

[HIC HIC HIC....BUUURRRRRP!!]

Every time I hear you calling I'm gasping for another pint of beer I'll drink and drink until I start falling Collapsing over the nearest chair

[HIC HIC HIC....BUUURRRRRP!!]

I feel legless! I feel numb! I'm boozing like I've never done! Whenever I drink this way I guess I'll never get laid Why can't I pee standing up like I did yesterday?

I can't see the wood for the trees Can't even chew on this piece of cheese Don't wanna get any help Cos I'm enjoying myself I'm gonna stand against you and piss over your knees!

[HIC HIC HIC....BUUURRRRRP!!]

Every time I hear you calling I'm gasping for another pint of beer I'll drink and drink until I start falling Collapsing over the nearest chair

Every time I hear you calling I'm gasping for another pint of beer I'll drink and drink until I start falling Collapsing over the nearest chair

[HIC HIC HIC....BUUURRRRRP!!]

1963

It was January 1963 When Johnny came home with a beer for me He said "I bought it for you because I love you And I bought it for you because it's your birthday too" He was so very nice, but it was melancholic Cos he had brought beer for an alcoholic I used to drink with him, he used drink with me

He told me to get my glass My beer would get me pissed real fast I saw tears when he realised He never meant to hurt me

Oh God Johnny don't take my beer from me It's so many days since I got shit-faced So please I beg don't do this to me Johnny don't take my beer from me Can I drink a half before I barf? For God's sake won't you give me beer?

And though he was ashamed that he brought me Thwaites Johnny came home with another crate And he often remembered how it used to be Before that mental piss-up 1963 There was too many ways that you could go to the boozer Like in a love-affair when you're about to lose her He used to drink with her, she used to drink with him

He told me to get my glass My beer would get me pissed real fast I feel down and hurt my ass He never meant to hurt me

Oh God Johnny don't take my beer from me It's been so many days since I was shit-faced So please I beg don't do this to me Johnny can I have some crisps? Can I drink a half before I barf? Oh Johnny won't you give me beer?

He told me to get my glass My beer would get me pissed real fast I feel down and hurt my ass He never meant to hurt me

Oh God Johnny don't take my beer from me It's been so many days since I was shit-faced So please I beg don't do this to me Johnny can I have some crisps? Can I drink a half before I barf? Oh Johnny won't you give me beer?

I just want to not be ill I don't want this pint to spill I don't want this fag to burn Oh Johnny am I pissed yet? I just want to drink beer I will always drink beer I will always drink beer I will always drink beer I will always drink beer

Snorri xxx

Get Me A Cab Home

In a thousand theme pubs in the High Street I see a thousand people just like me A hundred students on the piss I watch them stumbling, falling in a ditch We drink always in the Rose & Crown There's gonna be a fight in here tonight A thousand theme pubs in the town They're the same

And a dozen pints ago A bouncer threw me out - I threw up on him Let's get a take-away everyone From the kebab van

From the bar to the door From the birds on the lash I've lost my vision and I've spent my cash From the bar to the door To my head on the floor You chat those birds up You chat those birds up Every week You chat those birds up I just sleep

But from the bar to the door From those birds by the bog Everytime I pull a dog After these last few pints get me a cab home After these last few pints get me a cab home Get me a cab home Get me a cab home

Snorri xxx

60 pints an hour

I don't know if I told you, but I'm seeking a pub you see You'll never guess the things that I do I have Stella Artois for tea Don't you know that I'm in the bar with you Can't you see that I can't served When I saw you push in the que While I was withdrawing living on my nerves

I'll get one for you when you get one for me I'll prop up the bar like I always do In the dead of night it'll be alright 'Cos new licensing laws allow drinks all night

You can take me to a Wine Bar, across the big City We can worship the barmaid, and her amazing titties Why don't you come over here and rescue me? She's got me trapped behind the bar Why don't we both pull the pints for free We'll drink 60 pints an hour

I'll get one for you when you get one for me I'll prop up the bar like I always do In the dead of night it'll be alright 'Cos new licensing laws allow drinks all night

