An Ideal For Living

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with any woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan. Jim

Magic!

:\pimp2:

It's now official.

You REALLY DO have far too much time on your hands, Mr Zizou!

:D :D :D

Dr. Laura -- further proof that Americans are shit talking morons...i hate this fucking country with more passion than a Jose Feliciano record.

It's no surprise that NewOrder are not popular here and don't give a fuck about touring on this side of the sludge pond.

Dr. Laura I hope for yer sake over there that they do not import her "universal wisdom" for yer benefit.

Unfortunately i was one of those young subjected to rigorous religeous education as a child (an unhappy product of the catholic church) but leviticus was always a good place for a laugh, proving that Jesus did have a sense of humour, something the Nuns who used to beat me extensively did not understand!!!!!

Funny you should use the title 'An Ideal For Living' because I was just reading through my copy of the book 'An Ideal for Living: History of Joy Division' by Mark Johnson today ...

Originally posted by Brendan Sun Funny you should use the title 'An Ideal For Living' because I was just reading through my copy of the book 'An Ideal for Living: History of Joy Division' by Mark Johnson today ...

Thinking about this, isn't it about time someone did a revised version of this book? from memory it only goes up to about '85 or so.. Md

Yeah, an updated reissue would be good. Mine is virtually falling apart as we speak ...

Originally posted by Zizou Zidane Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispensesadvice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, asanobservant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according toLeviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident,which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:Dear Dr. Laura:Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share thatknowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend thehomosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the otherspecific laws and how to follow them:1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates apleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours.They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned inExodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fairprice for her?3. I know that I am allowed no contact with any woman while she is inher period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do Itell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male andfemale, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend ofmine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can youclarify? Why can't I own Canadians?5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligatedtokill him myself?6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is anabomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. Idon't agree. Can you settle this?7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I havea defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including thehair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden byLev. 19:27. How should they die?9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pigmakes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting twodifferent crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearinggarments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). Healsotends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to allthe trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? -Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affairlikewe do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)I know you have studied these things extensively, so I amconfident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word iseternal and unchanging.Your devoted disciple and adoring fan. Jim

full disclosure..i'm not the "jim" who did this