Online pick ups

inspired by stories from this weekend

Not before meeting her in person.

Used to on a regular basis.....then my life took a massive turn for the better when I met (at work, not online) the woman who became my wife.

I didn't mean it.

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: I didn't mean it.

who said I was talking about YOU!!!

:p

the albino bird standing in the shadows then?

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Who said it was a bird?

a dalmation, minus spots?

Diamond White wrote: Not before meeting her in person.

You stole my line!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now technically you can't see my tongue! I still think you're lying! Anyway I was drunk, you took advantage!

I thought it said One line pick ups.

El Jarvo wrote: Isn't everyone shagging everyone else here?

I had no idea!!!

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: I always try, I always miss...

sad...ain't it???

Foreign F**kwitt wrote:

Diamond White wrote: Not before meeting her in person.

You stole my line!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good lord. Looks like something from a George Romero movie. Which one is getting bitten?

Well Maya's the one with her gob open, so I'd say me!

I don;t think it's crossed my mind at a gig gathering or gig, NO or otherwise, I get VERY single minded about music. While I'm a proper pervert day to day, when good tunes are invloved I turn into a feckin eunoch.

Doctor? wrote: I don;t think it's crossed my mind at a gig gathering or gig, NO or otherwise, I get VERY single minded about music. While I'm a proper pervert day to day, when good tunes are invloved I turn into a feckin eunoch.

fuckinell Ste. give your dick a prod mate. see if its still attached to your sack.

Who hasn't

J.A.K wrote:

Doctor? wrote: I don;t think it's crossed my mind at a gig gathering or gig, NO or otherwise, I get VERY single minded about music. While I'm a proper pervert day to day, when good tunes are invloved I turn into a feckin eunoch.

fuckinell Ste. give your dick a prod mate. see if its still attached to your sack.

LOL...hey I said at GIGS! it's a good thing too, there's some very pretty ladies around here, I could become almost as big a sex pest as Colin.

Doctor? wrote:

J.A.K wrote:

Doctor? wrote: I don;t think it's crossed my mind at a gig gathering or gig, NO or otherwise, I get VERY single minded about music. While I'm a proper pervert day to day, when good tunes are invloved I turn into a feckin eunoch.

fuckinell Ste. give your dick a prod mate. see if its still attached to your sack.

LOL...hey I said at GIGS! it's a good thing too, there's some very pretty ladies around here, I could become almost as big a sex pest as Colin.

hah don't pay attn to Kershaw he trolls everywhere!

been there, done it, toooooo many times...

Burt Reynolds wrote: been there, done it, toooooo many times...

Show off

I have only SLEPT with DIGGY MIKE.Thought i would just shed some light on the matter.

NICK KING-remember NEWORDEROFFLINE?Oh how WE laughed.Who writes the bloody scripts though?

ROCKET MICK wrote: I have only SLEPT with DIGGY MIKE.Thought i would just shed some light on the matter.

got any photos?

nope.

I have only SLEPT with DIGGY MIKE.Thought i would just shed some light on the matter.

And I was second choice after some bird from Birkenhead

MIKE you HAVE to keep that QUIET.

Oh COME ON, like it's not obvious.

The longing stares, the furtive glances, the bum nipping (oh wait, that was Col)

Of course......

How else do you expect me to pay my bills

......get a JOB!

Minx wrote:

Of course......

How else do you expect me to pay my bills

JEE-SUS!!! You get your bills paid?? There's like 3 NOOLERS about to get invoiced!! THIS IS YOUR NOTICE!

Not with you lot, I would

But I have a good feeling about the attractive supermodel I'm currently talking to online

Taboo # 7 wrote: Not with you lot, I would

But I have a good feeling about the attractive supermodel I'm currently talking to online

that is commonly known as stalking.

who knows what the future holds. a good friend is married to a brazilian he met online. they have been together for a number of years now.

obviously they met and found they were compatiable.

NOOLigan wrote: who knows what the future holds. a good friend is married to a brazilian he met online. they have been together for a number of years now.

obviously they met and found they were compatiable.

I guess I more meant if you'd use it to get laid rather than to find love

C-Ro wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: who knows what the future holds. a good friend is married to a brazilian he met online. they have been together for a number of years now.

obviously they met and found they were compatiable.

I guess I more meant if you'd use it to get laid rather than to find love

i don't think they had anything that serious in mind when they met up.

well i'd still have to see the other person first and they me.

Well, what about someone you know face-to-face that you talk to online? If you know what they look like (and not that they send you a picture of someone else but that you actually meet them and know for a fact what they look like), would you be more inclined to chat with them online (via AIM or just regular chat, et al.)?

Taboo # 7 wrote: Well, what about someone you know face-to-face that you talk to online? If you know what they look like (and not that they send you a picture of someone else but that you actually meet them and know for a fact what they look like), would you be more inclined to chat with them online (via AIM or just regular chat, et al.)?

i chat online with some of my oldest friends as well as some who i've yet to meet in person and some who i may never actually see in the flesh.

but we digress this topic is about meeting someone you've met on the net just for sex. a big no to that.

As soon as I can figure out how to slip my floppy into a girl's slot, I'll register a vote.

NOOLigan wrote: a big no to that.

I second that. How can one desire sex without having seen the actual body of sex object?

Taboo # 7 wrote: Not with you lot, I would

But I have a good feeling about the attractive woolens supermodel I'm currently talking to online

Baaaaaa!

Personally, I prefer the old-fashioned approach-- "find" her glove, and invite her back to my apartment so that I may return it to her.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: a big no to that.

I second that. How can one desire sex without having seen the actual body of sex object?

as long as the penis works why does it matter what the body looks like? hahahahha

C-Ro wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: a big no to that.

I second that. How can one desire sex without having seen the actual body of sex object?

as long as the penis works why does it matter what the body looks like? hahahahha

ahm, so when do you want to meet up?

Minx wrote:

Of course......

How else do you expect me to pay my bills

Oh my....

Shall that be check or charge?

Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Shame

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Shame

why? just because something isn't your cup of tea. live and let live.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Shame

Shame on those people who go online to find dates?

Or shame on sex addicts?

Either way, judge not, lest ye be judged. That's my philosophy.

Shed Peel wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Shame

Shame on those people who go online to find dates?

Or shame on sex addicts?

Either way, judge not, lest ye be judged. That's my philosophy.

Sex addicts. Really like dirty shaggy animals!

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Shed Peel wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Shame

Shame on those people who go online to find dates?

Or shame on sex addicts?

Either way, judge not, lest ye be judged. That's my philosophy.

Sex addicts. Really like dirty shaggy animals!

as long as it is mutual, not illegal and doesn't harm anybody, i don't have a problem.

there is something on the telly now about a man who dated 15 women at the same time. he kept it secret from them all. now that is just wrong.

SEX RELIEF:

In a near future there will be sex booths everywhere - you feel an urge for sex - here's a booth where you're a few buttons away from the greatest sexual euphoria: a wire to touch your genitalia and a wire to touch your heart or brain. All possible fantasies will come true in your mind. After you're done - go on shopping or pick a kid from school. Such booths must be everywhere and they must excel a real poor sex act between two exhausted gray bodies.

One of the greatest energies in this world is used to chase the opposite sex to have a shag. And for what? So after a number of heavy motions, breathless, drenched in sweat, you'd be done?

So the released energy can be used for so many other things! Maybe it'd be a giant leap in the human progress because till now people are still bound to sex like apemen.

Advantages: less HIV, no prostitution, no sex maniacs, decreasing number of impoverted starving nations, tribes etc.

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: SEX RELIEF:

In a near future there will be sex booths everywhere - you feel an urge for sex - here's a booth where you're a few buttons away from the greatest sexual euphoria: a wire to touch your genitalia and a wire to touch your heart or brain. All possible fantasies will come true in your mind. After you're done - go on shopping or pick a kid from school. Such booths must be everywhere and they must excel a real poor sex act between two exhausted gray bodies.

One of the greatest energies in this world is used to chase the opposite sex to have a shag. And for what? So after a number of heavy motions, breathless, drenched in sweat, you'd be done?

So the released energy can be used for so many other things! Maybe it'd be a giant leap in the human progress because till now people are still bound to sex like apemen.

sounds good.

then again some of us do enjoy the old in and out the old fashioned way. nothing beats having a partner compatible in every way.

lol ......

well this certainly turned into a weird conversation

Cheesy Burek wrote:

Burt Reynolds wrote: been there, done it, toooooo many times...