I'll get one for you when you get one for me I'll prop up the bar like I always do In the dead of night it'll be alright 'Cos new licensing laws allow drinks all night

I'll get one for you when you get one for me I'll prop up the bar like I always do In the dead of night it'll be alright 'Cos new licensing laws allow drinks all night

I'll get one for you when you get one for me I'll prop up the bar like I always do In the dead of night it'll be alright 'Cos new licensing laws allow drinks all night

Chosen Pub

One pint it's now or never Visit the pub Sometimes the lagers better One pint you hold Believe that all these beers Keep me pissed up What brought the vomit up I'll never know I'll never know I'll never know

Believe me, all I drank with you Believe me, all I drank with you All I drank with you All the times it takes to complain The Stellas gone up Sometimes they keep you waiting For your round I've got a friend in here somewhere Who is drinking stout Believe me, all I drank with you Believe me, all I drank with you All I drank with you

Everyone keeps pinching the songs I'm 'working' on..........

NOBODY use Jetstream...........I've got to the chorus so far .........G & T (G & T)........

Hangover, Morning, Night and Day

One pint didn't do it Two pints didn't feel quite right I didn't know where i was going I just knew that i would be alright

I woke up in a druken haze The sun shone on my window? I said that i'd never do it again What kind of fool do you think i am?

I'm pissed up Always seem to be pissed up Morning night and day I just want some paracetomol In the morning after alcohol Send relief to my head Morning night and day

I had a good time late last night I didn't think it would ever end I staggered home in the broad day light Couldn't get a cab at half past five

One drink wouldn't do it Thirty two drinks are far too much I didn't know what i was doing I ate the floor and a pile of dust

I'm pissed up Always seem to be pissed up Morning night and day I just want some paracetomol In the morning after alcohol Send relief to my head Morning night and day

So if you think that booze won't get you Well think again friend 'cause it's not true In my case, it was not my fault It's the Vikings who made that call

One pint didn't do it Two pints didn't feel quite right

I'm pissed up Always seem to be pissed up Morning night and day I just want some paracetomol In the morning after alcohol Send relief to my head Morning night and day

My version was better!

Who's Joe?

Hey Joe what you're having? It seems they've got our order wrong There's a crack in my glass passed over And it looks like it's going to be long You've got eyes like an old piss head They cry tears to the Barman at night

Hey Joe Hey Joe Hey Joe What are your gonna have?

I got you one in I'll get yer pissed What ever you want When ever you're ready I've got this round in Whatever you want (Whatever you want)

I got you one in I'll get yer pissed What ever you want When ever you're ready I've got this round in Whatever you want (Whatever you want)

Hey Joe what you're having? They say you don't drink shorts anymore You had your glass broke by a barmaid Now it won't hold booze anymore She said that you had it coming That it was chipped from the start

Hey Joe Hey Joe Hey Joe Time to go home

I got you one in I'll get yer pissed What ever you want When ever you're ready I've got this round in Whatever you want (Whatever you want)

I got you one in I'll get yer pissed What ever you want When ever you're ready I've got this round in Whatever you want (Whatever you want) Whatever you want (Whatever you want) Whatever you want (Whatever you want) Whatever you want (Whatever you want) Whatever you want (Whatever you want) Whatever you want (Whatever you want)

DRAFTY Dum,de,dum,dummm,dumba,diba,dum....da da dum de dum dum dum dum dadum... Some spirits are harsh at the break of day Gotta get a beer,to keep the shakes at bay Puking in me mam's hat,lightening the load Listenening to her call me a drunken stinking toad.

Just give me one more ale! Give me a miller lite! I need a solid shite.. I don't remember what its like... I'll say it one last time! I've gotta get you pissed I know you'll be trolleyed then I know you just can't resist

You gotta look at ale the way it ought be Looking at the ceiling from underneath me There's a bar inside and a bar out there But with that bottle of Glenfidich you just don't care.. We got vodka wars and killing too.....all drunk down and I have no solid stools!

