ROOM 101..FOR THE LAST TIME!!!!

Jim, in my pals defence..we were only 14 or 15 at the time...and there's always 1 mad bastard that will try anything

Originally posted by Sarah Middle has maths been banished? please please banish it cos i'll be 100 before i finish one of the 5 pieces of homework i have to do by tomorrow if i want to stay alive.

Sarah - too fucking right Maths has been Banished - the guy that shouted "eureka" and created Trigonometry was a right wanker!!

Marty - yer not fucking funny mate But then again I should have fucking known better;) After I've digested that motherfuckin list - I'll reply to it. You've nearly pissed me off more than my wee brother - I spent over an hour compiling what was in this bastard room - and that little bastard threw the list away....Room 101 closes Thursday...results Fri or Sat

Originally posted by Martian Gray Okay, here's the PROPER number 101:101) BALD BASTARDS - BRITAIN, NATION OF SLAPHEADS. WHETHER THEY HAVE HAIR OR NOT, IT SEEMS EVERY MAN AND HIS DOG WANTS TO LOOK HARD AND EXHIBIT THAT GOOD OLD "EGGHEAD" LOOK. NOTHING UGLIER IF YOU ASK ME....WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOD OLD 80'S MULLETS - AT LEAST THEY WERE OFFENSIVE IN A FUNNY KIND OF WAY, BUT BONEHEADS JUST LOOK STUPID, TWATTISH AND ABOVE ALL, UGLY - QUALITIES THAT BRITAIN HAVE APLENTY AMONGST ITS FAST CULTURALLY-CONSTIPATED POPULACE. FUCKING BONEHEADS - BANISH THEM - OR FUCKING BECOME ONE YOURSELF, DOG-FUCKER!There, happy now,"Mr Sauce"? (HP is it? ho ho ho.....)

Okay Okay - I'll do yer fucking list in a minute - probably take me half an hour

Baldies are a definate ....BANISHED NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME GET ON WITH IT;)

