what's the worst film you've ever seen?
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There's a pile of cack movies that I don't even remember. Hmm... one too many to choose. Try
Breakfast on Pluto.
Gotta be Cruise's War of the Worlds. As if you didn't know.
Mind you, the recent-ish version of The Time Machine comes pretty fucking close.
recently had to endure 'the devil wears prada' while on an aircraft.its like a bad version of 'working girl' (without getting to see melanie griffith in a baque).total rubbish ![]()
Lost in Translation - I couldn't believe the hype, I just sat there and thought, 'is that it?' and yes I know it's a certain type of film but I just didn't get it.
A true terrible classic from the 80's..........Pinball Summer. The best way I can think of for wasting time on a truly awfull movie. It must have gione straight too video upon release. Dammit I thought I'd put that film out of my mind...bugger :(
Independence Day was pretty awful, apart from the scene just after the aliens arrived, when the whole cinema audience cheered.

The Dukes Of Hazzard movie from 2005. What a load of crap. 
The great Boss Hogg is still spinning in his grave.
two of the worst films ive seen are Dantes Peak and vanilla sky. utter shite. unfortunately i was on a plane and couldnt escape
Too many to mention...
I'm struggling to think of some good films I've seen. Must be the mood I'm in ! ![]()
Doctor? wrote: Gotta be Cruise's War of the Worlds. As if you didn't know.
Mind you, the recent-ish version of The Time Machine comes pretty fucking close.
I don't know if it is terrible, but War of the World's is a totally pointless remake that is unbelievably boring for a film trying to have such a level of high tension with lots of explosions and computer monsters. Cruise can't play a sympathic character at all well, but Spielberg must be trying to imitate Kubrick's mistakes.
Of course, it is all subjective. I hate movies that so obviously panders to it's audience, giving all the cues so the viewer knows when to feel happy or sad or emotional so as to not surprise or challenge anybody and make them feel uncomfortable.
One movie I got to see in the theatre years ago that really stands out in memory is a horribly written remake of an old movie called Stella, with Bette Midler overacting absurdly to compensate. Pathetic to sit thru.
The Avengers I didn't mind the TV series but I Watched on 10 minutes of that s***e on television and changed the channel couldn't even be arsed even giving it a go. Pure s***e that one!![]()
Kill Bill Vol 1/2 Liked Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown but was Tarantino f***ed up with this made up as it went along pile of s***e. Was very disappointed and I'm glad I didn't buy it on DVD and 'The Bride's' escape from the grave after being buried alive as if!![]()
Interestingly they're both Uma Thurman films
Cheers!![]()
Burt Reynolds wrote: Independence Day was pretty awful, apart from the scene just after the aliens arrived, when the whole cinema audience cheered.
Yeah you can add that one to my list too - utter pish!
Now Mars Attacks now your talking
Cheers!![]()
Can't remember the title now, but its main character was someone who looked remarkably like Rocket Mick.............![]()
Too many to list really, but most recently....Blades of Glory and the Family Stone.....
But one that sticks in my mind is the more recent journey to the center of the earth, geologically they had soooo many things completely wrong it was stupid.....can't they afford at least one expert to help out with these things?????
So many to choose from...
Independence day was dire, not only the tiresome USA! USA! flag waving but also the bizarre way the alien mothership was apparently running MacOS with no firewall and didn't have any anti-virus software installed, not even the freeware kind.
Pretty Woman, got dragged into seeing that when the film we wanted to see was full. I had a whole alternative plot worked out, where Julia Roberts was the daughter of a guy who lost his job and killed himself thanks to Richard Gere's character's corporate raiding, and she was only getting close to him so she could brutally murder the bastard with an axe. I think that would have made for a much better film, very surprised the studio went for the sappy ending instead. (where the rich bastard gets to become the good guy while keeping all his ill-gotten loot.) Possibly the least realistic depiction of street prostitution ever.
The Exorcist, least scary, most ludicrous and over-rated film of all time. Honestly, the best the devil can manage is cheap sub-Paul-Daniels magic tricks like levitating beds and Monsieur Creosote style projectile vomiting? Complete amateur. Frankly the kid would probably have been in more danger from being alone with the priest, given recent scandals.
Any of Steven Spielberg's 'serious' films , all ghastly mawkish rubbish, (but not the Raiders films they were cool)
Alien 3 & 4. Not because they were awful, they weren't entirely bad, they had a few good ideas, but they were a disappointing waste of a good franchise.
Oh and there's some movie out now about some tiresome pop-star what killed himself, that sounds pretty dreadful, I shall be avoiding that (apparently they couldn't even afford to make it in colour!).
OH OH OH
I remember...anything my wife manages to pick up from the video store! The worst being....
Dog Soldiers....watched only 15 minutes of it before turning it off (and I ALWAYS finish a movie). What the hell was she thinking???![]()
The Fan (with Robert DeNiro & Wesley Snipes)
Should have been a fun action film, but ended up in dirge with two actors who should have known better to get involved with a script like this - avoid at all costs... :)
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Alan Paul Kitching wrote: The Avengers I didn't mind the TV series but I Watched on 10 minutes of that s***e on television and changed the channel couldn't even be arsed even giving it a go. Pure s***e that one!
Totally agree what a shite movie, I've tried to watch it twice and switched over on both occasions utter crap.
pumped full of drugs wrote:
Doctor? wrote: Gotta be Cruise's War of the Worlds. As if you didn't know.
Mind you, the recent-ish version of The Time Machine comes pretty fucking close.
I don't know if it is terrible, but War of the World's is a totally pointless remake that is unbelievably boring for a film trying to have such a level of high tension with lots of explosions and computer monsters. Cruise can't play a sympathic character at all well, but Spielberg must be trying to imitate Kubrick's mistakes.
He took the great novel of the English language, the almighty father of every film/tv show you ever seen with an alien in it, invading or otherwise....and turned it in to 90mins of an obnoxious wee girl screaming. A tale of "the oppressor getting oppressed" that if ANY country needed to hear... it's the US...and gave us a story where the fucking Marines defeat the Martians. EDIT: and W T F was all that with the red weed, it looks like the Martians were FEEDING it on the blood they'd extracted. WHY? how could that have been scarier or more cinegenic than seeing the Martians draining blood from living humans and injecting themselves with it while hooting happily. Likewise, what's with that PATHETIC main weapon on the fighting machines???? "ooooh thye just went "foop" into dust", yeah fucking terrifying, and certainly that much better than seeing a "ghost of a beam of light" turn everying it touches, people included, into an inferno, with a little "Whump" (to add to the shrieking of the heat ray generator and the whistling roar of it swishing this way and that through the air). Sigh. It's like he'd made Jaws with a lion fish....just as deadly...but shite and not scary.
Maybe if anyone involved had READ THE FUCKING BOOK? FFS it's only 180 pages. While we're at it..... In fact, he doesn't even fucking call them martians. It's set 100 years late. Wrong arrival method Wrong country Stupid "roswell retard" aliens. The frankly INSANE and CONFUSING hash-amalgomation of The Curate and The Artilleryman/Man From Putney Hill played by Tim Robbins.
I WILL kill him if I meet him, I am not kidding. I wept at the end of it, it was like paying to see the mona lisa but instead seeing a crude stick figure sketch of two dead dogs. I could go on and on, but I'll stop short and leave it at...EVERYTHING is wrong in it.
Except, the MARTIAN fighting machines, they are excellent, and probably the closest anyone has managed to Wells' description, with the possible exception of the harvester things in the first Matrix movie. The shot of one walking through the town near the start is amazing, it could be Weybridge or Shepperton in 1904, if it were not for straight roads, wooden houses[1] and fucking cars.
Funny you mention Kubrick in relation to this, I hadn't thought of that, Speilberg (does that not mean "playtown"?)/cruise/whoever, certainly managed to do to one Sci Fi bible, what Stanley did to another......LEAVE THE FUCKING STORY OUT! I mean could ANYONE fathom 2001 out if they had not read the book? A stunning movie certainly, and still one of only 2 real sci-fi movies I have seen (the other being 2010), still the best depiction of space ever.....but you've no bloody chance of working it out without Clarke's help. FFS he never named "Moonwatcher" in it, never did the rave scene round the monolith...and worst....worst of all....made HAL9000 appear like an evil murdering monster machine....wanker[2]!
Oddly, I loved Independence day the first time I seen it (despite the obvious "no, this isn't WOTW at all, it's a toally original story, no, honestly, it is" thing), possibly cos I thought much of it was a piss take. Second time round, the cold light of day showed it for the shite it is. As A.C.Clarke said..."how did they know the Aliens ran Windows95?"
[1] Why do so many yanks build houses from wood, then when a hurricane/tornado blows the fucker away, kids, dog, cat, granny and all....they act all surprised and pissed off. Perhaps the person responsible for setting building codes should read the 3 little pigs? [2] Partly cos I have a fondness for HAL, but mostly cos Clarke fucking hated the cliche "man's great creation turns against him" Frankenshite type of story, and as such wrote the whole HAL thing diametrically opposed to the way it appears in the movie.
Someone invited me to the premiere night of "the Age of Innocence." After 15-25 minutes, my date and I left the moviehouse and partied instead.
Indeed*!*
I would have to say "Alexander" I walked out halfway through it. Proof, like I needed it, that Colin Farrell cannot act.
and to think I could have seen "Ray" instead
Battlefield Earth...
John Travolta doing an L. Ron Hubbard book as a movie...
This should be all it takes to keep people out of Scientology...