And this is where I wanna pee..Pissed down an alley...

Just give us one more ale! gimme a diamond white I need a massive sesh.. This time it'll be the besht I say a proper all dayer get slaughtered one last time I've gotta let you know If I can change your tipple Will you suck my nipple....

nmc wrote:

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote: Superb

thanky, like I said, great inspiration was felt. :)

some excellent lines through these. Digital M. Beer Less, In a lovely Pub, Drunk Like us. etc.s and snazzy avatar. nmc Churn. classic SNORRI XX quality as usual. great idea spacejunk. heard 5-8-6 and Mr. Disco. ideas rattle around. EDIT to OUT 0F CONTROL Record player turning round and round could be the room the street the town.

5-8-6 See-ing the train 0n the schedule in front of me yes the tube is the way. Straight into Town to meet with the Company.

Did you see me walking (falling, dancing) Nearly walking (falling, dancing) I saw you Laughing. And we've got some Bruises. yes endless muses. Night was still young Night was still so very young.

From the distance Saw the fight that just might be saw them walking. saw the firm walking still fast drinking it was THE Company.

In the Future Let's try well harder. when it's so late Book the train well in advance. It could save some the time Caught in the rain. yes it makes most sense not caught in the rain Ooh yes it's drier warmer being on a train.

Drafty nice one Dude !

Kath wrote:

My version was better!

No reason why there shouldn't be more than one version...... after all Barney is constantly changing lyrics. Top thread by the way....Well Done All

Great stuff guys... If we're reserving tracks we're working on, then baggsy Dracula's Chaser and Beer To Stay...

Snorri xxx

I'm working on Vanishing Pint

Dracula’s Chaser

Is it time for beer? We haven't got all night Tell me it’s not WDK Blue Tell me it’s Miller Lite

There was a time I’d hit the town with you Get down on my knees cos I had to puke But you went to the bar and filled my glass With Dracula’s chaser instead of Harp

Now I’ve gotta tell you that it's your round I want you to pay but you've not got a pound Don’t beat at pool or you'll get a smack You’re yellows (Don't pot the black)

So goodbye pub What a great night You came to talk But now you fight I can’t stand straight Or remember my name The journey home Is the walk of shame

You can’t keep on boozing How much can one person drink You've got to work in the morning And you're going to stink

I work hard just to keep you fed with cider Every day you just keep getting wider In the end you took away my gin Left me alone (In the inn)

So goodbye pub What a great night You came to talk But now you fight I can’t stand straight Or remember my name The journey home Is the walk of shame

So goodbye pub What a great night You came to talk But now you fight I can’t stand straight Or remember my name The journey home Is the walk of shame

Snorri xxx

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote: I'm working on Vanishing Pint

Lyrics, or just making a Stella disappear?

Snorri xxx

Beer Today

Who is this barman Who gives me Becks This supid twat I want XXXX

This miserable sod Of human kind This cnut who rings the bell for time

Like the bright lights up on the ceiling Drinking so much, they'll send you reeling They'll give you the taste, get you shit-faced But then they'll remove part of your brain

Like the bright lights up on the ceiling Drinking so much, they'll send you reeling They'll send you reeling, they'll send you reeling They'll send you reeling, reeling, reeling

This fresh-poured cider Yet to be tasted This tenth Budweiser Will get you wasted

Your good health which I toasted When you bought a bag of dry-roasted

Like the bright lights up on the ceiling Drinking so much, they'll send you reeling They'll give you the taste, get you shit-faced But then they'll remove part of your brain

Like the bright lights up on the ceiling Drinking so much, they'll send you reeling They'll send you reeling, they'll send you reeling They'll send you reeling, reeling, reeling

Give me beer today Give me beer today Give me beer today Give me beer today

Like the bright lights up on the ceiling Drinking so much, they'll send you reeling They'll send you reeling, they'll send you reeling They'll send you reeling, reeling, reeling

Snorri xxx

I like to play at this, but I feel crappy with English songs... sad Jiphy... If only they had a song in French...