And by the way - I'm sober tonight

Originally posted by Martian Gray Right Shug, you BASTARD, seeing as you've asked me again, get yer greasy kissing gear around this lot and blow me sideways and RODGER MY FUCKING BLEEDING PILES WITH A RUSTY SECOND-HAND KEBAB SKEWER if you fail to banish the whole fucking lot ON MY REQUEST into the hallowed portals and therefore show yerself up to be the lightweight closet coward that you really are...........so here goes, Shugboy:1) MEN WHO WHISTLE TUNELESSLY FOR NO REAL REASON AT ALL EXCEPT TO JUST ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF ME - I decked one guy in a shopping queue last week because I was in a foul mood as it was listening to all that tenth rate Xmas shite pouring from the speakers just to get us all in the mood.2) PEOPLE WHO TAKE THEIR TIME GETTING OFF FUCKING BUSES AND FUCKING TRAINS3) ARRIVA TRAINS NORTHERN - EVERY BASTARD WHO WORKS FOR THEM4) RAILTRACK SHAREHOLDERS - You lost it all, So fucking what? Big Deal! You deserve it! Get Over it! Or fuck Off!5) CHRISTMAS RECORDS6) CHRISTMAS CASH-IN GREATEST HITS PACKAGES7) MANCHESTER UNITED8) FOOTBALL-RELATED THREADS ON NEW ORDER ONLINE - FUCK THEM ALL!9) DWARVES10) TALL PEOPLE WHO SMELL OF DOG PISS11) FAT PEOPLE WHO SMELL OF DOG PISS12) PREGNANT WOMEN WHO SMELL OF DOG PISS13) PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN STOCKPORT (EXCEPTING MYSELF OF COURSE)14) THICK MANCUNIAN ACCENTS15) THICH SCOUSE ACCENTS16) SCOUSE SCALLY FUCKERS WHO TERRORISE PEOPLE ON THE FUCKING TRAINS17) WOMEN WHO WEAR TOO MUCH PUNGENT PERFUME - MAKE ME SNEEZE SO HARD A HUGE GLOB OF SNOT AND PHLEGM WILL FIND ITSELF EMBEDDED ON THEIR SHOULDERS -18) MEN WHO WEAR TOO MUCH AFTER SHAVE - THEY'RE WORSE THAN WOMEN - ANYWAY, AFTERSHAVE'S FOR PUFFS!19) CUNTS WHO SMASH UP BUS SHELTERS AND OTHER AMENITIES - BRAINDEAD COCKCHEESE20) CHRISTMAS OFFICE PARTIES - HOW MANY MORE PROVERBIAL PHOTOCOPIES OF UNSIGHTLY BRITISH FUCKING ARSES MUST WE PUT UP WITH BEFORE THE END OF CIVILIZATION? THE WHOLE FUCKING RITUAL IS A SHAM AND IS ONLY PRACTICED BY THE SERIOUSLY SUBNORMAL AND NEANDERTHAL - SEEING AS MOST OF THE POPULATION OF THE UK IS COMPRISED OF SUCH PEOPLE, THAT'S HARDLY A SURPRISE.21)PISS HEADS WHO HAVE NOTHING INTERSETING TO SAY JUST CUZ THEY'RE PISSED - YAWWWWNNNNN.22) FOOT BALL YOBS ON TRAINS - WANKERS. PUT THEM ALL IN A TWENTY COACH TRAIN AND RUN IT AT 90 MPH OFF SOME CRACKED RAILS OFF A 130 FOOT VIADUCT. 23) TEENAGERS WHO WEAR TOO MUCH AFTER DESIGNER SHAVE - RANCID STINKY TOSSERS24) PRE-TEENS WHO WEAR TOO MUCH DESIGNER AFTERSHAVE25) JUNIORS WHO WEAR TOO MUCH DESIGNER AFTERSHAVE26) INFANTS WHO WEAR TOO MUCH DESIGNER AFTERSHAVE27) MOTHERS WHO SMACK CHILDREN IN PUBLIC KNOWING FULL FUCKING WELL THEY'LL BAWL EVEN LOUDER THAN THEY ALREADY ARE, THUS GIVING US EVEN MORE OF A FUCKING EARACHE28) NU-METAL KIDS ALL DRESSED UP LIKE SACKS OF SHIT29) LIMP BIZKIT FANS30) LIMB BIZKIT31) FRED DURST - UBER TOSSER. ISN'T HE A BIT OLD TO BE WEARING HIS FUCKING BASEBALL CAP BACKWARDS??32) REG HOLDSWORTH (KEN MORLEY) AND THAT FUCKING ANNOYING DOUBLE-GLAZING ADVERT HE STILL HAS ON TV - HAVEN'T THEY SHOT THE FROG-EYED UNFUNNY FUCKER YET?? BASTARD BASTARD BASTARD! HE SEEMS TO GLORIFY HIMSELF IN THIS ROLE AS THE FORMER TEDIOUS OLD CLUELESS FUCKWIT OFF CORRIE - I PRESUME HE GETS PAID BY THE WORD (WELL I FUCKING WELL DON'T- AND I'M KEYING THIS IN THRU GRITTED TEETH AS A RESULT) WHICH IS WHY HE RABBITS ON IN HIS USUAL WANKY IRRITATING WAY CRAMMING IN TWENTY THOUSAND WORDS IN THE MINUTE HE HAS ON AIR EACH TIME HE DOES AN AD. FUCKWIT!!33) REG HOLDSWORTH - JUST TO RAM THE POINT HOME A SECOND TIME34) PEOPLE WHO LIKE PHIL COLLINS RECORDS AND HAVE THE SHEER NERVE TO MENTION THIS FACT ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD.35) MATT BELLAMY OF MUSE - FUCKING EDWARD SCISSORHANDS DOES FREDDY MERCURY MORE LIKE.36) MARIAH CAREY - FUCKING CATERWAULING BITCH. THANKS TO HER ALL THOSE FEMALE TOSSERS ON "POP IDOL" ALL SING EXACTLY LIKE HER - LIKE - "WHY SING ONE NOTE WHEN THIRTY WILL DO??" FUCKERS!! CACK!!!38) DELIA SMITH - FUCK ME, "TO DO A DELIA" - MAYBE THE OXFORD DICTIONARY SHOULD CONSIDER REPRINTING THEIR VOLUMES TO SAY INSTEAD: "DEFINITION: TO TALK AND ACT IN A PONTIFICATING WAY LIKE SOME INCREDIBLY IRRITATINGLY PRETENTIOUS GORMLESS UPPER CLASS TWAT - WITH CHEESE STUCK IN HER FILLINGS"39) CHRISTMAS TV SCHEDULES - YAWN - MORE DAVID JASON AND ONLY FOOLS AND HORSESHIT - OH YIPPEE.40) THE TOP 40 CHARTS41) MARK GOODIER'S FUCKING IRRITATING VOICE ( AS HEARD ON NEARLY EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TV AD FOR NOW COMPILATIONS, DANCE COMPILATIONS, TRANCE COMPILATIONS...ETC...)42) KARAOKE SINGERS AND PUBS43) KARAOKE SINGERS WHO CAN'T EVEN SING44) FILTHY PUBLIC TOILETS. IS THIS A PROBLEM UNIQUE TO THIS SHITHOLE OF A COUNTRY OF OURS?EVEN THE AMSTERDAM PISSOIRS LOOK POSITIVELY FIVE STAR COMPARED TO THESE WE HAVE HERE.45) OUR CONGESTED ROADS46) OUR HOPELESS POSTAL SERVICE - CONSIGNIA?? THE SHIT HIT THE FAN AGES AGO. WHY WASTE ALL THAT MONEY TRYING TO ICE THE TURD SO TO SPEAK, HUH? (ANYWAY, MOST OF THE FUCKING POSTMEN IN MY SHITTY NEIGHBOURHOOD ARE CROOKS ANYWAY - MAKE SHAUN RYDER'S FORMER JOB AS LIKEWISE SEEM LIKE A PROPER ANGEL IN COMPARISON)47) MY TWATTY D-I-Y OBSESSED NEIGHBOURS NEXT DOOR - TWO YEARS ON AND THEY'RE ABOUT TO REDO THEIR SECOND BEDROOM FOR THE THIRD TIME - TOO MANY OF THESE CHANGING ROOMS PROGRAMMES GONE COMPLETELY TO THEIR FUCKING HEADS. GOOD NEWS AS OF LATELY - BOTH OF THEM SEEM TO HAVE GONE DOWN WITH THE FLU - I CAN HEAR THEM SPLUTTERING THRU THE PAPER THINWALLS. LET'S HOPE THEY BOTH COP IT SOON THEN. :evil:48) SMALL YAPPY TERRIER DOGS - FUCKING GOOD ONLY FOR ONE THING - KICKING INTO ORBIT!49) BRITISH TELECOM FOR CHARGING AN ARM AND A LEG FOR EVERYTHING THEY DO.50) A.O.L FOR PISSING ME ABOUT LATELY - THEIR MONTHLY FREE TRIAL IS A CLEVER RUSE JUST TO GET YOU TO SIGN ON AS A SUBSCRIBER. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS - THE FIRST MONTH IS GREAT - ALL HITCH FREE CONNECTIONS AND IDAL-UPS - THE PROBLEMS ALL START AS SOON AS YOU FINISH YOUR FREE TRIAL AND SIGN UP BY PARTING WITH YOUR CASH - CLEVER MANIPULATION OF GULLIBLE CUSTOMERS OR WHAT EH? WHO ELSE THINKS THE SAME AS ME? CRAFTY FUCKERS. THANKS ALSO TO THEM I FIND IT HARD TO LOG ON AS MUCH AS I LIKE OTHERWISE - MORE HASSLE THAN ITS WORTH SOMETIMES.51) HIPPIES52) PEOPLE WHO HAVE AN IMPOSSIBLY OPTIMISTIC OUTLOOK ON LIFE IN GENERAL - THEY NEED SHAKING BY THE SCRUFF OF THEIR NECK UNTIL THEIR TEETH FALL OUT - THEN THEY'LL SEE WHAT REALITY IS ALL A-FUCKING-BOUT53) ONLOOKERS WHO DON'T RUSH TO HELP WHEN SOMEONE IN THE STREET IS BEING EITHER ATTACKED, OR FALLEN, OR HAD AN ACCIDENT, ETC.... WHY? GREAT BRITISH SPIRIT MY FUCKING ARSE!!!54) RUBBERNECKERS WHO SLOW DOWN ON MOTORWAYS WHEN AT THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT55) THESE FUCKING ENDLESS SHIT DOCU-SOAPS ABOUT JUVENILE OFFENDERS, TEARWAYS, JOYRIDERS, AND SPEEDY CAR CHASES, LADS ON THE PISS, SLAGS ON THE PISS, ALL OTHER MANNER OF BRITS DISGRACING THEMSELVES ALL OVER THE PLACE AT EVERY AVAILABLE OPPORTUNITY, BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH - WHERE WILL IT ALL END? ISN'T LIFE DEPRESSING ENOUGH WITHOUT SWITCHING ON THE TELLY AND SEEING THESE FUCKING INBRED CUNT'S WEASELLY FEATURES SMARMING BACK AT YOU FROM THE SCREEN....MAKES ME FUCKING SICK TO THE BACK TEETH :\puke: :\puke: WHY ARE THESE TV PRODUCERS FOREVER GLORIFYING IN THE UTTER DESPERATE UNMITIGATING SHITENESS OF (BRITISH) LIFE BY CONTINUALLY FOISTING ALL THIS TENTH-RATE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR SUB-NORMAL CACK ON US AT EVERY AVAILABLE OPPORTUNITY- IF YOU INSIST ON DOING THIS, MAYBE I SHOULD REFUSE TO PAY THAT EXTORTIONATE INSULT THEY CALL A TV LICENCE THEN - AND YOU SHOULD ALL DO LIKEWISE, FUCKERS!56) SHITE 'CONFRONTATIONAL" BANDWAGGON JUMPING "QUIZ"/"GAME" SHOWS - SUCH AS THE LATEST KILROY SILK ABOMINATION "SHAFTED" - AS IF FURTHER PROOF WAS NEEDED OF THE RELENTLESS DUMBING DOWN OF BRITISH TV - "SHAFTED"?? THERE WILL DEFINITELY BE A PROGRAMME CALLED "YOU FUCKING LOSERS" NEXT,HOW ABOUT A DOCUSOAP CALLED "SCRAPING THE BARREL" - ABOUT LIFE AS A BARMAID - NEXT?OR SOMETHING ABOUT THREE ETHNIC TOILET CLEANERS? ("FLUSHED WITH SUCCESS") FUCKING HELL!THERE IS NO HOPE FOR US AT ALL ......57) PEOPLE WHO REMIX NEW ORDER SONGS58) PEOPLE WHO GO ON ABOUT HOW GREAT SHIT NEW ORDER REMIXES ARE59) PEOPLE WHO STILL LISTEN TO HARD HOUSE AND TRANCE MUSIC60) PEOPLE WHO ( IRONICALLY - THAT'S THE KEY WORD HERE, AS I MYSELF AM A KID WHO GREW UP WITH SOME TRULY GREAT 70'S STUFF) STILL LIKE 70'S MUSIC AND ABBA/BEE GEES/GREASE/DISCO PASTICHES61) THE TOP 100 BEST WANKSTAINS EVER TV PROGRAMMES62) I LOVE 2000 ANYBODY?63) THE NME AND THE TWATS WHO WRITE FOR IT64) PEOPLE WHO SAY TO ME: "OH CHEER UP IT'S CHRISTMAS! " THAT'S PRECISELY WHY I'M SO PISSED OFF!! GRRR! THEY NEED THEIR EYEBALLS GOUGING OUT AND SHOVED DOWN THEIR THROATS FOR THAT!!!!!65) SUPERMARKET'S SHELF STACKERS WHO KEEP MOVING THEIR PRODUCTS AROUNF ON A REGULAR BASIS - IT'S NOT BIG AND IT'S NOT CLEVER - IT'S IRRITATING AS FUCK!!66) THE EXTORTIONATE PRICES OF CLOTHING, TOILETRIES AND CDS IN BRITAIN - FUCKING RIP - OFFS!