perhaps the most important american football statistic

the average football game takes three hours (what with adverts, time outs, mindless chatter, etc.), and the ball is actually in play for...

...twelve minutes.

Surely the most important statistic is that 99.9% of American footballers are in the closet, BUT LOVE THE SWEET TASTE OF SPUNK?

Surely?

Malcolm McDowell's Tattered Foreskin wrote: Well, they are always slapping each other on the butt...

soooooooo

I actually watched half the superbowl the other night. Don't the players have astonishing firm arses??? And don;t they like to show them off. BIG, BIG helmets, too.

(ON topic: I was wanking furiously throughout, OK?)

Well I'd say what goes on in the locker room stays n the locker room...

They all are after the Tight End (but he's got one Defensive End), they usually just do a Linebacker with the Wide Receiver..... but after their done they usually want thier quarter back.

AgentWood wrote: the average football game takes three hours (what with adverts, time outs, mindless chatter, etc.), and the ball is actually in play for...

...twelve minutes.

This is true. But in those 12 minutes each team might score a touchdown or feild goal 2,3,4 sometimes five times.

There's a real good chance you could sit through 90 minutes of footy game play plus the mysterious injury stoppage time and still be left nil-nil. Then you go to extra time which is OK if they're playing "golden goal" (or sudden death as we like to call it). If the game is still not settled, then you go to what is obstensibly a net minder assassination or "shootout".

Tex wrote:

AgentWood wrote: the average football game takes three hours (what with adverts, time outs, mindless chatter, etc.), and the ball is actually in play for...

...twelve minutes.

This is true. But in those 12 minutes each team might score a touchdown or feild goal 2,3,4 sometimes five times.

There's a real good chance you could sit through 90 minutes of footy game play plus the mysterious injury stoppage time and still be left nil-nil. Then you go to extra time which is OK if they're playing "golden goal" (or sudden death as we like to call it). If the game is still not settled, then you go to what is obstensibly a net minder assassination or "shootout".

If you knew anything about Football you would realise that a game doesnt need a tonnes of goals to be exciting and dramatic.

Injury time isnt mysterious, its 30 seconds added on for every subsitution plus the amount of time added on for injury stoppages if a plaer hasnt gone off. Its not hard to understand.

And Golden goal was abolished years ago.

And the vast majority of games that are drawn (or "tied", as you hicks are prone to say) dont to go to extra time or "net minder assasination." they just stop, and either split the points, or have a replay. Only in knockput games do the rules of extra time and penalty shoot out apply. And thats only if the away goals rule isnt enforced.

I cant believe I am explaining the rules of the most simple sport on the planet to a Texas hick.

Yeeeee-hah!

Uncle Liam wrote:

Tex wrote:

AgentWood wrote: the average football game takes three hours (what with adverts, time outs, mindless chatter, etc.), and the ball is actually in play for...

...twelve minutes.

This is true. But in those 12 minutes each team might score a touchdown or feild goal 2,3,4 sometimes five times.

There's a real good chance you could sit through 90 minutes of footy game play plus the mysterious injury stoppage time and still be left nil-nil. Then you go to extra time which is OK if they're playing "golden goal" (or sudden death as we like to call it). If the game is still not settled, then you go to what is obstensibly a net minder assassination or "shootout".

If you knew anything about Football you would realise that a game doesnt need a tonnes of goals to be exciting and dramatic.

Injury time isnt mysterious, its 30 seconds added on for every subsitution plus the amount of time added on for injury stoppages if a plaer hasnt gone off. Its not hard to understand.

And Golden goal was abolished years ago.

And the vast majority of games that are drawn (or "tied", as you hicks are prone to say) dont to go to extra time or "net minder assasination." they just stop, and either split the points, or have a replay. Only in knockput games do the rules of extra time and penalty shoot out apply. And thats only if the away goals rule isnt enforced.

I cant believe I am explaining the rules of the most simple sport on the planet to a Texas hick.

Yeeeee-hah!

Liam, you are - as usual - obviously quite tense.

Can I wank you off???

You dont even need to ask!

That's what I'm talking about!!!

Community of hand relief. Community.

Nice tits Jeff.

They look quite firm too.

Uncle Liam wrote:

Tex wrote:

AgentWood wrote: the average football game takes three hours (what with adverts, time outs, mindless chatter, etc.), and the ball is actually in play for...

...twelve minutes.

