My Housemate (O/T)

... is an absolute nonce and i hate him with a passion. It would take me far to long to list all the things he has done that piss me off so much. Right now he is bouncing off the walls downstairs shouting and singing to himself after spending the afternoon snorting coke. What an idiot.

Just had to get that off my chest.

Yeah, what's he singin, Wonderboy...? Or couldn't you even bear to listen? ;)

it seems to be in chinese, but keeps lapsing into "ha ha this a-way, ha ha that a-way"

I'm completely serious about this, its not a joke.

...and there's no way you could move out, Sgt. Major T....?

:(

Originally posted by janaki ...and there's no way you could move out, Sgt. Major T....?:(

In 2 and a half weeks i'll be back in sheffield and then in september i'll be living in stoke with my other two normal housemates. :D

oh, that's right. nearly forgot. :D

good for you, then...but what're you gonna do for the next 2.5 weeks?

and has he been like this the whole time? just how long have you been putting up with this crap?

Hit him over the head very hard with a shovel and bury the body in a cemetry the police will never think of looking there.

I've been putting up with this crap since september last year.

well, you've got far more patience than i think i'd ever have, that's for sure.

does he do the same sort of thing all the time, or is it varying levels of idiocy?

Originally posted by janaki well, you've got far more patience than i think i'd ever have, that's for sure. does he do the same sort of thing all the time, or is it varying levels of idiocy?

Basically he is a drug addict who is sponging off the government cos he hurt his head about 5 years ago and he plans to do nothing with his life. He lives off my food, takeaways and drugs. He is a constant annoyance. and before anyone asks why did we move in with him, he seemed normal at first!!

i have the same problem with my roommate. i feel your pain.

Originally posted by El Jarvo Monster > Originally posted by Sergeant Major Tarantino> He lives off my food, takeaways and drugs.

Er, am I the only one here who thinks this bloke actually sounds part-way coo-el?

Fuck off!!! try living with him for 10 seconds and you'll soon change your mind!

your roomie isn't an ex-Happy Monday, is he? ;)

Look at shaun ryder now, thats what my roomie will look like in 15 years or so.

Originally posted by Sergeant Major Tarantino Look at shaun ryder now, thats what my roomie will look like in 15 years or so.

Only 15 years? don't ya mean 15 months more like??

He's a student and he can afford Coke? That makes him a wanker.

Major, I feel your pain as well, as has been documented before, my flatmate is the biggest tosser I've ever met. A rude, arrogant, witless, whistling, oversized, posh, spoilt, home counties, ugly, boring, friendless, Spurs supporting loser.

An idea of what a loser he is: He bought one of his ex-uni mates to stay at our place, went out and got pissed, rolled in at 3 in the morning, and started playing Andrew Lloyd Webber duets with him on his crappy keyboard.

Give me your thieving druggie housemate any day.

Originally posted by El Jarvo Monster > Originally posted by Sergeant Major Tarantino> He lives off my food, takeaways and drugs.

Er, am I the only one here who thinks this bloke actually sounds part-way coo-el?

MAJOR i could always move in with you,he would leave as soon as i started going on about my collection and how KING CRIMSON are great. ROCKET FAWLTY TOWERS MICK

I had a roomie first semester of college who was into Phish....and nothing else. I went through his cd collection one day, apart from an Eric Clapton cd and maybe a tape of the Dead, all he had was Phish. It used to drive me nuts having to listen to his half-assed written songs in the style of Phish and pretend I liked them. God, what a wanker........

Originally posted by Seb Briggs He's a student and he can afford Coke? That makes him a wanker. Major, I feel your pain as well, as has been documented before, my flatmate is the biggest tosser I've ever met. A rude, arrogant, witless, whistling, oversized, posh, spoilt, home counties, ugly, boring, friendless, Spurs supporting loser. An idea of what a loser he is: He bought one of his ex-uni mates to stay at our place, went out and got pissed, rolled in at 3 in the morning, and started playing Andrew Lloyd Webber duets with him on his crappy keyboard.Give me your thieving druggie housemate any day.

Here is an example of how much of loser my house mate is: He DJ's drum and bass (really badly), and one night after a gig he invited the entire club back to the house for an all night party when he knew full well i had a very important exam at 9am the following morning. I didn't get to sleep until 7am. I failed the exam.

Don't let the bastard get you down! I lived with someone exactly like that at uni, who was also prone to violent outbursts. Last I heard he was living on his own in a shit hole, with no friends and no life. I'm sure a similar fate will meet your fella, whereas you will go on to live a charmed and happy life, once you have nowt more to do with the loser! :D

Originally posted by Sergeant Major Tarantino I'm completely serious about this, its not a joke.