£30 FOR A T-SHIRT? FUCK OFF!! £13.99 CD A BARGAIN? I REFUSE TO PAY ANY MORE THAN A TENNER FOR ANY CD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH....NOW STUFF OFF!67) PEOPLE WHO DELIBERATELY IGNORE NO SMOKING SIGNS IN ANY PUBLIC PLACE - YOU CONTEMPTUOUS LITTLE TWATS - HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I DRANK A PINT OF BEER AND THEN PROCEEDED TO PISS THE CONTENTS OF IT BACK INTO YOUR FACE? CUZ THAT'S WHAT SMOKING'S LIKE, WHERE IT ISN'T ALLOWED. HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT.68) PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO FUCKING RESPECT.69) PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO FART PROPERLY70) PEOPLE WHO WEAR WACKY TIES IN THE OFFICE71) PEOPLE WHO DO STUPID" WACKY WACKY OOH SO WACK-EE" THINGS FOR CHARIDEE- LIKE SAHVING THEIR HAIR/EYEBROWS OFF OR WANKING OFF IN A BATH FULL OF BAKED BEANS AND TERRAPINS. LOOK - HOWS ABOUT DOING SOMETHING ORIGINAL FOR A CHANGE - LIKE CUTTING YOUR OWN HEAD OFF.? SUITS ME.72) PEOPLE WHO CASH IN ON SUCDDENLY DECEASED POP STARTS BY BRINGING OUT HASTILY- PACKAGED SHODDILY-MARKETED BEST-OF COLLECTIONS THAT ARE THE EPITOME OF VULTUROUS BAD TASTE. IT'S GEORGE'S TURN NOW - JUST WAIT FOR THEM TO FLOOD THE MARKET NOW....73) POP STARS WHO DO CHARITY RECORDS - JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DONATE THE MONEY LIKE ALL GOOD PEOPLE SHOULD - NO NEED TO MAKE A SONG AND DANCE ABOUT IT.74) PETE TONG.75) GRAHAM NORTON. OO-ER MISSUS, YOU TEDIOUS OLD GROLLUCK!76) MICHAEL BARRYMORE - TIME TO PACK IT IN, MATE. YER OLD.77) REG HOLDSWORTH (YEP - AGAIN - I HAVE TO DO THIS BECAUSE HE KEEPS POPPING UP INTO MY SUBCONSCIOUSNESS LIKE SOME FUCKING HIDEOUS UNFLUSHABLE TURD.)78) CRAP STAND-UP COMEDIANS WHO THINK THEY CAN BE FUNNY JUST BE OVER ACTING AND GESTICULATING WILDLY ON STAGE KNOWING FULL WELL THAT PISSED UP STUDENTS WILL LAUGH AT ANYTHING - EVEN USED TAMPONS IN THEIR BREAKFAST CEREAL.79) UPPER CRUSTED PAMPERED FRESHER STUDENTS JUST ARRIVED IN UNI AT MC'R - ESPECIALLY THOSE HERE IN MANC LAND - THEY NEED TO LEARN THE LAW OF THE STREETS HERE - CUZ, IT REALLY IS LIKE A JUNGLE OUT THERE - IF ONLY FOR THEIR OWN SAKES.80) MIDDLE AGED FATHERS WHO WEAR HUGE WHITE TRAINERS TOTALLY AD HOC WITH THE REST OF THEIR ATTIRE.81) BALDING MIDDLE AGED PEOPLE WHO STILL COMB THEIR HAIR OVER THE GOOSE BROW.82) FIRE-MEN WHO STILL DO "FULL-MONTY" TAKE-OFF'S FOR CHARITY OR ANY OTHER PURPOSE. LISTEN UP, YOU DICKS - THAT FILM IS A PILE OF STEAMING CACK - DON'T EVEN THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT YOU HAVE ANYTHING WORTH EXHIBITING - AFTER ALL, YOU'RE BRITISH, AND PROUD OF IT! LEAVE THE BLATANT EXHIBITIONISM TO OUR FRIENDS ACROSS THE CHANNEL - AFTER ALL, IT'S WHAT ANTOINE DE CAUNES' "EUROTRASH" PROGRAMME WAS DESIGNED FOR. SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO EVER STRIP OFF AND REVEAL YOUR SWEATY GRUNDIES IN REALITY, THUS SPARING THE ENVIRONMENT FROM FURTHER