Jed Stephens wrote:
Who's the mystery TLU fan, six votes, five posts from people admitting to it

Ok, you asked for it.
"Thieves Like Us" is absolute perfection. Hell, it brings some '70s funk into the musical palette of NO, it has a cinematic quality to it that "The Perfect Kiss" would later explore much further. For my money the intro riff that Hooky stole from Hot Chocolate or something to "TLU" is far less cliched than the more ordinary two-note twang that he uses for most of "LT". However, the other basslines in both songs are just amazing, not to mention Gillian's synth work; what she plays in both "TLU" and "LT" haunts me in my dreams. But I just love it when Steve adds the slightly harsh tones from the Emulator in "TLU". In the beginning where Gillian plays those Voyetra chords, Steve answers with the Emu and Hooky answers to that with his bass, it creates some TENSION in the proceedings, even though this isn't exactly "AOC" that we're talking about.
Some people here complain about lyrics to "TLU". Let me tell you this, I was never attracted to the lyrics of New Order in the first place; if Barney comes up with a non-cliched line every now and then I don't really care about it much. What has always mattered to me the most is the way he SINGS them; he has this ability to turn even the most obvious cliches into something magical through that technically flawed voice of his. Heck, most of the stuff that the Order usually plays is cliched, a few of your typical chords and there you go. But when those chords are played by these four people with their unique rhythmic sensibilities and playing styles, with their unmatchable band chemistry, then they're pretty much the best band on the planet.
To me Barney's vocals in "Thieves" are possibly the best that he has ever done in the studio. This is, for me, the peak era for his vocals, in 1983 it started developing into this one big high-pitched passionate weapon that I just love. And it would go away too damn soon also; compare the vocals in the 1985 live versions of "Subculture" to the 1987 ones. In '87 he had already begun to speak the "you realize you can't shaft without someone else" line instead of singing it real high like he used to do earlier. And I miss that voice. For me it is as essential a part of NO as whatever Hooky does. Not that I don't love some of the things he has sung since, but still..
In "Thieves" I think Barney shows utter care with the way he combines his vocals with those "banal" lyrics. He starts out a bit cold, just like JV said, creating this image of an ice queen. Then he lets go with that soulful singing, one of those critics at AMG wrote that "TLU" is "a kind of blue-eyed soul for a later age", and while I usually don't agree with those guys because they're even worse rock snobs than I am, I do agree with this comment.
So, Barney rhymes hills with pills? West with best? Evil with eagle? I don't care one bit. In fact, I believe "Thieves" wouldn't even work with any other lyric; it's these lyrical naivetes combined with his passion when he goes to the choruses that make the whole thing work for me. When he goes from that eagle line into the coldly sung "it's called love, and it's so uncool, it's called love, and somehow it's become unmentionable" bit the music comes to this dramatic quiet passage, and then when he lets loose with his voice again it's just a magical moment for me. I think those whole two lines that I just wrote down there are another observational, clever lyrical bit, a bit of third person commentary along the lines of "The Village ("their love died three years ago...") that gives the lyrics their necessary postmodernistic edge. If that wasn't there, this song could have been sung by Otis Redding (actually I think Otis should've lived long enough to cover "BLT", but that's another story).
If anyone else than Barney sang "Thieves" I would very likely think of the whole song as banal. This way it's high above the cliches and ordinariness for me, pretty close to being the best thing NO did (but then there's always "TPK", "Procession", "Leave Me Alone", "TTON", "BLT", "Regret", "Crystal", etc, etc). Plus the dramatic way "Thieves" comes to a halt, just incredible. My favourite NO song finale along with the one in "TPK".
Oh, and this non-musician wants an impartial opinion from someone with medically proven pitch-perfect hearing in order to believe that "TLU" is sung out of key. 
But then when we start comparing the lyrics changes at gigs in the two songs, I guess it's pretty much a draw for me:
"You reached out in your sleep, and you felt my big fat cock." (- Polytechnic 1985)
"I'll gave you a thousand reasons
Why I'm your girl
I've heard you're a hundred assholes
Now with this song"
"It's called love...we masturbate
It's called love...we masturbate
It's called love and we masturbate"
(- I Beam 1983)