It's not even funny :)

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 I had a roomie first semester of college who was into Phish....and nothing else. I went through his cd collection one day, apart from an Eric Clapton cd and maybe a tape of the Dead, all he had was Phish. It used to drive me nuts having to listen to his half-assed written songs in the style of Phish and pretend I liked them. God, what a wanker........

Trevor,

My best friend and I are attempting to start some sort of band and we decided to let our new friend Jeff in on it. He can't sing, can't play anything, has no sense of anykind of rythym, but he and his girlfriend are apparently writing music and lyrics for us in the style of...you guessed it, Phish. I had to sit down and watch Phish documentaries, and rehearse Phish songs (as if there is any chance in hell that I'm going to play that crap), and listen to his ideas for our band. As in "Phish does this, we should too. Phish is cool, I like Phish. Blah Blah Blah Phish" What a lame-fuck!! What's more is that his funk-ridden hippy wannabe girlfriend has taken it upon herself to find no talent sax, tenor sax, baritone sax, banjo and bongo-drum playing losers. Anyway, none of these people are my roommates, thank God. So I really have no point, other than that Phish sucks.

Talking of Marillion, the guy I sit by at works obsessed by them. freak.

Originally posted by Major Tarantino > Originally posted by Seb Briggs> He's a student and he can afford Coke? That makes him a wanker. > > Major, I feel your pain as well, as has been documented before, my flatmate is the biggest tosser I've ever met. A rude, arrogant, witless, whistling, oversized, posh, spoilt, home counties, ugly, boring, friendless, Spurs supporting loser. > > An idea of what a loser he is: He bought one of his ex-uni mates to stay at our place, went out and got pissed, rolled in at 3 in the morning, and started playing Andrew Lloyd Webber duets with him on his crappy keyboard.> > Give me your thieving druggie housemate any day.

Here is an example of how much of loser my house mate is: He DJ's drum and bass (really badly), and one night after a gig he invited the entire club back to the house for an all night party when he knew full well i had a very important exam at 9am the following morning. I didn't get to sleep until 7am. I failed the exam.

very inconsiderate...i hope he is not your roomie next year...

Originally posted by Jim Giliberto > Originally posted by Major Tarantino > Originally posted by Seb Briggs> He's a student and he can afford Coke? That makes him a wanker. > > Major, I feel your pain as well, as has been documented before, my flatmate is the biggest tosser I've ever met. A rude, arrogant, witless, whistling, oversized, posh, spoilt, home counties, ugly, boring, friendless, Spurs supporting loser. > > An idea of what a loser he is: He bought one of his ex-uni mates to stay at our place, went out and got pissed, rolled in at 3 in the morning, and started playing Andrew Lloyd Webber duets with him on his crappy keyboard.> > Give me your thieving druggie housemate any day.

Here is an example of how much of loser my house mate is: He DJ's drum and bass (really badly), and one night after a gig he invited the entire club back to the house for an all night party when he knew full well i had a very important exam at 9am the following morning. I didn't get to sleep until 7am. I failed the exam.

very inconsiderate...i hope he is not your roomie next year...

He's not. Thank god. :D

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 I had a roomie first semester of college who was into Phish....and nothing else. It used to drive me nuts having to listen to his half-assed written songs in the style of Phish and pretend I liked them. God, what a wanker........

What is Phish

Originally posted by The Hacienda must be (re)Built > Originally posted by Taboo # 7> I had a roomie first semester of college who was into Phish....and nothing else. It used to drive me nuts having to listen to his half-assed written songs in the style of Phish and pretend I liked them. God, what a wanker........

What is Phish

Grateful Dead-wannabes, I think, couldn't bear to find out for myself. But hey, the Ben and Jerry's ice cream that bears their name is pretty good at least.

WHY DID YOU PRETEND TO LIKE THEM? Rocket Mick :) Was he paying most of the rent...

Originally posted by Green > Originally posted by The Hacienda must be (re)Built > Originally posted by Taboo # 7> I had a roomie first semester of college who was into Phish....and nothing else. It used to drive me nuts having to listen to his half-assed written songs in the style of Phish and pretend I liked them. God, what a wanker........

What is Phish

Grateful Dead-wannabes, I think, couldn't bear to find out for myself. But hey, the Ben and Jerry's ice cream that bears their name is pretty good at least.