TOXIC POLLUTION. GOT THAT?83) ALL THESE ENDLESS TOP 100 ALBUMS EVER LISTS THAT KEEP ON COMING UP - FUCKING HELL - ALL THE SAME ARTISTS BUT JUST IN A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT ORDER - ITS ONLY SO THEY CAN TAKE TURNS AT BEING IN THE TOP TEN - FUCKING HELL.. ENOUGH IS E-FUCKING-NOUGH.84) ALL TOP 100 LISTS GENERALLY - WHY IS EVERYBODY SO STATISTICALLY OBSESSED OF LATE?FEAR OF IMPENDING OBSOLESCENCE PERHAPS? YOU FUCKING BET! AND MAY IT COME BLOODY DAMN SOON - SEEING AS I'M MORE THAN READY FOR IT!!85) NOUVEAU CUISINE - JUST WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF THIS? ONLY IF YOU HAVE AN APPETITE OF A FUCKING SPARROW. LISTEN DICKHEADS, WE GO OUT TO EAT CUZ WE WANNA GET FED! GET FULL! EAT SOMETHING HEARTY. NOT NIBBLE LIKE A MICY TWAT ON A LITTLE TWIG SOAKED IN BRANDY AND PARAFFIN. FUCK OFF!!86) ALL DESIGNER PUBS - FUCK OFF!!87) ALL DESIGNER CAFES - MANY A GREASY SPOON IN MANCHESTER HAS MET ITS SAD PREMATURE END IN ORDER TO MAKE WAY FOR THESE ABOMINATIONS. NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 88) ALL DESIGNER TRENDIES - MAKES ME WANNA POUR BOILING HOT TAR ALL OVER THEIR THREADS. YUCK!THE AGE OF THE YUPPIE NEVER WENT AWAY DID IT?89) MY LOCAL SUPERMARKET FOR NOT SELLING MY FAVOURITE BRAND OF FRESH CREAM CUSTARD ANYMORE - YOU FUCKING TRAITORS!!! KILL! KILL!! KILL!!! 90) SHOPS THAT STILL SELL FIREWORKS LONG AFTER BONFIRE NIGHT (FOR THE NEW YEAR, NOW, YOU SEE).THEY NEED FIREBOMBING THEMSELVES - FUCKERS!91) THE ROYAL FAMILY92) THE QUEEN MOTHER - HURRY UP AND DIE YOU OLD WRINKLY GERIATRIC BITCH93) ANGUS DEAYTON - MR FUCKING SMUG HIMSELF94) PEOPLE WHO DESIGN THINGS THAT ARE SO FUCKING ARTY AS TO BE ILLEGIBLE - AND BELIEVE ME I'VE SEEN MANY WEBSITES AND PUBLICATIONS THAT REALLY FUCK MY EYES UP. LISTEN YOU SHIT-FOR- BRAINS-UP-YER- OWN-ARSES INCONTINENTS, JUST CUZ YOU'VE MASTERED A SPIFFING PIECE OF SOFTWARE DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE LICENSE TO MAKE US ALL VOMIT IN DISGUST AFTER TRYING TO FATHOM OUT WITH GREAT DIFFICULTY WHAT THE FUCK IT IS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SELLING US......TAKE YOUR FLASH LITTLE TOYS AND SHOVE EM UP YER FUCKING ARSE!95) JESUS CHRIST, THIS ONES HARD WORK96) PEOPLE WHO KNOCK ON YER DOORS AT NIGHT TRYING TO SELL YOU SHIT - ALL SORTS OF THESE ABOUT OBVIOUSLY97) FUCKING JUNK MAIL THAT CRAMS ALL THE FREE PAPERS AND MAGAZINES YOU BUY98) THE NATIONAL LOTTERY AND THE PATHETIC CHARADE AROUND IT ALL....PLUS......99) THOSE INSULTING SCRATCH CARDS YOU GET IN SATURDAY NEWSPAPERS - I RIP MINE TO SHREDS THE MOMENT I LAY MY HANDS ON THEM100) REG FUCKING HOLDSWORTH - OOPS, HE'S POPPED UP AGAIN - QUICK, SOME ONE, GET ME TIMMY MALLET SO I CAN USE HIS BIG SPECCY HEAD TO BASH THIS FUCKER BACK DOWN TO WHERE HE BELONGS.....101) OH FUCK OFF - MY PATIENCE IS EXHAUSTED.... SHUG - SHUT THE FUCKING SHOP DOWN, I BEG OF YOU - EVEN I'VE RUN OUT OF THINGS TO DREDGE UP FROM MY SICK MEMORY......NOW.......ROOM 101 YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK.GOODBYE.