This is true. But in those 12 minutes each team might score a touchdown or feild goal 2,3,4 sometimes five times.

There's a real good chance you could sit through 90 minutes of footy game play plus the mysterious injury stoppage time and still be left nil-nil. Then you go to extra time which is OK if they're playing "golden goal" (or sudden death as we like to call it). If the game is still not settled, then you go to what is obstensibly a net minder assassination or "shootout".

If you knew anything about Football you would realise that a game doesnt need a tonnes of goals to be exciting and dramatic.

Injury time isnt mysterious, its 30 seconds added on for every subsitution plus the amount of time added on for injury stoppages if a plaer hasnt gone off. Its not hard to understand.

And Golden goal was abolished years ago.

And the vast majority of games that are drawn (or "tied", as you hicks are prone to say) dont to go to extra time or "net minder assasination." they just stop, and either split the points, or have a replay. Only in knockput games do the rules of extra time and penalty shoot out apply. And thats only if the away goals rule isnt enforced.

I cant believe I am explaining the rules of the most simple sport on the planet to a Texas hick.

Yeeeee-hah!

Yer right, soccer is a great game.....

......for prancing pansies!!!:p

ooohhhh, look at me! I can do fancy footwork with a speckled ball! All that 'skill' and yet they can't get it into a simple net.... maybe if they had full contact SOCCER then it would be interesting

EdelBrock wrote: maybe if they had full contact SOCCER then it would be interesting

There was some good full-contact football in the opening scene of The Last Boy Scout.

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

Liam, you are - as usual - obviously quite tense.

Can I wank you off???

back off, asshole. that's my job.

AgentWood wrote:

TONY PULIS'S LOVE TRUNCHEON wrote:

Liam, you are - as usual - obviously quite tense.

Can I wank you off???

back off, asshole. that's my job.

What, still???????????????

Uncle Liam wrote:

I cant believe I am explaining the rules of the most simple sport on the planet to a Texas hick.

Yeeeee-hah!

don't remember any of those things happening in golf...

Tex wrote:

AgentWood wrote: the average football game takes three hours (what with adverts, time outs, mindless chatter, etc.), and the ball is actually in play for...

...twelve minutes.

This is true. But in those 12 minutes each team might score a touchdown or feild goal 2,3,4 sometimes five times.

i think you're missing the point. there might be several touchdowns in those twelve minutes...but those twelve minutes are spread over three hours!

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

EdelBrock wrote: maybe if they had full contact SOCCER then it would be interesting

There was some good full-contact football in the opening scene of The Last Boy Scout.

That movie owes me royalties! I swore when I was a kid, but when I'd go home I'd have to watch my language around my mom... so instead of 'son of a bitvh' I changed it to "son of a motherless goat'.... which showed up years later in 'the last boyscout'.... I've never heard anyone else use it, so they MUST have pulled it from me... the bastards owe me money!

watched the "super" bowl on sky plus. only took 20 mins. was still as dull as fuck though

absolutely no flow to the game

Uncle Liam wrote:

Tex wrote:

AgentWood wrote: the average football game takes three hours (what with adverts, time outs, mindless chatter, etc.), and the ball is actually in play for...

...twelve minutes.

This is true. But in those 12 minutes each team might score a touchdown or feild goal 2,3,4 sometimes five times.

There's a real good chance you could sit through 90 minutes of footy game play plus the mysterious injury stoppage time and still be left nil-nil. Then you go to extra time which is OK if they're playing "golden goal" (or sudden death as we like to call it). If the game is still not settled, then you go to what is obstensibly a net minder assassination or "shootout".

If you knew anything about Football you would realise that a game doesnt need a tonnes of goals to be exciting and dramatic.

Injury time isnt mysterious, its 30 seconds added on for every subsitution plus the amount of time added on for injury stoppages if a plaer hasnt gone off. Its not hard to understand.

And Golden goal was abolished years ago.

And the vast majority of games that are drawn (or "tied", as you hicks are prone to say) dont to go to extra time or "net minder assasination." they just stop, and either split the points, or have a replay. Only in knockput games do the rules of extra time and penalty shoot out apply. And thats only if the away goals rule isnt enforced.

I cant believe I am explaining the rules of the most simple sport on the planet to a Texas hick.

Yeeeee-hah!

Hey, if you have put lipstick on pig by not calling a "tie" a "tie", then by all means.

"Golden Goal" was on my FIFA '04. :D

Finally, how are things in home of "that little Austrian corporal"?