I would like to add that you are very entertaining and funny with your 'covers'

Vanishing Pint !

Throw up Dude, don't you suffer Don’t think you can’t handle another If you like a sleeping demon Listen I can you hear him puking Tears of joy and tears of sorrow He buys buy’s booze to drink tomorrow

My life ain't no Happy Hour I've drank past the point of no return I've seen what a man sup I've seen the gin in mother’s cup

Feel your heartbeat lose the rhythm Have a short to kick the beat in Whisky is a short, and Stellas strong Here have some dope that I have scored And if you smoke you'll find it hard When the gaffer say’s “ your barred”

My life ain't no Happy Hour I've drank past the point of no return I've seen what a man can sup I've seen the gin in mother’s cup

And we pissed it all away Like in 'Whistle Down The Wind' By the look your face You want a lock in

Snorri xxx

WINO (a.k.a. Beerdo)

The other day I came across Someone I knew and he was sloshed I can't believe how much he'd drunk I don't think I could beat him But it's a pub that's made for me Where all the beer's completely free As long as I can end up legless What's it got to do with you, shitface?

Piss in the ocean or the sea Piss on the fire that burns in me Someone like you can never see Why I can't have a beer or three Fuck Billy Ocean and Ice-T The Arcade Fire and Kenny G Someone like you can never see Why I can't have a beer or three

[HIC!!]

Piss in the ocean or the sea Piss on the fire that burns in me Someone like you can never see Why I can't have a beer or three Fuck Billy Ocean and Ice-T The Arcade Fire and Kenny G Someone like you can never see Why I can't have a beer or three

[BUUURRRP!!]

I bought another pint of Becks And threw it down until I retched I don't care how much I've drunk You never would forgive me I know I need a helping hand To guzzle down this hundredth can But when I crash down on the floor Just leave me be you cunt!

Fuck Billy Ocean and Ice-T The Arcade Fire and Kenny G Someone like you can never see Why I can't have a beer or three

[HIC....HIC.....BURRRP!!]

Outstanding Dude!

The Him

Some days you drink your life away These times I find no words to say A crate of Stella I drank filled me Too much of the Barmaids skimpy top I saw through Only when lock in's have no reason They're for you to get pissed all night long

Small bottle opened, and dropped on the floor I need another to fill the glass to the brim White froth, black liquid in me A GUINESS, so plain my eyes see This is the reason that I came here To be so near to such a paddy as you

I'm so pissed, I'm so pissed

Senses

Here I am in a pub full of lager but no Stella Served a pint that is grey like the stain on my windows This pint takes the piss, such a weak companion Inside of me

It's just something I know, the % by volume's not there It's weak i know and it bloats me It's just something I know, the % by volume's not there It's weak i know and it bloats me

This feeling inside me, I think I'm gonna barf To fall down on my knees, Just give me a half Believe me, Fosters is not what i need

Inside of me

It's another story, some of it is blurred I tried to pull the barmaid, I tried so hard "Time Gentleman" was up on us at ten to three Inside the pub. Inside the pub

Time Gentleman" was upon us Inside the pub, inside my gut Inside the pub, inside my gut

ATLAS BEER (a.k.a. ATLAS BAR)

Drink....in silence Drink my life away....in silence Drink with a stranger Drink for danger Endless boozing And imbibing Just drink away.....

[HIC!!]

Drink....in silence Drink your life away....in silence Inebriation Constipation Then piss your life down the pan It puts the years on your face Just drink away.....

[HIC!!]

Winos like you find it easy Far too much cash To throw away Pissing in the gutter Puke on the streets Every bar drunk dry too soon You've lost half your brain Just drink away, in silence Just drink away......

[HIC!!! HIC!! BUUURRRP!!]