Whistling stays with us - I don't care how big or hard you are, you twat. People who take their time doing fucking anything totally pisses me off - I have no patience whatsoever...BANISHED I've already banished British Transport on your request you stupid twat and Novelty records teenagers, shit parties, kids, docusoaps, remixes, comedy ties, Barrymore, Posh students, compilation best of albums, royal family and junk mail have all been fucking banished - have you not been paying attention Mr Gray. I actually quite like watching Man U, it's just the big-heade fans that get on my fucking tits - not so fucking loud at the minute are they? Can't put it in mate, they still entertain me Football related threads keep me amused - as it does with a few of the regulars - so that stays as well, what have you got against Dwarves? no reason - so they stay till I hear a good reason. Anyone who smells of Dog Piss...BANISHED. Why pick on the friendly people of Stockport? I agree with you on the accents - but I have a Scottish Accent (kind of) and I don't want to single out certain parts of the country - although the Welsh Accent is in Room 101 Hooligans are already in, Women who wear too much perfume definately have to fucking go - Have you heard the joke "why do women wear make-up and perfume?" COS THEY'RE UGLY AND THEY SMELL ...BANISHED. Mothers who smack kids..fucking wankers, and yes yer right it does make them scream louder...BANISHED. Bus shelter twats and graffiti artists...BANISHED. Anyone who wears too much aftershave..can you not pull...die...BANISHED. I take it with the Piss Heads yer referring to moi...PISS OFF. Nu-metal...load of overhyped cats piss.. Limp biz & Co...BANISHED. Reg Holdsworth...I thought he was quite amusing but just for yer sanity...BANISHED. Muse...BANISHED. Womens cooking has already been banished..People who like Phil Collins Sadsters...BANISHED. Mark Goody and the charts...BANISHED. Karaoke...anything to do with it....BANISHED. Public toliets are fucking horrible places..unless yer a junky or yer names GEORGE MICHAEL....BANISHED. Christmas TV and British Roads...BANISHED Postal Workers stay...if it wasn't for them lovely people I would never have got my goodie-bag from the Muffster. Neighbours = Wankers in most cases....BANISHED. Terrier dogs and Jack fucking Russells...BANISHED. The wankers who never go to someone's help...nothing annoys me more..only a couple of weeks ago - this bloke was battering his missus - so me and my brother jumped in - and the twat nearly bit my brothers finger off...had to go to Hospital in the end so he could get a tetanus injection...needless to say the bloke got a bit of a slap;)...cowards...BANISHED. BT & AOL....BANISHED. Hippies? Very fucking amusing mate...BANISHED. Eternal Optimists...yer gonna die soon ya Bastards...BANISHED. People who still like Disco and glam....BANISHED. Trance is already in, shelve stackers...ye'd be upsetting the Major with this one...so just for Stevie Boy...they stay;) The Prices for everything in Britain is a fucking joke mate, everywhere's better than here...BANISHED PEOPLE WHO COME OUT WITH ANNOYING PHRASES ARE ALREADY FUCKING IN THERE AS WELL. Middle aged dads with white trainers always crack me up - so they stay Record companies cashing in on the dead...BANISHED. Firemen who do the Full Monty...FUCK OFF YOU RETARDED UNFUNNY BASTARDS...BANISHED. Nouveau Cuisine - now that really annoys me an all - went to Parkhead last year for a meal(celtic's ground) £33 for a couple of Baby Potatoes and a Steak no bigger than yer thumb...with 3 single fucking vegetables - followed by the smallest cake ye've ever fucking seen with a strawberry on top - went for a Mcd's 30 mins later...honestly....Nouveau Cuisine....BANISHED. Shops that still sell fireworks after Nov 5th....Burn the fuckers down...see how they like it....BANISHED. Anyone calling at yer house for anything...BANISHED. Angus Deayton I find amusing...and yes I know he doesn't write it himself...but he stays. National Lottery and all the shite that goes with it....BANISHED.

