After last months escapades, many would suggest we would be mad to try and meet up again……but hey, what the fuck, so we’re mad!
Friday evening I arrived at Annie’s house to collect her and we drove the hour and a bit drive to collect Shug from Corby. Now, don’t think I’m a mug, the reason we drove to collect him, is simple. He is a bit retarded and waiting for him to figure out how to use public transport would mean we might have got out in time for my 50th birthday. So anyways, we arrived in Corby and collected the wee man. After stopping to collect beer (he does this on purpose, drinks in the back of the car when he knows I cant have any because I’m driving, bastard!) we headed off to the outskirts of Derby. Quick wash and change and we were out in the village where I live. Needless to say copious amounts of alcohol were consumed, include a few rather mistimed tequila slammers and more than a few gin and tonics….. most of the evening is rather hazy, I know Shug in particular had a bit of a memory blank (;)), and I myself have no real recollection of getting home, but I do remember playing Regret (“maybe I’ve forgotten”???, probably for the best under the circumstances) and dancing like a maniac to The Smiths…… still these things happen!
Now isn’t it always the case… you get up early all week for work and on the weekend….. you get up early too. By about 8am I was wide awake, so decided to share my good fortune by waking Annie and Shug up too….. and this was when the sort of “hate hate” relationship Shug and I have really kicked of for the weekend. In my life I have never met a lazier bastard. From the second he awoke it was “Liv, make us a cuppa” “go the shop and get the papers” “put the telly on” etc etc etc, how he escaped with his legs I’ll never know! Having said that, I decided to use reverse psychology and did manage to get him to make ME a coffee and he even got put of bed to come to the shops with me! A work of genius if I say so myself (and when I told his Mum about she was gob smacked! 
) Last final treat when we left my house was a pile of vomit on the pavement…. And a for sale sign that had suddenly appeared in my neighbours garden……apparently the work of a phantom, but methinks more likely to be the work of a Sludden.
Major Tarantino had informed us of his arrival time in Derby (approx 5pm) and after a few train delays, he finally arrived and after Shug Annie and I had booked into our customary dirty travel lodge, Annie and I headed to the station to collect Stevie boy and his mate Paul…..poor Steve looked terrified as Annie and I arrived at the station, but after a few miles in the car, and watching Annie and I play our fave game of “Pedestrians” (mainly involves driving past pedestrians and beeping the car horn and waving….they always wave back because they assume they know you, all very juvenile, but when you are in the mood fucking hilarious) Steve has relaxed somewhat and even waved at a few pedestrians himself. On arrival at the travel lodge, Shug had failed to work out how to use the shower (see, retarded) and instead had settled on the bed drinking lager. After about a couple of hours of faffing about and getting ready we headed off into town…..was Derby ready for us….?
Bars and Pubs are plenty in Derby, and we managed to visit a good few…. Knocking back a combination of lager, vodka, Smirnoff ice and gins and tonics (not each but between us) before deciding to head to the club at about 11 pm. After queuing for a while we got into the “Blue Note” and promptly headed for the DJ to request New Order. After a few more gins, and lots of bashing into hot sweaty people, we were rewarded by the playing of “Crystal”….. fair do’s we danced a bit….erm…went fucking mental to be quite accurate. Even Stevie “I don’t do dancing” Boy was jigging away with the best of them…. And our manic behaviour certainly set us out from the crowd! As soon as the track ended…. fuck me, if it wasn’t another little treat! Love Will Tear Us Apart!!!! By the time this ended we were fucked. We’d all done our best IC impressions and were totally exhausted…..so we retreated to a corner to continue our drinking. The rest of the evening was spent dancing, drinking and pestering the DJ for more New Order. As the club was winding down, even though all of us had in turn asked for NO we started to think that perhaps we wouldn’t get anymore….L Little did we know what the DJ had in store for us….. “Right everyone, this is the last track of the evening, they have been pestering me all night, and here it is, for the New Order fans in the house” ………………………. BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, to suggest we were a bit excited would have been a gross understatement… we went (using Shug’s words) FUCKING BANANAS! We all climbed onto the podiums and proceeded to scream the words out at the top of our voice, dancing like lunatics and generally making sure that everyone knew the New Order fans were us numpties in the corner!!!!! The lights came on and at 2.30am it was time to head home…. We proceeded to spent the next 2 hours saying “I can’t believe they played BLT” etc etc etc… when we got back to the hotel, we continued drinking, and finally got to our beds at about 9am…. Had 2 hours sleep before getting up in time to vacate the room at midday.
After a spot of Lunch it was time to find another pub to watch the footy… sorted. We then spent the next about 5 hours in the pub, relaxing and finally coming to terms with the last 2 days events. Steve and Paul caught the train at 8 ish (although I think it was late) and after dropping Annie of at home, Shug and I headed to Corby.
Let me give you some background. Mrs Sludden, Shug’s Mother, is a saint. I mean it, I love this woman. Not only does she cope with Shug, but three smaller versions in the forms of his younger brothers. Anyways, after a cup of coffee (made by Shug, he’s getting better!) his Mum got out all his baby photos, and basically the two of us sat together laughing at him for about an hour or so (while Shug came in and out of the room looking embarrassed) …. I do intend to steal them soon, and post some of them there, although I do have a sneaky suspicion that he never wears anything except Celtic tops….
And finally 2 more coffees later (all three made by the Shug-ster) I headed home, tired, but happy, after another mental weekend……..
Can’t wait for Manchester….
Liv
Then I asked very politely;) fer a cup of coffee, and if it wasn't too much trouble, that Liv or Annie could go to the shop and get me the Daily Record, then cook me a bacon sarnie