B&J's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream is one reason i am getting so fat.... that and the fact that i never move my arse apart from to post on here and open cans of beer and slim fast.

Originally posted by Major Tarantino ... is an absolute nonce and i hate him with a passion. It would take me far to long to list all the things he has done that piss me off so much. Right now he is bouncing off the walls downstairs shouting and singing to himself after spending the afternoon snorting coke. What an idiot. Just had to get that off my chest.

I was someones housemate once, poor fucker :D

I'll buy you a berr or 3 Jeff

:D :D

I got so fed up of Ben (thats his name by the way) nicking food out of my cupboard i have got my own back.

The one thing he does everyday is have at least one cup of tea. He always and i mean ALWAYS uses my teabags. So, i took my last three teabags and rubbed them all over my genitalia and put them back in my cupboard. This morning there are only two left.

Thankyou and goodnight. ;)

Originally posted by Major Tarantino :D :D I got so fed up of Ben (thats his name by the way) nicking food out of my cupboard i have got my own back. The one thing he does everyday is have at least one cup of tea. He always and i mean ALWAYS uses my teabags. So, i took my last three teabags and rubbed them all over my genitalia and put them back in my cupboard. This morning there are only two left. Thankyou and goodnight. ;)

LOL...Major I think you got a promotion to commando

Originally posted by Major Tarantino The one thing he does everyday is have at least one cup of tea. He always and i mean ALWAYS uses my teabags. So, i took my last three teabags and rubbed them all over my genitalia and put them back in my cupboard. This morning there are only two left. Thankyou and goodnight. ;)

Good for you, Wonderboy!!!! Marmite tea.....Mmmmm, nice...!!

that IS absolutely beautiful, Generalissimo T-ea!

silent revenge is often the best...

I will tell him on the day i leave...

"See ya ben, by the way the teabags you having been using for the last week have been on my shlong. Bye."

Originally posted by ShugZV 10 outa 10 fer el Wonderboy - seriously wicked stuff!Before you feck off - may I suggest a cuppa tea with laxatives - available from yer local chemist mate;)

Hmmmmm... might gove it a try....

I was looking forward to havin' a drink with u this weekend but now i am not so sure! Still never had a drink of tea in my life. Rocket Water is Cool Mick

Originally posted by Hank Wiseass©
Hit him over the head very hard with a shovel and bury the body in a cemetry the police will never think of looking there.

I'm sorry, but I laughed really hard at your reply! That was hilarious!

My way to get rid of him would be to lace his coke with some heroin and let him OD! :evil2:

Originally posted by Teabag Tarantino I will tell him on the day i leave..."See ya ben, by the way the teabags you having been using for the last week have been on my shlong. Bye."

Excellent!

Originally posted by Major Tarantino :D :D I got so fed up of Ben (thats his name by the way) nicking food out of my cupboard i have got my own back. The one thing he does everyday is have at least one cup of tea. He always and i mean ALWAYS uses my teabags. So, i took my last three teabags and rubbed them all over my genitalia and put them back in my cupboard. This morning there are only two left. Thankyou and goodnight. ;)

Ahh, memories ...

This kind of reminds me of the situation with my roommate during first semester. Now, I know not everyone's going to be exactly like me, but when I'm playing my music (especially if it's Kamar's radio program), do not blast your west coast rap shit over it, especially to the point in which I can't even hear what's coming from my computer's speakers. Then, there were the multiple girlfriends who would come by 4 nights a week and sleep with him, as I tried to sleep, 5 feet away from them. However, because I apparently found their "noise" funny, I had to knock myself out with Tylanol PM just to get to sleep and not laugh my ass off at their "dialogue." Aside from that, he continually rubbed in my face that he was richer and more good-looking than I am and went around to everyone else on our dorm floor to tell them how "weird" I was. Eventually, I became so pissed at him one night, I put on an old Metallica tape the night before he had a midterm and called a friend in New York that I hadn't talked to for a while. I was hoping he would do really poorly on his exam, but that didn't push him out. At the beginning of second semester, I got food poisoning and threw up for 5 hours, and that eventually got him to leave. The only other step would have been to spray all his stuff with purple hairspray, but now I don't need to sink to that level.