THE PERFECT PISS

I got pissed without my wife Drinking beer with the fellas, Then came by a girl so fine, Suggested we start with Stellas Then I knew it from her fart, This girl so fine was off the charts Pretending not to see my mates, She said "let's get pissed and have some fun" I drink, you pour, beer is God’s drink up above I drink, you pour, beer is God’s drink up above

I had always been cheap, drinking stout But tonight it was my turn to shout Went to have a piss alone, This girl so fine rubbed my bone Next I knew I was home in bed, It was all a dream inside my head Pretending not to see my wife, Standing above with a kitchen knife I drink, you pour, beer is God’s drink up above I drink, you pour, beer is God’s drink up above

Superb stuff, guys!

Snorri xxx

Love Vigilantes

Oh I've just come From a pub called The Sun From a Bar that was fun In the name of Booze With our Dart's Team all the rave Need double top, "Don't miss Deve!" With our Arrows and flights And some help from Rod I want to stand on the Oche A pint of Stella waiting for me I've got to checkout I need 161, you see

You just can't believe The Stella I did recieve When I finally got my double And I tripped by the bar Oh I flew through the sky my mates, started laughing till they cried For my mates I would die And I will see get them back soon I want to stand on the Oche A pint of Stella waiting for me I've got to checkout I need 161, you see

When I walked through the door My wife she lay upon the floor And she said her lips were sore I did not know why Then I looked into her hand And I saw the Stella bottle She said that was a horny, horny bitch But that she had cum I want to stand on the Oche A pint of Stella waiting for me I've got to checkout I need 161, you see

My favourite NO song, Mike... And you've done it justice...

Snorri xxx

Cheers Dave :)

Jiphy wrote: ..Jiphy. If only in French...

salut M. Jiphy! :) universal M. Disco. How it could it be forgotten. But the fare is steep from England. The Holiday that was planned that week never happened the way that people speak.

They tried. Lots did try and did travel. tell how it turned all carnival. They tried and lots did travel. Tell me how it turned carnival.

we can't find our piece of mind Find being thirsty all the time ha(r)d drugs and Drink both night and day Forgot to eat. didn't matter either(any) way.

Ooh did most things No we did most things (walked laughed shagged and danced)and still wore our rings!

Maybe we could write those letters And say the things that really matter. Our rendevous was such a pleasure The memories (have no measure) err will live forever. All tried + and lots did travel wait for it... Black Label, Guiness and Stella too. They serve most Draught and Bottles right to you.

someone SNORRI XX could use fixing and cleaning up her. missing 'When it happens and Can you hear me deep inside From.. lines.

Fucking Hell Shug, that's upped the Ante , nice one Dude ! :D

Pints & Mixers

Pissed up on Stella this day I need a fight Outside the Nag's Head lies another sacrifice Ten pints of beer, we're always here, we never stay indoors As they chucked us out, we began to shout and collapsed on the floor

All night benders, back home we never returned Left in the gutter I puked but never learned That bird, you had, you know she's the local slag Next time please think, before you pull when you've had a drink In the Grapes another XXXX, oh fuck it give me any beer In the mind of a drunken man, an easy lay and a large kebab Chips for you and me, burger with cheese, you shout with all your force Hassan wraps you food, you have been rude, so you've got special sauce

One day in a pub we even ordered a bit of grub Some day, I heard, you drank ten pints of Kronenberg That bird, you had, you know she's the local slag Next time please think, before you pull when you've had a drink One day in a pub we even ordered a bit of grub Some day, I heard, you drank ten pints of Kronenberg That bird, you had, you know she's the local slag

Snorri xxx

Lock In Tonight :D

I throw up in the street I look into your eyes I'm pleasant when we meet I'm pissed when we go home How many stellas more Could you tell It was a dare When you poured your drink over me You miserable fucking mare You believe in sobriety The sober life is not for me A lager that is chilled Means my glass will be filled

Do you believe in truth? Told pissed up on the roof A crate we call our own Beside a Garden Gnome How many times before Could you tell I was your fella When you reached out in your sleep And i was clinging to my stella My eyes reveal I'm stoned How the fuck will i get home How many times before Did I knock the wrong front door

5 8 6 pounds

I see fat chicks. fat chicks, fat chicks, fat chicks And I do abhor Sent by pricks On my bucks night Straight away we ran from them I heard them calling And we heard them screeching I heard them fawning Yes, we heard their moaning

Suffocation Suffocation, death by large girls Not to distant Turn your back and run for life Heard them rumbling Yes, we heard them coming Heard them coming Yes, we heard their groaning

If those heifers Catch any good friend of mine Take a photo While he’s down And we tried to save him Yes, we tried to save him We did save him Yes, we did save him

On the corner Catch our breath inside the bar I’ll have one quick pint It’s so good for the heart The earth is shaking Yes, the earth is shaking They’re approaching Yes, We herd them, herd them, herd them, earth is shaking

Can you herd them faraway All those pogs of thousand weight Can you herd them faraway All those pogs of thousand weight Oh, can you herd them faraway From these pubs just for beer Can you hear us calling moo Can you hear us calling moo Can you hear us calling moo Can you hear us calling moo

Oh putaing ! I prefer this one to the original !!! Great work Mike !

edit : sorry Spacejunk I was talking about Mike's cover of Lonesome tonight.

But yours is good as well.

Just that Lonesome Tonight is one of my least favourite and thanks to Mike I suddendly like this song. I think I will swap the true lyrics for his and for ever until now !

14 K wrote: salut M. Jiphy! :) universal M. Disco. How it could it be forgotten.

Chère Quatorze mille. I was considering playing with this one. As you mentioned it, our rendez-vous was such a pleasure that memories will live forever - even if a bit blurred. Having drugs and beer together, night and day, do not help to have full memory of the event (well, for the drugs, I did not take the hard ones - I faked it because you always have to be the Ian of someone if a lady loses control). That is why I cannot remember exactly the colour of your hair. So, if you want me to write these letters, help me to remember if they were : wittbier (bière blanche), lager, pils, ale, ginger or stout ?

Jiphy wrote:

14 K wrote: salut M. Jiphy! :) international M. Disco. How it could it be forgotten.

Chère Quatorze mille. I was considering playing with this one. As you mentioned it, our rendez-vous was such a pleasure that memories will live forever - even if a bit blurred. pils, ale, ginger or stout ?

café. ? bon soir Jiphy! laughed to tears with your nicknames those weeks ago. of Jean Pierre this non. Jean François ou Jean Paul that non, je prendrai celui-ci ce matin cette semaine ceux-ci ou ceux-là. with the colleagues then the politeness on the street w/ foreigners. perfect french. hijackover..

Pull My Pint ( Turn my Way )

Take my glass And don't let go I’ll have a Stella So let it flow

Don't go into town Stay in this Drum In Stella I’ll Drown Fall on my Bum The Rocket Mick Dance Was seen by Chance He turns my way Don’t know if he’s Gay

I don't wanna drink at another boozers Bar Don't wanna drink Shorts or dry Cider Don't wanna go home like other people do I want a lock in, I want it with you

Take my glass And don't let go I’ll have a Stella So let it flow

I drank in every bar in town I filled my cup when I was down I saw Sky Sports on the Telly With the gaffer sat next to me But then somehow a penalty was missed I thought Fuck It, I’m gonna get pissed

I don't wanna drink at another boozers Bar Don't wanna drink Shorts or dry Cider Don't wanna go home like other people do I want a lock in, I want it with you

I don't wanna drink at another boozers Bar Don't wanna drink Shorts or dry Cider Don't wanna go home like other people do I want a lock in, I want it with you

I don't wanna drink at another boozers Bar Don't wanna drink Shorts or dry Cider Don't wanna go home like other people do I want a lock in, I want it with you

I don't wanna drink at another boozers Bar Don't wanna drink Shorts or dry Cider I get in at night, or when it's light I went to the chippy, Don’t think my change is right

Don’t think my change is right Don’t think my change is right Don’t think my change is right Don’t think my change is right Don’t think my change is right

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote:

Oh I've just come From a pub called The Sun

Quality!

JETSTREAM

I Can’t wait My beer will be arriving shortly Right next to my plate I pray that it will be nice and chilled for me

This pub could be what We've both been searching for Our whole lives getting pissed up And coming back for more

(Leave your car, you won't need it tonight, enjoy your drink)

B-A-R (B-A-R) You prop me up you see (You prop me up you see) You know I want another You're getting me pissed you see (Just like I wanna be baby)

B-A-R (B-A-R) You prop me up you see (You prop me up you see) You know I want another You're getting me pissed you see (Just like I wanna be baby)

We're so drunk I'm watching all the people laugh at me We should try It's been so long since I have been dry

Long-Live-Stella I just can't get enough of you I need that beer glass filled It's gonna send me home to snooze

B-A-R (B-A-R) You prop me up you see (You prop me up you see) You know I want another You're getting me pissed you see (Just like I wanna be baby)

B-A-R (B-A-R) You prop me up you see (You prop me up you see) You know I want another You're getting me pissed you see (Just like I wanna be baby)

You stella should be Inside me

B-A-R (B-A-R) You prop me up you see (You prop me up you see) You know I want another You're getting me pissed you see (Just like I wanna be baby)

B-A-R (B-A-R) You prop me up you see (You prop me up you see) You know I want another You're getting me pissed you see (Just like I wanna be baby)

You prop me up you see (You prop me up you see) You're getting me pissed you see (Just like I wanna be baby)

But you’ve run dry But you’ve run dry No stock control No stock control Put it right Put it right Place an order now Place an order now

And for the remix:

B-R-A, show me those 38ees today...

Snorri xxx

Act Of Libation

You can't stand, and you can't walk You can't even really talk I went out on the lash And I spent all of my cash My brother drank ten Newcy Browns I saw his pace and bought a round Can I scrounge another fag And a fiver for a ke-bab

'Cause it's the act of libation, act of libation That's causing our damnation Yes, it's the act of libation, act of libation That's causing our damnation Oh, the act of libation, act of libation Is causing intoxication Oh, the act of libation, act of libation It's causing strange senastions

From my home I walked on down I went in the Rose & Crown When they called time, I felt far from fine 'Cause no more booze is such a crime I can't find my front door key And I really need a pee If I can't get in, then what the hell, I'll just sleep in the garden

'Cause it's the act of libation, act of libation That's causing our damnation Yes, it's the act of libation, act of libation That's causing our damnation Oh, the act of libation, act of libation Is causing intoxication Oh, the act of libation, act of libation It's causing strange senastions

Act of libation Act of libation Act of libation Act of libation Act of libation Act of libation Act of libation Act of libation

Even now, I'm all alone Cuddling my garden gnome I think about how we got wrecked And all the pints that we had necked I know it all will be ok Even though I've blown my pay Now my toes they start to freeze The act of libation will never cease

'Cause it's the act of libation, act of libation That's causing our damnation Yes, it's the act of libation, act of libation That's causing our damnation Oh, the act of libation, act of libation Is causing intoxication Oh, the act of libation, act of libation It's causing strange senastions

Snorri xxx

No STOCK Control Some great lyrics here even from SHUG

Your Silent Pub

A pub décor that never changes Remains a stupid sight It's always been the same No furnishings or painting No pool table, no darts Just stella

Rise and fall of the darts team Second league we now remain We asked you what you'd seen You said it weren’t Phil Taylor

Stella from a vacuum pump May give me a great time It's always been ahead of the game No Fosters or Carling No Kronie no becks Just Stella

The fifth rounds on the way The pace you cannot take You've caught me on form this time So why don't we get pissed up

Superb stuff Dave :D

Likewise, Mike...

Snorri xxx

don't have a sip of my Stella

Now all we need is those Community dudes to cover the chosen NO songs with the preferred lyrics.....

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote: Senses

Here I am in a pub full of lager but no Stella Served a pint that is grey like the stain on my windows This pint takes the piss, such a weak companion Inside of me

It's just something I know, the % by volume's not there It's weak i know and it bloats me It's just something I know, the % by volume's not there It's weak i know and it bloats me

This feeling inside me, I think I'm gonna barf To fall down on my knees, Just give me a half Believe me, Fosters is not what i need

Inside of me

It's another story, some of it is blurred I tried to pull the barmaid, I tried so hard "Time Gentleman" was up on us at ten to three Inside the pub. Inside the pub

Time Gentleman" was upon us Inside the pub, inside my gut Inside the pub, inside my gut

Hang on mate...you got the wrong song title for this one...shouldn't it be "DENIAL"?

As in "(In) Denial (Of being Drunk And Disorderly)" ???

Digital Mike -The People's Moderator wrote: Your Silent Pub

A pub décor that never changes Remains a stupid sight It's always been the same No furnishings or painting No pool table, no darts Just stella

Rise and fall of the darts team Second league we now remain We asked you what you'd seen You said it weren’t Phil Taylor

Stella from a vacuum pump May give me a great time It's always been ahead of the game No Fosters or Carling No Kronie no becks Just Stella

The fifth rounds on the way The pace you cannot take You've caught me on form this time So why don't we get pissed up

^^ Now that one is understated Class!!!!!

Just one thing, is it true that you've now mentioned "Stella" in every single one of your entries on this thread???

Hang on mate...you got the wrong song title for this one...shouldn't it be "DENIAL"?

I was pissed HIC !

Well spotted though

Waiting For The Stella To Pour

Which beer shall I sample next London Pride or maybe Becks Waiting for the Stella to pour I've never drunk it here before

The pub's doing a roaring trade Serving beer and snacks today Drinking, fighting, playing pool Pulling birds and looking cool

We all want some drunken love But the girls are often rough From the bar, out to the bog With a stranger have a snog

I won't start on you I don't know what to think I really hurt you I nearly spilled your drink

I've messed it all up Cause you were pretty half-cut And I don't know where to drink when the pub's shut When the pub's shut

Gotta catch last orders time Order two more lager'n'lime And a bag of salted nuts All before the bar is shut

Drinking time is flying by My head is spinning all the while Get a round, play some darts Play the fruity, pull some tarts

All the beers and all the cigs The stag party in 70s wigs Could never be as pissed as us But will pick a fight with us

I won't start on you I don't know what to think I really hurt you I nearly spilled your drink

I've messed it all up Cause you were pretty half-cut And I don't know where to drink when you're shut When you're shut

I won't start on you I don't know what to think I really hurt you I nearly spilled your drink

I've messed it all up Cause you were pretty half-cut And I don't know where to drink when you're shut When you're shut

How many times must I spill my beer, dear How many words do I have to slur, girl What can I do to get chips and pitta To have to eat with my pint of My pint of bitter

Snorri xxx

It doesn't take a lot to confuse me I can drink like a fish anytime And I'd like to say to those who surround me Could you do it while you looked in my eye

If you hold on primitive notion And if you think you'd like to try You can drink this magic potion And you can do it 'til the day that you die

I've drunk it before and I'll do it again A pint of Stella that I’ll drink 'til the end How can it be that you're so far apart Does my breath already smell like a fart ?

I'm doing my best to impress you Even if you can smell me from a mile Not even a gas mask would protect you Don't look at me with your critical smile

Well I've been drinking in the wrong pub I admit it and with no pride Their beer tasted like out of a bath-tub And my loneliness is the reason I tried

I've drunk it before and I'll do it again A pint of Stella that I’ll drink 'til the end How can it be that you're so far apart Does my breath already smell like a fart ?

I've drunk it before and I'll do it again A pint of Stella that I’ll drink 'til the end How can it be that you're so far apart Does my breath already smell like a fart ?

Now I've got much gas I need to be out It's coming very fast straight from my throat I wanted to see what's been inside of me I wanted to be like I was at the start

spacejunk wrote: to cover the chosen NO songs with the preferred lyrics.....

DIGITAL M. might you have a running total or tally of the BREW- MONDAY and SHED -alternates Monaco Joy Division options skim on by. Some terrific classics through everyone's latest.