Show off

Goths don't count

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Was I on it?

And BRF, yes they fucking do

my mates brother once let this girls tyre down in a car park outside a club. (he'd fancied her for ages) then when she came out (and despaired), he offered to help her put the spare on. he's still with her now.

J.A.K wrote: my mates brother once let this girls tyre down in a car park outside a club. (he'd fancied her for ages) then when she came out (and despaired), he offered to help her put the spare on. he's still with her now.

I dont know whether he's a genius or an idiot...?

Diamond White wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Was I on it?

And BRF, yes they fucking do

Even the vulnrable Emo ones?

It all sounds like a piece off piss now.What happened to the thrill of the chase?

Diamond White wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: Actually, on this subject, I saw a documentary about sex addicts who go online to find "dates".

I think the phrase "whatever floats your boat" comes to mind...

Was I on it?

I thought someone looked familiar....

Shed Peel wrote:

Minx wrote:

Of course......

How else do you expect me to pay my bills

Oh my....

Shall that be check or charge?

Don't worry Emma.... yours was on the house

I used to be with a girl from Zagreb until I dumped her in June. We met on the Q site forums and she also is a member here.

Sadly, she never made it over here and after 3 years of promises and lies, I'd had enough. She actually made out she had been in london since Nov 2005 so quite why she couldn't have seen me, I'll never know. Unless, of course, she was never there and was lying through her teeth

what a fine thread this has turned into. :D

steveone wrote:

J.A.K wrote: my mates brother once let this girls tyre down in a car park outside a club. (he'd fancied her for ages) then when she came out (and despaired), he offered to help her put the spare on. he's still with her now.

I dont know whether he's a genius or an idiot...?

Genius!

And possibly a bit of a stalker...

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: SEX RELIEF:

In a near future there will be sex booths everywhere - you feel an urge for sex - here's a booth where you're a few buttons away from the greatest sexual euphoria: a wire to touch your genitalia and a wire to touch your heart or brain. All possible fantasies will come true in your mind. After you're done - go on shopping or pick a kid from school. Such booths must be everywhere and they must excel a real poor sex act between two exhausted gray bodies.

I've heard of those Sex Booths. Mate of mine went in one.This bloke was coming out of it. "What does this do mate?"

This bloke sez,"Aww you wanna try this...it can do whatever a woman can do all for two quid!"

Fecking hell he though,I'll have a bit of that. Goes in the booth,puts his money in the slot.Sees this low level "hole" in the facing wall.So he shoved his dick in it. Took a couple of minutes to kick in,but when it did,he got this awful pain in his knob so he pulled it out. And blow me....there was a button sewn on the end of his knob!

The Orgasmatron. Been done.

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: The Orgasmatron. Been done.

Where can you use it?

In the future. Just go to sleep for a while, and when you wake....

Monty Does Dallas wrote:

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: SEX RELIEF:

In a near future there will be sex booths everywhere - you feel an urge for sex - here's a booth where you're a few buttons away from the greatest sexual euphoria: a wire to touch your genitalia and a wire to touch your heart or brain. All possible fantasies will come true in your mind. After you're done - go on shopping or pick a kid from school. Such booths must be everywhere and they must excel a real poor sex act between two exhausted gray bodies.

I've heard of those Sex Booths. Mate of mine went in one.This bloke was coming out of it. "What does this do mate?"

This bloke sez,"Aww you wanna try this...it can do whatever a woman can do all for two quid!"

Fecking hell he though,I'll have a bit of that. Goes in the booth,puts his money in the slot.Sees this low level "hole" in the facing wall.So he shoved his dick in it. Took a couple of minutes to kick in,but when it did,he got this awful pain in his knob so he pulled it out. And blow me....there was a button sewn on the end of his knob!

Speaking of holes in walls, how's this for some creative writing (by a friend of mine): old glory

Minx wrote:

Shed Peel wrote:

Minx wrote:

Of course......

How else do you expect me to pay my bills

Oh my....

Shall that be check or charge?

Don't worry Emma.... yours was on the house