Originally posted by This blue-eyed boy that wants to be This kind of reminds me of the situation with my roommate during first semester. Now, I know not everyone's going to be exactly like me, but when I'm playing my music (especially if it's Kamar's radio program), do not blast your west coast rap shit over it, especially to the point in which I can't even hear what's coming from my computer's speakers. Then, there were the multiple girlfriends who would come by 4 nights a week and sleep with him, as I tried to sleep, 5 feet away from them. However, because I apparently found their "noise" funny, I had to knock myself out with Tylanol PM just to get to sleep and not laugh my ass off at their "dialogue." Aside from that, he continually rubbed in my face that he was richer and more good-looking than I am and went around to everyone else on our dorm floor to tell them how "weird" I was. Eventually, I became so pissed at him one night, I put on an old Metallica tape the night before he had a midterm and called a friend in New York that I hadn't talked to for a while. I was hoping he would do really poorly on his exam, but that didn't push him out. At the beginning of second semester, I got food poisoning and threw up for 5 hours, and that eventually got him to leave. The only other step would have been to spray all his stuff with purple hairspray, but now I don't need to sink to that level.

You could always set fire to his sheets while he sleeps. The hairspray should do the trick.

Nice one Major, I remember laughing at the teabag stunt, hopefully things have gotten better since those dodgy days. Nice to bring a thread back with postings from Janaki and Kim (frootijen)....

Originally posted by His Holiness, The Pope > Originally posted by This blue-eyed boy that wants to be> This kind of reminds me of the situation with my roommate during first semester. Now, I know not everyone's going to be exactly like me, but when I'm playing my music (especially if it's Kamar's radio program), do not blast your west coast rap shit over it, especially to the point in which I can't even hear what's coming from my computer's speakers. Then, there were the multiple girlfriends who would come by 4 nights a week and sleep with him, as I tried to sleep, 5 feet away from them. However, because I apparently found their "noise" funny, I had to knock myself out with Tylanol PM just to get to sleep and not laugh my ass off at their "dialogue." Aside from that, he continually rubbed in my face that he was richer and more good-looking than I am and went around to everyone else on our dorm floor to tell them how "weird" I was. Eventually, I became so pissed at him one night, I put on an old Metallica tape the night before he had a midterm and called a friend in New York that I hadn't talked to for a while. I was hoping he would do really poorly on his exam, but that didn't push him out. At the beginning of second semester, I got food poisoning and threw up for 5 hours, and that eventually got him to leave. The only other step would have been to spray all his stuff with purple hairspray, but now I don't need to sink to that level.

You could always set fire to his sheets while he sleeps. The hairspray should do the trick. why just torch the sheets when you can directly torch the guy; take a barbecue lighter w/ a long nozzle thing, light it up, and spray the hairspray to go through the flame and directly to the person's face. He'll have third degree burns in no time

Originally posted by Tristan Jayol > Originally posted by His Holiness, The Pope> > > > Originally posted by This blue-eyed boy that wants to be> > This kind of reminds me of the situation with my roommate during first semester. Now, I know not everyone's going to be exactly like me, but when I'm playing my music (especially if it's Kamar's radio program), do not blast your west coast rap shit over it, especially to the point in which I can't even hear what's coming from my computer's speakers. Then, there were the multiple girlfriends who would come by 4 nights a week and sleep with him, as I tried to sleep, 5 feet away from them. However, because I apparently found their "noise" funny, I had to knock myself out with Tylanol PM just to get to sleep and not laugh my ass off at their "dialogue." Aside from that, he continually rubbed in my face that he was richer and more good-looking than I am and went around to everyone else on our dorm floor to tell them how "weird" I was. Eventually, I became so pissed at him one night, I put on an old Metallica tape the night before he had a midterm and called a friend in New York that I hadn't talked to for a while. I was hoping he would do really poorly on his exam, but that didn't push him out. At the beginning of second semester, I got food poisoning and threw up for 5 hours, and that eventually got him to leave. The only other step would have been to spray all his stuff with purple hairspray, but now I don't need to sink to that level.>

You could always set fire to his sheets while he sleeps. The hairspray should do the trick. why just torch the sheets when you can directly torch the guy; take a barbecue lighter w/ a long nozzle thing, light it up, and spray the hairspray to go through the flame and directly to the person's face. He'll have third degree burns in no time I don't want to get expelled because of a worthless wanker.

This is why I don't have a roommmate anymore. I pay more-- way more-- rent than I can afford, but I don't have to deal with a lying, thieving, self-centered wanker when I come home, so on balance, things are much improved.

While he's not looking, you could replace his coke with some sort of powdered cleanser. You'd just be helping him to clean up his act. :D:D

Originally posted by Major Tarantino I will tell him on the day i leave..."See ya ben, by the way the teabags you having been using for the last week have been on my shlong. Bye."

brings new meaning to the term tea-baggin'. score.