Marty please, please, please no fucking more - I agree with you - that's the most stupid idea I've ever had - ROOM 101 ;)

Originally posted by Martian Gray Anyway - take yer time Shug - I'm off t' bed now - been a fucking long day, I've got a heavy workload ahead of me tomorrow - more dog shit to smear across the neighbouring houses walls, more antisocial teenage wasters for me to gleefully to skewer through the face, more cyanide gas canisters to puncture and leave strewn in back alleys, more paraffin and matches to throw thru letterboxes.......you know, that sort of thing.Marty's gotta do what Marty's gotta do.......

Wish I had a job as good as yours;)

Sad Fucks - VG you got it in one

Before you start - I was only joking...honest

Originally posted by Iain Curtis Martin, Glad to see you're back (maybe I'm a little frightened). I half read your room 101 posting to see if I was getting banished. But your post seemed more like a political campaign platform than Room 101 material. Are you running for public office, Parliament perhaps? But you forgot to include people who let their dogs shit on the sidewalk or on your lawn and don't clean it up. Has that been banished, Shug? Or store service people who can't count change. The other day i bought something for $3.63 and gave the woman $5.13. She asked me why 13 cents but finally figured it out on the cash register.Congrats on the big 1000, Martin.Back to the the dire, hopeless black hole they call studying for finals.

People who can't round up - or count....BANISHED (I blame fucking maths teachers meself - but them useless fuckers are already in here) And since I'm in a good mood - today I will be lenient with the Banishments Are you ready Iain.....FINALS...BANISHED;)

Sebsy - you fuckin crack me up mate and just for you and that twat marty - whistling....BANISHED. The next time I pop down to London - I'll drop you a line mate - yer housemate sounds a complete twat;) In fact...Sebsy's housemate and his bint...BANISHED. Faithless....BANISHED. I know you didn't want THEM in there, but fuck it, I'm in one of those moods

Originally posted by Seb Briggs Match of the Day for not featuring the mighty Stags led by Chris 'the man' Greenacre destroy apparently superior Huddersfield 4-0 (still feel hungover from Saturday nights celebrations). Leicester next up for the best footballing side in the lower divisions.

Mansfield excellent stuff mate...you should beat Leicester by at least 6, but even though I'm in a good mood...MOTD stays. And I can't put you in...because I enjoy yer witty comments..although I will say...Hard House Nightclub...are you mad? you should be thoroughly ashamed...yer pennance is to sit in a darkened room for 3 hours, nose against a wall and have a good fucking think - of what possessed you to go to a Hard House Nightclub (and enjoying yerself) if the answer is Drugs or Alcohol - you are forgiven...if it isn't - there's no helping you

Originally posted by Keeper Of The Major Key > Originally posted by Martian Gray> Right 65) SUPERMARKET'S SHELF STACKERS WHO KEEP MOVING THEIR PRODUCTS AROUNF ON A REGULAR BASIS - IT'S NOT BIG AND IT'S NOT CLEVER - IT'S IRRITATING AS FUCK!!>

I have to stack shelves to pay my extortionate tuition fees and we put the shit where they tell us to, its not our fault if someone decides that english mustard has to go on foreign foods!

Stevie boy - did you not notice I never put you in - where's my thanks you bastard And could you have a word with yer pals to keep up the good work - just to annoy Marty

Sebsy - I think I've already banished posh twats - I would've been able to tell you straight away - but my youngest fucking brother threw away the list Chopsticks- useless fucking things....BANISHED I tell you one thing mate, it sounds as if there's never a dull moment in yer house You'd miss him if he fucked off though....wouldn't you? There'd be no-one else to pick on. My suggestion to annoy him, would be to use hise fucking wine carton as a toilet:evil: