what's the worst film you've ever seen?

404 error wrote: Pretty Woman, got dragged into seeing that when the film we wanted to see was full. I had a whole alternative plot worked out, where Julia Roberts was the daughter of a guy who lost his job and killed himself thanks to Richard Gere's character's corporate raiding, and she was only getting close to him so she could brutally murder the bastard with an axe. I think that would have made for a much better film, very surprised the studio went for the sappy ending instead. (where the rich bastard gets to become the good guy while keeping all his ill-gotten loot.) Possibly the least realistic depiction of street prostitution ever.

Ugh that film was the biggest pile of 'chick flick' toss ever. Typical middle-America and maybe they should've watched Band Of Gold to have seen what that life really is and how it should be done!

404 error wrote: The Exorcist, least scary, most ludicrous and over-rated film of all time. Honestly, the best the devil can manage is cheap sub-Paul-Daniels magic tricks like levitating beds and Monsieur Creosote style projectile vomiting? Complete amateur. Frankly the kid would probably have been in more danger from being alone with the priest, given recent scandals.

I preferred The Reposed LOL! I only got round to seeing this in 98/98 so never really saw the pirates but this is one of the most hyped and damp squib horror movies ever IMO. The special effects in this are laughable even for '70's standards and it only really got the reputation it did due to the religious controversy it courted.

404 error wrote: Alien 3 & 4. Not because they were awful, they weren't entirely bad, they had a few good ideas, but they were a disappointing waste of a good franchise.

You hit the nail on the head there. Should have really ended it all with Alien and Aliens but the 'Alien' franchise was such a rich cash cow it was inevitable that it was going to be milked. Alien 3 for me is a bit of a disappointment but having watched the DVD I know now it's more a victim of political infighting at Fox which resulted in 3 different directors either leaving, getting sacked or hired and in turn it creates a very disjointed film to watch. David Fincher does a reasonable job considering the infighting, lack of time and support from Fox he got but this almost destroyed his career until Se7en came along. Alien Resurrection is okay but again nothing really to write home about and a the plot of the genetically modified Ripley/Alien clone is a bit far fetched after Ripley fried herself in Alien 3.

404 error wrote: Oh and there's some movie out now about some tiresome pop-star what killed himself, that sounds pretty dreadful, I shall be avoiding that (apparently they couldn't even afford to make it in colour!).

Nick King wrote: The Fan (with Robert DeNiro & Wesley Snipes)

Should have been a fun action film, but ended up in dirge with two actors who should have known better to get involved with a script like this - avoid at all costs... :)

Me too I saw that one at the cinema in '96 and felt De Niro despite giving a reasonably good performance was mis-cast and didn't look/feel comfortable in the 'fan' role and Snipes was totally un-enthusiastic in his role. Blade or Passenger 57 it aint! Cheers!

Doctor? wrote: ...and gave us a story where the fucking Marines defeat the Martians.

Damn right we would!

Now if the movie had the Army or the British SAS, then I could see your point in the unbelievability of the movie

Alan Paul Kitching wrote:

404 error wrote: Pretty Woman, got dragged into seeing that when the film we wanted to see was full. I had a whole alternative plot worked out, where Julia Roberts was the daughter of a guy who lost his job and killed himself thanks to Richard Gere's character's corporate raiding, and she was only getting close to him so she could brutally murder the bastard with an axe. I think that would have made for a much better film, very surprised the studio went for the sappy ending instead. (where the rich bastard gets to become the good guy while keeping all his ill-gotten loot.) Possibly the least realistic depiction of street prostitution ever.

Ugh that film was the biggest pile of 'chick flick' toss ever. Typical middle-America and maybe they should've watched Band Of Gold to have seen what that life really is and how it should be done!

404 error wrote: The Exorcist, least scary, most ludicrous and over-rated film of all time. Honestly, the best the devil can manage is cheap sub-Paul-Daniels magic tricks like levitating beds and Monsieur Creosote style projectile vomiting? Complete amateur. Frankly the kid would probably have been in more danger from being alone with the priest, given recent scandals.

I preferred The Reposed LOL! I only got round to seeing this in 98/98 so never really saw the pirates but this is one of the most hyped and damp squib horror movies ever IMO. The special effects in this are laughable even for '70's standards and it only really got the reputation it did due to the religious controversy it courted.

404 error wrote: Alien 3 & 4. Not because they were awful, they weren't entirely bad, they had a few good ideas, but they were a disappointing waste of a good franchise.

You hit the nail on the head there. Should have really ended it all with Alien and Aliens but the 'Alien' franchise was such a rich cash cow it was inevitable that it was going to be milked. Alien 3 for me is a bit of a disappointment but having watched the DVD I know now it's more a victim of political infighting at Fox which resulted in 3 different directors either leaving, getting sacked or hired and in turn it creates a very disjointed film to watch. David Fincher does a reasonable job considering the infighting, lack of time and support from Fox he got but this almost destroyed his career until Se7en came along. Alien Resurrection is okay but again nothing really to write home about and a the plot of the genetically modified Ripley/Alien clone is a bit far fetched after Ripley fried herself in Alien 3.

404 error wrote: Oh and there's some movie out now about some tiresome pop-star what killed himself, that sounds pretty dreadful, I shall be avoiding that (apparently they couldn't even afford to make it in colour!).

Nick King wrote: The Fan (with Robert DeNiro & Wesley Snipes)

Should have been a fun action film, but ended up in dirge with two actors who should have known better to get involved with a script like this - avoid at all costs... :)

Me too I saw that one at the cinema in '96 and felt De Niro despite giving a reasonably good performance was mis-cast and didn't look/feel comfortable in the 'fan' role and Snipes was totally un-enthusiastic in his role. Blade or Passenger 57 it aint! Cheers!

what the...

RE doctor? comments on war of the worlds:

Never saw the film, didn't sound very promising (Tom Cruise is only good when he's playing a complete odd-ball who doesn't fit in with normal society, i.e. Collateral - wonder why that should be?).

Setting it in the US makes perfect sense, the original story was set in the leading imperial power of its day for a reason, after all. But did they really change the story so the Marines kick alien butt? Talk about missing the point.

(Though it wouldn't be unprecedented. Apparently an American author wrote a 'sequel' a few years after the original was published, in which Earth sends an army to Mars and wreaks vengeance on the Martians.)

I have plenty. Looking back, kids' movies are so nauseating. My parents rented them or took me to see them in the theaters.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire Star Kid Flipper My Favorite Martian (for a middle school field trip) Mission to Mars 1941 Young Einstein Batman and Robin Batman Forever The Sixth Man (watched it in my high school PE class) Larger than Life Mighty Joe Young The Flintstones Some Ewok film I saw on the Disney Channel The Parent Trap (LL version: had to watch it during a middle school trip)

Doctor? wrote:

pumped full of drugs wrote:

Doctor? wrote: Gotta be Cruise's War of the Worlds. As if you didn't know.

Mind you, the recent-ish version of The Time Machine comes pretty fucking close.

I don't know if it is terrible, but War of the World's is a totally pointless remake that is unbelievably boring for a film trying to have such a level of high tension with lots of explosions and computer monsters. Cruise can't play a sympathic character at all well, but Spielberg must be trying to imitate Kubrick's mistakes.

He took the great novel of the English language, the almighty father of every film/tv show you ever seen with an alien in it, invading or otherwise....and turned it in to 90mins of an obnoxious wee girl screaming. A tale of "the oppressor getting oppressed" that if ANY country needed to hear... it's the US...and gave us a story where the fucking Marines defeat the Martians. EDIT: and W T F was all that with the red weed, it looks like the Martians were FEEDING it on the blood they'd extracted. WHY? how could that have been scarier or more cinegenic than seeing the Martians draining blood from living humans and injecting themselves with it while hooting happily. Likewise, what's with that PATHETIC main weapon on the fighting machines???? "ooooh thye just went "foop" into dust", yeah fucking terrifying, and certainly that much better than seeing a "ghost of a beam of light" turn everying it touches, people included, into an inferno, with a little "Whump" (to add to the shrieking of the heat ray generator and the whistling roar of it swishing this way and that through the air). Sigh. It's like he'd made Jaws with a lion fish....just as deadly...but shite and not scary.

Maybe if anyone involved had READ THE FUCKING BOOK? FFS it's only 180 pages. While we're at it..... In fact, he doesn't even fucking call them martians. It's set 100 years late. Wrong arrival method Wrong country Stupid "roswell retard" aliens. The frankly INSANE and CONFUSING hash-amalgomation of The Curate and The Artilleryman/Man From Putney Hill played by Tim Robbins.

I WILL kill him if I meet him, I am not kidding. I wept at the end of it, it was like paying to see the mona lisa but instead seeing a crude stick figure sketch of two dead dogs. I could go on and on, but I'll stop short and leave it at...EVERYTHING is wrong in it.

Except, the MARTIAN fighting machines, they are excellent, and probably the closest anyone has managed to Wells' description, with the possible exception of the harvester things in the first Matrix movie. The shot of one walking through the town near the start is amazing, it could be Weybridge or Shepperton in 1904, if it were not for straight roads, wooden houses[1] and fucking cars.

Funny you mention Kubrick in relation to this, I hadn't thought of that, Speilberg (does that not mean "playtown"?)/cruise/whoever, certainly managed to do to one Sci Fi bible, what Stanley did to another......LEAVE THE FUCKING STORY OUT! I mean could ANYONE fathom 2001 out if they had not read the book? A stunning movie certainly, and still one of only 2 real sci-fi movies I have seen (the other being 2010), still the best depiction of space ever.....but you've no bloody chance of working it out without Clarke's help. FFS he never named "Moonwatcher" in it, never did the rave scene round the monolith...and worst....worst of all....made HAL9000 appear like an evil murdering monster machine....wanker[2]!

Oddly, I loved Independence day the first time I seen it (despite the obvious "no, this isn't WOTW at all, it's a toally original story, no, honestly, it is" thing), possibly cos I thought much of it was a piss take. Second time round, the cold light of day showed it for the shite it is. As A.C.Clarke said..."how did they know the Aliens ran Windows95?"

[1] Why do so many yanks build houses from wood, then when a hurricane/tornado blows the fucker away, kids, dog, cat, granny and all....they act all surprised and pissed off. Perhaps the person responsible for setting building codes should read the 3 little pigs? [2] Partly cos I have a fondness for HAL, but mostly cos Clarke fucking hated the cliche "man's great creation turns against him" Frankenshite type of story, and as such wrote the whole HAL thing diametrically opposed to the way it appears in the movie.

btw, I did read War of the Worlds, and I'm proud to say that I didn't see the crappy Tom Cruise version.

Doctor? wrote:

I mean could ANYONE fathom 2001 out if they had not read the book? A stunning movie certainly, and still one of only 2 real sci-fi movies I have seen (the other being 2010), still the best depiction of space ever.....but you've no bloody chance of working it out without Clarke's help. FFS he never named "Moonwatcher" in it, never did the rave scene round the monolith...and worst....worst of all....made HAL9000 appear like an evil murdering monster machine....wanker[2]!

i admit, 2001 is one of those 'huh?' films, but what i understood it to mean (after about five viewings) was that the monolith appeared at different moments of human intellectual ingenuity (the development of weapons, space travel, the starchild, etc.) and i didn't see HAL (or IBM, if you will) as a murderer, but as a rather childlike preserver of the 'mission.'

i think it's the best sci-fi film ever made. it shows you don't need a lot of action or dialogue to make a stirring film (see koyaanisqatsi (sp?), as well).

my mind is going...my mind is going...

Fucktruck 8 Not a patch on 1-7

the Sgt. Pepper's movie with the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton; despite no dialog to burden everybody down , it's got extremely wooden acting by people who should have known better, like Donald Pleasence and Steve Martin. Aerosmith were definitely coked out of their heads to allow themselves to be filmed getting beaten up by the Bee Gees and Frampton.....

Buffy wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

I mean could ANYONE fathom 2001 out if they had not read the book? A stunning movie certainly, and still one of only 2 real sci-fi movies I have seen (the other being 2010), still the best depiction of space ever.....but you've no bloody chance of working it out without Clarke's help. FFS he never named "Moonwatcher" in it, never did the rave scene round the monolith...and worst....worst of all....made HAL9000 appear like an evil murdering monster machine....wanker[2]!

i admit, 2001 is one of those 'huh?' films, but what i understood it to mean (after about five viewings) was that the monolith appeared at different moments of human intellectual ingenuity (the development of weapons, space travel, the starchild, etc.) and i didn't see HAL (or IBM, if you will) as a murderer, but as a rather childlike preserver of the 'mission.'

i think it's the best sci-fi film ever made. it shows you don't need a lot of action or dialogue to make a stirring film (see koyaanisqatsi (sp?), as well).

my mind is going...my mind is going...

Aye, good going, but you're not exactly of average intellect ;) I just wish we'd had the full "monolith fucks with moonwatcher and his mates' brains to techno music" scene. As for HAL, at least in 2010 it is made abaundantly and painfully clear that the deaths of Discovery's crew were on human hands not HAL's.

Edel: the thing is, the marines SHOULD have been 5000miles and about 60 years away from the Martians. In the book they BBQ and gas the entire British Army between Saturday and Monday.

Cozzie: watch it!! you need to see the depth of the evil, the full horror of the violation that has been inflicted on this beautiful tale.

Doctor? wrote: Edel: the thing is, the marines SHOULD have been 5000miles and about 60 years away from the Martians. In the book they BBQ and gas the entire British Army between Saturday and Monday.

Cozzie: watch it!! you need to see the depth of the evil, the full horror of the violation that has been inflicted on this beautiful tale.

On my comment: Spot on

On Cozzies: She'd have to understand that there was a book out called War of the Worlds....she just stopped reading Harry Potter

Independance day, ain't been to the cinemas since - utter bollocks

|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3 wrote: Breakfast on Pluto.

Ha! My friend Derek is in that...he is the black guy who opens the door to Kitten when he goes to London to go to his mothers house.

#1 Carnosaur

#2 Spongebob Squarepants Movie

1. Babe: Pig In The City - my mum wanted to see it. Total waste of time.
2. The Sixth Sense - overblown made-for-TV c**p that could've been over in an hour. Plus, I already knew the ending before I saw it although, to be fair, it'd been out for a year at the time.